Passions of a Gentleman (Gentlemen of Honor Book 3) (22 page)

S
imon hadn’t felt so
much unease in his entire life as he had in the last week. Considering his start to the Season, that was saying a lot.

The first few days he’d gone home, he’d been greeted with new furnishings and supplies. Most gentlemen might frown at their wife’s spending. Simon did not. He was glad she felt comfortable decorating his house.

What wasn’t so comfortable was his swollen belly and his ever-tightening waistband.

Along with new furnishings, Simon had also been presented with a feast fit for a king. Every night’s dinner had boasted a minimum of eight courses. That wouldn't be so bad if they were small portions. But no, Rae only knew one size: vats. Likely her cooking experience came from cooking for the small Hughes army, but for two people one meal provided more food than either of them could eat in a week.

Rae needed something else to do to occupy her time. A friend, perhaps. He’d concluded as much before they even married, but how he’d go about helping her make friends when she’d cowered in the presence of his mother hadn’t given him much promise that he could help her.

Perhaps he needed to take Father’s advice and ask what was behind her sudden coldness and how he could fix it.

Father’s advice had worked well with Giles. He’d just pushed and pushed and pushed until he and Giles reached a new start. Would it work the same with Rae? He had a feeling it wouldn’t. He’d already pushed and pushed and pushed her, all to no avail. That left him only one option: go to Lucy for help. He nearly snorted. Never would he have thought he’d see the day when he was taking relationship advice from Giles.

But, the man’s solution seemed the most sensible of the two.

Screwing up every ounce of courage and throwing away every last shred of dignity, Simon went into the lending library.

“Hullo, Uncle Simon,” Seth greeted jovially.

Simon greeted the lad and handed him a deck of cards from his pocket. “To practice your shuffling.”

Seth’s face beamed. He might know the rules to a plethora of games, but a goat could shuffle cards better than that boy. “Thank you, Uncle Simon!”

“You’re welcome.” Simon ruffled Seth’s hair. “Say, is your mama here?”

Seth frowned. “You’re not going to tell her about our betting, are you?”

“Not unless you forgive my debt.” Simon quirked a brow at him.

“I don’t know. A boy could do a lot with three hundred pounds.”

“And had you won them fairly, I’d have paid you every pence,” Simon countered.

“All right, you win. She’s over in the back corner.” He pointed in the general direction then divided the deck in half.

Simon peered around to make sure he didn’t see his mother.
Good. She must be out at the moment.

“Lady Norcourt,” he said, coming up behind Lucy so as not to startle her.

Lucy turned around. Truly, she was a pretty lady. Dark blue eyes, delicate features, and a slender, petite frame. A beauty by most standards, but something about her didn’t draw him like Rae did.

“Yes?”

Simon fidgeted and then shoved his hands into his pockets, his fingers closing around their contents: two keys and a handful of matches. “My wife is driving me to Bedlam,” he blurted.

“Pardon.”

Simon dug one of his hands through his hair and gave it a hard pull. “I know this is awkward considering our past, but I need some help.” The admission was the final blow to his pride.

“A-all right.” Lucy set her books down. “I’m not sure if I’m the best one to help you, though. I don’t even know her other than what you said about her the day we went to the museum.”

Simon couldn’t recall what all he’d said to Lucy that day, his thoughts had been on Rae. “I’m sorry. I should have paid more attention to you that day.”

“That’s all right.” She waved him off. “I’m fairly certain my thoughts were somewhere else that day, too.” Her telling blush made him feel like less of a cad. “What’s the problem?”

Sighing, Simon sat on the low window ledge. “That’s what I don’t know.”

Lucy implored him with her dark blue eyes. “Then how am I supposed to help?”

“I don’t know that, either.”

“Do you know what’s going on at least?”

“If I did, I would be at home and not here.” For heaven’s sake, how many times was she going to make him admit that he didn’t know!

“I meant what has happened that makes you think there’s a problem.”

“Oh. Right.” Simon blew out a deep breath. “When I first met Rae, I couldn’t look anywhere else. She was not only beautiful, but when she spoke, she pulled me in. I spent three years trying to get her to speak to me again and when she finally did, I couldn’t get enough, and then a fortnight after we married she’s changed.”

“Are you sure this isn’t a temporary change?”

“I sure as hell hope it is,” Simon retorted. Who said it wasn’t temporary?

“And how did you have in mind for me to help?’

Simon idly scratched his chin and wracked his brain. “I think Rae needs a sister.”

“A sister?”

