It’d been a particularly brutal day when Driscoll had taken a turn for the worse and Spencer had been like a ghost waiting for his brother to die. She hadn’t been able to do anything to comfort him. The guilt had been eating at her. She’d sought solace, as she always did, in her studio. There were times when she might not be able to articulate what she was feeling verbally but through her dance she could. She’d started to dance then had collapsed, unable to find the joy in it.
“Why should I find any joy when I killed my child?” Regina said the same thing now as she had the last day she had danced.
That day she’d wept bitterly as she’d left the room, locking it. She’d never returned. She’d gone back to the hospital and sat with Spencer. They had prayed by Driscoll’s beside and Regina had made a silent vow to not dance again. She pounded her fist on the floor—she’d lived up to it. She rocked, holding herself, staring at the door that seemed to beckon her. She covered her mouth and shook, fighting so as not to cry.
Clarity filled her mind and Regina wondered how she could have let the accident control her—she’d let it take so much from her and hadn’t even fought for it. First her dancing then Spencer. Her belief that she was guilty and had to shoulder the blame had changed her. Change the integral things that made her who she was. Determination filling her, Regina slowly got to her feet then took a step towards the door. She shuddered, feeling as if she would fly apart. But she continued until she was before the door. She held out her hand, touching the knob and felt as if it welcomed her. She knew it was her imagination, but a sense of peace filled Regina. Turning the knob, she pushed open the door. The room was musky from having been closed up for so long.
With slow steps, Regina entered looking at the walls of mirror that showed off the room at every angel. The floor was perfect to dance on and there were spotlights set up that could be controlled to give effect to the dance. They had planned the room for everything that it would need for her to do a complete choreography for anything. The slightly raised platform in the corner was large enough to hold a band or pieces of an orchestra. She remembered loving having this room and sharing it with Spencer. He’d sit on the stage and play while she danced. At other times he’d take a chair and sit in the middle of the room and she’d dance around him, seducing him and making him long for her. They had built many sexual fires in this room. The space was large enough to have an audience for those moments she brought clients here to show them what she had created. There was an entrance that came from outside so the client could come in that way instead of through the house. When she did the unveiling of a dance she would use here, Dakota’s studio in his house or the studio at Moments to present the dance she, he or they both came up with. It was matter of the mood they were in.
The memories of all she had created were here. Everything that she had shared here filled her. Regina unconsciously started to move. She felt her body flow into the steps that were as natural as breathing—it was like coming home. Closing her eyes, she lifted her arms in joy and moved, slowly spinning then flowing around the room. Tears rained down her face and she licked her lips tasting the saltiness as they wet her mouth. Regina spun then dipped low. She lifted her head back and opened her eyes, staring in the mirror. Regina’s eyes widened as she saw a little boy who looked to be about three. He was a mixture of her and Spencer. She stepped forward and the little boy smiled at her. The grin was all Spencer’s, and he waved then danced, swaying in the glass. She moved with him and could swear she felt his little hand in her own. Afraid to break whatever was happening, she didn’t look away.
“It’s okay, Mommy. Uncle Charles is taking care of me,”
a sweet little voice said and a ghostly hand touched her cheek.
Regina smiled thinking that Julianne’s deceased husband was up there and watching out for her and Spencer’s son.
“Oh, baby.” Regina put her hand over his ghostly hand. “Why haven’t you come to see me before?” Her voice echoed in the empty room.
The boy in the mirrors stopped dancing and watched her solemnly.
“You weren’t ready. Now you are. There are a lot of kids who need parents. You’re going to adopt. Your first will be a sister for me. I’ll keep watch over her and make sure nothing happens to her. She will grow up healthy and strong with you and Daddy.”
“I wish you were here with us, baby.” Regina eyes filled with even more tears. “Will you come see me again?”
He looked sad. “
No. It is only for this once. I love you, Mommy.”
“Love you too, baby,” she whispered.
“I have time for one more dance.”
He held out his hand.
Regina reached out and felt the ghostly touch and almost fell to her knees. She held it together and danced with her little boy. He giggled and she held on to the sound. They moved, spinning around the room and laughing.
