Panorama (9 page)

Josef is very fond of Ludwig of late, and Ludwig comes over a lot in order that his father has more quiet for himself, which means that Josef sees less of Bubi, who doesn’t want to come over when Ludwig is there, it being awful that time when Bubi came by once and at the door asked Anna, “Is Ludwig in there?” Anna had replied, “Come on in, Bubi, Ludwig is already with Josef inside.” Then Bubi made a terrible face and slammed the door so hard that Anna almost fainted, later telling the mother that she wasn’t going to take that from some little squirt, she simply won’t let him in the next time he comes around, and that will be easy to do, as there’s a peephole in the
door, just like at the panorama, though only one, Wenzel always being the one to install things in the apartment, and in this case he had made a little cover out of leather for the peephole which you had to push to the side when you wanted to look through and see who was outside, the parents having reminded Anna to be very careful and make sure the chain was engaged and that Anna should let in no one she didn’t know, even if he said he was collecting on behalf of the wounded or for the emperor and held some kind of list in his hand, and also if he said he was from the Red Cross, not to mention never a complete stranger, for there were so many bad people running around and taking advantage of people’s good intentions, and you hear terrible reports of attacks and of people being beaten because they were not careful enough. Josef should never open the door or even come to it, even if someone rings twice, for untrustworthy people also know how to make such a sign, and no one knows who is really standing on the steps outside. Anna has also become cautious, and she says that her life is much too precious to hand over to such a scoundrel, so she trusts no one as long as this war persists. But there’s no reason for Anna not to allow Bubi in, says the mother, and she will speak with his mother in order to make sure that such rudeness doesn’t happen again, and that Bubi apologizes to Anna for his misbehavior. To that Anna had said that she wasn’t nobility, so no one had to apologize to her, but Bubi just had to not be so fresh in the future and she would let him in. Indeed, Ludwig was pleased that Bubi had been so fresh, but only because he hadn’t been allowed in. “Bubi can be so snotty,” Ludwig says. “He thinks that he’s better than all the other kids because his father is now a first lieutenant. But he hides out by the goulash cannons, where there is no shrapnel. Bubi just marches around and won’t talk to anyone, nor does anyone want anything to do with him. He struts like a peacock.” But Josef is still very fond of Bubi, who yesterday gave him half a pomegranate, it being the first time he’d ever tasted one, at which Ludwig said, “If he had given me ten pomegranates, I would have tossed them right back. He can have them all to himself.”

One time the father says that things are bad, he doesn’t believe any longer that the emperor can win the war. “It’s all rotten through and through.” Josef then asks what will happen if the emperor loses the war. “I don’t know, son. But I’d advise you not to say a word to anyone about what
I said. Otherwise they could lock you up for treason, as well as your mother and me.” But no one at school says anything, they only collect more money for the war, and since victory is at hand and our glorious troops will soon return home in triumph we will want to welcome them in a grand fashion. The newspapers that arrive each morning also say everything is going well, all the articles talking about the victories that our brave troops have accomplished once again. Aunt Betti is thrilled that the war will soon come to an end, for then Uncle Paul will come home, as long as he is not taken prisoner at the last moment, which would of course be terrible, though she firmly believes that nothing will happen, because he writes so confidently that the outlook is good. Aunt Gusti has also taken on an extra responsibility assumed by all women of the fatherland, namely to visit the war widows, as she tries to comfort them by observing how miserable it is everywhere and how it would really be best for the war to finally be over, saying, “Better a bad end than no end at all!” Every day she runs around, and when she has no lessons she has a list of addresses to visit, and she does what she can for the widows, learning in the process how bad things really are everywhere.

