Authors: Zoya Tessi
“Good-for-nothing,” I grumbled and blew smoke towards his nose, at which he just buried his face deeper in his fur and went on sleeping.
The sound of a key turning in the lock broke the early evening silence, announcing Mike’s return before he walked into the kitchen, humming a tune and carrying an unusually large cloth sack. He fell silent as soon as he saw me sitting there.
“Well hey. How are you feeling?” he asked cautiously.
“I’m fine.”
“Really?
After last night you’re fine?
“I don’t want to talk about that
.”
“But...”
“Please, don’t drag the whole thing up again now. I really don’t wanna talk about it.”
For a few moments he stood still, looking uncertain, as though he honestly didn’t know what to do for the best, but then a gentle smile came to his lips and he approached me.
“I have a surprise for you,” he grinned so that his face lit up and I sighed with relief, thankful he’d got the message and changed the subject.
“What is it?”
“Well if I let the cat out of the bag, it won’t be a surprise then, right?”
“Oh,
come on...” I tugged on one of his dreadlocks that was hanging down over his eyes. “Tell me.”
“Hmm... I’m taking you to a very special party tonight.”
This was a surprise, and though I was far from being in the right mood to see a crowd of people that night, I couldn’t bring myself to say no. I knew very well that Mike had come up with this out of the goodness of his heart and from a fear that I might slide into a deep funk once again.
“Special? Do I even dare to ask what that means?”
“You’ll figure it out for yourself. I suggest you to start getting ready, everything you need is here,” he winked and let the sack drop down on the floor close to my feet.
“What would I need?”
”Be patient. You’ll see. “
“When you chuckle to yourself like that, I know I should be worried.”
I turned my attention to the sack and looked at him through narrowed eyes as I started to spill its contents on the floor. Emptying the items didn’t dispel my confusion, however, and my frown grew even deeper as I stared at the pile of… whatever it was.
I found myself studying a wicker basket, a bunch of carrots, leeks and radishes, a white bonnet, some wooden clogs and enough white and blue frilled cotton to upholster a sofa. There was also a wooden cane with a curved handle that turned out to be made of cardboard. Mike was standing over me the whole time, waiting for a reaction.
“What the hell is this?” I pointed to the bunch of random weirdness in front of me and looked up at his face questioningly, at which point he doubled over in a fit of laughter, so that it took quite some time for him to compose himself once more.
“It’s your costume. Isn’t it just a gas? We’re going to a masquerade!”
“That’s too childish, even by your standards. And who am I supposed to be in this get up anyway?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, pre
tending to be outraged, “ A little farm girl, of course.”
“Of course... poke fun at me, and at Nikolai’s expense why don’t you…” I grabbed a leek and swung it towards his head, hoping to knock some sense into him. “I can’t even imagine going to a party dressed like that, not even for a second.”
“Hey! Do you know how much effort it took to find such a beautiful example of a fresh leek in February?” he went on complaining as I got up to him around the table.
“If I have to play a farm girl, what’re you gonna be? A lost sheep?”
“Not exactly...” he said and escaped by darting through the door in the direction of his room.
“Idiot,” I stopped chasing him and rolled my eyes, sitting down at the table to examine the assortment of vegetables now covering the floor.
When Mike appeared at the kitchen door a few minutes later, I almost fell off my chair.
“
Oh my God!” I could only gawp at the sight before me.
“What’ve you got to say now, hey?
Ain’t it the best?”
In a bright yellow leotard that exposed his chest
, with a long blonde handlebar mustache and a headband on his head, Mike was grinning like a moron. This was the icing on the cake. Of all people, he had chosen to go as Hulk Hogan.
“I wouldn’t be seen dead with you dressed like that!”
“What are you talking about? It’s going to be a blast,” he grinned, adjusting his bright red headband.
“Yeah, it’s totally within the bounds of good taste to walk hand in hand with a bare-chested guy in a yellow leotard. Have you lost your marbles?”
“Don’t be a wet blanket and get dressed! You’ll see, we’ll be the stars of the show tonight.”
“ I
can’t wait...”
I somehow accepted that nothing could change the evening ahead and picked up the various sections of
my costume, slinking up to my room to put it all on, surprised at myself for not putting up more of a fight.
“You’ll pay for this, I swear,” I elbowed Mike in the ribs as we were leaving the house an hour later, not quite believing that I was going along with it all..
I felt like a complete idiot in my long powder-blue skirt with its five petticoats underneath. My white blouse shone with sequins and embroidery down the front, as colorful bows and ribbons hung all around. On my head, two long blonde fake plaits trailed down at the sides, sewn into the seams of a high bonnet with bright flowers sticking out of it. In one hand I was carrying the basket complete with all the fresh vegetables Mike had bought, and in the other there was my cane.
“Come on, chill out, you look so cute... a real little country girl.”
“Screw you!”
We got into Mike’s heap of a truck and headed out to the address where the party was supposed to take place. Since it was Friday night, the roads were jammed with people heading into town and we were forced to crawl along at a snail’s pace. At one moment I looked around at the other cars to find that all the faces inside were turned towards us in amazement.
“Everyone’s
staring at us!”
“Of course they
are. Wouldn’t you?” he started to giggle, “This was a great idea, I’m so proud of myself.”
“I don’t know how I let you talk me into this.”
“Oh come on, relax. Can’t you just go with the flow and enjoy the night?”
“Hardly…” I grunted, smiling inwardly all the same.
