“Oh,” Mel said. “Good idea. I guess a pediatrician knows what to look for.”
Two hours and two patients later, he was still acting as if something was wrong. So she went head-on, as she was known to do. “What’s eating at you? You’re all funky and weird, like you and Abby have a problem or something.” He ducked his head. “Oh, you and Abby have a problem. What’s the matter? Can I help? Is the pregnancy all right?”
“I don’t think you can help,” he said, turning away from her and heading for the kitchen.
She followed him. “You don’t really know, though, do you? Until you run it by me?”
“It’s kind of embarrassing,” he said, not facing her.
“For God’s sake, I look at cracks and talk about sex for a living. You can’t embarrass me.”
He turned around. “I was thinking it would be embarrassing for
me.
”
“Well, get over it. I’m your midwife.”
He took a deep breath. “Abby and I are getting along very well. It’s incredible. Better than I thought it could be. We’re so compatible. And last night I slept beside her, holding her and the babies….” He dropped his chin.
“Aw,” Mel said. “That’s sweet. I’m so happy, Cam.”
“And woke up with my hand up her shirt and with the biggest hard-on.”
Mel looked momentarily perplexed. “I’m sorry. Did I need to know that?”
“I can’t believe how much just being near her is getting to me. I can’t let her think that—I mean, I let her think it would be completely safe for me to just lie beside her and…Aw, Christ. I have no control at all. What a damn mess.”
“Cameron, take it easy. Most of that’s just nature. Huh? It happens all night long. I’m sure Abby knows that.”
“It’s not just happening when I’m asleep. I really have a problem here. I’ve wanted that woman since the first second I saw her, but she’s in no condition for me to want her like that. What kind of man wants to…I mean, I won’t touch her, I swear I won’t. But if she thinks she’s not safe from my instincts, then I’ll be sent back up to the loft. And I don’t want to go back up to the loft!” He took a breath, shook his head dismally. “I should probably go back up to the loft.”
Mel’s face cracked into a huge grin. “My goodness. The Madonna syndrome?
You?
”
“What?”
“The mother of your children can’t also be a sexual human being?”
“Not if she’s ripe as a tomato! She’s thirty weeks! With twins! It would be irresponsible to—You know we don’t want a lot of action down there.”
“Cameron, surely you have a better imagination than you’re letting on. I mean, there are a few alternative methods of sharing affection that don’t involve intercourse. But of course I agree—intercourse now is probably not the best idea, even though we’re not necessarily concerned about early labor. Yet.”
“We don’t have that kind of relationship. At least, not now. We agreed to share this space so I could be there for her. So we could have them together and rely on each other. Not so we could explore alternative methods of affection, by which I’m sure you mean manual or oral.” He ran a hand over his chest as if wiping it dry. “She probably shouldn’t play around with orgasms anyway. That’s all we need is a little early labor now.”
“Hey, this is something for you to talk to her about,” Mel said. “You afraid you’ll shock her? Didn’t you get her pregnant? Isn’t she aware you have a healthy libido?”
“I’m pretty sure she has no idea how healthy. Really, I wasn’t prepared to find her sexier than ever. She can’t even get up off the couch without a hand and I’m ready to spring into action and—” He stopped himself. “Jesus.”
Mel just chuckled. “Listen, while she’s feeling big as a cow, I doubt she’d be insulted to learn she actually turns you on. Know what I mean? It might lead to some meaningful communication, which it sounds like the two of you could use.” But she couldn’t help herself. She chuckled again and put a hand over her mouth.
“You don’t have to laugh at me,” he groused.
“Aw, I think you’re cute. Talk to her. You said you’re getting close. Tell her how you’ve been feeling, et cetera. And you can also explain why it’s not an excellent idea to have a wild romp in the hay just now. But you don’t have to be embarrassed by your feelings and frankly, I don’t think a little orgasm or two would hurt. You’re not tempting fate for at least a couple more weeks. Desiring her when she’s in this phase of motherhood—that’s sweet.” She shook her head. “Jack sure didn’t have this problem. He wasn’t embarrassed by his feelings. Frustrated by them, yes. Embarrassed? Pah.”
“Maybe Jack is the guy I should be talking to….”
Mel lost every trace of humor. “Okay, I have to draw the line there. You can’t do that. Jack might say too much—he’s been known to do that once or twice. And I can’t have you conjuring up pictures of me in—” She straightened her spine. “I’m your boss, I think. I am, yes I am. You’re the doctor, but it’s my clinic. I can’t have you picturing me in compromising positions, even if they might help your pathetic sex life, because I’m your boss.”
