Pandora's Box (24 page)

They pressed their bodies together, making fierce, passionate love to one another, in a rough, yet sensual rhythm until she arched upward and he pressed down heavier and deeper. Their world crashed around them, dissolving the two of them in the pure essence of love.

Chapter 13

Friday, October 15
^th
, 2010.

12.21 p.m.

Alistair couldn’t believe it when, after the film ended, Sophia ordered him around wearing only his black boxers and an apron she teasingly put on him, while she washed the dishes wrapped up in a blanket from the TV room. She finished before him, and with her hands on her hips, a grin graced her face as she watched that hunk of a man roaming their kitchen with ease.

 They took a shower together, and snuggled under the covers, sharing the things that happened during the days they were away from each other.

Eventually, they fell silent with Alistair’s fingers toying with her hair.

She yawed and asked, “So, what was the real excuse behind that alleged
homework
?”

Excuse?
“What?”

“You said that you were supposed to see the film as therapy homework. I can see why now. It’s quite hot for a film,” she said, “but for a relationship it’s so debased and sick that it should never be filmed as it was and the story should stay in Pandora’s box buried in some ancient Greek temple, never to be unleashed on mankind. Or
womankind
. These stimuli only churn the collective imagination without pointing out the consequences.”

I don’t understand you.
“Sex is like eating. They are both necessary to live. She was bored with her life and wanted something different. It got out of hand.”

“I didn’t know we were going to see
9 and ½ Weeks
. To say it
got out of hand
is the understatement of the century.”

You didn’t like it? It’s hot.
He shrugged, not understanding her point of view. “It shows how a casual sexual relationship with someone you don’t know can get complicated. In the end, he was the one hurt.”

What?!
“That’s not the true story. The film doesn’t cover the forbidden territory.”

“True story?”
Forbidden territory?

She sat on the bed. “Liz, or Elizabeth, is the pseudonym used by a well-known New York executive and writer. She tells her story with a man, referred to in the book only as
he.
He
pushes all her boundaries, psychologically manipulates and sexually abuses her.
He
places and takes out her tampons.
He
washes and feeds her.
He
beats her with a belt.
He
has her anally.
He
never cared for her comfort, pleasure
or
pain.”

As she continued to tell him the story, she opened her drawer and took out a very thin gray-blueish book.

He sat too, astonished to see the book in her hands. “Are you saying that she didn’t like—”

“No, I’m not saying that she didn’t like it. She wrote that she
loved
it, and never explained why. But she shows us the intensifying debasement of her individuality, of her identity and her
self
, as it’s overwhelmed by her own desire and
his
increasingly abusive and pathological whims.” She waved the book in the air and put it on his lap. “What I’m saying is that it was much more abusive and it didn’t end the way the film shows. She had such a brutal emotional breakdown that she cried for more than a day, uninterrupted, supposedly without reason, until
he
dropped her off at a hospital and
he
never contacted her anymore. And, Alistair Connor, after more than six months in a psychiatric ward, she ends the book saying that even though she managed to establish other relationships, she was never again the same sane woman. She couldn’t even understand her own state of mind, and thought it unthinkable it was she who lived through all that.”

He looked down at the book cover and it showed a pair of feminine hands tied with a black scarf.

“
He
was a wealthy, extremely handsome and sinister sociopath who only cared about one thing:
his
kinky pleasure. Why Dr. Volk wanted you to see the film with your wife, baffles me.”

How could I know it was so different?
“Err… He told me to read the book so we can discuss it in our next session.” His brow creased in thought. “But why did
you
read it?”

“I normally read the book before I see the film. You’ve been tempting me with it for months.” She scooted closer to him on her knees and framed his face with a hand. “Now. Why did Dr. Volk want you to read the book? What have you done for him to propose such an assignment?”

Alistair kissed her palm.
Cautious and steady, Alistair Connor.
Studying her face, he tried to explain the whole situation, showing his feelings, but keeping out the action. “It was about… Have you ever wanted to hurt somebody so badly that it sickened you?”

Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
Have you forgotten?
“Yes. I ordered twelve fingers cut off. But really? I wanted all the men dead, after being tortured for as many days as they had tortured Gabriel, preferably.”

There was a long silence as Sophia toyed with the tips of his long hair, seeing his chest expand and deflate. Her hand ran over his shoulder and pectoral to stop over his unevenly beating heart. When she raised her eyes to him, she saw that he was watching her closely.

Alistair had so much locked inside that he felt compelled to confess and share the burden. “I went to Emma’s apartment.”

Startled, Sophia didn’t speak, waiting for the whole story to come out.

“I know she is the one who sent the messages, though she didn’t say it.”
And Baptist couldn’t confirm it.
Alistair looked very seriously at her. “I wanted to make it clear that I wanted her to keep away from you. You
and
Gabriela. But— Well, she tried to seduce me and I did something I’m very ashamed of, Sophia.”

Suddenly, it seemed the oxygen had been pumped out of the room.
Oh, good God. Please, don’t let it be what I’m thinking.

“I wanted to make her suffer, I wanted to beat her, to hurt her so badly... In the end, I left her chained to the floor.”

Sophia felt forlorn and relieved at the same time. Her dear husband, the man she was considering letting adopt her daughter and was lying intimately with her in bed, left a woman chained to the floor.
And who am I to judge?

She imagined the scene, absorbing his words. She knew victims of all kinds of abuse, and knew that some found it erotic but she didn’t find it erotic in the slightest.

“Say something,” he whispered.

The tricky thing about abusive relationships is that even the ones involved don’t realize how damaging they are.
She couldn’t let this story slide just because Alistair was trying to protect her. She smoothed the sheets, not caring about Emma but trying to understand why he had done it.

“Sophia, please?”

She exhaled sharply and looked at him. “Was that all?”

All?!
“If you are asking if I touched her sexually, the answer is, no, I did not. She disgusted me,” he said tonelessly.

“Do you know you could have been arrested for such an act? Do you know that keeping women or men as sex slaves, even if they want it, is a crime and is considered a psychiatric disease?”

His answer came out in a whisper, “Yes.”

Minutes ticked by as Sophia mulled over what to say. “Every day women, men, and children are brainwashed and abused like you were. Children are groomed and adults made to believe that their abuser, or captors, are the only people they can trust or they have to be afraid of. Some are so afraid of their abusers that they won’t speak to the police, or a therapist, and spend months in a psychiatric ward. Like Elizabeth and so many others. It’s tragically under-reported.”

Alistair’s heart beat painfully as he wondered if she was seeing him as a monster. By the look on her face, he could not determine whether she was shocked or disgusted.

He whispered, “I know,
mo chridhe
.”
Only the possibility of losing you made me see it.

“I’m trying hard not to judge her—”
Or you.
“Let me put it this way: I don’t care about Emma. I care about you. For most people who engage in BDSM, just mild or symbolic pain is often the goal and the activities generally aren’t violent or dangerous. Emma wanted extreme BDSM sex. And you left her chained to the floor. This is not kinky play. Neither erotic or pleasurable.”
Sophia was stunned by the episode. “What did you do afterwards?”

“I called a
friend
of hers to take care of the
situation.
” He laughed bitterly.
Tell her about your feelings, not your acts.
“When you came down to call me for breakfast with you and Gabriela, I was feeling dirty. And yet, there you stood, clean and fresh, knowing there was something very wrong in me. It just made me feel worse, totally undeserving of you.”

“Oh, Alistair Connor.” She couldn’t imagine how devastated he was. “What I don’t understand is, why did you do it? I mean, in the end, in my opinion, you submitted to her. And why do you keep returning?” She linked her hands to stop them trembling. “You promised me you’d keep away from her.”

