Parallel: The Secret Life of Jordan McKay (12 page)

I entered through what used to be a laundry room, back when someone other than the rugby team had lived here. There were beer cans all over the floor and a single bulb hung from the ceiling, swinging as the door hit it. Across from me was another door, and I cleared the ground enough to grab the handle and open it, running one hand through my hair as I tried my best to look somewhat presentable. This was my moment to finally meet her after all, and this time it was going to count.

I cleared my throat and entered the crowd unnoticed, finding myself at the base of the stairs for what felt like the fifth time. I looked across the room and into the living room, spotting Kenzie’s auburn hair as she danced with Garret Brown from the rugby team, or Jack, as he had so eloquently named himself. I felt my insides curdle at the sight, disgust filling my soul just knowing what he planned to do to her. I waited there for a moment, feeling exposed as I urged her to see me so that I could bait her into following me upstairs, where she could see for herself what was happening.

As I stood there, I felt my stomach turn over and I placed a cool hand on my side, the need to throw up overcoming me as she finally looked over with a look of confusion and shock. I was anxiously tapping my foot now to distract me from the sickness in my side, but it was doing little to help. When Garret turned her on the dance floor, I was quick to dodge back into the laundry room, throwing up in the giant sink, my feet crumpling the aluminum cans, sweat coating my brow. I watched as blood stained the sides of the basin, and I took a deep breath, hoping I wasn’t blowing this last chance, and praying that I could at least live long enough to get her out of here.

After a moment, my stomach settled and I stood, feeling a renewed sense of purpose and exited back out into the hall. I found Kenzie in the crowd, noticing that she already had another beer in hand. I was hoping I would be able to prevent her from being drugged, to make my job easier, but I could see God was taunting me at this point, teaching me a lesson for defying His divine plan in the first place. She took a hefty sip from her glass, and I cringed.

Moving to plan B, I found there was little I could do but draw her out of the room as I had planned, so I waited for her to notice me again. I saw her spill her drink and her laughter resonated in my heart, the sound not unlike an angel, and her voice echoing as though it was the only one in the room. She brushed the beer from her pants and then slumped against Garret, my heart leaping as her gaze lifted from the ground, locking on mine.

I quickly looked away as I saw her gasp, and I knew then that I had caught her attention; now it was a matter of reeling her in. I looked up toward the bedrooms, focusing on the task of Amy and Max, leaping up the stairs as I skipped full steps. As I reached the door, I leaned against the wall to catch my breath, my head spinning as adrenaline forced blood through my deteriorating veins. I turned my head back where I saw Kenzie breach the stairway, and we locked gazes. The look in her eyes was full of truth, the truth that she recognized me though I had tried so hard to erase it. Garret grabbed her and pressed her against the wall, and despite my attempts to remain calm, my jaw locked and I looked away in disgust, shaking the lock on the bedroom door instead.

I didn’t want to burst into the room just yet; this had to be timed perfectly if it was all going to come out the right way; me being the hero, that is, and not that asshole, Max. As I tried to ignore Kenzie and Garret, I thought about the humility of what was happening and the way this was taking me down off my pedestal of playing God. This was my fault, after all; a result of what I had changed, and that was why the guilt in me ran so deep, as though I’d committed murder, though that was the very thing I was trying to change.

After all my careful planning, Max had ended up being the wrong choice for Kenzie. I should have been able to see it, but I was so infatuated with her dreams that I didn’t recognize the signs. I looked back at the handle of the bedroom door, my patience wearing thin. I just knew that if I burst in now, Max fully clothed, he would play it off as though he’d found Amy that way and saved her. Kenzie would believe him, too, because she had seen Amy downstairs with the blonde guy, not Max, and despite the voice inside her that did not trust him, she was weak when it came to him.

