Micah cut her off, “We find the ranger.”
30
Soft grey clouds rolled along the blue sky, joining together, obscuring the sun. Thick humidity clung to the Missouri forest, and the scent of ozone was heavy in the warm air. The heavy rain that had swept through the area left puddles of standing water and muddy trails in its wake.
Rein followed the group surrounding Ellyssa, as she pointed out different plants and described their uses. Every time she turned around, she smiled at Rein, clearly enjoying teaching the Renegades how to survive. In fact, he was enjoying the lessons as much as the others and even played guinea pig when his family hesitated to try something new. He had tasted the inner bark of the white pine, which was amazingly sweet, and chewed on pine needles, which weren’t as good but were still edible.
Ellyssa dropped to her knees and unearthed a wild carrot. From her pocket she produced hemlock. She positioned them together in her hands. “As you can see, both taproots are white, so it is imperative to know the difference between them.” She set both plants down and moved back, so that everyone could examine the similarities. “Look at the leaves. They are both triangular in outline, and both produce flowers that can be white or pinkish in color.”
“How are we supposed to tell them apart?” asked Summer, a beautiful teen with chocolate eyes.
Summer’s was the first birth Rein had experienced. Her father had passed out, and her mother’s screams had echoed throughout the passages. It’d scared the hell out of him.
“Is it fatal if we gather the wrong plant?” asked Summer’s mother, her eyes the same color as her daughter’s. Her fingers were intertwined with her husband’s.
“Yes.”
“Well? How do we tell, then?”
Ellyssa smiled. “Very easily, actually.” She pulled some leaves from the hemlock and handed them to Summer. “Roll these between your finger and thumb.” She waited as the teenager did as instructed. “Now smell.”
Summer sniffed her finger and wrinkled her nose. “That stinks.”
Ellyssa laughed. “Yes, it does. Now, try this one.” She handed over the leaves from the carrot. “What does that smell like?”
“Carrots.”
“A simple test.” She dusted her hands on the legs of her pants. “Another way to tell the difference is by examining the stem. The wild carrot’s stem is hairy while the hemlock’s is smooth. Now, I would like all of you to try and find some wild carrots.”
The group dispersed into smaller crews of two or three, leaving Rein and Ellyssa alone. She turned toward him, her eyes shining.
“You’re a natural with kids,” said Rein.
She appeared shocked at his observation. “No. I’m not.”
Confused, he went to her and took her hand in his. “Why do you say that? Look how much you’re enjoying the children and their families.”
“I was never a child. Never had the opportunity to play or go to a normal school. How could I relate?” she said, her voice soft, thoughtful.
“But, you’re doing a great job.”
“It’s not the same.” She pulled away from him. “You forget, I was bred to survive. And to kill.”
“And not to feel emotion, either,” he added pointedly. “And to talk like a robot. And. And.” He went to her side. “And you’re not any of those things.”
She didn’t reply, her stance stiff as she watched one of the groups reappear. Green leaves poked from their small canvas bags. They waved before disappearing down an old deer trail.
“Ellyssa,” he said, touching her arm. “I want to show you something.” He pulled her into an open area where the rain was not hindered by overhanging branches.
A corner of her mouth pulled back, questioning. “What?”
“Run.”
Ellyssa stared at him, as if a third eye had opened in the center of his forehead. “I don’t understand.”
Grinning, Rein said, “Just run, would you?”
She crossed her arms. “I would feel silly.”
He stepped close to her, his face centimeters away. She smelled of the outdoors, flowers and sun; her eyes were clear and blue as a summer’s day. Ellyssa swallowed, hard, and met his gaze.
Rein cupped her cheek. “Trust me.”
She nodded.
He smiled and stepped back. “Go!” he said, pointing across the field.
Ellyssa took off running through the meadow, the long blades of grass bouncing back behind her. Rein followed, not wanting to miss her expression. When she reached the middle where wildflowers clustered in a pastel burst of color, it happened. Hundreds of white butterflies erupted from the tangle of leaves and stalks, fluttering in the light breeze and soft shower. They danced wildly around her, swirling in a frenzied state.
