Outcasts (8 page)

The guards lifted him out, and he did not move. His long
limbs dangled limp and lifeless. They carried him away.

Kylis sank to the floor and hugged her knees, hiding her
face. When the guards came, they had to pull her to her feet and shake and slap
her to force her to stand. They led her through their compound and pushed her
through the exit, locking the gate behind her. They did not speak.

Kylis stood in the harsh illumination of spotlights for a
few blank moments, then walked slowly toward the comforting shadows of night.
She had needed darkness for a long time. Everything seemed more than real, with
the absurd clarity of shock.

She saw Jason before he heard her; he was a pale patch on
the edge of the light, sitting with his knees drawn up and his head down. Kylis
was afraid to go to him.

“Kylis?”

She stopped. Jason’s voice was rough, almost
controlled but breaking. She turned around and saw him peering at her over his
folded arms. His eyes were very bright. He pushed himself to his feet.

“I was afraid,” he said. “I was afraid
they’d take you both, and I didn’t want to stay here alone.”

“Go away.”

“What? Kylis, why?”

“Gryf’s dead.” Desperation made her cruel.
She wanted to go to him, and mourn with him, but she was afraid she would cause
his destruction too. “And Gryf’s the only thing that kept us
together.”

Stunned, Jason said nothing.

“Stay away from me,” Kylis said, and walked past
him.

“If Gryf is dead, we’ve got to — “

“No!”

“Are you sure he’s dead? What happened?”

“I’m sure.” She did not face him.

He put his hands on her shoulders. “We’ve got to
get out of here before they kill us too. We’ve got to get north and tell
people what’s going on.”

“Crazy!” She pulled free.

“Don’t do this to me, Kylis.”

His plea sliced through her grief and guilt, and even
through her fear for him. She could not stand to hurt him. There was no fault
in Jason, and no blame to assign to him. His only flaw was a loyalty she hardly
deserved. Kylis looked around her, at the bare earth and the distant machines
and the soft black ferns, all so alien. She turned back.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

They held each other, but it was not enough comfort. Jason’s
tears fell cool on her shoulder, but she could not cry.

“There’s something more than Gryf and the
tetras,” Jason said. “Please let me help. Tell me why all this is
happening.”

She shook her head. “It’s dangerous for you to
stay with me.”

Suddenly he clenched his fingers around her arm. She pulled
back, startled, and when she looked up, he scared her. She had never seen
cruelty in Jason, but that was how he looked, cruel and filled with hatred.

“Jason — “

“I won’t kill him,” he said. “I won’t...
let me go — “ He looked down and realized he was gripping Kylis’
arm. “Oh, gods.” He let her go and turned and walked into the
forest.

Rubbing the bruise he had left, Kylis slowly looked behind
her. What Jason had seen was the Lizard watching them from the gateway of the
guards’ enclosure. He did not move. Kylis ran.

The thick band of multicolored stars, shining through breaks
in the clouds, lighted the way only where the ferns did not close in overhead.
Kylis stumbled through the darkness, not even slowing for pools of rainwater.
Her legs ached from fighting the suction of wet clay. Suddenly her shoulder
rammed a rough stalk and her momentum spun her, flinging her against another.
She stopped, gasping for breath, the air burning her throat.

Kylis straightened and looked around, getting her bearings.
The stars glittered like sparks in the surface of standing water. She walked
more carefully among the ferns. Her footsteps spread ripples out around her and
the water sloshed gently from her boots. Only when she reached the shelter of
dead ferns did she realize how silly and unnecessary it had been for her to be
careful not to fall.

Inside the cool nest she lay down and composed herself. When
she finally caught her breath, she began breathing slowly and regularly,
counting her heartbeats. Gradually she extended the number of beats for each
inhalation, for each exhalation, then she slowed her heart as well. She thought
about Gryf, dying deliberately rather than giving his life to those he hated.
And she thought about Jason, who would never kill even in vengeance. She was
certain of that. If she were gone, he at least would be safe.

She felt the gasp reflex growing stronger and set her
perception of it aside. Her breathing had ceased now, and her heartbeat would
stop soon. Her thoughts slowed, her memory drifted to more pleasant times. She
found herself with Gryf again, kissing him, standing in the clean hot lake,
touched by spray from the overflow pipe. She smiled. A bright yellow star
glittered through a gap between the ferns. Kylis let her eyes close, shutting
out the last light.

