âSid, what has happened about that?' she queried. âYou've not mentioned your training or the competition recently.'
âOh, I decided to bow out, this year. It was too much work,' she replied airily.
âSid no.' eyes growing wide with dismay. âThat can't be. You were so keen ⦠the team and all â¦' With a sudden foreboding she blurted out: âIt was because of me, wasn't it?' Her brow creased. âYou should have been working out, concentrating on your program and instead, you've been chauffeuring me around and looking for a place. All things that would distract you from your goal.' Remorse cut. âDarling, I didn't want you to miss out on this.' Sid tried to speak, but she continued without pause. âYou've put so much into it and you have such a good chance of doing well.' How she regretted her not pursuing her interest. She had been thoughtless and demanding, completely forgetting the girl had her own life to lead. She bowed her head, twisting her napkin between agitated hands.
âIt's OK Babe.' Sid reached out to still the distressed movements. âI made my decision as to what I wanted to do and you were ⦠are, my priority.' She took away the shredded serviette and imprisoned her hands in both of hers. âMaybe later, sometime in the future, I'll enter for another competition.' She smiled into her eyes and gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. âThere are always new challenges coming along. Don't be down, this is our time together,' she encouraged. âWe get so little of it,' she added, trying not to sound bitter. In fact she hated any time away from Ten but ⦠the shekels had to be earned and life went on.
When they arrived at the house it was almost seven o'clock. Talking easily together over dinner, time had slipped by, but Moira and Rani didn't mind, being without plans. Moira opened up for them. Tenille felt helpless, the others busy unloading, but she couldn't ship or carry. However, bringing up their bits and pieces didn't take long.
âI'll get keys cut for you Sidonie,' Moira promised then complained: âI've not had a moment's free time these last few days.'
âThat's OK Moira,' she replied, congenially. âI only don't like having to bother you each time,' she explained.
âI'll tell you what. Take mine.' She picked up her keys from the little table by the door and began to slip two off the ring. âYou take these. I don't need them right now. Probably you would get keys cut sooner than I anyway,' she added. âI'll leave you,' bestowing a benevolent smile: âStay as long as you like.'
About to close the door, Sidonie called out to her: âWill next Saturday â our official moving day â be OK for the rent cheque?'
âNo problem. I'll get a receipt book.' Moira looked well satisfied as she went downstairs, leaving the two alone in their new home.
They took time to look around with more attention to detail. On second inspection, the apartment had more character. They would have to rectify lack of storage space, but the floors were beautiful parquetry, in excellent condition. Some interesting Dhuris, scattered about, would soften the sparseness and add warmth. Second time around, they appreciated the high ceilings and the moulding detail of the cornices and architraves, recognizing that older homes still had a style all their own. There was even a stained glass panel in the two side sashes of the bay window. With the sun in the right direction, colorful shafts of red and blue, would streak in.
Sid decided to try the bed, although it was only a mattress on a box spring. She bounced up and down; stretched out on her back and jumped again to her knees. âIt's good,' she declared: âDoesn't creak or complain. I like that.'
Ten laughed. âOh, you think sleeping is a noisy business do you?'
âI intend to give it a good workout,' she replied archly, a wily look escaping from beneath hooded lids. She reached out her hand. âCome here,' she said simply. Ten slid the crutches to the floor and sat beside her. She pulled her down and suddenly, they were in each others arms, lost in a deep kiss, oblivious to their new surroundings; bewitched by Sappho's spell, devoted to giving and receiving with a finely tuned receptiveness. At last they drew apart and Ten, taking a deep breath remarked: âYes, the bed will do very well.' She looked conspiratorial, letting a small smile play about the corners of her mouth. Sid sat up, drawing Ten with her. She said, full of enthusiasm: âIt's not late. Let's shoot over to your place. We'll do some more packing for you. Oh yes,' she added as an afterthought, images flashing through her brain at a great rate: âWe should make a list of the things we need.'
