I laugh and dry my face with my sleeves, not caring if I smear my mascara. “I’m not sure it’s going to work.”
“Because he tried to drive you away?”
“No.” I sigh and snuggle in my pillow. “Because he freaked me out. It’s the first time he’s freaked me out like that.” A chill runs down my spine just at the thought.
She brings her fingers to her right temple and massages it. She looks exhausted. “You know he’d never hurt you like your ex.”
I nod and bring my legs closer to my chest. I’m cold now that I’m calming down. “No, but he’s self-destructive enough to bring me down with him.”
“And I thought I was the only one having a crappy day,” she says with a sigh, sitting on her bed to unzip her knee-high brown leather boots.
“What happened? Something with your study group?” I ask, concerned, hating the thought that someone’s upset her.
“No.” She puts her boots under her bed and twists her hair into a messy bun on top of her head. “My father called.”
“Something’s wrong with your mother?” I sit up and cross my legs in front of me, prepared to go to her and hug her if she needs me to. I’m still learning to show these kinds of gestures naturally without an ounce of uncertainty, but it’s difficult.
She shrugs dismissively. “She’s back in rehab and my father told me that I should be more present in their life and doing less partying. It’s not like I’m not working my ass off, too.” She’s bitter and I understand.
Standing up, I move to sit next to her. She puts her head on my shoulder and squeezes my hand. “Don’t worry, you’ll make him feel like shit when you’re a fantastic lawyer.”
She laughs and straightens up. Her emerald eyes are bright again and I feel better knowing my friend is back to her true self. She’s strong like that. I don’t know where this strength to overcome tough things comes from, but it impresses me and encourages me to be more like her.
“We should totally go out tomorrow.”
I heard about a big party at a girl’s frat house, and even if I wasn’t into going this morning, now I’m welcoming this change of scenery. I may see Sean, I may see Duke flirting with another girl, I may feel out of my comfort zone among the happy crowd, but I’ll be doing something normal. It might be fun with Kate if she’s not off chasing some guy right away.
“Why not.”
She smiles brightly and bumps her shoulder into mine, giggling.
Chapter Fourteen
Now that we’re there, I’m less sure of this. The party is in full force with people already completely trashed. As soon as Kate and I walked through the door ten minutes ago, we saw a girl completely wasted throwing up on some guy’s shirt.
Kate gives me a cup full of beer from the keg and I take a sip; the beer is not even cold. I make a face but don’t comment. Kate’s bouncing in rhythm with the music and her eyes are scanning the place. She’s looking for her next consenting victim.
“We won’t stay long, don’t worry,” she yells near my ear to be heard over the loud music.
I shrug. “Its fine,” I reply the same way, moving away from a guy on his way to the keg when it’s obvious he’s already on his way to being drunk.
She shakes her head. “This party is getting out of control. I didn’t know it’d be this crazy.”
She knows more about these things than I do, but I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t with her she’d stay longer, not caring if the party got out of hand—whatever that means. I feel guilty that she has to chaperone me, taking care of poor little Skye and being unable to party like everybody else. She should be able to have fun like she would do without me.
Her eyes widen and she looks back at me, frozen. I frown and turn around to see what’s going on and freeze, too. Not good. Sean is coming our way, his blue eyes looking darker in the dimly lit room. I have two options: I can run or I stay put with people around us to provide as much security as possible.
“It’s your little roommate. Kylie, right?” he says, able to be heard over the music without yelling like Kate and I have to do to be heard. It’s creepy.
“It’s Kate.” She scowls, taking my hand in hers, and squeezes. I don’t know if it’s to comfort her or me, though. Both probably since we are shaking.
He waves her off and focuses on me. “Partying again?”
I nod stiffly, not looking away. It’s better to keep him in my field of vision. “We just stopped by for a beer, but we’re not staying,” I answer slowly, not even yelling over the music. I know he’ll hear me.