Insistent hands shook her. She was dimly aware of them and
of a voice calling her name. She concentrated more strongly on dying. A fist
pounded her chest and she gasped involuntarily. Someone leaned down and
breathed into her mouth, holding her chin up and her head back, forcing air
into her lungs. Her heart pounded. Pushing the person away, Kylis sat up
angrily and almost fainted.

Miria caught her and made her lie down again. “Thank
gods, I found you. I could hear you but then you disappeared.”

Kylis did not answer, but only blinked her eyes against the
light Miria carried. She tried to be angry at her, but it seemed too futile.

“Kylis!” Miria’s voice rose in panic. “Are
you there? Can you hear me?”

“Of course I’m here,” she said. She felt
dizzy. She wondered why Miria had asked such a silly question. “What do
you mean, am I here?”

Miria relaxed and brightened her lantern. “I was
afraid I’d come too late.” She had a bad scar, pink and new, on her
forehead.

“Get away from me. Why couldn’t you let us
alone?” Kylis knew she would not be able to try to kill herself again for
quite a while; she had used up too much strength.

“Gryf’s all right,” Miria said.

Kylis stared at her. “But I saw — How do you
know? You’re lying!”

“He’s all right, Kylis. I know. Please trust me.”

“Trust you! You told the Lizard about Gryf and Jason
and me! He never knew before how much he could hurt us! And now he’ll go
after Jason, too, so I’ll — “ She stopped.

“The Lizard knew you were together, but I never told
him your plans. You honored me with a request to join your family. Do you think
your judgment of me was so wrong?”

Kylis sighed. “It wasn’t very good about the kid
who turned me in.” She had to rest and breathe a moment. “I saw you
go inside the fence without any guards. And after that, the Lizard — “

“What was he trying to make you do?”

“Have a child and give it to him.”

Miria sat back on her heels. “To
Lizard
? Gods.”
She shook her head in disbelief, in sympathy for Kylis, for anyone,
particularly a child who would come under the Lizard’s control. The
yellow lantern glow glinted from the dark and lighter brown strands of Miria’s
hair. Kylis suddenly saw the two distinct colors for the first time. The
lighter brown was not sun-streaked — it grew that way naturally.

“You’re a tetra, aren’t you?”

Miria looked up, and Kylis knew she would not lie. “Yes.
Anyway,” she said sadly, “I used to be.”

“They let you go?”

“No!” She ran her hand across her hair and spoke
more calmly. “No. I was never like Gryf. I never understood what he
wanted, at least until a few days ago. Until you and I talked...” She
drew in a long breath. “Three years ago I was in an accident. I was
foolish. I took chances I had no right to take, and I nearly drowned. I died
for several minutes. No oxygen could get to my brain.” She looked away,
fiddling with the control on the lantern. “I can remember who I used to
be, but I’m not her anymore. I cannot do the work I was meant for. I feel
so stupid... I was afraid you’d done that to yourself. I was afraid you’d
damaged your brain.”

“I’m all right, Miria.” Kylis pushed
herself up on her elbow, suspicion and anger forgotten for a moment. “They
sent you here because you had an accident? I think that’s awful.”

“They could have — they should have, for what I
did. But I’m here to watch Gryf.”

“To protect him? And you let them put him in the box?”

“You know enough about Gryf to know...” Miria’s
voice faltered. “I was not here only to be sure he lived. I wanted to
force him to go back to his team. I wanted him to make up for my failure.”

“Why should he be responsible?”

“Because we’re the same.”

“Miria, I don’t understand.”

“He had the same place I did, on a different team. For
important projects we make two groups and keep them separate, so they will
confirm each other’s research or develop alternate lines. Gryf is my
trans-brother. That is what we call tetras with the same parents in opposite
couples.” She rubbed her tawny forearm. “He was never meant to be a
trans, of course, but it made no difference for the work. I crippled my team
— I felt I had to keep Gryf from crippling his. I felt responsible.”

“What’s going to happen now?”

“Now...” Miria grasped Kylis’ hands. “I’m
not a tetra anymore, Kylis. I have no vote. But I have a say, and I will do my
best to persuade them to set him free.”