“A sisterly type person,” Simon confirmed.

“I thought she had one.”

“She does. Three actually.” He drummed his fingers on his knee. “Two of them are so young they have a delusion that being married to me would be the equivalent of a king’s ransom, and the one closer to her age is currently confined to the country.”

“All right,” Lucy said slowly. “So are you asking me to treat her as a temporary sister?”

Simon didn’t know what the devil a temporary sister was. Clearly,
he
was the reason for Rae’s change after marriage. Or rather, his lack of understanding her sex. “I know that considering our history that isn’t a request I should be making, but I don’t know of anyone else to ask to befriend her. She has no friends, Lucy. None. She needs someone to talk to and confide in. Someone to get her out of the house and away from the oven so I don’t have to eat a dinner portion intended for a family of bears anymore.” He hated the way he sounded desperate, but not nearly as much as he hated the way he made Rae sound desperate.

“Simon, it’s not an odd request at all. She is my sister now. I’d be delighted to invite her to go calling or shopping with her, and I hope you understand that I’ll soon be introducing her to my only friend. I believe you already know her: Lady Belgrave.” She grinned. “I would have done so already, but—” She bit her lip.

“But?”

Lucy’s cheeks reddened. “I heard she hasn’t been feeling well.”

Simon released a bitter laugh. “I assure you, she is.”

“But your mother…” Lucy trailed off, still unable to so much as look at him.

“Mother intimidates her,” Simon said.

Lucy’s jaw dropped. “
Your
mother?”

Simon nodded stiffly, his throat constricting. He felt like he was betraying Rae by telling that to Lucy.

“But your mother has been nothing but kind to me, I couldn’t imagine her being anything less to someone like her.”

Lucy was right; Mother had been extremely kind to both Lucy and Rae, one of which hadn’t deserved it by Society’s standards. Having a bastard son, Lucy knew all about being scorned and ridiculed.

“She has been,” Simon acknowledged. “And I’m sure given enough time Rae will see that a caterpillar is more threatening than Mother. But until then, she needs an ally. Someone her own age.”

“For a man who first said he didn’t know what the problem was, you sure have a specific solution.”

Simon barely cracked a smile at her jest. “I wouldn’t say that. I’m just praying it’s what she needs. Otherwise, you might as well send me to Bedlam now.”

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as that.” Lucy stood and went back to putting away books. “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind sharing your dinner portion tonight?”

“Not tonight.” Though he’d like nothing less than to ease his own discomfort as quickly as possible, Giles needed Lucy tonight. Tomorrow night would be a better time. It could even be a celebration dinner for Giles. Ignoring her confused look, Simon said, “Rae usually starts setting food on the table about quarter to seven. Why don’t you, Giles, and Seth come at seven tomorrow night when she places the last heaping dish out and join us.”

“We’d be delighted,” Lucy said.

“Simon? Oh, there you are, dear,” Mother said, walking over to him, her green skirt rustling with each step. “I need a favor.”

He sidestepped to his left to let Lucy walk past him. “Yes, Mother?”

“Lucy and Seth will need to leave soon and I need to step out and run an errand, can you please stay and lock up?”

“Why don’t you lock up now?” Simon took out his pocket watch. “It’s only an hour early.”

“And risk losing patronage?” The horror in her voice could only be feigned. “I think not.”

“It’s not as if you’re losing money,” Simon reminded her.

“Still, my good name is at stake,” she said with a sniff. “It won’t harm you to stay here for another hour, will it?”

“No, of course not, Mother.”

Before the words were out, she handed him her key. “Make sure you wait until six o’clock exactly before you bar the door. I don’t want to open the scandal sheets tomorrow to read about Lady Derring being in a huff because she couldn’t return her book on time and will have to make a special trip
all the way
across the street again tomorrow to return a book that should have been returned six months ago.”

“I shall stay until two minutes past six to make sure there is no such travesty,” Simon said then kissed his mother on top of her head. He hoped one day Rae would let her guard down and accept his family as hers.

R
ae wiped
the back of her hand across her forehead. Cooking was hard and hot work, she thought as she sank in the chair furthest from the oven.

Simon had offered to hire a cook almost every day since they’d returned to London. That was the last thing Rae wanted. Without a need to cook, what else would she do with her day? She hadn’t any real friends to speak of. Sure, she could visit Lady Townson, but other than her having played the role of Rae’s chaperone for a few weeks, they had little else in common.

One day she’d have to get over her fear of being further pitied by Simon’s parents and admit the truth and pray they’d accept her.

