Paradise (30 page)

‘Hiya again,’ Sapphire said cheerfully. ‘This is the third time in the last hour that I’ve had to pee.’ She rubbed her baby bump affectionately and said, ‘Get off my bladder!’

Angel smiled. ‘I’d like to say it gets better, but it doesn’t really until you have the baby.’ She paused. ‘By the way, I meant to say earlier . . . Cal and I aren’t back together. I’m supposed to be getting married in three weeks.’

Sapphire looked awkward. ‘I’m so sorry, I just assumed when I saw you here tonight that you were. But that’s great, that you and Cal can still be friends. Not many divorced couples can do that. It took me and my ex several years and it’s still kind of weird between us.’

Angel shook her head. ‘The trouble is, I don’t want to be Cal’s friend.’

Sapphire smiled. ‘So I
was
right the first time? I don’t know you, Angel, but I know Cal and he’s a good man. He made a mistake and he’s really sorry. He’s not one of those footballers who cheat all the time and then lie. And if I were you, I would go get him. I know he loves you.’

Angel returned to the table with Sapphire’s words beating out a rhythm in her head,
Go
get
him
, drowning out the
I’m
marrying
Ethan
mantra. And so when Tony and Gemma headed back home as Tony had an early start the following day, and Cal suggested they stay for a brandy, she readily agreed.

‘You seem different tonight,’ Cal said as they sat in the bar area.

‘How do you mean?’ Angel asked, pushing back her hair, aware of Cal’s gaze on her body and liking it. She wanted him to want her again, wanted to see the desire in his eyes.

‘I don’t know how to describe it, but usually when we’re together you’re defensive. It’s like you’ve built this high wall round yourself and I can’t get through. But tonight you seem . . . open.’

Angel took a sip of brandy. She suddenly felt on high alert, all her senses tuned to Cal.

‘It’s how I feel.’

They took another sip of their drinks then he said softly, ‘What are we doing, being apart?’

‘I don’t know.’

He put his glass on the table and moved closer. Close enough to kiss her. He was looking into her eyes and she was the one who kissed him first. The feel of his lips on hers, the taste of him, felt so right, felt so good. They were meant to be together. He kissed her back . . . an
intoxicating, passionate kiss that made them both forget where they were. Cal was the first to pull back.

‘Come back to mine.’

Angel didn’t hesitate as she replied, ‘Yes.’

As soon as Cal had closed the door to his apartment they fell into each other’s arms, kissing with a feverish intensity. And then Cal picked her up and carried her into his bedroom, and they were frantically pulling off each other’s clothes. And Cal was kissing her breasts, sliding his hand between her legs and caressing her so she melted at his touch, and she was pulling off his tee-shirt, unfastening his jeans feverishly to free his hard cock, which she longed to feel inside her.

‘Oh, God, Angel, I want you,’ he groaned as she rubbed herself against him. He pushed her back and kissed her entire body, ending up between her legs, kissing and licking her until she came in delicious, exquisite waves that pulsed through her body. And she was still riding those exquisite waves of pleasure when Cal guided his cock inside her and then they were fucking, a deep, intense fuck, Angel arching her body towards his as he drove into her, and it had never felt so good. All she could think was that she wanted him like never before. She didn’t think of Ethan, didn’t think of anything except how much she wanted Cal. For that moment nothing existed except their desire for each other.

As they lay in each other’s arms afterwards Angel could hardly believe that she and Cal had ever been apart. She kissed his neck, his lips, traced her fingers over his face, kissed his angel-wing tattoo. She had been apart from him for too long; they belonged together. When she was with him everything made sense. And then Cal said the words she’d longed to hear him say again: ‘
I love you, Angel. I always have, always will.’

‘I love you too,’ she replied. ‘I never stopped. I was just too hurt and too scared to admit it.’

Cal held her closer to him. ‘I will never hurt you again, I swear.’ He gazed at her, and his eyes were so full of love and hope. ‘We’re going to be together again.’ But even as he said it Angel felt a wave of guilt.

‘Oh, God, Cal, what am I going to do about Ethan and the wedding? I don’t want to hurt him.’

‘You’ll have to see him and tell him it’s over, there’s no other way. But it’ll be okay, I promise.’

Angel laid her head on his chest, so she could hear his heart beating. Cal was right, it would be okay. It would be horrible having to tell Ethan, but it would be for the best.

