As we rounded the corner into the main area, I was bumped from the side by someone. I grabbed Jordan's arm to steady myself and looked to my right. Dark eyes smudged with too much eyeliner bore into mine, making me forget the small stab of pain.
"Ugh, I knew I smelled something nasty," Amber's voice was like nails on a chalkboard
.
As per usual, she was in a mood.
I rolled my eyes, feeling Jordan's hand on my hip as I turned away from Amber, intending to ignore her. That was, until I heard her snort a laugh.
"That's classy, Lil."
I turned as she eyed Jordan and then looked pointedly at the hall we had just emerged from. I glanced at Jordan and he looked away, seeming uncomfortable with her knowledge of our activities. It's not like Jordan was the first guy I'd done this with, but for her to act like she didn't do the exact same thing was beyond infuriating.
"You know what the biggest difference between us is, Amber? I mean, aside from the size of that massive ass?” I narrowed my eyes as I stepped forward. "The difference is, you still try to pretend to be this sweet, innocent girl who has 'never done anything like this before' and 'can't believe you're letting him do this’. At least I'm honest. I like sex and I'm fucking good at it. Anyone who isn't okay with that, isn't worth my time."
Amber's mouth dropped open as the guy who was standing behind her, probably being led toward the hall to do the same thing I was just doing, stepped back and looked her over carefully. I turned without another word, giving Jordan an apologetic smile as I offered my hand. He took it, letting me lead him out the front door of the bar.
"I guess it's safe to say I wasn't your first," Jordan said as the door closed behind us.
I laughed at his tone, the grin that stretched across his face made him seem so much younger.
"I would have to be either a prodigy or a very quick study to be as amazing as I am without practice." I winked and gave him a half smile. "Although
,
you've had quite a bit of practice yourself, I'd say."
"Maybe a little," he agreed with a quick nod of his head, kissing my cheek softly before leading me down the street toward The Strip.
As we walked, I realized there wasn't much I didn't like about Jordan. He was shy but he knew what he wanted and could certainly work his charm. Every new piece of him I was seeing made me feel that much closer to him. The thought made me almost high with excitement
,
but terrified me at the same time. This was only temporary.
"This can't be happening…" A broken sob ends with a cough. I can't catch my breath. Somewhere nearby Jackson is yelling.
Calm down. You have to stay calm.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Hatred
ZANE
I kissed Conner's forehead, sighing as I closed my bedroom door before heading back down the hallway to the living room. I glanced at my phone, nearly growling in frustration.
Sunday nights were usually early for me since I had to be at work by five in the morning
.
But
,
with Lizzie not responding or returning my calls or texts, I'd had to keep Conner another night. It wasn't like this was the first time she'd flaked but it still stressed me out. It was usually the precursor to another complete meltdown.
Tish looked up from the TV as I dropped onto the couch. "You should sleep
,
" he tried to reason
,
but it was no use. At this point, I was too worried about what would happen when Lizzie showed her face again. Plus, there was the added stress of trying to find someone to watch Conner while I worked.
Last school year
,
I enrolled Conner in an early childhood education program for three year olds. It had taken a lot of research and planning ahead to make sure I had everything I needed. There were very few options outside of normal daycare and I wanted more for him.
The downside was I didn't think fast enough for summer. Lizzie, in all her infinite wisdom, had blown off filling out the paperwork at the beginning of the year for the state assistance with daycare. Her excuse had been that he would be in school and she didn't need daycare. Bullshit. She was lazy and I was an idiot for thinking she would handle it.
Now
,
I was stuck
.
The only daycares I could afford were places I'd never trust with Conner. It wasn't that I was overly picky, I was just determined to find the right place
.
Since it was only a few weeks into summer, I hadn't had time to finish researching.
I was just about to ask Tish if he could watch him when the front door opened and closed quietly before Lili stepped into view, a smile on her face. I was immediately on edge. Her date with the douche nozzle Kas told me about must have gone well.