But today wasn’t that day.

For as much as she’d tried to bury their words and convince herself that Simon’s love for her had nothing to do with Giles, she still hadn’t yet believed it.

Cooking and sewing, though not the most chatty of companions, had kept her occupied well enough the past week. The clock in the hall chimed the hour and she pulled her apron over her head and then dropped it on the table. She had exactly thirty minutes to change and be ready for when Simon came home.

Humming, she rounded the top of the thin staircase that led to the kitchen and halted, her heart slamming in her chest.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Someone was pounding so hard on the front door it was a wonder the wood didn’t split.

Rae padded over to the door and peeked out the little window in the middle of the door. “Mrs. Appleton?”

“Katherine,” the older woman corrected.

Forcing a wobbly smile, Rae pulled the door open. “Is something wrong?”

“Not with me, but I was beginning to think there was something wrong in here.”

Rae waved her mother-in-law inside. “I was cooking.”

“I see.”

Flushing, Rae brushed the flour off her skirt. “I was just about to go change.”

“Before you do, I need to talk to you.”

Unease knotted in Rae’s gut. “Of course. The drawing room is just over there.”

Katherine wasted no time getting into the drawing room. “It looks stunning.”

“Thank you.” Other than cooking and sewing, Rae had to do something with her day.

“I don’t know what I love more,” Katherine mused, letting her eyes linger from the royal blue settee to the cream lounge chair. “The colors of the furniture match the dark wood of the floor perfectly.”

“Thank you,” Rae said again. She gestured toward the settee. “Please make yourself comfortable.”

“That might be one of those things that’s easier to suggest than to do,” Katherine mused, lowering herself to sit on the settee with all the grace of a queen. She patted the cushion beside her.

Rae dutifully sat beside her mother-in-law.

“We have a few things in common, wouldn’t you know,” Katherine started a moment later. “When I was a debutante, all the ladies who married spoke about how they gained another mother on their wedding day. That was not my fate. Lord Norcourt’s mother died before I was out of leading strings. When I married Walter, I’d hoped that the late Mrs. Appleton and I would be close. She wouldn’t allow it. She was so aghast that I’d so willingly brought scandal to my name by marrying her son so quickly that she had little to do with me or Walter after we married.”

Rae’s stomach roiled. “I-I see.”

“No, you don’t.” Katherine reached for her hands. “I don’t want to be that mother-in-law.”

Nor did Rae want her to be. She just didn’t know how to bridge the chasm between them.

“As I mentioned, we have a few things in common,” Katherine repeated. “One is that my husband always tells everyone I had him under my spell from the first moment we met.”

An uncontrollable giggle lodged itself in Rae’s throat. “Well, I certainly stole his attention.”

“I do believe this is a story I should like to hear.”

“I don’t think you do,” Rae said, choking on her laughter.

“Your laughter tells me otherwise. But, if you’d rather not, I understand.”

Rae looked at her mother-in-law. She was trying. Genuinely trying to form a connection. “Simon happened upon me while I was swimming—” she coughed— “wearing only my chemise.”

Katherine chuckled. “Yes, I’d say that might have grabbed his attention.” She squeezed Rae’s hands. “And kept it.”

Rae murmured an agreement, her mind flooding with memories of Simon’s heated looks from across the room and how just him walking in her direction would send her fleeing to safety in the lady’s retiring room. “He was relentless.”

“Because he loves you.”

Rae locked eyes with Katherine. How had she come to that conclusion? Why only a week ago, she’d openly accused her son of marrying Rae to assuage his pain.

“That’s another thing we have in common,” Katherine said quietly. She pulled her hands from Rae’s and reached into her reticule. “Today, while on my knees trying to chase a mouse out from under one of the bookshelves, I overheard a conversation.” She opened her hand to reveal the comb that Rae had lost in her home.

“I didn’t realize until today when I overheard that conversation that you might have overheard a conversation Walter and I had with Simon the night the two of you returned to London.” She ran her fingers over the metal points of the comb. “My words were not only unkind, they were unfair to both of you, and I’m sorry. Simon loves you more than anything and for the right reasons.” She extended the comb toward Rae, uncertainty in her eyes. “I’d love nothing more than to have your forgiveness and be able to claim you as a daughter.”

Rae took the comb from Katherine’s unsteady hand, relief washing over her in waves. She hadn’t been wrong. Simon’s mother didn’t despise or pity her. “I’d like the same.”