“Miria, if you can — “

“I may do no better than keep them from sending him
back here.”

“Why did you change your mind?”

“Because of what you told me. I thought about it all
the time Gryf was in deprivation. What I was doing to him to force him to share
my loyalties — I almost killed him! I allowed the Lizard to torture him.
You knew better than I what that could mean.”

“But he’s all right — you said he’s
all right.”

“He is,” Miria said quickly. “He will be.
He overcame the drugs and put himself in a deep trance. I haven’t lied.
But I had nothing to do with freeing him before he died. I understand now what
happened. After two days I realized Gryf must be let go, but the Lizard would
not come out and he would not reply to my messages. He hoped to break you to
his will and Gryf to mine. When he could not — finally he was afraid to
keep Gryf in there any longer.” Her voice was strained. “I’ve
caused you so much pain. I hope some day you will all be together, and happy,
and will be able to forgive me.”

“Miria, I wish — “

The roar of a plane drowned out her words. Kylis glanced up,
startled. In all the time she had been at Screwtop, she had never heard or seen
a plane. The North Continent was too far away, and here there was no place to
land.

“I’ve got to go. I shouldn’t have left
Gryf, but I had to talk to you.” Miria helped Kylis to her feet and out
of the shelter. Kylis accepted the help gratefully. She felt wobbly.

They waded through shimmering shadows as Miria’s light
swung on her hip.

“Kylis,” Miria said slowly. “I don’t
know what will happen. I hope I can free Gryf. I will try to help you. And
Jason. But the Lizard serves the government well. They may decide he was right
and I wrong. Whatever happens will take time, and I may not be able to do
anything at all. I don’t want to deceive you.”

“I understand.” Jason was in no less danger now,
nor was she. But at least Gryf was safe. For a few moments Kylis could set
aside her fear in the joy that he was alive.

They entered the compound’s long clearing and reached
the path that led toward the prisoners’ shelter. Kylis saw the
vertical-takeoff plane hanging in midair. It slowly lowered itself, straight
down, until it was out of sight behind the bank. Its engines slowed, idling.

“I can’t take you to your shelter,” Miria
said. “I’m sorry — “

“Can I come the rest of the way — just to be
sure — ?”

“Gryf will already be on the plane, Kylis. You wouldn’t
be allowed to see him.”

“All right,” she said reluctantly. “I can
get back myself from here.”

“Are you sure? Will you be all right?”

Kylis nodded. “For now.”

“Yes...” Miria shifted her weight back and
forth, reluctant to leave her alone but anxious to meet the plane.

“Go
on
,” Kylis said.

“Yes. I must...” She hesitated a moment more,
then leaned quickly forward and embraced Kylis. “This is such a terrible
place,” she whispered. “Somehow I’ll change it.” She
turned abruptly and hurried away.

Miria walked silhouetted against the lights and lantern.
Kylis watched her go. At least she could hope now. She realized she must find
Jason and tell him everything, but most particularly that Gryf was alive and
out of the prison. Perhaps to be free. Then he could contact Jason’s
family —

“Oh, gods,” Kylis groaned. “Miria! Miria,
wait!” She ran toward the enclosure, stumbling from exhaustion.

She reached the bank above the fence just as Miria put her
palm against the lock. The gate swung open.

“Miria!” Kylis cried. She was afraid Miria would
not hear her over the engines of the plane, now inside the enclosure. But she
cried out once more, sliding down the hill, and Miria turned.

She met Kylis between the bank and the fence, taking her
elbow to support her as she struggled for breath.

“Jason’s family,” Kylis said. “Redsun
thinks he’s just a transient but he’s not. If his people knew he
was here, they’d ransom him.” She remembered most of Jason’s
name, his family name, and told it to Miria. “Can you tell them? Just
send a message?”

Miria’s eyes widened. “Is that who he is?”

Kylis nodded.

“It will have to be done carefully, to keep his
identity a secret, but I can do that, Kylis, yes.” Then she sobered. “You’ll
be alone — “

“I’m all right alone. I’ve always been
alone before. I can protect myself, but I can’t protect Jason from the
Lizard. Will you do it? Will you promise?”