“I had warned her to keep away from you. She didn’t.” He blew a hushed sigh and his hand covered hers. “Emma and Heather never thought of their acts’ consequences. I had to threaten her with the only thing she understands: money. I was afraid she would try to harm you again. That’s why I went to Scotland. I needed to think over the many different emotions inside me. I kept dancing around my true feelings because I wasn’t sure of your reaction. I didn’t want to omit it, but to tell it in the right way. Anyway, I realized that there is just one way; to tell the truth from the very beginning, to trust and open up my feelings, whatever they are to you.”

Oh, my love.
She turned to him and her fingers combed his bangs from his forehead. “I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know. You’ve taught me to trust and open up.”

“Me?”

Her surprised face made him ask, “Don’t you remember? When you denied my wish to beat you with a crop? That you had to respect yourself first? That if you fulfilled my whims and pleasured me, in detriment of your own feelings, you would hate yourself the next day? And you made me climax barely touching my body?”

Her surprise turned into amusement. “Alistair Connor. Don’t be naïve. Do you really think I could have taught you that in an hour or so? And with a single sentence? With just one experience?” She shook her head. “No. My firm position just reminded you of what you’ve known all your life. I’m sure your mother and your father taught you respect on a daily basis.”

Hmm… I guess so.
“Just for the record, as we are being very frank here, I was worried. I
am
worried, so I contacted Baptist, a detective that has worked for me before to track the number as Emma was just one of my… err...”

“Harem.”
One I don’t want to know about.

If you want to lighten things up, I’ll oblige.
His lips curled up. “Right. My harem. The fetishism of sadomasochism has made its way from the underground to the pages of high-fashion magazines. So... when I went to a bar or private club, all it took was a look, a sweet word and a drink, I could have as many as I desired. Or for two or three-thousand pounds, I could have a beautiful model for a whole night and do with her whatever was previously agreed.”

“Alistair Connor.” She shook her head at him. “You
are
very handsome. Your manly scent is wonderful. You dress very nicely. You have a magnificent body. This hair of yours... Sadomasochist or not, God, man, you are edible. It must be hard for a woman to resist you.”
I don’t want to discuss this anymore. It’s over.

Okay. So I’m forgiven and that is it?
“Do you know what I’ve discovered? I’m much more attracted to a woman who is assertive, smart and not shy about voicing her opinion. This woman tells me what she wants in bed. This woman was quite difficult to find and shackle. But when she’s happy, she makes me happy too.” He raised her wrist to kiss it under the slave bracelet, with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Was it hard for you to resist me?”

“A bit.”
Very.
“And I broke all my rules going to bed with you in the first month.”

He was going to say she was a liar but the last statement made him stop. “What do you mean? I thought a month was too much time to wait. With Gabriel and Ashford?”

Sophia laughed softly. “I almost drove Gabriel mad. I was a virgin when I married.”
I’m not telling you about Ethan!

“Nooo...” Alistair knew Gabriel had been her first. But he hadn’t known she had waited until marriage. “No way.”

“Come on. I was sixteen when I met him. Underage, a teenager. I was not even eighteen when we married, I had to be emancipated. We only really dated, under Felipe’s and my Grandma’s radar, for six months after three months of,” she made quotes in the air, “courtship.”

“Courtship?”
He laughed. “How old fashioned. But— Nothing,
nada
?”

“Oh, you know, a hand there, a kiss lower,” she blushed as she waved her hand over her breasts.
Oh, Sophia. It’s ridiculous to blush over this.

He loved her blushing over such a sweet thing. Then he frowned. “What if he was a pervert? What if he didn’t know what to do? What about the many ifs that could happen in a marriage? You were only seventeen and jumped right into marriage after knowing him for only nine months. Absurd!”

Absurd?!
“Perhaps, but let me think... I started dating at the end of February and I married in the beginning of August a man called Alistair Connor.” She frowned back at him playfully. “That’s less than six months.”