He takes a step closer and I recoil, pushing Kate in the process. I can’t help the instinct reaction he awakens in me. I’m a ball of nerves whenever I have to face him. It’s like everything he did to me comes back in a rush in my head, leaving me shaking and fearing the worst.
“You’re not staying. Go the fuck away,” he sneers in my face, his eyes burning a hole into me.
I try to say something, anything, but no words leave my parted lips. I’m mute and my gaze is glued to his hard face, which I once found boyishly cute.
“Leave her alone!”
Kate and I jump and she squeezes my arm … hard. I may have a bruise tomorrow but I don’t care at all. Instead, I’m looking at Duke striding toward us with a glower on his face, followed closely by Derek, who is looking calmer but his clenched fists tell another story. I remember him being into boxing. God, it’s going to get nasty and fast.
Duke stops in front of Sean, towering menacingly over him, his eyes on fire. He’s livid. Derek stays at his side, but he’s staring at Duke not Sean. He probably feels Duke’s about to explode. Some people around us begin to realize something is brewing. Guys seem interested, almost expectant—probably some of Sean’s friends—while the girls seem bewildered that I am the reason for the tension. I know, I’m plain and I shouldn’t be in such a predicament, but here I am. I don’t feel Kate’s grip any longer and yet she’s still squeezing my arm.
“Man, you should really walk away if you think she’s any good in bed. Frigid is her middle name,” Sean says, taunting Duke, who moves to launch himself at him but Derek’s fierce grip stops him. Boxing probably taught him some self-control, which Duke seems to lack.
“Don’t fucking talk about her like that!” Duke yells at the top of his lungs, making me take a step back against the petite frame of Kate who hugs me immediately. She’s shaking like a leaf, too.
“Walk away, Sean,” Derek says coldly, his soft brown eyes showing his authority as the president of his frat.
Sean scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. The muscle in his jaw jumps and I whimper. Kate looks at me, questions written on her face, but I can’t tell her that I know that facial expression and what’s going to happen if things don’t settle down now.
“I’m not the one making a scene. Your buddy is.”
Duke growls and shakes Derek’s grip, escaping his hold. He puts his forearm over Sean’s throat, pushing him until he’s trapped against the wall. Duke’s forehead is sweaty, his breathing is audible even above the music, and his chest is heaving under his black T-shirt. The muscles in his arms are playing under his tattoos, making them dance on his skin.
Sean’s eyes widen and for the first time in my life, I see fear in them, the same fear I had to live with for the last three years. It’s messed up, but it’s good to see him in this position, completely powerless to someone else’s strength.
“You son of a bitch, you are pathetic. You want me to keep away from Skye because you don’t have her anymore and you don’t want anybody else to have her, either. You’re the one not worthy of her. Last time wasn’t enough for you? That’s fine by me. I can beat you up again, send you back to the hospital if you so much as talk to her again. Got it?”
Sean tries to move but without any success. Duke is much taller and stronger than Sean and he is in a blind rage. “She won’t put out for you; you’re wasting your time.” Sean’s voice is clipped, but the malevolence is still in his eyes.
“I don’t think you get it. Even if I don’t sleep with her, I’ll always have her in my life when you ...” Duke smiles and it’s dangerous. “You, will be alone your whole fucking life, pining away for her while she’ll be having a wonderful life. She’ll forget about you, she won’t even think twice about you. And then, you’ll find another victim to make you feel like a man. But guess what? You’re not a man; you’re a piece of shit.”
I glance at Derek, afraid that things are getting out of hand. I don’t like to hear Duke so calm all of a sudden. It’s not a good thing when his body is shaking from rage and his breathing is still labored. Derek is not far away, analyzing Duke more than Sean, ready to pounce at the first sign that Duke is about to lose it. It doesn’t help me to relax, though.
“Oh. My. God,” Kate says next to me, her breath brushing against my collarbone. Her eyes are alternating between Duke, Sean, and Derek with her mouth gaping.