âI think we've probably packed enough for today, Honey,' Ten temporised. âBut let's go back and I can make us drinks while we plan.' She gathered up her crutches and tucked one under each arm. It felt strange to Sid to be locking the door behind her, knowing her belongings were there and she'd not be in contact with them until week's end.
It was actually later than she'd thought. There was only time to have coffee and make a few jottings. âI don't want you cracking up on me,' Ten scolded, trying to look stern, with a fierce frown on her face. It didn't come off.
âI won't,' was the calm reply. âI know how to catch up on my sleep.'
âYes,' she agreed, âbut that's when I'm not around. Otherwise you make the drive downtown and get involved in other things such â¦'
âSpeaking of other things â¦' she interrupted, as she put an arm around Ten's waist, â â¦what do you think of this idea?' She'd pulled her down onto her lap, since there was only the one easy chair.
âWhat idea's that?' as she nestled in more snugly.
âWell, my Sweetness, we neither of us has loads to pack, so we can spare one evening to take in a movie, eh?'
âOh yes,' she responded, full of excitement.
âI noticed that the UPTOWN is re-showing, âSalmonberries'. Now I missed it when it first came out. Did you get to see it?'
âNo, I didn't. I don't even recognize the title,' she admitted.
âWell, it's k.d.'s movie,' she explained. âI've heard the gang talk about it. Some thought it absolutely great, others were disappointed.' She looked at Ten and gave the soft part of her ear lobe a gentle nibble. âI'd rather like to judge for myself,' she declared, settling back to regard her intently. She was the most fortunate girl alive. To have found someone to love so totally. She had given her heart to this woman and she had absolute, but absolute confidence, she would never be betrayed. Would never have cause to regret this final submission; her complete capitulation to another. In the past she had kept something back, her reservation, to a greater or lesser degree, depending on the person. Even with Karen. She knew it had been hurtful. But if it wasn't there then she couldn't pretend. With Ten it felt so right, so perfect.
Ten was looking speculatively back. âYou were miles away, Honey,' she said. âWhere did you go?'
She laughed. âI'm here, Babe. What do you think? We could catch the early show Tuesday, which is half price and then go somewhere for dinner afterwards.' She gave Ten's ear another nibble as if to start eating her, but she twisted her head around and laughing, began a similar activity in retaliation.
âSounds like a great idea,' she agreed. âJust think, now I'm back in town we'll be able to do lots of things together. Do you like Art Galleries?' Suddenly she realized she knew little of Sid's tastes and interests. They had only talked of more personal and/or pressing issues. At last they could begin to get to know each other fully. She loved sharing and to have someone as wonderful as Sid to share with ⦠life was joyful. Artistic things delighted her, be they paintings, jewelry, clothes or sculptures, but they had to be small. Having scant ability with her own hands, she admired and appreciated the products of other people's. Women's ceramics really appealed, managing as they did to blend texture and color with such novelty.
âWell,' Sid responded hesitantly: âI have to admit I've not had much experience in that line. I guess I've always been too busy with sports and that kind of stuff,' she ended vaguely, feeling somehow she'd let her down. âBut I'm always willing to try something new, especially if it's something you enjoy.' This sounded more positive; she gave her an extra hug.
âWell, we'll see. If something catches my eye that looks good, then we might go along,' Ten amended, not wanting her to feel obligated.
âOK Babe.' She gave her ass a little pat. I'd better make tracks. Now, you're all organized for tomorrow. Mrs. S. has set up enough provisions for you and I can pick up anything else you need on my way in. I'll phone you after work to check it out.'
Ten laid her cheek against the top of Sid's head. âDon't fuss Honey, I'll be fine. Just call me when you can and I'll see you when I see you.' She got up and Sid handed her her crutches. They moved over to the door where she kissed her tenderly on the lips and smiled into her eyes. âGo safely Sid, and I'll be here when you call.' She clung to her, not wanting to let go. Sid felt the reluctance, but what could she do?
âBye. I'll let myself out.'
She was gone and she was alone again, but this time there was no desolation. Only one sleep and Sid would be back by her side. She got herself ready for bed and soon was dreaming blissfully.