At school Hugo Treml says that his father has been awarded the Signum Laudis, which is a great honor for the entire family, Josef’s mother having said so as well, for which they have a small party and drink rose-hip wine that the mother made herself, Josef also getting a small glass, the wine itself so sweet and sparkling as they toast the uncle and the emperor, convinced that victory is near, everyone proud of the uncle, Fräulein Reimann saying, “Your uncle is really something, Treml. You and all the children should follow his example. But even if you don’t have a Signum Laudis you can still be a good man and still aspire to be something. In these terrible times the children should above all be thankful and cause their parents no worry. Everyone has to use their last bit of strength and each do what he can!” Only Eiberheit laughs in response from the last bench, which makes the teacher very mad as she replies, “You should be ashamed to laugh so! If everyone was as lazy as you and did nothing, we’d have no men at all who could be decorated with the Signum Laudis. If we didn’t have such heroes, your homeland would not still be free and we’d have the Russians here. And yet they’ve been cast out, and you can go back home with Pieposberger and Flamminger, who have already left.” Eiberheit, however, is not ashamed,
though he doesn’t say another word and is completely quiet as the class looks around at him, while the next day he doesn’t come back to school, nor does he ever again, the teacher announcing one time, “Eiberheit has gone away with his mother and all his siblings without saying where to. That’s the way the Poles do it. But we don’t have to regret his departure.” Fräulein Reimann also says that the situation is serious enough that, even though Treml’s uncle had been decorated, people were going to have to store up for winter in order to make it through, each needing to help the other, the children needing to pitch in as well and not just play with their toys, for they need to be serious, because the times are so serious.

Josef now has terrible stomachaches that come on quite suddenly, at which he lies down on the sofa and holds his stomach, no one able to help him, though Anna is nice and brings him a warm compress, which she has carefully rolled up in a brown rag, so that Josef always has a compress on his stomach, though it continues to hurt. Aunt Gusti can’t believe that a stomach can hurt that much, for stomachaches are more of an annoyance than anything, but Josef doesn’t get the kind of upset stomachs that Aunt Gusti gets, his hurt lower down, the pain coming in sharp bursts, causing him to feel quite hot, and it’s no better if he closes his eyes, but he doesn’t want to keep them open, so he closes them anyway. Once a week Aunt Gusti has a migraine, for which she takes some powder that then causes her to barf, though the mother can’t stand that word and has forbidden Josef to use it, because she says it is foul and is used only by crass, vile people, even though Aunt Gusti has herself used it, and she’s not vile, only the migraines are vile. When they occur Aunt Gusti can no longer visit the war widows, but she can give lessons from her sofa, where she lies with a damp cloth that she continually freshens and places on her forehead, next to her on the floor a bucket of water into which she dips the cloth every half hour, wringing it out and laying it on her brow once again, the cool water helping a bit, though the aunt’s face remains entirely green and she looks like an old woman, her hair disheveled because she has so much hair and she has squashed it so while lying there, wearing a shabby yellow nightgown that’s seen better days, spots and stains all over it, the father not at all pleased with how the aunt lets herself go, though the mother says, “Don’t be so heartless, Oskar. One can’t help pitying Gusti. She has a heart of gold. Which is why
you just have to forgive her for not being as fussy about her appearance when she has a migraine.” But the father replies, “She’s always a slob, not just when she has a migraine.” The mother doesn’t like it at all when the father talks about his sister that way, though Aunt Betti also believes that Aunt Gusti doesn’t take good enough care and often spills something on herself, or she always eats sour pickles, which don’t sit well with her, and even though they remind her of this a hundred times over, she won’t hear anything of it, there being no help for those who won’t listen.

When Aunt Gusti is so bad off, the grandmother comes and cooks for her and helps out in the house, but even when the aunt is so ill she still gives lessons, though some children dread coming to her and want to get away as soon as they can, migraines being a terrible sickness, the aunt continuing to take medicine that helps only a little. Josef doesn’t understand how doctors are worth anything, for they can’t do anything to help most illnesses, and maybe Tata is right when she says, “Nature has its own healing ways.” Josef asks the mother why there are doctors at all if they know so little about how to heal sickness, and if perhaps a book like
The Housewife as Doctor
isn’t enough in itself, since everything is inside it, though the mother explains that medicine is actually the greatest science and art one can practice, there is not a more wonderful profession anywhere, for nowhere else can you help so many people, and without doctors things would be much worse, advances are continually being made. For example, when the mother was as old as Josef is now there was hardly any way of filling teeth, so they just had to be ripped out, which hurts a lot, and isn’t it wonderful how today you can be X-rayed if you break a foot, which was once not possible, the bones often not healing properly as a result. “Many illnesses that cannot yet be healed today will perhaps be able to be healed when you grow up and are a doctor yourself.”