UNTIL ANGEL HAD
broken it to Ethan that their relationship was over, she and Cal had decided to keep news of their reunion a secret from friends and family. It didn’t seem right telling anyone else until she had told Ethan; he deserved that at least. Madeleine was still away in New York, and Cal planned to end it with her as soon as she returned the following week.

The secrecy gave Angel’s relationship with Cal an added intensity. It was as if they were new lovers again, snatching time together whenever they could, hating every second of being apart from each other, and as soon as they were alone they inevitably ended up in bed, making up for all the time they had been apart. Frank had been discharged from hospital and was getting stronger by the day. Angel was to fly back to LA at the end of the week, then she would return with Honey and move into Cal’s penthouse until they could return to their old family house just outside Brighton.

They had it all mapped out and Angel could hardly contain her excitement, though every time she thought of telling Ethan she felt sick with guilt and apprehension. He had already asked if there was something wrong during one of their phone calls, saying that she seemed distant. Angel felt such a liar when she claimed
it was just because of the situation with her dad. She was very tempted to tell him the truth then and get it over with, but knew she had to tell him face to face. She owed him that.

‘Are you hungry?’ Cal asked her when Angel let herself into his flat on her last evening in Brighton; she was flying back to LA first thing in the morning. ‘I’m making risotto.’

‘Yes, I’m hungry,’ Angel told him, walking over to him and kissing him. ‘But definitely not for food,’ she murmured, coming up for air, as she slipped her hands into his jeans.

‘I’d forgotten what a bad influence you were,’ Cal murmured. ‘My risotto will be ruined.’

‘So you don’t want me to do this?’ Angel slid to her knees and unbuttoned his jeans.

‘Well, if you put it like that.’

An hour later Angel finally felt satisfied – she had sucked, licked, and kissed Cal until her lips felt numb, and they had made love with a fierce intensity, knowing that they would not see each other for at least a week, which suddenly seemed an unbearably long time. Now they were lying in bed together and Angel was gripped with nerves again about seeing Ethan; she hated knowing that she was going to hurt him so much, but there was no other way.

‘It will be okay,’ Cal told her, stroking her hair, instinctively knowing what she must be thinking about.

She sighed. ‘I really hope so. I wish I could fast-forward time. That it could all be over and Ethan would be happy with someone else, and you, me and Honey would be together.’

‘It will happen, stop worrying.’

Reluctantly Angel got up and reached for her clothes. It was time for her to go back to her parents and pack.
She was just pulling on her jeans when the front door opened and a voice that sounded like Madeleine’s, called out, ‘Cal, are you there?’

‘What the fuck!’ he exclaimed. ‘I didn’t think she was due back . . . just give me a minute to talk to her before you come out.’ He quickly pulled on his tee-shirt and jeans and headed for the living room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Angel rolled her eyes and sat back on the bed. Like she needed this right now! Why did she and Cal have to have such complicated lives? She expected he would break the news quickly to Madeleine and then she would leave, but some twenty minutes later Angel was still sitting on the bed and there was no sign of Cal. She tiptoed over to the bedroom door and listened but could hear nothing. Cautiously she opened the door, wanting to find out what was going on. What she heard completely stunned her.

‘So obviously my parents would like me to have the baby back home in Lyon but I’m thinking London. The Portland would suit me much better.’

Madeleine was pregnant!

‘Well, there’s plenty of time to decide,’ Angel heard Cal reply. ‘You’re only ten weeks.’

‘And I was thinking about the wedding . . . should it be before or after the baby? I mean, hopefully I won’t show for at least five months . . . but then, it takes longer than five months to plan a wedding, doesn’t it?’

So they were engaged! Madeleine clearly had no idea that Cal was supposed to be leaving her to be with Angel. ‘Supposed’ being the word. Angel waited for him to say that there wasn’t going to be a wedding but he replied, ‘I don’t know right now. I’m still taking in the news about you being pregnant.’

Suddenly Angel was seized with the most agonising thought; maybe Cal had no intention of leaving
Madeleine now that she was pregnant. She wanted to go out and confront him, but was held back by the thought of Madeleine. She just couldn’t do that to another woman, however much she loved Cal. She heard Madeleine say that she was starving and could they go and eat, and then the two of them were leaving the flat. Angel grabbed her jacket and bag, and stormed into the living room. What the fuck was going on? At that moment, Cal let himself back into the flat.

