Pedigree Mum (45 page)

Read Pedigree Mum Online

Authors: Fiona Gibson

Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Humorous

‘Oh, he’s gorgeous,’ she shrieks, bounding out of her seat and terrifying the baby with her burgundy grin.

‘Does he always make that racket?’ sniggers Phil, who’s swiftly joined by Frank and Eddy, all of them looming over the buggy while Rafferty howls.

‘Look – haha!’ Eddy jabs a porky finger at Rob’s huge laminated visitor’s badge.

‘Yes, well, it seems to have gone a bit high security around here. That girl didn’t even have my name on the list.’ Rob picks up a writhing Rafferty and holds him to his chest.

Eddy smirks. ‘Oh, Cassie’s not the brightest bulb. Decorative, though. Anyway, you said you wanted a chat. What’ll you do with Junior here? He stinks a bit, by the way …’

‘He should be fine, I just checked his nappy in the loos in Starbucks …’

‘Must be you then, mate,’ he guffaws.

Rob hesitates, cradling Rafferty and registering that his shirt is already daubed with a small splodge of milky vomit. Figuring that, as a woman, Ava will welcome the opportunity to cuddle a freaked-out infant while Daddy talks business, he makes a move to hand him to her – but she shrinks away and hurries back to her desk.

‘Nadine okay?’ she mouths with a pained expression.

Rob shrugs, about to explain that he has no idea how she is, when Ava snatches her phone and makes a call. In fact, apart from Eddy, everyone else has scurried back to their own corners of the office, like mice scattering when a light is switched on.

‘I’ll just bring him with me,’ Rob says. ‘He’ll be okay in a minute.’

‘Oh, er, all right.’ Eddy flares his nostrils and heads for his little glass cube.

Rafferty does, thankfully, quieten down. In fact, Rob decides that it’s better that he’s here; his presence will ensure that the whole business is wrapped up as quickly as possible. ‘I’d like to put my name down for voluntary redundancy,’ he begins.

Eddy frowns at him across an eerily empty desk. ‘No, you can’t do that.’

‘Listen, I know I’m springing it on you, and you’ve been great since Nadine, um …’

‘Sorry, your timing’s not good.’ He shakes his head firmly.

Rob repositions Rafferty so he can peer over his shoulder and watch Frank adding a saucy caption to the centrefold girl. ‘Well … I’ll work notice of course. It’s just too difficult to keep everything going and I’ve decided it’ll be better for us – for my whole family, really – if I move down to Shorling and go freelance.’

Eddy blinks slowly. His eyelashes really are transparent, Rob observes, like tiny fishbones. ‘No, you see, the cut-off date for redundancy applications was a week ago.’

‘Oh,’ he says hollowly.

‘Which is a bugger, mate, seeing as you’ve been here since the year dot. Would’ve been a fortune.’

‘Mmm.’ Rob inhales, detecting the sour odour coming from his shoulder. ‘Can’t I just apply late? Surely, with having the baby and Nadine freaking out and going back to her mum and dad’s, the HR people would bend the rules a bit …’

Eddy shakes his head. ‘Not a chance, Robster.’

‘You … you do
know
about Nadine, don’t you?’

‘Yeah, mate. Bad news.’ He nods and stifles a yawn, unaware that, if he weren’t holding a baby, Rob would happily knock him flat.

Instead, he glances round at the office in which a decade of his life has drained away. Years and years spent at his keyboard, clattering with such speed and intensity that he frequently left with a flickering eyelid.

‘I’ll resign then,’ he says.

‘You are joking,’ Eddy guffaws. ‘You’re needed here. You just need to find a decent nanny or childminder or whatever they have these days and get back to the coalface.’

‘The
coalface
?’ Rob repeats mockingly.

‘Yeah, back in the heart of things. You’ve been stuck in that flat too long, that’s the problem. Don’t know how mothers stand it. No wonder Nadine lost the plot.’

