Out of Nowhere (16 page)

I could hear myself babbling, like I did when I was nervous. Earlier, I’d warned my mother and Jeff about being on their best behavior, and they both acted like they had no idea what I was talking about. I’d had to remind Mom about the first time she met Adam and how she kept slipping not-so-subtle threats into the conversation like “Riley is so young.” and “Riley tells me
everything
”. It was so humiliating. Anyway, she promised she’d be good tonight.

I led Cole through the kitchen and outside. We found Mom sitting at the patio table on the deck, sipping a glass of wine while Jeff stood across from her at the grill, a can of beer in one hand and pair of metal tongs in the other. Tristan was kneeling on the small patch of grass next to the deck, singing to himself as he packed the back of his yellow dump truck with rocks.

I did the introductions. Mom stood up to shake Cole’s hand, darting a suspicious glance at the bandage that still covered the wound he’d received the day before. Between that and the scar on the inside of his forearm, she probably thought he was a heroin addict.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Cole,” Mom said, flashing her saleswoman smile. I could see the surprise in Cole’s face. In her cute little sundress, with her hair arranged in an artfully-messy bun at the back of her head, she looked beautiful and about ten years younger than her real age. She could have easily passed for my older sister.

“Nice to meet you too,” Cole replied as Jeff put his beer on the railing and held out a large hand. As they shook, I pictured Cole’s barely-healed gash opening up under the brute force of Jeff’s fingers. But he didn’t even wince.

“Co!” A small figure blurred past me and attached itself to Cole’s leg. “Hi, Co.”

“Hi, Tristan,” Cole said, patting his blond head.

I didn’t look her way, but I could sense my mother’s gaze on me, disapproving. She knew about Cole helping me babysit that one time but she didn’t know I’d had him over recently, after we’d stopped being platonic. I could feel Jeff’s disappointment too, but his stemmed from the fact that Cole was getting a more enthusiastic reception than he’d gotten earlier. Tristan had given his dad the cold shoulder at first, either because he didn’t remember him or because he wanted to punish him for leaving. He’d warmed up though, after Jeff gave him his present—a little plastic tool set. After that he forgot about being shy and went around hammering everything in the house, including the cats, who’d been cowering under my bed ever since.

We ate outside on the deck, talking about mundane things like the weather and work. I sat next to Cole, and every so often our elbows would bump because he was left-handed and I was right. Each time we connected, he glanced at me and smiled. He seemed completely at ease, sitting here with my mom and her strong, hulking boyfriend, being judged. If it were me I’d be terrified, but nothing ever fazed Cole. He was fearless.

Then, after dinner had been cleared away and Jeff was inside bathing Tristan, it happened. Either her memory had been clouded by her wine buzz or she was just hell-bent on antagonizing me, but all of a sudden my mother decided to disregard my request to keep this evening’s conversation light and easy.

“So Cole,” she said, tapping her manicured nails on the glass table top. “I’m sure Riley’s told you she wants to be a doctor.”

Cole held my hand under the table, squeezing it, while I kept a wary eye on my mother. “Yes, she has,” he said.

Mom nodded and took another sip of wine. “She’s a very intelligent girl, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. She has such a bright future ahead of her.”

Oh God, I thought. Here we go. Adam, part two. “Mom,” I said, waving my hand. “I’m sitting right across from you.” I hated it when she talked about me like I wasn’t there. It made me feel about five years old.

Mom threw me a momentary glance, as if annoyed that I’d spoken, then focused again on Cole. “Where are you going to college in the fall? I don’t think Riley’s ever mentioned it.”

“I’m not,” Cole replied, and his leg—on which our linked hands were resting—started jiggling. “Sitting in a classroom all day just isn’t for me.”

“I see,” she said after a moment’s pause. I felt like reaching over with my foot and kicking her to remove that look from her face, the one that said, clear as day:
What could my nerdy daughter possibly have in common with a shiftless bum like you?
I didn’t dare bring up California and Cole’s stunt double aspirations because I knew she’d just think it was frivolous nonsense. She wouldn’t say as much to Cole, but she’d think it. She could be so judgmental sometimes, even when she clearly had no place to be.