He just grinned largely, happily. As of her last words, he didn’t need Jack’s input to drum up an image or two. Her turn to squirm. She’d certainly enjoyed his discomfort, but all he said with regards to hers was, “Why, Melinda. Hmm.”
“Is there a date set for the wedding yet?” Muriel asked Shelby.
“No, not exactly. We can’t figure out when to do it, where to do it. Luke still has two brothers in the Middle East. I think we should wait for them to get home and he thinks we’d better hurry.”
“What’s the hurry?” Muriel asked.
“We want to have a baby,” she said, smiling.
Muriel just frowned. “Shelby, you’re so young—you have lots of time. It’s not like your clock is ticking.”
“I know,” she laughed. “Luke’s clock is ticking. He’ll be thirty-nine next month. He’s afraid he’s going to be going to high-school football games with a walker.”
“Oh,” she said. “Don’t you want to have a little time with him first? Alone time? Before you add a baby to the mix?”
“I wouldn’t mind that, but I get his point. I’m just so pleased he’s going along with the family idea, I’m being cooperative.”
“And school?” Muriel asked.
“The nursing program officially starts in September, but I’m going to take classes this summer to get a head start. There will be an orientation day in June and I can take Luke with me, but I had a tour already. The students in that program are men and women, all ages, and I mean
all
ages—from eighteen to fifty. The only thing I had to work out with Luke is that he’s going to be a totally involved father and not leave it to me to manage all the child-care issues alone so I can go to school.”
“And?” Muriel asked.
Shelby laughed. “For someone who insisted marriage and family would never be in his future, he can’t wait. If it was up to Luke, we’d take off for the justice of the peace. But his mother would absolutely kill him if he did that.”
“You’d better plan enough in advance so I can make it,” Muriel warned.
“Really?” Shelby asked. “You’d come?”
“Of course I’d come. It’ll take some planning, and maybe some conniving, if I’m still on this movie when you do it.”
“Muriel, are you anxious to get back to the movie?” Vanessa asked her.
“In a way,” she said with a shrug. “Sometimes the chemistry is so good on a set, with all the people involved, that it’s like forming a family. That’s not typical. It’s like all the planets lined up—the script, the cast, the crew, the direction. And I think the fact that we’re going to Montana rather than New Delhi or Greenland gives everyone a real positive attitude. Montana in the summer—a great idea. A lot of people are bringing families.” She was quiet for a moment. “They could have filmed here,” she said as she moved her mare down the river path, right between Vanni and Shelby on their mounts. “The setting is just as good, the weather just as wonderful in summer.”
“You’re going to miss the general,” Vanessa said.
“Oh, yes,” she admitted. “I wish he’d come to Montana. At least for a visit. They rented me a small house up there.”
“Have you asked him?”
“Uh-huh. Something about that idea bothers him. He keeps saying we’ll see. Maybe it’s because I’ll be putting in long hours—I had to tell the truth about that. But really, I suspect Walt doesn’t think he can fit into my world.”
“Are you two serious?” Vanni asked. Muriel shot her a look and Vanni actually blushed. “I mean, are you…I mean, you don’t have to say anything…. I mean, I was just wondering if—Oh, hell, mind your own business, Vanessa!” she self-admonished.
“What’s serious?” Muriel asked. “Do I think he’s just about the greatest man I’ve ever met? I do. If I started to list all the things that make him wonderful, we wouldn’t have time. Are we going to get married or anything like that? No. But could this fantastic relationship we have go on for a long time? Why not?”
“I hate to put my foot in my mouth all over again, but why are you so sure you won’t get married?” Vanni asked.
“Darling, I’ve had five husbands and a number of steady guys. Why would I attempt that again? I’d like to think it was their fault, but what if I’m the one who’s not so good at it? And why would Walt take a chance on a woman who’s had five husbands and a number of steady guys? Especially when this friendship we have feels…Well, it feels perfect. I wouldn’t want to screw it up. Besides, there’s no panic—my clock isn’t ticking. Hell, I threw it against the wall years ago.”
“But aren’t you afraid of—” Vanni shut her mouth before she did it again.
“Afraid of what, darling?”
She took a deep breath. “Afraid of growing old alone?”
Muriel laughed lightly. “Oh, you’re so young. No, I’m not afraid of growing old alone. I’m afraid of growing old
trapped.
