Perfectly Broken (12 page)

The impressive building housing the operation
brought to life the richness of the company’s story, from its
humble beginning at St. James Gate to its growth into a global
brand. Stepping inside, the flair for the dramatic was immediately
evident.

At the bottom of the atrium was the world’s
largest beer glass, rising up through the center of the seven-story
building. It wasn’t his first visit to Guinness, and Tomas
remembered the experience well. But it wasn’t a glass that could
hold fourteen million pints he was after.

Spotting a sign, he headed for the gift shop
across from the atrium on the ground floor. Advertisements boasted
that he would find an emporium of treats. Though it referred to
casual wear and memorabilia exclusive to Guinness, the only treat
that interested Tomas was seeing Susanna.

Instead of barging into the shop and asking for
her, Tomas hung back. Intending to scope things out first, he
loitered outside. The retail shop was pretty busy with customers
browsing for souvenirs or gifts. But Susanna was not in sight.

Tomas went inside but stuck to the edge by the
windows. Several clerks assisted customers, but none of them were
the woman he looked for. Getting braver, Tomas went deeper into the
store. His pulse raced when he thought he saw her. But it was
another woman of similar build. Out of the corner of his eye, it
had looked like her for a second.

Maybe she wasn’t there after all. Tomas had to
know. He stepped up to the counter and asked a young clerk. “Maybe
I can help you,” she said. “Susanna is on break right now.”

He shook his head and backed away, disappointed.
It had taken him so long to get there she was already taking her
lunch break. Tomas would have to wait. Standing around in the shop
would eventually arouse curiosity. So he went back to the mall
area.

Glancing back, he hoped she would appear. But
she didn’t. Tomas took a few steps, unsure where to wait. He didn’t
want to be stationed at the front like he was anxious to see her.
Which he was. But he wanted to be more casual about it.

While he strolled, going nowhere really, he
looked up at the glass atrium. It was impressive. When he looked
back down, Tomas saw a guy not far off. He was average build, brown
shaggy hair, and wore a brownish thermal shirt.

The guy laughed and then leaned behind a pillar.
Tomas could tell he was with someone. Not wanting to be a voyeur,
he averted his gaze and kept walking. In his peripheral vision,
Tomas caught a glimpse of long reddish hair and he stopped
breathing.

It couldn’t be. He turned and stared. The couple
was hidden behind a wide stone barrier, but from his angle they
were visible. Tomas froze watching the guy touch her cheek and
brush her hair back from her face. He glared at Susanna, who was
oblivious to his presence.

The guy put his hand on her thigh and edged his
fingers up under her skirt, making her giggle. By the time he
leaned in for a kiss, Tomas had a fistful of the back of his shirt.
With one hand, he held the weaker rival away from Susanna. The look
on her face told him that she was horrified.

Whether it was because she was embarrassed, or
because he had interrupted the private encounter, he didn’t know.
Nor did he care. “Take a hike, buddy,” he said without looking away
from Susanna. He released the other guy’s shirt and saw him raise
his hands in the air. Reassured by the I-give-up motion, Tomas
focused on the woman in front of him.

“Friend of yours?” Tomas said tersely.

Susanna let out a heavy sigh.

He glared at her. “Seems he didn’t want to fight
for you.”

She moved away from the wall and began to pace.
“I don’t have any friends.”

Tomas rolled the stiffness from his shoulders.
“Hmph.”

Susanna lifted her hand. “And it’s none of your
business anyway.”

Tomas raised his eyebrows. “It’s not? Well, I
think it is. Especially after last night. Unless your memory fails
you, and you don’t remember being with me.”

She shook her head. “Just because we got high
together doesn’t mean we are going steady or something.”

“I didn’t know we were still in high school.”
Tomas stepped closer to her. “I don’t expect a woman I slept with
the night before to be in another man’s arms the next day.”

Susanna lifted her chin, not in the least
apologetic. “You don’t know me.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” Tomas looked at her,
seeing her vulnerability though she worked hard to hide it. “But I
plan to. Starting right now.”

Susanna rubbed her temple. “And just how do you
propose to do that?”