The crowd around has fallen silent and all eyes are on the three guys. Some of Sean’s frat buddies yell for him to take Duke down but Sean can’t move. Duke is not about to release him.
“So what? You won’t ever be able to take her virginity. You won’t ever have that part of her. And she will never tell you she loves you. I win in the end,” Sean replies harshly, spit flying on to Duke’s T-shirt.
I don’t know when this morphed into who will have more of me than the other, but it makes me uneasy and feel like an object instead of a human being. I understand what Duke tried to do by minimizing Sean’s impact on my life in the grand picture, but he lets my ex worm into another type of argument and Duke’s too blind to see it. I know all too well how Sean knows where to go to make thing go insane in the ugliest way.
I wave at Derek to catch his attention but he holds up a hand and I bite my tongue.
“Duke knows what he’s doing, don’t worry,” Kate says in my ear, her voice a little weak.
I shake my head. “That’s the thing, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know Sean like I do.”
She tightens her arm around my shoulders and I let her. It was supposed to be a night for us to chill, but I guess I can’t plan anything. Everything just always falls apart.
Duke pushes his forearm against Sean’s throat while the other one grips his shoulder tightly. Duke’s knuckles turn white. “But I’ll always have her respect and a connection with her you never experienced and never will. She’s not yours,” he snarls in Sean’s face, his straight nose almost touching the slightly crooked one of my ex.
“She’s not yours either.”
Then Duke straightens without releasing Sean and smiles, without it reaching his eyes still blazing with anger. “But I’m not looking to own her. She owns herself.”
My shoulders relax and warmth spreads through my body. He really does get me. My eyes water but no tears fall. I cross my arms around me, ready for Sean’s next round, but he stays silent, his eyes now pinned on me. They are flaring.
“Duke?” My voice is weak, wobbly, but it catches Duke’s attention. He releases Sean instantly and walks to me while Derek says something in a hushed tone to my ex who gives me one last hard look before walking away.
“What did he say to you? Are you all right?” Duke asks me, his breathing still hard and too fast. He’s not about to calm down anytime soon.
Kate steps away and walks toward Derek, and they exchange a few words while I try to find my voice. “I’m fine. You?”
Duke pushes a lock of my wild hair from my face, his fingers shaking when they brush against my hot cheek. “Don’t worry about me.” He doesn’t sound calm or himself, really. It’s like he’s about to kill someone or throw something against the wall. He’s like a ticking bomb but I’m not afraid. I don’t feel the need to run away, to put distance between us. Instead, all I can think about is snuggling in to him, to listen to his heart going back to its normal slow beat.
“I’ll always worry about you,” I mumble with a frown. It’s hard not to grip his naked arms where his tattoos are taunting me. It’s really hard not to hug him and forget about our argument. It seems so petty now.
“Like I do for you?” he asks me more softly as the people around us begin to go back to the party like nothing weird happened minutes ago.
“Maybe more.”
He shakes his head, his frown never easing, his breathing never calming. He’s still shaking with the rage that’s inside him. “Impossible.”
I look down at his black heavy boots and his old jeans with holes in his knees. “It’s over, Duke. Calm down.” I look at his face but my words don’t change a thing.
“Let’s go,” he says instead, grabbing my hand forcefully, but he stops. I squeeze his hand, letting him know without words that I’m fine with him taking charge. I can let him do this right now. “We’re leaving. Can you keep an eye on Kate?” Duke says to Derek who is still talking to Kate. If I’m not mistaken, Kate likes what she sees in Derek. I can’t help an amused smile and she winks at me.
“No problem, man.” Derek nods and waves at me with a serious look on his face. “You shouldn’t drive though.”
Duke tenses more and purses his mouth. His hand shakes in mine. “I can drive my own car.”
Derek holds his hand up and doesn’t say a word, though his face talks for him. We can all see how Duke is worked up.
Duke waves him off and leads me outside toward his car parked not far from the house. I don’t know how he found such a good spot when Kate and I had to park two blocks away.