I heard a commotion and looked back to where Kenzie was, seeing her shove Garret away from her, slamming him against the opposite wall. I narrowed my eyes, angry as I heard him laugh at her, his ego like that of the devil, too weak to get a girl by any other means than drugging her at a party. He grabbed her arm as though she were a bought commodity, and walked toward us and I knew that was my cue. I lunged back against the wall and kicked in the bedroom door with all the strength I could muster from my dying body, the door breaking at the hinges as splinters flew around me.

“Hey man, what’s your problem?” Garret’s voice was beside me now, and I turned to look at him, Kenzie’s head leaning against his left shoulder, her eyes heavy but open. I felt my teeth clench together and I pulled my arm back, my patience too thin to bother with negotiation. I felt the force of all my blood rush to my fist as I hit him square on the jaw, knocking him out with one blow as I tried to catch Kenzie with my free arm.

She slumped onto me, and I winced again, my side aching as though the bleeding had now breached the surface of my skin. “Hold on Kenzie,” I whispered to her, revealing for the first time the fact that I knew her.

She looked at me, but I looked into the room instead, focusing on the last thing I had to do before I could get out of here. Max was looming over Amy’s unconscious body, the look on his face making the anger in me far worse than ever before. With Kenzie at my side, I lunged at Max, throwing a punch to his face and knocking him out before grabbing Amy and dragging her from the room.

In the hall, everyone was staring at me but by this point they were all too ashamed of themselves to do anything, each filled with the guilt of what they allowed to happen in their house. There was blood everywhere, but I knew it wasn’t Kenzie’s or Amy’s, or even Max and Garret; it was mine.

I was able to get them outside where I fumbled for Amy’s keys in the pocket of Kenzie’s pants. She was unconscious now, too, making this difficult. As I finally sifted through the obscenely large collection of keys, I managed to get the car unlocked and I propped open the back door, the party roaring behind us as though nothing had happened.

I laid Amy across the backseat, covering her with a blanket that had been wadded on the floor. Luckily for me both girls were relatively thin, but their long legs were impossible to manage. Next, I opened the passenger door and placed Kenzie in the front as she moaned; her body still aware as she went through the motions of buckling in, a tremendous relief to me, as my side was now numb.

I then shut both doors just as a group of angry looking rugby players burst out the front door, drunk and looking for a fight. I walked casually to the driver’s side and got in, roaring her car to life as I jetted out of the spot and down the street. I prayed the jocks were too drunk to remember me, that this was the last time I’d have to face them. The last thing I needed right now was to be followed and beat up, especially in this condition, one kick to the side would send my organs flying.

After tonight, I knew I was stuck at age twenty-three. I sighed, finding it felt ominous, as though my life had come to a sudden halt. I shifted gears and looked at Kenzie asleep beside me as a feeling of comfort replaced my disappointment. If there was anyone I would want to spend living a normal life with, however, it would have always been her. I knew this indulgence of mine was going to be hard to break, but I was done with it. I needed to accept the natural order of life and be human for once.

I saw the dorms come into view up ahead. I had no idea what she would say when she woke and no idea what she would think of me, but I had to make the best of it. It was obvious that something had happened to her after all these years, something I had done to her, which I could not explain. I knew she would have so many questions, but I could never tell her; she never needs to know.

 

 

 

 

Statement from Dr. Ashcroft,

Vincent Memorial Hospital, Boston

August 4, 2009

02:42 a.m.

 

Agent Donnery:

He was already sick then?

 

Dr. Ashcroft:

Yes, I suppose he was, though he told me the bleeding was from a fight with the Rugby players after I had passed out. I remember what the bruise looked like. It was horrible, but he acted as though he didn’t care, as though it was nothing more than a flesh wound.

 

Agent Donnery:

I bet it hurt a lot worse than that. (pause) So he referred to his Shifting as though it were a sort of addiction, like smoking or alcohol.

 

Dr. Ashcroft:

If you knew you could go back and change things about your life, you’d be addicted, too, Agent Donnery.

 

Agent Donnery:

(laughter) Of course I would, I’d change just about everything, get a higher salary perhaps. But I’m off subject (pause). So after that night he stopped traveling, am I correct?