CHAPTER 13
Tenille awoke to the jangling of the telephone and looked across at her clock. So early on Monday morning. Mrs. Sandrelli didn't usually get calls at this time. Following these musings there was a brief knock at the door.
âTenille. Can you take the phone, or should I take a message?' Serafina's voice came clearly through the particleboard.
âWho is it, Mrs. Sandrelli?' she called out, sitting up and reaching for her robe.
âThea Phillips. She says she can call back.'
âNo, it's okay. Ask her to hold please. I'll be right there.' Tenille's voice was breathless as she tried to hurry, getting herself organized with the crutches.
âDamn things,' she complained, truly out of breath by the time she finally made it to the phone.
âHi Thea. Sorry to keep you waiting,' she apologized, speculation rife.
âNo, I'm sorry,' Thea amended. âI'm only âphoning so early âcause I wanted to catch you before you might go out, or Sid was there.'
âOh.' she exclaimed, quite taken aback. âIs there a problem?'
âNo ⦠no nothing like that. I just wondered if it would be all right with you if I arranged a surprise party?'
âA surprise party?' she queried, completely surprised herself.
âYes. It's Sid's birthday, Saturday.'
Tenille was stricken. They'd never gotten around to discussing birthdays. âThea, it would have been dreadful had I missed this. Thank goodness you phoned. How old will she be?'
âNineteen.' She paused. âNow I'm not wanting to take over your lives, you understand me. It's just that's the day of your move and I thought you might be too tired to do much about it,' she explained.
âYes you're right. I think you have a great idea too. Tell me, does she like surprises like this?'
âShe does indeed.' Although Tenille couldn't see her, Thea was nodding her head emphatically. âShe'll find any excuse for a party. Well, since this is okay with you, what I need you to do is somehow arrange it that you go out Saturday night for dinner, or whatever. Then tell her you have to pick up something from me. Do you think you could swing it?' She knew she was asking a lot. âSid's not an easy person to manage, but you could probably cajole her if anyone can.'
âMm..m. Don't know,' she was dubious. âI'll give it the old college try. I should be able to come up with something; I don't want to be the one to ruin the surprise, do I?' She thought some more. âI'll not be able to get her to dress up. She just might want to stay in her old duds.'
âDon't worry about that, everyone'll be casual anyway. It's so hot these nights,' Thea reassured her.
âWhat time do you want us to show up?'
âDefinitely not before nine.' Thea was adamant. âI'll try to get the women here by about eight to eight-thirty, but you know lesbian time ⦠usually running half an hour behind.' She gave a little chuckle, then continued. âThis is really okay with you, Ten?'
âYes, cool. I love the idea and if Sid is going to be happy over it, it will be a great night,' she responded effusively.
Reassured, Thea asked if she could help in any way with the move.
âThanks Thea. I'm really quite organized.' She hesitated a beat then continued. âI would like to ask a favor of you, though.'
âName it and claim it.'
âWell ⦠I need to get out to shop for Sid's gift and card. I've been depending on her for mobility, but this time of course, I can't.' She hated to impose, but she could see no other solution to her dilemma.
âYes, I understand. That's no problem.' Ready to tackle any situation head on, Thea moved right in to the logistics. âWhat time will Sid be by tomorrow?'
âWe've not made a plan, but she tends to get over here by about two.'
âGreat,' Thea, was pleased. âThat'll give us lots of time. I'll arrange for a half workday tomorrow and we'll shop in the morning. I'll pick you up about nine, get you back say twelveish.
Ca marche
?'
âWonderful. You're such a good friend.' Tenille was relieved.
âCool. Well, that's settled.' She was about to hang up when she realized she didn't know the address. Tenille told her and they said their goodbyes.
Returning to her room, Tenille's thoughts prowled restlessly over what she could choose for Sidonie. It would have to be something special. It couldn't be expensive, but something tailor-made. She would have to think hard.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
âYes, it's still showing,' Sidonie called out to Tenille who was finishing up the last dishes and hopping along the counter as she wiped up.
âYou put your foot down just then, I saw you.' She accompanied her reprimand with a stern look and wagging finger.