Rafferty is wriggling now, tired of his view of Frank’s screen. Delving into the vast quilted bag at his feet, Rob pulls out a bottle of milk. ‘I’m not coming back to the coalface, Eddy. I don’t want to work here anymore.’

‘But what’ll you do?’

Rob shrugs. ‘I told you. Go freelance.’

‘Yeah, but times are tough. There no work out there, you know. You think you’ll have this great career, jobs pouring in, but your only commission will be writing the instructions on the back of a bottle of Toilet Duck.’

Sounds appealing, Rob reflects, compared to being here. ‘Maybe I will,’ he says steadily, ‘but I’ve been talking to Simon about heading up the digital edition of
Tram Enthusiast
, which I could do from home.’

Eddy roars with laughter. ‘What d’you know about trams, Robster? Jesus …’

‘D’you mind not calling me Robster, Eddy?’ Rob glowers at him. ‘Actually, you’re right – I know nothing about trams. Not a damn thing. But if I can manage to write a column as a woman, then I’m sure I’m capable of getting my head around them.’ He blinks at Eddy’s stunned face. ‘They’re interesting actually – and eco-friendly. In fact, I think trams are the future.’

He is standing up now, holding Rafferty close to his chest, rubbing his back to wind him under Eddy’s baffled stare. ‘You
will
still write Miss Jones, though, won’t you? You’ve got a big following now, and at least it’d be regular freelance work, keep the wolf from the door …’

‘Thanks for the offer, but no.’

‘But we’ll be stuck—’

‘Maybe
you
could do it then?’ With a quick, terse smile, he leaves Eddy’s office and gently places Rafferty in his buggy. Without saying goodbye, Rob marches towards the door.

‘I’ll need this formally in writing,’ Eddy snaps after him.

‘You’ll get it.’ He steps out of the office and calls the lift. When it arrives, one of the finance girls is already in it, and she beams admiringly at Rafferty.

‘How are you getting on, Rob?’ she asks. ‘Haven’t seen you around for a while.’

‘Oh, fine. Really great actually.’ He smiles, sensing the little knots of tension in his back and shoulders beginning to untwist themselves already.

‘You look it. You look
really
well. I thought new dads were meant to be completely wrung-out and exhausted.’ She chuckles kindly.

He laughs bashfully, embarrassed that he can’t remember her name. ‘Huh. Thanks.’

When the lift arrives at the ground floor, she waits to let Rob and Rafferty out first.

‘Well, good to see you,’ says the pretty, sunny-faced girl. ‘Your little boy’s a darling. He’s the absolute image of you.’

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Kerry is taken aback by the amount of practice Harvey has done these past few months.

‘I’m impressed,’ she says. ‘Most people let it slip when they stop coming for lessons. You’ve come on a lot. What did you do – drag that old Casio keyboard around with you from hotel to hotel?’

‘No, but I did buy a roll-out one,’ he explains. ‘I hadn’t even known they existed until I started searching around. So I shoved it in my case and whenever I had a spare hour, out it’d come, and I’d go through my scales and pieces and stuff.’

‘So what did Luella think of that?’ she asks, keeping her tone light.

Harvey frowns at her. ‘Luella? She didn’t think anything … why should she?’

Kerry flushes, getting up from her stool beside the piano to find another piece for Harvey to play. She bobs down again, feeling suddenly hotly self-conscious. ‘I just thought you two were an item,’ she says with a shrug.

Harvey snorts. ‘Yeah, for about five minutes at the start of the run.’ He shakes his head and pushes back his dark wavy hair. ‘How did you know about that? I didn’t think you read the grubby tabloids …’

‘Well, I just happened to have a quick glance, and then Ethan said …’

Harvey looks bemused now. ‘
What
did Ethan say?’

‘That when you’re not working you’re off to Luella’s place in the south of France, and how much he’s enjoying having your flat all to himself.’ She laughs, relaxing a little. ‘He said sharing with you is like living with his mother, actually.’

