Read Past Regrets: Love and Friendship, Book 2 Online
Authors: Shelley Munro
“Not gonna happen.” Even if the worst happened between him and Julia, Alex belonged with him.
“I used to have nightmares about my father,” Julia said. “Even though I’ve never met him, it didn’t stop me from building images in my mind.”
“His loss,” Ryan said.
“Exactly, and I’d prefer not to waste words on him. If Karen approves of you and Alex, what do you think about buying a house? My apartment isn’t big enough and you share yours with Caleb.”
“We can start house hunting as soon as we get back to Auckland.” Ryan gripped her hand, not wanting to verbalize his thoughts but knowing he needed to for Alex’s sake. “Are you sure? You’re not his birth mother. If you have any doubts tell me now. Later…I don’t want you to feel you have to accept Alex and come to regret it later.”
His words should have hurt, but she understood. He had the right to question her, and she’d be a hypocrite to object. She squeezed his fingers. Now that she was back with Ryan her heart felt lighter. She met his gaze. “I’ll be honest. It would have been harder if he hadn’t taken after you in looks. It would have taken me a little longer to fall in love with him, but those big blue eyes of his. One look and I was toast. Do you know your eyes grabbed my attention first?”
He huffed out a sound that wandered close to humor. “Do you mean to say if I’d had brown eyes you might have picked Caleb instead of me?”
She grinned. “We’ll never know for sure.” She sobered. “I want you, and I want Alex. Together we’ll make a great family.”
“I’m glad because we both need you.”
Together they wandered back downstairs. Ryan poured her a glass of wine and grabbed a beer for himself before leading her into the lounge. Photos of Ryan and his siblings covered the walls and a grand piano stood in the far corner, signs of a musical family.
“Caleb and I are still determined to keep our tours short. We’ve talked about it a lot during the last week. We want to focus on song writing. That means I’ll be around more. Between the two of us and Karen, Alex will have everything he needs.”
He curled a hand around her neck, drawing her closer. Her wine splashed over the edge of the glass, and she set it aside to avoid a spill.
“Alex really is great. Once he loses his shyness he doesn’t stop talking. He was a bit quieter tonight, but you wait until he’s with his cousins tomorrow at the party.” His grin faded. “Tell me about our baby,” he said, reaching for her hand.
“I’ve told you everything.”
“Tell me again. Please, Julia. The more we talk about our loss…” He trailed off and gave a helpless shrug. “You know what I mean.”
Their fingers twined together, and she stared at them for an instant. She sucked in a deep breath and shifted her gaze to the vase of apricot roses atop the coffee table. After another inhalation, she started talking. “I discovered I was pregnant several weeks after you left. It was a shock, and I…um…dithered about telling you. I didn’t know what to say because we’d never talked about children.”
Ryan barked out a laugh. “You never dither.”
“I never thought I’d marry. You know about my father. He went back to his wealthy family, wiping us from his mind in the way other people delete computer files.” Bitterness coated her words, a twang of pain playing through her—a chord or two of a heartbreaking he-done-me-wrong song.
“You never talked about your parents.”
“The man who got my mother pregnant doesn’t qualify for the description.”
Ryan squeezed her hand in silent commiseration.
“Anyhow, the shock of my pregnancy lasted for a few weeks.”
“And when you rang me, you got some idiot woman instead.”
“Yeah.” She blinked to ease the sting at her eyes.
“What did you do then?”
“I was numb. I walked around in a daze for weeks.”
“What about your friends? They would have helped you.”
Julia hung her head, unwilling to admit her stupidity.
Tell him everything
. Connor’s instruction echoed through her mind. “I didn’t tell them. I’m not sure why. Shock.” She shrugged helplessly. “I woke up one morning feeling off. I had bad cramps and collapsed in my apartment, hitting my head when I fell. Susan and Christina found me and got me to the hospital.”
Ryan turned to her, and she saw the glistening in his eyes. He stared at her, unashamed, as a single tear ran down his cheek. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”
Julia ran her free hand over his cheek, brushing the dampness away. “The doctors said sometimes women suffer miscarriages for no obvious reason. I would have lost the baby, no matter what I’d tried to prevent it.” The truth of the words hit her—the actual meaning, and she realized she was coming to accept the reality.
It wasn’t her fault.
All these months, she’d blamed Ryan. She’d blamed herself. But it wasn’t Ryan’s fault either. No matter what she’d done, she would have lost her baby.
The acknowledgment seemed to lift a weight off her shoulders. She squeezed Ryan’s hand, sending him a misty smile. “I love you, Ryan, and I will do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. I missed you.” Her smile turned rueful. “I missed you so much I wore one of your T-shirts to bed every night just to feel closer to you.”
“Julia.” That was all he said. Just her name before he pushed against her until the distance between them was gone. They breathed together, clung to each other for comfort. “I love you,” he whispered against her hair.
They kissed and cuddled, and it was a long time before either of them moved.
“Let’s go to bed.” Ryan stood and held out his hand to her. It was warm and comforting as his fingers curled around hers.
Side-by-side, they ambled down the passage to his bedroom, pausing to peek at Alex. He was sprawled on his back, one arm clutching his owl. A charming little snore erupted as they watched, and Julia stifled a giggle.
In the darkness of Ryan’s bedroom, she stripped off her clothes and climbed into bed. Their naked bodies slid against each other. Their lips met and sweet urgency rose between them. He slipped into her body. Julia cradled him close, arching into him as he loved her tenderly. Her orgasm swelled within her until it became too big to contain, exploding through her in waves of pleasure. When she came back to herself, she smiled, still plastered against Ryan’s larger frame.
“Still love me?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“You know you’ve put me to a lot of trouble,” he said, the caress of his fingers down her back counteracting the slight sting of his words.