 

Dr. Ashcroft:

He knew something was wrong with him, and he knew he needed to take the time to heal. I can imagine it was hard for him to remain in one place as he did, in one time, but at least it was the right time and he was his true age.

 

Agent Donnery:

So he healed, and you two got to know each other more?

 

Dr. Ashcroft:

Yes, but I knew him based on lies, based on the man he claimed to be. He only let me in half way. It was so unfair that he knew everything about me and that I could talk to him about everything my life entailed, but he couldn’t. Well almost.

 

Agent Donnery:

Almost? What did you keep from him that he did not already know about? It’s important we learn all about his life.

 

Dr. Ashcroft:

It’s important for me, too, Agent. He was the man I loved, the man with a dark secret I never knew. I guess now I can see that he did know everything about me, but it was at least nice to hope I had a secret and my secret was the man in my dreams.

 

 

 

Told by Dr. Ashcroft,

Stories from the journals of Patient #32185

October 1, 2005

12:48 p.m.

 

I woke as though I had fallen on a rock, bringing my hand to my head and feeling the cold sweat that covered me. I opened my eyes as they met the familiar pattern of my dorm room sheets, and I felt relieved. It must have been just another dream. I tried to think back, tried to remember what had happened, but most of it was blurry, and I felt as though my head was not yet a part of my body.

I heard a page turn and I slowly twisted my neck to face the direction of the noise, expecting to find Amy, but my eyes instead found a man. I jumped, letting out a shrill scream as I sat up straight, covering my body with my blankets. Had I literally imagined him from my dreams to here? Or had those events in fact happened? I brought my hand to my mouth to muffle my yelp as the man looked at me with calm blue eyes, his chair situated in the middle of the room. Amy let out a snort and rolled over on her bunk, still asleep. I didn’t bother to look at Amy as my eyes stayed fixed on the man’s, too afraid that he’d disappear, or worse, kill me.

The man made no sudden movements, blinking once with a soft smile lighting across his lips. After the initial shock subsided, I continued to stare into the eyes of the man, a feeling of calm resonating from his soul, giving me the feeling that I was safe though my conscience fought to deny that.

“Who are you?” I barked. My mind began to remember the previous night as I looked at his green coat, memories and thoughts pouring through my already throbbing head like a movie in fast forward.

He placed the book on my desk, and leaned back in the chair. “Do you remember anything from last night?” His voice was melodic and soft, his lips moving with such articulation that I found myself in a trance.

I let out a sharp breath. “I…” I struggled to put the events together, remembering that I saw Max somehow, and Amy, and then him. Things were still mixing together in my head; contradicting thoughts that made me question what was real. “I’m not sure,” I finally replied.

He took a deep breath. “You were drugged at a party. So was your friend.” He pointed toward Amy over my shoulder.

Thoughts began to click into order, and I extracted those that were just a dream. “So that actually happened?” I brought my hand to my head and began to rub it, finding that looking at the man made it hurt, as though he had broken in and rearranged all the furniture.

“Yes. I found your friend here first, then you.” He searched my face as though he expected me to fill in the rest of the story.

I leaned back against the wall, my covers tucked tightly under my chin. “Yes, and Max…” I paused and he nodded as though he knew who he was beyond what had happened last night. “You know Max?” I gave him a strange look.

He quickly shook his head, “Oh no. No, I don’t know Max, but you said his name, that’s all.”

I nodded back. “Right, yes.” I felt my heart break then, realizing the gut feeling I’d always had about Max was true. He was a lying scumbag from the beginning, and I felt like a fool for playing along. I shuddered, the feeling of disgust making vomit well in my throat.

“So, I guess I should get going.” He stood. “I’d hate to see what happens when she wakes up,” he turned toward Amy, and lifted one brow in a humored fashion. “She seems feisty.”

I laughed as he forced a smile to come to my face, though my body felt weak and useless, a deep depression lingering somewhere in the distance.

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