‘Cheeky sod. And a liar too. He knows I got out of the Luella thing as soon as I realised what I was dealing with. God, Kerry – he’s pathetic. He was just trying to screw things up for me …’

‘Really?’ she frowns.

‘Yes, really. I know what he’s like.’ Harvey’s eyes meet hers, and she feels a fluttering in her stomach. Screw things up for Harvey
in what way
? With her, does he mean? They are sitting on stools, his at the piano, hers angled at the side. Her music room feels very still and quiet but she knows that, in twenty minutes’ time, the children will burst in, having been looked after by Lara while she was teaching.

‘So what happened with Luella?’ she asks tentatively.

He smiles. ‘Couldn’t cope with the high-maintenance princess behaviour. I didn’t care how often she had her hair done, as long as I wasn’t expected to
up my standards
, as she put it. And you know me, I’m about as low-maintenance as you’ll get.’

‘Er …’ She laughs softly. ‘I don’t really know you, Harvey. Not really.’

There’s a pause. She studies his handsome face, the clear blue eyes and the lovely, kissable mouth. She could do it – there is no one else here. It would be terribly unprofessional of her but nobody would know …

‘Kerry?’ His smile makes her stomach flip.

‘Yes?’

‘I hope it wouldn’t be horribly compromising for you – as my teacher, I mean – if I …’

She looks at him, and his eyes meet hers. Then, with her heart in her mouth, she leans towards him, her lips meeting his in a kiss. ‘I’ve really missed you, Harvey,’ she says softly.

‘I’ve missed you too.’ Pulling back to study her face, he wraps his arms around her. ‘You’re so lovely. I’ve always thought so, you know. I don’t think anyone ever looked forward to piano lessons as much as I did.’

‘Really?’ She laughs.

‘Yes, really.’

She kisses him again, her head swimming and her entire body tingling. It feels like mere moments before there’s a rap on the front door, and Lara’s sing-song voice calls out, ‘Kerry? It’s just us. We’re back. Carry on if you’re still teaching, we can hang out and watch TV …’

‘No, it’s okay, I’m finished …’ She and Harvey appear in the kitchen where Mia, Freddie and Audrey-Jane are all whispering and sniggering.

‘Good lesson?’ Lara asks, beaming at Harvey.

‘Um … it was interesting, yes,’ he says with an entirely straight face. ‘I learnt a lot today.’

‘Bet you did,’ Lara says briskly. ‘She’s the best piano teacher in Shorling – everyone says so. In fact, Kerry, I meant to mention it – Audrey-Jane is keen to start lessons as soon as you have a space for her …’

‘I’m sure I can fit her in,’ Kerry replies, suppressing a grin as the three children huddle together again and dissolve into high-pitched giggles. ‘What’s so funny?’ she asks, bemused.

Lara rolls her eyes. ‘I’m
so
sorry, Kerry. You’re going to hate me for this …’

Kerry gives her a quizzical look as Mia turns to her and says, ‘Audrey-Jane’s got a new kitten. She’s so cute, Mummy.
Please
can we have a cat?’

Chapter Seventy
Three months later

Villa Serra, Costa de la Luz, September 2

Dear Kerry, Mia and Freddie,

Just wanted to put pen to paper and say what a wonderful surprise it was when you arrived last week. I can’t quite believe Barbara had managed to keep it secret that you were planning to come – I shouldn’t say this about my oldest friend, but you know what a terrible gossip she is! Knows everyone’s business, even out here. Anyway, Kerry, it makes me so happy that you’ve settled so well into the house and Shorling too. You made me laugh when you told me how the children have become Shorling-ified – mad on seafood now! Didn’t they love that sushi place we went to? It’s a favourite of ours and great to see the children enjoying it so much. As you said, Freddie doesn’t even refer to wasabi sauce as snot anymore. He’s quite the sophisticated young man, and Mia is both beautiful and a delight.