“Bye
.” The touch was gone.
Regina looked around frantically and, seeing nothing, hugged herself. She sensed he was gone. Regina sat on the floor, pulling up her knees to her chest. She had no idea what had just happened, but she had to believe it was her child coming to her, looking how they would have if they’d lived. Gratitude filled her and she lifted her head and said thanks to God for granting her the gift of seeing her son.
Regina bit her lip, knowing she had something else she had to do. She pulled herself up then left the studio, closing the door softly behind her. On her way out of the house, she grabbed her purse and keys, then took out her cell to send a text. In moments, she was in her vehicle heading out. Minutes later she approached the gates and they opened. She smiled, knowing they had got her text. Regina parked and ran up the steps. The door opened as she approached.
“Why the hell did you make me come answer the door? It didn’t even ri—” The man turned, spotting her and his eyes widened. “Regina.”
Driscoll stared at her, his expression shocked. Regina studied her brother-in-law and wondered what she could possibly say to him.
Chapter Nine
“It’s Reggie.” She smiled and pushed into his space. “Dris, if you ever call me Regina again and I’ll knock out your teeth.”
“That’s what you told me when we first met.” Driscoll laughed. “You still haven’t changed from your violent ways.”
“So Spencer keeps telling me.” Regina bit her lip and stared into his face. “I have something to say to you.”
“First, give me a hug.” Driscoll opened his arms.
Regina happily went into them—Driscoll gave the best hugs. She leaned into him and he held her, crooning a soft tune—she couldn’t make out the words. Driscoll lifted her and Regina wrapped her legs around him. She laughed delightedly. Driscoll had always had a tendency to pick her up and carry her. He’d done it the first time they’d met when she was teenager. She had missed him so much. Driscoll stepped into the house, kicked the door closed with his foot then walked a little then he set her on her feet. She patted his cheek and kissed the other.
“I’ve missed you, Dris.”
“I’ve missed you, Reggie.” Driscoll stared at her. “You have your head out of your ass now.”
It wasn’t a question, but Regina answered anyway. “Yes.”
“Tell me what you have to.” Driscoll gestured for her to sit.
She sat and waited for him to join her. Driscoll leaned beside her, turning his body so he was looking at her.
“I’m sorry. I blamed myself for what happened to you and your band mates.” Regina touched his hand. “That you had to retire and the rest of them that survived too. I—”
“Am an idiot.” Driscoll said. “You’re an idiot, Reggie. We were already retiring. When you came to get us we had already decided that. All that was needed was the announcements. I’d wanted to tell you and Spence, since you are my only family left, in person.”
“You have other family—our friends,” she pointed out.
“Yes, they are family too. Although some of them I don’t want to claim. We have some crazy assed friends.” Driscoll laughed then sobered. “But the two of you are the closest to me. The accident derailed a lot of things, Reggie.”
“It did.” She leaned closer to him. “You were retiring. That is news to me.”
“Yeah. I just regret that those in the band who died didn’t get to return and spend more time with their families.” Driscoll cleared his throat. “Do you know the families of the band members who passed still keep in touch? With each of us who lived. I thought they would blame us for surviving when they didn’t. We get together once a year to reminisce.”
“You do?” Regina realised she had missed a lot.
“Yeah, we do.” Driscoll gripped her hand.
“And it is hard for you.” Regina had a flash of insight. “Oh, Dris, it’s not your fault. You’re not to blame for what happened.”
“I am. I insisted we fly in even though the weather was so bad. I asked Spence to come get me instead of hiring a driver. Then you came and I couldn’t save my nephew for you and Spence.” Driscoll gulped. “I started the effect that started all this.”
“Idiot,” she said fondly. “If I can’t blame myself neither can you.” She hugged him.
Driscoll held her tight. Regina ran her hand over his back, murmuring words of comfort. He cleared his throat then pulled back.
She smiled at him. “I think we both need to go to therapy to work through our feelings of blame.”
“You know what happened the last time I went to therapy.” Driscoll groaned. “The therapist wanted to make me her boyfriend then when I refused tried to have me committed as crazy.”