‘I had no idea about the baby,’ he told Angel, walking swiftly towards her. He looked serious.

‘And you’re engaged?’ She was once again full of all the insecurities and doubts about Cal that had haunted her since his infidelity. How could she ever trust him again?

‘I only got engaged when I found out you were determined to marry Ethan.’ He sighed. ‘I couldn’t deal with it. I’d waited for you for so long.’

‘But I thought you said you wanted to be with me?’ Angel said passionately.

‘And I
do
want to be with you. I love you . . . I’ve loved you all this time . . . but how can I leave Madeleine now? She’s only just found out she’s pregnant.’

Cal had an expression of pure anguish on his face, but Angel could feel herself withdrawing from him again, her barriers going up.

‘So when are you going to tell her? After she’s had the baby?’ She could feel herself withdrawing from him once more. She couldn’t believe that he hadn’t told her about the engagement.

‘Christ, I don’t know! I’m as shocked as you are. But I can’t just dump her. Surely you can see that?’

Angel shook her head. ‘No, I don’t see it. All I can see is that you didn’t tell me the truth about your relationship with her. It’s sort of a pattern with you, isn’t it?’

Cal groaned, ‘No, please, Angel, this has nothing to
do with the past. Just let me sort it out in my own time. I’m going to have to go.’ He put his arms round her and hugged her, but Angel couldn’t bring herself to hug him back, she was too shocked. ‘I love you. Call me as soon as you get back to LA,’ he told her as he headed for the door. ‘It will be okay, I promise.’

Angel just looked at him; to her the words sounded unbearably hollow. She knew Cal so well; knew how hard he would find it to leave Madeleine now she was carrying his baby. He had been abandoned by his own father when he was just three years old. Had always vowed that he would never do that to a child of his own.

Angel nearly cried when Ethan and Honey came to meet her at the airport. While it was wonderful being reunited with her daughter again, she felt such a confused mix of emotions as Ethan embraced her. She knew she loved him, knew that he wanted to be with her, and if it wasn’t for Cal she could be perfectly happy with him. She didn’t know what to do any more. Everything had seemed so clear while she was with Cal, before the bombshell news about Madeleine’s pregnancy. Angel had checked her phone as soon as she had landed, hoping for a message from Cal letting her know that he had told Madeleine, but there was none. Now everything seemed so uncertain. Ethan was as loving to her as ever, and somehow that made her feel even worse. He and Honey had made a ‘Welcome Home, Mummy’ banner – well, Honey’s contribution was some scribbles in purple but the thought was there – and Angel was very touched when she saw it hanging on the front door.

‘We’ve had a good two weeks, haven’t we, Honey-Bunny?’ Ethan said to the little girl as they all went into the house. ‘I feel we’ve really got close. Give me five,
Honey!’ And Angel watched as her daughter solemnly held up her hand. If she married Ethan then no one would get hurt – not Ethan, not Madeleine. If she got back with Cal, then she would be hurting both of them and taking a huge risk: trusting Cal not to betray her again. That risk had seemed worth taking before she knew about Madeleine. Now it seemed like a step in the dark.

‘I missed you so much,’ Ethan told her later as they lay in bed. ‘I guess you were too worried about your dad to think much about me.’

Angel thought of all the hours she had spent in bed with Cal and felt horribly guilty. She put her hand up to Ethan’s face. ‘Of course I missed you.’ He ducked down to kiss her, but when the kiss turned deeper and it seemed as if Ethan wanted to make love, Angel pulled away. ‘I’m sorry. Ethan, I’m exhausted. D’you mind if we don’t?’

‘Sure, I understand.’

He sounded slightly pissed off, so Angel felt compelled to add, ‘I’ll be okay tomorrow.’ She felt such a fraud. When he went to the bathroom she couldn’t resist checking her phone to see if there was a message from Cal. There was none. But perhaps, Angel thought bitterly, that was the message.

She couldn’t sleep that night; it was partly because she was jetlagged, but more that she was tormented about what she should do. At 5 a.m. she thought she had decided. She would tell Ethan that she couldn’t marry him. That was surely the right thing to do, regardless of whether Cal had left Madeleine or not. She went downstairs to make herself some tea, needing some kind of comfort.