“Good. Now that that’s settled, I have one more thing to discuss with you.” She smiled warmly. “My son has a pet name for you, no?”

“Rae.”

“Is that for his use exclusively?”

Rae hadn’t considered that. Though he’d openly called her Rae in front of her family, they’d all continued to call her Henrietta or Henny. “No. I should think anyone who can love me as much as he does can use it.”

“Well then, Rae, I shall see you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Rae worried the lace on her cuff. “I need to make a confession to you now.”

Katherine heaved an overdone sigh much like Simon did before he made a sarcastic remark. “Does my library have a repugnant odor again?”

Rae grinned. “If it does, I didn’t notice it.”

“Oh, good. I was worried that’s why you didn’t want to come back.”

Rae recognized Katherine’s lame attempt at a jest for what it was. She smoothed her skirts and took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Katherine, if we’re going to be completely honest and have a fresh start I need to tell you something. Your favorite pastime is my Achilles heel.”

“Oh,” Katherine’s soft answer wasn’t what Rae had expected. “Would you care to know one of my secrets?”

“Only one?”

Katherine playfully wagged a finger at her. “I shan’t divulge everything, lest you decide it be prudent to blackmail me for being a less-than-welcoming mother-in-law when we first met.”

“I wouldn’t—”

“I know.” She licked her lips. “As it would happen, the reason I run a lending library and Lady Duckworth doesn’t owe a pence for the book she’s had since 1809 is because I didn’t know how to do sums until I married Walter.” She shrugged. “My mother insisted my father hire a tutor to teach me to read so Lord Norcourt wouldn’t terminate our contract, but sums weren’t considered important. They felt my husband’s brain could be taxed.”

“Simon offered to help,” she admitted. Yet another thing she and Katherine shared.

“He’d be an excellent teacher.” Katherine patted her knee then stood. “Now that you’ve forgiven me, perhaps you need to let him know.”

“Let me know what?” Simon asked for the doorway.

Katherine, clearly as taken unawares as Rae, tried to talk but nothing came out.

“That I love you.” Rae jumped off the settee and made her way to Simon as fast as she could. She threw her arms around him with a vigor she hadn’t felt since their first night in London. “I’m sorry, Simon,” she whispered in his ear. “I haven’t been myself this past week and—” she pulled back, found his hands with hers— “I’m sorry.”

Simon looked over her shoulder to his mother. “What have you done?”

“Righted my wrong,” she said cryptically then excused herself.

“Did my mother do something to you?”

Rae turned her head to the side. “She returned my comb.”

“Oh. Wherever did she find it? I searched that room high and low.”

“I suspect she found it near the potted plant by the drawing room,” Rae said unevenly. “That’s where I was standing when I heard you tell your parents about me.”

* * *

S
imon’s gut twisted
. If Rae had stood there, then she’d overheard… “I’m sorry, Rae,” he rasped. So much made sense now. Why she’d been so eager to go downstairs that night and why she’d been so intimidated by Mother. Even why she’d gone to such great lengths to keep herself occupied during the day. She was trying to prove she had value. “I didn’t know.”

“If you had would it have changed anything?” Her carefree tone was the equivalent to a punch in his already uneasy stomach.

“Yes. Had I known you were listening, I’d have refuted their charge.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I thought the more I denied it, the more they’d think they were correct. I believed given enough time, they’d come to see that my feelings for you are genuine.” Simon’s mouth went dry. “If I’d known you were listening and had any doubt whatsoever that I didn’t love you to a distraction, I’d have bellowed my love for you so loud the shingles would have rattled loose.”

“That’s where I am at fault,” she said weakly.

Simon opened his mouth to argue, and Rae pressed her fingers against his parted lips.

“I should have known and been more confident that you loved me, but when they mentioned the timing, I allowed doubts to creep in and I’m sorry.” She pulled her hand from his lips and blinked her red-rimmed eyes. “Can you please forgive me for doubting you?”

“Can you know and believe now and forever that I—” he kissed her forehead— “love—” he dropped a kiss on the edge of her nose— “you,” he said before covering her lips with his.

Rae wrapped her arms around his neck, her body pressing against his. “I think I can manage that,” she murmured against his lips.

“Think?” He pulled back. “Perhaps I should take you upstairs for a more proper demonstration.”

“Yes, I think a proper demonstration might help.”

“Might?” He scoffed. “After we’re done tonight there won’t be any room left for doubt,” he said, sweeping her off her feet and carrying her upstairs to do exactly as he promised.

And he did.