Regina laughed, remembering it. “This time we’ll make sure to vet her better. Who knew she was an obsessed fan?”
“Irene hated her on sight and told me not to go,” Driscoll admitted.
“She did? Then let her vet the therapist.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Driscoll smirked. “That would be fun to watch.”
“Irene is a little scary.”
“She is.” Driscoll lifted his voice. “She is also fired for fooling me to get the door.”
“Like you could live without me organizing your life,” the woman called back.
“I knew she would be eavesdropping.” Driscoll shook his head. “You and Aida get back to work.”
“I was not eavesdropping!” Aida yelled.
“Interfering women,” Driscoll called.
The women laughed and it receded as they moved farther away.
“No respect, the two of them.” Driscoll sighed. “I should fire them.”
“You wouldn’t. The two of them mean the world to you.” Regina cupped his face. “Like you do to me. I’m sorry for pushing you away and out of my life.” She thought of what Julianne had said about his coming to see her. “Why didn’t you keep pushing until I opened up?”
“I thought seeing me was painful for you with the loss of the baby.” Driscoll ran his finger down her nose. “I didn’t want to cause you anymore pain.”
“And I was feeling like I caused everything. A fine pair we are.” Regina nodded. “Definitely, we are each going to therapy.”
“I hate talking about my feelings and shit.”
“Well, you will do it.” Regina said firmly. “I’ll tell Irene and get her on it.”
“Don’t think I don’t know she’s been working to keep you all organised too?” Driscoll laughed. “You have no idea what you’ve got yourself into?”
“I’m starting to realise. I tried to fire her, but she refuses to accept it. Although technically, I haven’t been paying her.” Regina glared at him. “Don’t think I don’t know that it’s you who has been paying her?”
“Humph…you mean she’s got a raise and said it was my duty as a big brother to take care of my brother and by extension his wife. Since I love you all so much I went along.” Driscoll lowered his voice. “Don’t tell her, but I was going to give her a raise anyway.”
“I knew that!” Irene yelled.
“Christ, woman, stop listening into peoples’ conversations!” Driscoll yelled back.
Regina laughed at their antics.
“Then stop talking about me then,” Irene called back. “When you are done being lazy you still have work to do in the music studio. Stuart is waiting for you.”
“He’s here? I was going across the street to see him after I spoke with you. I need to apologise to him too,” Regina said.
“He understands.” Driscoll laughed ruefully. “As he said to me, since you and Spence finally worked out your shit, he was giving you until December then he was ‘coming to tie your saucy butt down and talk some sense into you’. If that didn’t work, he was going to tie your ass to a chair and play his drums as loud as he could until you screamed for mercy.”
“I do love Stu. He knows how to say the sweetest things. He’s crazier than you are.” Regina laughed.
“Humph, I’m offended that you said that. No one is as eccentric as I am.” Driscoll lifted his head, looking at her haughtily.
Regina studied him then grinned. “I have someone I want you to meet.”
“No.” Driscoll stood. “If it’s your neighbour Jenn, she already flagged down my car and told me in no uncertain terms she doesn’t want to date me.” Driscoll glared at Regina.
She grinned and rose to stand beside him then shrugged. “She was just a thought.”
“Why all of a sudden do you have the matchmaking bug?” Driscoll shook his head. “I had to tell Jenn I don’t have any plans to date her even if you all paid me.”
“You didn’t.” Regina gasped. “Did she deck you for insulting her?”
“The damn woman laughed her fool head off.” Driscoll grinned. “Her response made me rethink maybe convincing her to go on a date with me.”
“Only you would think someone laughing at dating you is an invitation to persuade them.” Regina chuckled.
“I’m eccentric. She is very fascinating.” Driscoll smiled. “I want Stuart to meet her.”
“I didn’t get to ask, but why wasn’t he at the block party in September?”
“He was out of town,” Driscoll replied.
“Okay. But he better be here for Thanksgiving. So what are you making?” Regina rocked back on her toes.
“Is that your way of inviting me to Thanksgiving?” Driscoll asked. “If so, that is lame.”
“Fine, oh brother-in-law of mine. Please deign to grace us with your presence for Thanksgiving.”