Just as I opened my mouth to tell her that college wasn’t for everyone, and choosing a different path didn’t automatically mean you were stupid and lazy, Jeff appeared in the doorway to the deck. Tristan was in his arms, pink and clean and in his jammies.

“Mama,” he said, reaching for her.

“He wants
you
to put him to bed,” Jeff told her. The front of his shirt was soaked from giving Tristan a bath.

“No go bed,” Tristan yelled.

Mom excused herself and took the baby inside, closing the door behind her to keep out mosquitoes. “I’ll be back in a sec,” I told Cole, and got up to follow her. I stood in the hallway outside Tristan’s room, listening to her coo at him until he settled down. I remembered how she used to make the same noises and say the same things to me when I was hurt or scared as a child. Our relationship was so straightforward back then, when she could still comfort me with a simple word or touch.

“Mom,” I said when she emerged a couple of minutes later. She startled a little to see me standing there. “Was all that really necessary?”

She composed herself quickly. “What?”

“
She has such a bright future ahead of her
,” I mimicked her. “You promised me you wouldn’t do that again.”

“Do what?”

For a college-educated women, she could be pretty dense at times. “Come on, Mom, it was so transparent. You may as well have said ‘Please don’t knock up my daughter and wreck her life and by the way, I think you’re a big slacker.’”

She held up both hands. “Riley, I never once implied such a thing.”

“You could see it in your face. You were judging him. And unfairly, I might add.” I lowered my voice in case anyone was within earshot. “Why do you care if I date someone who’s not college material? It’s not like he sits around all day smoking dope and playing video games. He has a good job. And he’s smart, which is more than I can say for
your
boyfriend.”

I knew I’d gone too far then because her face went all splotchy like it did when she was super pissed. “Riley Abigail Tate. I’ve had about enough of your disrespect. Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Tristan started crying then, saving me from any further lecturing. Mom shot me one last dirty look before going in to check on him. I took this opportunity to slip back outside. The deck was empty now, and I worried for a second that Jeff really
had
used his fists to put some fear into Cole, but then I heard voices coming from out front. I stepped off the deck and walked around the house, my pulse still racing from the confrontation with Mom.
I shouldn’t have said that about Jeff
, I thought as I arrived in the front yard to find him standing by the curb, admiring Cole’s car. Cole was leaning against the hood, saying something about ground effects while Jeff nodded his head, listening.

“You’re drooling all over the grass, Jeff,” I said as I approached them and slid up on the hood next to Cole. “You know, it’s just a car.”

They both gaped at me as if I’d said the Sistine Chapel was just a church.

“Are you kidding, Rye Bread?” Jeff said, crouching down to inspect a tire. “This is a Camaro Z28. I would’ve sold my own mother to have one of these as a teenager.”

“I’d sell mine for a nickel right about now,” I muttered low enough for only Cole to hear. He raised his eyebrows at me and I shook my head, indicating we’d talk about it later.

I heard the front door open and then my mother’s infuriated voice drifting across the yard. “Riley? Now where did she go?”

Jeff straightened up and looked over his shoulder at the porch, where Mom was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, squinting. She couldn’t make me out in the falling darkness. “She’s here,” Jeff called. Traitor.

Mom clomped down the stairs and crossed the yard. When she reached Jeff, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close, and planted a kiss on her bare neck. But she was having no part of it. She stood there like a statue, eyes locked on me.

“Riley,” she said calmly. She’d never yell at me and make a scene in front of company. “I need to talk to you inside for a minute.”

Right. If I went inside with her, I probably wouldn’t be coming back out again until September. Whatever unruly spirit had possessed me before apparently still had a hold on me because I said, “Sorry. Can’t right now. I’m going with Cole.” And then I slid off the hood and walked around to the passenger side, where I pressed my hip against the door and waited.

Mom opened her mouth to say something and then snapped it closed again. She stared hard at me for a moment, as if wondering what the hell had gotten into me. Then she plastered a strained smile on her face and turned to Cole. “It was very nice to meet you, Cole,” she said, shaking his hand again. “Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for having me,” Cole replied with a trace of unease. He glanced back at me, still leaning on the other side of the car, running my finger over a scratch in the paint.