âOnly lightly on my toe,' she defended herself hastily.
âYou're still NWB, so lightly on the toe's not on.' She'd not give in.
âOh, that reminds me â my next Doctor's appointment is Thursday. They're going to change the cast and bring my foot up a bit.' She returned from the kitchen and lowered herself into the easy chair, putting her leg up on the bed..
âWell, you don't want to ruin the healing process, do you?' she admonished.
âNo, I don't,' she agreed, âbut when I feel so good in myself, it's hard to have to go slowly,' the complaint accompanied by a grimace.
âI know, Sunbeam, but these things take time. You just can't hurry them. Anyway, going to the movies will take your mind off all of that.' She looked at her with that easy grin and she noticed how it lifted one corner of her mouth.
Sidonie had been stretched out on the bed and was checking the current movie listings in the local paper. Showered and changed into a fresh white T-shirt parading the Blue Jays logo, she had teamed it with her favorite khaki aggie-baggies and thick white socks with desert boots, making her legs look strong and muscular. Tenille liked what she saw, her face showing it in her eyes.
SALMOMBERRIES was still on, but at the Crest, not the Uptown. Sidonie was going to take them to the four o'clock screening. The pungent aroma of Viennese beans filled the air and they were enjoying a light lunch. She had stopped on her way over to buy fresh rolls and Tenille had made a large pasta salad. It was fun, going off for the afternoon with dinner to follow. A little after three o'clock, Tenille appeared all set to go crutches in place, her light summer purse slung crosswise. She had selected a sleeveless linen top with a tailored collar in pale rust. The shorts were also tailored linen, but in a pale beige.
âThat's it, Sid I'm ready,' she announced.
âGood,' she jumped up and bounded over to her side. âA kiss before we face the world,' she demanded. She turned her head and Sid's eyes zeroed in on a mouth, offered with trusting eagerness, as she closed her eyes.
The weather was hot, hazy and humid, with a slight musty odor in the air. They had sweaters for the theatre knowing how fierce the air conditioning could be. Although arriving in good time, a crowd had already gathered, waiting for the doors to open. Tickets in hand, they made their way to the coffee lounge to order chilled, strawberry milk shakes and with satisfaction they looked about, studying posters of the forthcoming attractions. One particular movie caught their eye: a new screening of the old western classic THE SEARCHERS. Apparently the quality of the acetate had been restored to its original condition, presenting as clear a picture now as it had all those years ago. This movie theatre specialized in unusual showings. It was an âindependent', not part of the commercial chain. It had been a sad day, Sidonie observed, when Canada agreed to the system whereby big American production studios also owned the theatres. âYet again another example of how Canada has become yoked to the âAmerican Way'.' Tenille nodded. âIndependents struggle to keep afloat, but fortunately,' she added positively, âthere are enough discerning movie buffs in Toronto to keep a few going.'
Tenille wistfully recalled her visit to the Roxy, with Ingrid and Wendy to see BLOOD WEDDING. How long ago it seemed now. She'd not thought of her dancing for a while. Sidonie, catching the look in her eyes of things unspoken, asked if there was anything wrong. âYou look doleful,' she observed and reached out her hand. Immediately Tenille brought herself back from that dark sea..
âNo, Honey. Not at all,' pulling a grinning face to show that all was well.
âGood,' grinning too. âWe should go buy our movie supplies,' she suggested, collecting up their cartons to drop in the garbage bin.
âMovie supplies.' she asked, taken by surprise. âWhat supplies do we need?'
âWell â¦' stopping in her tracks: âHot buttered popcorn: maybe a candy bar: usually a coke, but we had the milk shake first. What do you like?'
Tenille joined her, laughing. âI don't take in anything. I thought that was just for kids.'
She stared horrified, bright specks of pale green floating in azure depths. âJust for kids. This is part of the movie viewing ritual. You at least have to have popcorn,' she stated emphatically.
âAll right, all right. I'll have popcorn,' she conceded, her smile pure sunshine.