"Hey," she lilted as she waved, heading down the hall. Kas pushed off of Tish's lap, following her quickly toward the back of the house. I noticed the black tights Lili had been wearing before were missing and I felt the implication of that realization like a slap across the face. My hands balled into fists on my lap as I fought the urge to say something shitty and completely uncalled for. What the fuck was wrong with me? Since when was Lili's sex life any of my business? Just the thought of her sex life was enough to make me swallow back bile.
"Are you going to try Lizzie again?" My eyes flashed to Tish's face as he pulled me from my roaming thoughts. It took a moment longer than it should for me to realize he was asking if I was going to call Lizzie again about Conner. I shook my head, both in answer to his question as well as an attempt to dispel some of the unwarranted anger I was feeling.
It didn't take long for the confines of the living room to feel stifling. I realized that I was staring down the hallway, almost straining to hear something from Lili or Kas. When I glanced at Tish, his attention was back on the TV. I couldn't remember if I had sufficiently answered his question but he seemed to have given up talking to me now. I looked back to the hall and waited, considering going back to ask Lili how it went but the thought made my blood boil yet again. I couldn't explain the completely irrational anger I'd had this weekend when I thought about Lili — or maybe I was trying too hard not to think about it.
Just as I was about to stand, Lili and Kas came back into view, laughing as they moved into the living room. Kas resumed her spot on Tish's lap while Lili dropped down beside me on the couch, propping her feet on my lap the way she always did. She'd changed into her favorite black pajama shorts and scrubbed the makeup from her face.
She pulled a hair tie from her wrist and used both hands to brush her hair up off her neck. I stared at the contrast between the dark hair and her pale flesh as more of her skin became visible. How was it possible that I'd seen her dressed up for a date and thought she was the most beautiful thing imaginable and yet, right now, with her relaxed beside me, she was even more incredible to watch?
"What?" her voice broke into my thoughts, causing my eyes to drift back to hers. She raised an eyebrow expectantly and I nearly told her the truth.
I cleared my throat, looking back at the TV. "Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind."
I thought I heard Kas snort and turned my head to glance at her in warning. She gave an unapologetic shrug. "So
,
what are you going to do about Conner?"
"What about Conner? What'd I miss?" Lili's feet moved as she turned toward Kas and I slid my hips back discreetly, sitting up straighter
.
She came dangerously close to noticing my body's new reaction to her before I could get it under control.
"Lizzie flaked again and Zane has to work in the morning," Kas answered. I felt Lili's eyes back on me. Kas smirked, understanding my movements as she stifled a laugh. I narrowed my eyes at her briefly before I looked over at Lili.
"I just have to find someone to watch him tomorrow. I'm hoping Tish can." I glanced over at him but he was already shaking his head.
"No dice. I have an interview with a new apprentice wanting to work at the shop."
"I'll do it." Lili turned toward me again, crossing her ankles on my thighs. I grabbed her calves automatically, hoping she would quit moving. The smooth, soft skin of her legs had the opposite effect I was hoping for. I was starting to feel like I was fifteen rather than twenty-five. I couldn't remember the last time I had this little control over that particular part of my anatomy. I needed to get it together.
"You sure? I mean, he'll probably be up pretty early." It wasn't like Lili had never watched Conner before
,
but mornings weren't exactly her strong suit.
She rolled her eyes, tugging her feet away from my grip to put them on the floor. "What? You think I can't handle him for a few hours?"
"That's not what I meant," I apologized. "He would love it, Pix. Thank you."
Lili shrugged, looking at me sideways with a tiny smirk that told me she forgave me.
Early mornings on the rig were usually an easy shift. Not that there was any sort of routine when you worked in emergency care, but early mornings as a paramedic felt like a cake walk after spending so much time working overnights. Jackson had his feet propped out the window as he sucked down what had to be his fourth cup of coffee.
"Bad night?"
Jackson rolled his head toward me, too exhausted to lift it from the back of the seat. "Chloe had a rough night. She's stable again but they're worried about her heart."