Ellyssa stopped, her eyes wide in wonder. “Oh.” She reached her hand out, and a small butterfly landed on her finger. She brought it close to her face, examining it. “Beautiful,” she said.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
She froze; her face blanked. Not the response he was expecting.
Then, suddenly, laughter erupted from Ellyssa, loud and uninhibited. She took off running in a circle, her hair fanning behind; her hands brushed across the flowering plants, scaring more butterflies from their hiding places. Their wings beat white against the overcast grey. She stopped in front of him, a smile on her lips.
“This is the most perfect day I have ever experienced.”
Rein stepped closer to her; the back of his hand brushed her cheek.
“Thank you,” she said, shyly, her eyes focusing over his shoulder. He placed his finger under her chin. “Look at me.”
She did, her gaze timid. She chewed on her bottom lip.
He rested his hand on the small of her back and pulled her close. With his free hand, he pushed a damp piece of hair behind her ear. Droplets of rain glistened in her lashes and reflected the blue of her eyes. Her soft breath brushed against his cheek.
Rein’s heart picked up speed. “It’s never too late to enjoy the small things in life,” he said, breathless.
Unexpectedly, Ellyssa wrapped her arms around him, encircling his neck, her fingers buried in his hair. At her touch, chills ran down his spine.
Rein’s lips, wanting, anticipating, quivered. He dipped down and found her mouth. At first, she didn’t respond, her muscles tense, and he feared he’d overstepped his bounds. Then, she relaxed. Her lips parted and formed around his, soft and inviting.
Heat radiated from her. Fire ignited, sending currents of pleasure through his veins. He moved his hand to the back of her neck and held her tighter, cherishing every contact their skin made.
New pulses tingled and traveled.
Rein’s tongue teased the edges of Ellyssa’s lips, coaxing her. She relented, exploring his mouth, tasting him, her deepest desire exposed. Never in her life had she experienced an explosion of such intensity.
Heart fluttering, like the wings of the butterflies in the meadow, Ellyssa’s midsection quaked. She didn’t know what to make of these physical reactions. Was this love? Desire? Infatuation? She had no idea.
When they parted, Ellyssa was breathless, her chest heaving. Rein tipped his head back as he watched her, his green eyes shimmering pools.
Was he sad? Regretful? Happy?
Before Ellyssa had a chance to analyze his expression any further, Rein pulled her in and hugged her, his lips grazing the top of her head as she buried her face against his chest. She felt bared, something she’d never allowed before. It showed weakness. Ellyssa no longer cared. She craved his touch, his embrace, his kiss. Her mind wouldn’t stop working, though.
What was he feeling? Thinking?
Her insecurities amazed her.
She could easily peek, answer her questions, but resisted.
Rein pulled back, cupping her chin in his hand, then he bent over to brush his lips against hers again. Her blood turned to lava and traveled from her lips to her chest. Her knees weakened.
He wouldn’t have kissed her again if he hadn’t felt something, would he? Once again, she stopped herself from reading his mind.
“Ellyssa,” he said, his eyes meeting hers, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long. I just didn’t know how.” He paused while he nuzzled her ear, inhaling deeply. “Did you mind? Was it wrong?”
Unable to speak, her thoughts put partially at ease, Ellyssa shook her head.
He sighed. “I have something to tell you. Something I knew from the first day, though I didn’t recognize it. I was blinded by our differences.”
Terrified of what he was going to say, Ellyssa chewed on her lip. After a moment of hesitation, she whispered, “What?”
“I love you.”
Panicking, Ellyssa stepped back. Rein’s hand slipped down her arm and swung to his side. Just a moment ago, she’d wanted to know if he felt like she did. The problem was, she had no idea what her feelings meant. Most of her life, the hatred and anger she was allowed to feel had fueled her as a soldier. The limited feelings—a tiny bit of pleasure, and maybe fear—she’d masked. For the first time ever, she felt like fleeing.
Rein must’ve seen the fear in her eyes, because his face fell. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way.”
Ellyssa’s breath stuck in her throat like a rock that wouldn’t dislodge. She closed her eyes and worked on calming herself. It was harder than it should’ve been. When she could breathe again, her eyes opened on a face filled with sadness, maybe agony, all because of her.
“It is not that. I do not understand what these feelings are,” she tried to explain. “I am not sure I know how to love.”