“We’ll have to do this again soon. You’re welcome here anytime.” Even though the last sentence was meant for Cole, she glared at me as she said it. “Be home by midnight,” she added, meaning me this time. She spun around and headed back to the house, marching briskly over the grass. Jeff tossed a cheery good-bye over his shoulder as he trailed after her.

“What was all
that
about?” Cole asked when they were safely inside the house.

I just shook my head and climbed into the car, slamming the door shut behind me. After a short pause, Cole got in and started the engine. I had no idea where we were going, but at that point I didn’t really care, as long as it was away from here. But the car stayed put, idling at the curb. I glanced over at Cole, who was watching me expectantly, his bandaged hand on the gear shift.

“I’m so sorry about that.” I tipped my head back on the seat and sighed. “My mother is sort of…overly invested in my future.”

He nodded. I’d told him as much, many times. But tonight he’d been treated to a front row view, and I wouldn’t blame him at all if he refused to set foot in my house ever again.

“Can we just go?” I said, closing my eyes. The left side of my jaw was throbbing, as if I’d suddenly developed an acute case of TMJ syndrome.

“Where?”

“I don’t care. Anywhere.”

We ended up downtown, joining the Friday night late-dinner/club-hopping traffic. At the first available opening, Cole pulled into a parking lot along the waterfront. He parked the car, rolled his window down all the way, and cut the engine. Then he turned his face toward the open window, inhaling the salty ocean air into his lungs like it was essential to his survival.

“You were surprised, weren’t you?” I asked, and he exhaled, turning to face me again. “When you saw how young my mom looked.”

“No,” he said. “I mean, it wasn’t just that. I was surprised because she looks so much like you.”

“Really?” I’d been told this before, of course. Mom always said I got her looks and temper and my father’s brains and sarcastic personality.

“Yeah, it was kind of freaky.” He started messing with his bandage, lifting the edge to check on the status of his cut. “I get the feeling she doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.” He dropped his hand to the steering wheel and grinned at me. “She’s probably right.”

I snorted at the absurdity of this. “Trust me, I’m really nothing special.”

“Yes, you are. You’re ambitious and smart and beautiful, and all I have is a high school diploma and a future filled with manual labor. My parents would love it if I had a
plan
like you do. A practical plan, I mean, not show business fantasies.”

He said all this in his usual amiable way, but I detected a hint of bitterness behind his words. Hearing it made me uneasy because he so rarely deviated from his easy-going manner. Had I finally uncovered something that had the power to rattle Cole?

“Becoming a stunt double isn’t
that
far-fetched,” I said, because I didn’t know what to do with his first comment, other than disagree vehemently. “Dangerous, yes, but not implausible.”

A group of college-aged guys walked toward the front of the car, talking loudly. Drunk, probably. Cole kept an eye on them as they passed by, presumably to make sure they didn’t mistake his bumper for a urinal. When they were gone, he said, “It makes sense for me, I guess. I’ve always been kind of the black sheep of the family. The pain-in-the-ass kid. I mean, my brother’s a systems analyst in Silicon Valley and my sister’s in
law
school. Obviously I’m missing a few important genes.” He laughed. “Maybe I’m adopted.”

“Cole, stop.” Listening to him put himself down was getting me all fired up. “So what if they have fancy jobs? Are they brave like you? Can they surf and skateboard and do a perfect back flip? My guess is no.”

“This is true.” Amused, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer, dropping a kiss on my forehead. “And neither one of them has a girlfriend like you.” Before I had a chance to react to this, he opened his door and said, “Let’s go for a walk.”

The boardwalk along the water was packed with people, so we opted for the sidewalk on the other side of the lot. As we strolled past a young guy playing guitar next to a store front, his case open on the ground in front of him, I apologized to Cole again for the way my mother had acted earlier.

“Riley, it’s okay,” he said, squeezing my hand. “It’s not like she called me names and threw plates at me. She was just a little…”