They settled into their seats, Sidonie liking to be fairly near the back, but not the last row itself; too much action off screen for her liking. Once the lights dimmed she reached out her hand. They sat close, to enjoy the unfolding of this unusual tale. As the movie proceeded there were the odd bursts of embarrassed laughter as people watched the two women together. As far as Sidonie could observe however, no one walked out. Not like when she'd been to see DESERT HEARTS. Of course, that had been the first of the lesbian movies for popular consumption with intense âhype' preceding it. Why people should have been so indignant she couldn't fathom. She'd just been a young teenager when she saw it for the first time. As she recalled the sex scenes had shown nothing below the waist, but they'd been talked up as being explicit. Most of what people thought about the sex must have been in their head, she reckoned.
Once more in the light of day, she asked Tenille her opinion of the movie. They were at the intersection, waiting for the lights. She was slow to answer as she looked about at the people swirling past, hurrying along in the rush of life.
âI'm not sure,' she demurred. âI liked the beginning, not the end. I wanted more for the young character, I guess.'
âYeah, me too,' she agreed. âI don't think I've seen a lesbian movie yet where the ending was: âand they lived happily ever after.' Perhaps GREEN FRIED TOMATOES, she thought, but there the women's relationship was not acknowledged. Oh, she shouldn't forget BOUND. It was after seeing that, she'd gotten her tattoo. âQuick Ten, let's establish ourselves.'
They walked up to the car, parked only a short distance away. She revved up. âKnow where you want to eat?'
âNot really. You know I'm happy to leave it up to you.'
âOK Babe. I've heard from Skye that Rogues, at St. Clair and Yonge is really good. How about I drive down and we check it out?'
âSounds good to me. After all that emotional turmoil we've watched, I think we deserve a satisfying meal.'
âYou got it,' she assured her, as she eased out into the traffic. Right at the lights, they headed south on Yonge. Progress was slow; too many people going downtown for the evening. Parking at St. Clair would be a nightmare. She decided to pay the price for a public park. Easy access and proximity would be well worth the cost. Tenille noticed they were not far from Devon's apartment block.
Neither had been to Rogues before and it was better than Skye had described. Although busy, they'd received prompt attention and now sat nursing drinks, not minding the wait. When it came time to order, Tenille selected from the seafood section, her fancy taken by the offering of
Saumon Frit à la Japonaise
. The salmon steaks were deep fried in fresh breadcrumbs and garnished with
hajikami
, the menu explaining these to be pickled ginger sprouts. The accompanying vegetable was a baked potato drizzled in
Mayonnaise aux Ciboules
; a scallion mayonnaise concocted on the premises using Dijon mustard.
Sidonie's taste was more plebeian. She took a long time to get herself through the menu, but eventually settled on
Carré d'agneau Persille
. She liked rack of lamb and the
Tomates Grilles à la Provençale
featured garlic and rosemary. Secretly she hoped they wouldn't destroy her breath, but they were two of her most favorite seasonings.
The ambiance of Rogues was very much to their liking. Soft pastel colors at the blue end of the spectrum: chrome rails and chairs; pictures of theatre stars from the thirties and forties in black frames on the walls. Indirect lighting enhanced the air of sophistication, but individual table candles kept the atmosphere intimate.
An interesting ethnic mix of diners surrounded them. Whether Chinese, Hungarian or whatever, it seemed all enjoyed French cuisine. Sidonie loved this aspect of Toronto; its diverse cultures made for a fascinating diffusion. Not only was this reflected in the variety of restaurants, but also in the building styles, such as Mosques and Temples. Not least of her pleasures was the strength of the gay community here. She didn't think she would like to live anywhere else, but then, she'd never tried. Be that as it may, she loved who she was and where she was; right now she would not change places with anyone, even if paid.
But for being on crutches, Tenille believed she had never experienced a more perfect day. Loving with every beat of her heart; being at Sidonie's side; delight was etched into her face and her cup brimmed over.
Sidonie deposited her safely back at the apartment, but wouldn't come in. âYou know I'll only want to stay and I can't do that.'