But more than that, what pleased me the most was seeing you so happy, Kerry, with such a wonderful man. I must admit, both Barbara and I are now a little in love with Harvey too. He’s delightful – fun and interesting with a real zest for life. He is wonderful with Mia and Freddie and I can see how much he loves you. I’m glad things are working out for Rob and his baby, too, and it’s obvious that Mia and Freddie like their daddy living close by. I’m sure you’ve had dark moments, but you’ve handled it all amazingly well.

I know Harvey is teaching at the moment, but I do hope the film comes off – it sounds as if it’s ‘in the bag’ as they say, but of course he wouldn’t admit that. Anyway, whatever happens, when you do have some time, please come out to stay with us again very soon. Seeing you always fills me with pleasure because, as you know, you’re the daughter I never had.

With all my love,

Aunt Maisie

Children and Dogs …
… Are they really that different?

Once upon a time, before I had a dog of my own, it would drive me crazy when people likened pet ownership to the care and nurturing of a young human being. When a (child-free) colleague came to visit soon after our twin sons were born, she exclaimed, ‘Oh, you two look shattered! Been up all night, have you? It was the same for us when we first got Caspar.’ I’m sorry, and I know there’s the pooping and chewing of soft furnishings and all that – but acquiring a Labrador puppy is
mildly
less daunting than raising a child.

However, since our collie-cross Jack joined our family, I’ve discovered that, actually, dogs and small children have more in common than I’d realised …

  1. The ability to embarrass you in public.
    My dog has leapt in through open supermarket doors and careered around the aisles – not unlike my children when they were younger. Fortunately, though, a dog will not throw a tantrum and scream for chocolate.
  2. A tendency to leap at visitors as they arrive, slobbering all over their faces and muddying their clothes.
    Some friends find small children scary and overwhelming; others are wary of dogs. The people who come back to your house more than once will tend to be the ones who enjoy the company of both.
  3. No decorum whatsoever.
    Pawing guests, jumping onto laps and leaving powerful smells in their wake – it’s all in a day’s work for a child and his canine companion.
  4. Boundless energy.
    Young children, like dogs, need to be exercised regularly. During my first ten years of parenthood, we probably had around three days when we didn’t leave the house – and on each of those, I’d vow to myself, ‘Never again.’ Keeping small children cooped up indoors generally results in mess, chaos and bad moods all around. A good run-about does wonders for most small creatures – however, a dog is more likely to come back when called.
  5. A knack of being able to fall asleep anywhere.
    On – or in – your bed being a particular favourite, especially when you’ve just changed the sheets. No matter how cosy his own bed/basket may be, your sleeping quarters will always be more alluring.
  6. An urge to snatch whatever is on your plate.
    It’s always so much more enticing than theirs.
  7. A love of cuddling up on your lap.
    My three children – all teenagers now – don’t tend to do that anymore, and I miss that physical contact sometimes. Perhaps that’s what drove me to acquire a hug-loving hound (who will lie sprawled across my lap for
    hours
    ).
  8. An ability to bring in incredible amounts of dirt, mess and even live creatures into your house.
    However, only a child will expect you to show great interest in his find.
  9. A dishevelled appearance
    (unless you’re the kind of parent/dog owner who invests more energy into maintaining standards than I could ever muster). I have yet to meet a small child who enjoys having his hair washed – or a dog who relishes being sluiced down in the bath. Detangling and grooming can also prove challenging for both species.
  10. They’re both, well …
    fun.
    Both dogs and children give us permission to be kids ourselves again. Without one or the other, would you ever find yourself playing games in a park, running just for the hell of it or leaping around your garden with an assortment of balls and squeaky toys? Would you venture out in the rain, hail or blizzard? Or shove on your wellies and splosh across a flooded field? However tired or stressed we are, dogs and children still manage to make us laugh. Perhaps that ex-colleague with Caspar the puppy had a point after all.

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