The roads descended into complete gridlock as we approached the middle of downtown, and I found myself hoping that by some stroke of luck we might remain stuck for the rest of the night. I settled more comfortably into my seat, lit a cigarette and stared up at the stars in the night sky. The guy in the car next to ours started honking his horn furiously, and I looked down at him amused, knowing that no amount of noise was going to get him there any faster.
Suddenly, a motorcycle edged between our two vehicles and came to a stop, waiting for the lights up ahead to change to green. The rider was only two feet away from me and only the window glass separated us.
When he turned his head towards mine, I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. His face was hidden behind the helmet and only thing I could see was a pair of mist-colored eyes staring right at me.
Feeling like I’d been struck by lightning, I flinched and the cigarette I was holding fell through my fingers. I looked down quickly to retrieve the burning cigarette,
but when I looked out of the window again, the bike was gone.
“Hey!
Everything OK, doll? “
“I thought I just saw.... someone.” I whispered the words, still shocked by the feeling that had come over me. “It’s nothing I guess, just my mind playing tricks,”
“You sure?”
“Yeah
.“ I gave a shrug and fixed my gaze on the car in front.
We finally parked in front of a building downtown and it would have been impossible to miss the place nearby where the party was in full swing. I looked up at the huge windows of the first floor apartment to see the shadow of a giant chandelier quivering across the ceiling and a lot of long white curtains ruffling in the breeze. Music blared from inside, and on the terrace, among other characters, there was a big white rabbit with spectacles talking to Marilyn Monroe, sipping from an oversized glass of wine.
I tried to fix the petticoats that had bunched up around my legs and followed Mike, who seemed to be in his element with his thumbs tucked inside the waistband of his leotard. As he approached the entrance he caused an inevitable uproar among those already present
. It was fun to watch him messing around, inviting girls to touch his muscles or stroke his moustache, laughing along with them as his macho WWF bravado gave way to mirth.
I took a tall glass of something pink and fizzy from a silver tray near the door and hung back
, close to a bunch of people who would have looked at home in Marilyn Manson’s band, trying not to think about the hallucination, or whatever it was I’d experienced earlier. When I did think about it a little more, an ironic sort of laugh rose halfway to my throat. Like a character in another tale, I’d been visited a little late by the ghost of Christmas past.
I wasn’t in the mood to mingle, so I went on exploring the place, going through the rooms and looking around me.
I wondered why any sane person would invite more than a hundred people into their home for no apparent reason. The floor of the apartment was well saturated with spilled booze by now and cigarette ends littered the carpet.
Plenty of time must have passed, because it seemed to me that I could see the nature of the party change before my eyes. On one couch near the window several people of inde
terminate gender seemed to be lying in a heap, fawning over each other in a drunken haze. A glance around the room revealed that several couples were already making out up against the walls, their poses suggestive enough to make me blush. The music had changed too, as cool house beats were replaced by something more industrial and edgy.
I quickly left the room and went on looking for Mike who was nowhere to be seen. I finally caught sight of him, smiling at a bunch of g
irls dressed as Playboy bunnies and decided to make my way over through the crowd.
Halfway there I felt a hand slap my ass so I swung my wicker basket instinctively. It landed hard between the legs of an Arab Sheikh, but sent radishes and other assorted vegetables flying across the room at the same time, not that anyone seemed to notice. I left the sultan clutching his family jewels and took a few more strides towards Mike, realizing too late that I’d hooked some guy with my cane along the way, and that I was dragging him behind me – an angel in nothing but white y-fronts and a dog collar.
“You brought me to a God-damned orgy!” I hissed in Mike’s ear when I’d finally gotten rid of my unfortunate baggage.
“Darling, where did you disappear to?” he placed one arm around my waist and clung to me.
“Mike!”
“
Shh...” stumbling, he started to pull me towards the corner of the room.
“You’re
drunk.”
“Me? No.
” he shook his head, hovering over me, “I’m just very slightly out of my head.”
“
Yeah, I can see that...”
“
Oh, doll... I don’t think you do.” slurring his words badly, his face came very close to my own,” Sasha, my beautiful Sasha... I am... Absolutely. Totally. Irreversibly... intoxicated by you.”
"
Completely wasted, that’s what you are.” I took him by the hand and started dragging him towards the door “Come on, I’m taking you home. “
With some difficulty, I managed to get him to sit down in the back seat, then got in behind the wheel and took a deep breath. It was around two o’clock in the morning and the streets were almost deserted, so I decided to put my foot down on the way back. The engine sputtered to life and I turned the wheel, pressing my foot down hard on the gas to move off.
When I stopped at the first set of lights I pulled the ridiculous wig off my head and threw it behind me, where it may or may not have hit Mike. I glanced over my shoulder to check up on him once a little later, hearing him mumble something incoherent. Besides looking totally out of it, I
was pretty sure that he’d survive.
“Just like a teenager…” I commented under my breath as I found myself turning the truck into our street.
I parked near to the entrance to our house, as close as I could get to the door, which meant taking the truck up onto the sidewalk. Cursing my luck, I realized that Mike was now asleep and it took all my strength to get him out of the back and support his weight. With difficulty, I tried to maneuver the semi-conscious yellow wrestler towards the door. He wasn’t especially big or heavy, but he was still getting on for twice my size. His weight almost got the better of me a few times, which would have left us both in a heap on the ground, but I stuck with it and eventually we reached the front wall of the house, which supported him a little as I rummaged around in my bag for the keys.