“But I’m worth it,” she fired back.
He sighed softly, the warmth of his breath feathering across her neck. “Yeah. You are.”
“I mightn’t have said it much, but I do love you, Ryan.”
“Right back at you, sweetheart.”
And they set out to prove it all over again.
About the Author
Shelley Munro is tall and curvaceous with blue eyes and a smile that turns masculine heads everywhere she goes. She’s a university tutor and an explorer/treasure hunter during her vacations. Skilled with weapons and combat, she is currently in talks with a producer about a television series based on her world adventures.
Shelley is also a writer blessed with a VERY vivid imagination and lives with her very own hero in New Zealand. She writes mainly erotic romance in the contemporary, paranormal and historical genres.
You can learn more about Shelley and her books at
www.ShelleyMunro.com
. Also, feel free to drop her line at
[email protected]
or join her newsletter via the link from her website to hear more about new and upcoming titles.
www.facebook.com/ShelleyMunroAuthor
Look for these titles by Shelley Munro
Now Available:
Tea for Two
Seeking Kokopelli
Lone Wolf
Love and Friendship
The Bottom Line
Spicing up her sex life sounds exciting…until the fantasy hits the fan.
The Bottom Line
© 2010 Shelley Munro
When Maggie Drummond buys an erotic romance novel by mistake, she gets more than an unexpected eyeful. She gets an introduction to a world that arouses her to a fever pitch. Spanking.
Her boyfriend isn’t interested in pushing his vanilla-flavored sexual boundaries. Then there’s Connor Grey, who haunts her fantasies like a magical genie. As a source of masculine advice for her and her female friends, he’s off limits. The only safe place to explore her fetish is her anonymous blog.
The recent changes in Maggie don’t escape Connor’s notice. Now that her boyfriend has dropped her, he can finally—carefully—make his move. Given his family history, laying a hand on any woman, even in fun, is a line he’s reluctant to cross. But for Maggie? Anything the lady wants.
As Maggie gives in to the temptation to let Connor add some sin to her life, she finds herself juggling lies, half-truths, friendship and sensual delights. Her job is in jeopardy—and she’s falling in love. Exploring her fantasy is one thing, but she’s beginning to question if indulging her own pleasure is worth the cost to everyone around her. Especially Connor…
Warning:
Contains explicit sex, spanking, and the good, the bad and the ugly about friendship.
Enjoy the following excerpt for
The Bottom Line:
“C’mon, Maggie. Tell us your secret,” Julia shouted.
Maggie slouched in her seat as several heads turned her way, giving her the once-over. Why did Julia have to yell? Okay, so the men sitting at the next table wouldn’t hear her over the pounding throb of guitars, saxophone and the male vocalist headlining in the packed bar. She hoped.
Susan and Christina nodded with enthusiasm, grinning, their attention focused on her. Maggie hated the limelight, always had since a childhood filled with her mother’s antics and histrionics. The big event that had sent her scurrying north to hide in Auckland had helped cement Maggie’s resolution to stay away from the glare of publicity. Sighing, she forced her thoughts from the past and wondered if this was a good idea. It wasn’t too late to stop, yet gut instinct forced her on, telling her she was an adult. Free to make choices and deal with the consequences. She wasn’t her mother, despite her father and stepmother’s harsh words.
The fine tremor of nerves slipping down her arm confirmed her disquiet. The slushy ice in her margarita tinkled against the edges of the glass, jogged by the quiver of her hands. She set her drink on the table and sucked in a deep breath, steeling herself to blurt out her secret. Not a feeble confession, like it usually was. Today she had a real secret.
Get it out.
She opened her mouth and closed it again. She couldn’t. Sure, it was a game they played when there were a few drinks involved—margaritas usually. But this time was different. It was her innermost desire she was about to reveal. The others had taken their turns and giggled like schoolgirls instead of employees of the staid Barker & Johnson, one of Auckland’s premier accounting firms. They’d released their inhibitions—a side effect of Friday night drinks and the promise of a long holiday weekend.
Now the floor belonged to her.
She licked her bottom lip, stress bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Time to produce a secret.
“What are you waiting for, Maggie?” Susan asked in a sing-song voice. “We’ve told you ours.”
“Secret. Secret. Secret.” Christina banged her palms on the edge of the table. Julia and Susan joined in the beat, their eyes gleaming with challenge in the dim light of the booth.
Maggie picked up her margarita and gulped to moisten her dry mouth. “Okay. Okay.”
Placing her glass on a coaster, she glanced around the bar. No doubt about it. People were starting to stare. Time to spill her secret before things turned ugly. After another deep breath, she dropped her gaze to her clasped hands. “I’ve started a website called BigBadAss.com.” She spoke so quickly the words ran together. Once finished, she scanned each of her friends in turn, anxious now for their reactions.
“Big bad ass?” Christina’s watchful eyes held curiosity while her lips curved in an approving smile. She pushed her frameless glasses up her nose with perfectly manicured copper fingernails. “Isn’t that pretty racy for you?”
“What’s the big deal?” Julia scoffed and tossed her head before Maggie could answer. Her blonde hair stirred and settled in sexy curls around her almost bare shoulders. Shoestring straps held her low-cut black top in place. “It’s just a website.”
“Who’s a bad ass?” Susan smirked. “Don’t say Greg has gone and found some balls?”
“Bother, I have a smear.” Christina rifled through her handbag for a tissue to clean her glasses. “Anyway, I want to hear more about this website.”
Questions. Maggie had expected them, but the comments and queries didn’t put her at ease. Her stomach vibrated like one of her younger brother’s toys—over-wound and about to fly apart. She wiped sweaty palms on her sensible navy skirt, swallowed and said, “It’s more of a blog.”