But it will be a while before Josef has to decide about becoming a doctor, though this week his birthday will be on Thursday, and since there is school that afternoon the party is held off until Saturday, and for the most part is organized by Aunt Betti. Yet first thing on Thursday a birthday table is laid out with a proper birthday cake on it, a bean cake, which Anna says tastes almost like an almond cake, this one homemade and filled with real marmalade, which the father says tastes like soap, while on top of the cake is
written “For Josef,” Anna having written it with sugar, eight burning candles encircling it, since Josef is now eight, he only tasting a little bit of the cake in order that it doesn’t give him a stomachache, though he gets lots of fancy presents, the aunts and the grandmother having sent over their gifts, both toys and practical things, some books, and lots of sweet things to eat. Josef is happy, and it’s good that he doesn’t have school until the afternoon, for that allows him to play with all his presents, after which he can tell the others in the class what he got, how good his parents are, he announcing to Fräulein Reinmann, “Today’s my birthday!” The teacher laughs and says, “How wonderful. Happy birthday, and I hope that you always bring your loving parents great joy!”

All the relatives come to the children’s birthday party, except the grandmother, because she says, “I can’t stand so much ruckus. But to make up for it we’ll go to the panorama.” All the others arrive, and Aunt Betti is particularly excited, for she has arranged it all with Anna so that it will all come off well, for these days it’s very hard to have a birthday party. They all have on their best clothes, Anna having put together a white frock with some lace the mother lent her.

Aunt Gusti wants to play something on the piano and the mother wants to sing along, but first Josef has to recite a poem that Aunt Betti has written herself, which is about a special pond full of presents, each child needing to fish one out, as the poem explains:

Aunt Betti is proud of having written the poem, the father saying, as always when she writes a special birthday poem, that she has a poetic streak in her. For his grandmother’s birthday Josef has to memorize a poem, upon which he goes to her, dressed in his best suit, holding a flower in his right hand, the grandmother completely surprised as she sits at a table covered with a white cloth. The grandmother looks Josef in the eye, and as the mother gives him a sign to begin, he recites the poem, after which he gives her the bouquet, the grandmother’s face flooding with happiness as she kisses him and gives him a little something in appreciation.

But Josef must recite the poem about the magic pond because little gifts have been prepared for everyone, though they could be nicer than they actually are. Nonetheless, all the gifts are wrapped and a large loop is attached to each little packet, a fishing pole devised from a cane that is much larger than the one that Fräulein Jedlitschka used, and on the pole there is a line that doesn’t have a magnet attached to it but rather a hook that is then used to hook the loops of the little packets when anyone fishes for them, the packets piled up in a corner of the dining room, which serves as the magic pond. Anna reminisces how Angela also used to have birthday parties, and she was so pretty and all dressed up, but those were better times, the children drinking real hot chocolate with whipped cream on top, which hasn’t been available for years, since there is hardly any real milk, the father complaining that they are always thinning it with more water, such that it can’t even develop a proper skin. Meanwhile the doorbell rings, again and again, more and more children arriving who are brought along by someone, though only the children can stay, the grown-ups heading off and asking when they should pick them up, as they remind the children to behave and always say thank you, and not to cause trouble no matter what, so that they’ll be invited back again.

Anna and the mother are outside in the foyer, the chain no longer on, since so many keep arriving and the children able to be heard as they come up the steps, as Anna opens the door before they even ring, and the children are led into the living room, all of them dressed up in their good clothes. Bubi and Kitti are there, as well as Ludwig, and though they act as if they don’t know each other, they don’t make a fuss, many other children also there whom Josef has played with in the park, a number of them having a younger brother or sister who is very small and hardly talks at all, Ernst with the long hair also there, and classmates such as Hugo Treml, though there are also other children Josef doesn’t know at all, or just barely, they being not from his school or from the park but belonging to friends of his aunts. These children are very well-mannered and don’t speak to anyone unless a grown-up asks them something, Paul Wetzler being such a child, who belongs to a friend of Aunt Gusti’s, though Josef had visited him once and still recalled the birthday party they had put on, the Wetzlers being very rich. They had a real magician, who stood on a table and did many tricks with a
watch and with cards and with a diabolo and with balls and with handkerchiefs and with eggs, though they weren’t real eggs but white stones, the magician also pulling gifts for the children out of his hat, then calling up each child and, strangely enough, presenting him with a gift, the smaller children afraid of the magician, though he said that he wouldn’t hurt them and no one should be afraid.