I frowned, knowing my own problems had nothing on a sick baby. "I'm sorry, man. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you guys."
"Actually, there is. Distract me. I hate being here when I want to be with my girls. How was your weekend off?"
"Lizzie flaked again. She called me on Friday to pick up Conner and I had him all weekend. Saturday morning he flew off the handle and told Lili his mommy said she was a dirty tramp and if that wasn't enough, last night Lizzie never showed up to get him and never answered her phone. I had to leave him with Lili this morning and I'll have to rush home before she has to leave for work."
"Is Lili okay with watching him after that?"
"Yeah," I said and chuckled. "They made up before she left for work. He even told her he loved her." I shook my head at the memory. When Conner told Lili he loved her, it shocked me. It was the first time he'd said it to her. Hell, as far as I knew it was the first time he'd said it to anyone who wasn't family. He said it to me and to Lizzie and even his grandparents and Tish, but he had known us his entire life. He'd grown up repeating it back to us when we said it to him. For him to say it on his own to anyone was a big deal.
"Lili's good with him, though, right? I mean, you've left him with her before." Jackson lifted his cup to his lips, frowning when he realized it was empty.
"Here." I offered mine and he took it with a grateful smile. "Yeah, I trust Lili completely with Conner. She's great with him. I'm just worried about Liz—" My phone buzzing in the center console cut me off. I glanced down, seeing Lili's name on the screen. "Speak of the devil." I laughed, lifting my phone to my ear.
"Zane, Lizzie's here," Lili spoke before I could, her voice quiet but urgent. "You need to get home. Now." The sound of cartoons and a door closing were the background to her words. I sat up straight in my seat.
"I'm on my way. Keep Conner out of the middle of it, Lili." I motioned to the keys dangling in the ignition as I spoke and Jackson started the rig.
"I know!" she snapped, the phone cutting off before I could reply.
"My house. Lizzie showed up," I explained quickly as Jackson took off toward the North. I called dispatch, letting them know we were offline temporarily.
"Have they seen each other since the other night at the club?” he asked after several long minutes. The traffic at this hour was hell and as much as I wished I could flip on the siren, I knew Jackson would get pissed.
I tapped my heels against the floorboard as I watched the light ahead turn red. "Fuck!" I growled, raking a hand through my hair as the cars in front of us slowed to a stop. "No and Lizzie was at step one of a meltdown when I picked Conner up Friday. Between what happened at the club and Conner's little outburst… this isn't good."
"It'll be alright. Lili knows how to handle herself." Jackson meant his words to be reassuring but the images my brain conjured up had me leaning my head back as I willed the traffic to move faster.
"That's not the problem," I said as he turned into the neighborhood. I leaned forward in my seat as he rounded the corner, immediately spotting the two women in the grass outside the house.
I watched as Lizzie tried to shove past Lili. Jackson slammed to a stop just before Lili tackled her to the ground. I swore, throwing my seatbelt off before running full speed through the yard.
I grabbed Lizzie — who had used her height to roll, trying to pin Lili beneath her — under her arms, pulling her back toward the driveway. Lili jumped to her feet, a small trickle of blood on her lower lip as she lunged toward Lizzie, only to be caught by Jackson. He carried her toward the house as I turned, only releasing my hold on Lizzie when we reached her car. I finally noticed that it was parked crooked, taking up almost the entire driveway.
"Give me my son!" Lizzie shoved her fists against my chest. I clamped my hands around her wrists to keep her from hitting me again.
"Are you high, Lizzie? Seriously?" It wasn't really a question. The answer was clear in every part of her appearance. Her long hair was pulled back and dirty, her eyes hollow and glassy. "Get out of here before I call Daniel and have him take you to sleep it off in a cell." I released her wrists, hoping the mention of her cousin on the police force would be enough to get her to leave.
I glanced over my shoulder, finding Jackson standing by the rig trying to dab at Lili's lip with gauze as she batted his hand away. Her eyes were still boring straight into Lizzie. She took a step but Jackson quickly put himself in her path, blocking my view.