”
They were quiet for a few long seconds. Then Shelby said, “Wow. I never even thought of that.”
“Why would you? Either of you? You’re young, in love, have long, steady lives ahead. And I certainly don’t feel that ending up with a man like Walt would trap me in any way, it’s not that.” She looked steadily at Vanni, then Shelby, then ahead at the gloriously rising mountains covered with towering trees. “I don’t think I could live with myself if I trapped him. What if there was another role that intrigued me, that I wanted to try? I thought I was ready for retirement, to leave the movie business behind, but then a great role for a fifty-six-year-old woman came to me and I found it irresistible. And here I am, not wanting to pass it up, yet not wanting to leave Walt and this wonderful life behind.” She laughed. “It’s been years since I’ve faced a dilemma like this. Really, I had sworn off men.”
“I’m just guessing here,” Vanessa said. “But somehow I don’t think Daddy would feel trapped by you or your career.”
Muriel was quiet for a long time. Then she said, “I don’t know about that. He keeps asking me when the filming will be done, but he won’t even commit to a long weekend visit in Montana.” Then after another few minutes of silence, Muriel said, “I probably should have given up acting to breed horses years ago.”
It’s not as though this bothered Jack much—he saw everyone every day. Sometimes a day or two went by without his seeing one or two of the women, but the guys would always stop by for lunch or a beer or something. He was missing the old squad, though. Time for a Semper Fi reunion. He wanted the brotherhood around to bolster him. All this came to mind because he was leaving in the morning for San Diego; he was going to pick up Rick and bring him home.
Rick didn’t want the escort. He told Jack to stay home and if it wasn’t too much trouble, catch him at the bus when he got in. Like Jack was some neighbor guy he didn’t want to impose on or something. The kid was coming home after being blown up in Iraq, and Jack, who loved him as much or more than anyone, shouldn’t go to any trouble? That wasn’t how it worked. Not in his experience.
Mike walked in the back door and right behind the bar. He liked to get his own beer. He also liked to stand back there with Jack. Then, not a minute later, the sound of Paul kicking the mud off his boots on the porch could be heard, and he walked in. He sat up at the bar and tapped it twice, his signal that he was ready for a beer.
Another minute passed. Then Paul said, “Ready to go?”
Jack should have known they were there to give him a little moral support. The whole ordeal with Rick had been a load for everyone, but clearly hardest on Jack. “Yup,” Jack said. “I’ll leave at about 5:00 a.m. if I sleep in, then drive down, spend the night, scoop him up and bring him home.”
“Be good to have him home,” Mike said.
“He’s not like he was,” Jack said. “He’s got a peg leg and a giant bug up his ass.”
“None of us were like we were. For a while,” Paul said. “He’s a kid. He’ll get through it. Or we’ll get him through it.”
“Mel’s working on finding someone for him to talk to. A professional,” Jack said. “I have PT all worked out, but he needs other stuff, too.”
“Liz know he’s on the way home?” Mike asked.
“Yeah. Because I told her. Rick couldn’t be bothered to pick up the phone when she called him, or call her back. Almost two months and he didn’t take even one of her calls.” He grimaced and shook his head. “Really, I want to choke him, but I know what’s going on. And I know he can’t help it.”
“He’s screwed up,” Paul said.
“He just doesn’t know how tough it’s going to be when he’s ready to start unscrewing himself, if he keeps burning all his bridges,” Jack said. “Ask me how much I look forward to ten hours in the truck with him?”
“Maybe he’ll sleep.”
“Go easy on him, Jack. You said it yourself—it’s not like he wants to be messed up.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s just tough. I’ve always been amazed at how strong he is. Right now—his glass is
not
half-full. Know what I mean?”
“Well, everyone’s entitled to be imperfect sometimes,” Mike said.
“Yeah. It’s just that…”
“What?” Paul asked.
“It’s just that I can take about anything but self-pity. Anything. But feeling sorry for yourself is the most candy-assed thing you can cave into.”
Mike chuckled. “Because you never indulged? Oh my brother, I did some self-pity that would’ve put your head on fire. Man, I was in a hole so deep…”
“But you got out,” Jack said. “You climbed out.”
“Not when you were ready, Jack. When
I
was,” Mike said. “Go easy.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Maybe I should go,” Mike suggested. “Jack, you never really got shot up. Or blown up. Maybe I should go.”
“I’m going,” Jack said. “I’ll go easy.”