“That’s not true.” Rein gathered her hands in his and kissed her fingers. “Why did you leave The Center? Why did you come here? Look at all you have experienced—how much you’ve grown. Sorrow, compassion, friendship, betrayal, loneliness, loss, acceptance, and happiness.” He paused and cupped her cheek. “I’ve seen you truly happy. Smiling. Laughing.”
Wanting so much to see things his way, she inhaled. Confusion churned in her body as she tried to sort out the sensations.
Rein held her hand against his chest. His heart beat rapidly beneath her fingers. “Does your heart feel like this?” he asked.
There was no denying it. She nodded.
His finger traced down to her midsection. Her muscles jerked at his feathery touch.
“And does your stomach quiver when I touch you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Blaze?” He moved closer and nuzzled her ear. “Do you feel it now?”
Ellyssa paused for a moment, enjoying the reactions he stirred in her. She’d felt them before, when she’d peeked into other people’s thoughts. Their wants and desires. She’d always pulled out, afraid of discovering what she had been missing. She had lied to herself for years. She’d been lied to. There was nothing better than the way she felt now.
At that moment, she knew.
“I love you, too,” Ellyssa breathed.
Rein nibbled her earlobe and ran his nose along her jaw, reaching her mouth, while her fingers outlined the muscles of his back. He kissed her, hard. Fire licked through her veins, consuming her. She pressed into him.
The sound of laughter and rustling foliage doused her flame. Summer and her parents appeared. Their hair and clothes were damp, shoes muddy, but their faces held grins. Shortly afterward, a cherubic-faced toddler ran into view, her mother close behind. Grasped in her chubby hand, the child held a variety of wildflowers.
Ellyssa’s cheeks warming, she pulled away.
“It’s time for us to go, anyway,” Rein muttered in her ear. His breath caressed her skin. “We have council business to attend to.”
Their fingers interlaced, Ellyssa led the way to Summer. The teen showed Ellyssa all the wild carrots she’d found. “I checked every one of them,” she exclaimed, her voice excited.
Ellyssa looked them over. “Very good.” Summer beamed. “Tomorrow, if we have time, I will show anyone interested how to prepare these different plants for consumption.”
“I’d like to go,” Summer said. “Can we, Dad?”
A tall, lanky male, with light green eyes, smiled down at his daughter. “If everything’s done, sure.”
Ellyssa walked to the mouth of the cave with her students behind. She checked the plants as they filed in, while Rein stayed at her side. He seemed unable to keep his hands off her, touching her hand, brushing his fingers along her cheek, pushing strands of stray hair behind her ear. She relished every bit of contact.
The sun dipped behind the trees, and yellows and reds burst through the waning clouds. Ellyssa reveled in happiness and drowned in fear, both emotions in a constant struggle for dominance. How could she leave now? How much pain would that inflict?
As Ellyssa worried about the future, Rein leaned over and kissed her. “It’ll be okay. Everything will work out,” he said, as if reading her thoughts.
Was this a special power people shared when they had connected in a loving relationship? The ability to read each other without invading?
Ellyssa let Rein lead her into the old mine.
31
Woody entered the hospital, carrying a box of supplies. His usually smooth hair hung limp in his face, and dirt smeared his cheeks and nose. He set the box down and dropped on his haunches, eye level with Ellyssa.
Ellyssa ignored him, just as the council had ignored her protests. No matter what she’d said, she couldn’t get the members to see things her way. She’d be staying behind, while Rein and Woody risked their lives.
Frustrated, Ellyssa shoved a package of bandages into the metal trunk and slammed the lid. She pushed the container to the doorway, where it would be taken to the evacuation cavern.
“Candy is doing much better today,” Woody said, apparently not wanting to talk about the meeting either. “She’s helping with kitchen chores.”
“I am glad,” said Ellyssa, shoving a six-pack of ointment into the last container.
“She wants to talk to you, but…it’s hard on her.”
“I understand.”
Woody nodded. “Jason’s trial will be tomorrow.”
At the mention of his name, fury blazed. Ellyssa glanced over her shoulder at the bloodstained ground, a constant reminder of what he had almost cost her. She shoved down an urge to finish him off, a lingering instinct from an old life. She wasn’t that person anymore.