Tomas wanted to take her in his arms and protect
her from whatever it was that had her in its grip. But that was
premature. And he was ticked off. It didn’t matter that she had
issues. Letting another guy feel her up less than a day after he
had fucked her brains out was a pisser.

“I want to see you again,” he said sharply.

She shook her head. “You know my lifestyle. I
haven’t bullshitted you.”

“I don’t care, Susanna. You can’t scare me off,
as hard as you are trying to. I want to see you anyway.”

She exhaled, and twisted a strand of her hair in
her fingers. “This is a really bad idea.”

He shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

She looked at him, and he waited.

“Okay, Tomas. I will see you again. Though God
knows why.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “What do you
propose?”

“No getting high. It throws me off track.”
Tension eased out of his muscles. She was going to see him again.
“We are going to talk.”

Her eyes got big. “About what?”

“You.”

She threw her arms in the air. “Damn it, Tomas.
My life is none of your business.”

“I’m making it my business.” He shifted from one
foot to the other. “What time do you get off?”

“Five.”

“I’ll be here. I’m taking you to dinner.
Someplace quiet.”

She shrugged. “Do I have a choice?”

Tomas smiled. “Not really.”

Susanna looked into his eyes, and then she
smiled, just a little. But he saw it. “All right. I’ll see you at
five.”

He watched her stride off, admiring the sway of
her hips, and how her hair moved in the air. Susanna was one
gorgeous woman, and he knew he had only begun to tap into the
passion she had inside. But he would. If he could keep her from
being so casual with her body for long enough.

It was clear she didn’t see her value.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t give herself away with so little
discretion. There was something about her that he didn’t
understand, but he was determined to. There was a double standard
with men and women.

If Tomas slept around it was considered normal
for males. But if a woman did the same, she was considered a loose
woman. It was not respectable. The rationale was antiquated. Yet,
as unfair as that may be, he still couldn’t tolerate her in another
man’s arms.

Not anymore. Besides, even Tomas, who was as
prolific as the next man in the sexual arena, wouldn’t consider
having two different women in less than twenty-four hours.
Admittedly, he did in his fantasies, but not in reality.

When he took a woman to his bed, Tomas felt
something. It mattered. Even if he didn’t enter a long-term
relationship, he still cared about the woman. It had always been
that way for him. What was happening inside Susanna that the same
didn’t hold true for her?

If he had thought she really didn’t care, Tomas
would have walked away. Heartache or not, he would have been
history. But that wasn’t the case. When he held her in his arms in
the most intimate manner, Susanna experienced more sexual pleasure
than any woman he’d had the good fortune to know.

The fact was that she wasn’t happy. And that
hurt. Tomas did care about her. He cared about what happened to
her, and if nothing else, intended to see her shed the grief that
weighed her down. That was it. The grief. It was more than one
woman could handle alone. It was too much.

Now she didn’t have to deal with the burden by
herself. Tomas was there. He wasn’t prone to folding at the first
crisis. If Susanna thought he was fainthearted, she would soon
learn that wasn’t the case. Once he cared for a woman, he protected
her. And he had not cared for a woman before quite like he cared
for Susanna. But he knew he was in for a fight.

* * * * *

True to his word, Tomas was there a few minutes
before five to pick her up. All afternoon Susanna had worried about
getting together with him. It was only going to make things worse.
But then he just wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Also, she questioned her own intentions. Over
and over, she had tried to convince herself that she didn’t want to
see him again. It was a lie. Susanna wanted to see him, very much.
But she couldn’t change for him, and sooner or later, he would
expect her to.

Possibly over dinner she could convince him of
his bad choice. To pursue her would lead to unhappiness for Tomas,
instead of bringing joy to her life, as she knew he wanted to. It
was kind of him, and that was one thing that really got to her.

But it was too late. Maybe if she had met him
sooner, or wasn’t so set in her ways. Or if her adoptive parents
were still alive, Susanna might be able to grip onto the ledge and
pull herself up. As it was, she was slipping down the slope, and
though Tomas thought he could catch her, she knew differently.

And he persisted in telling her a fairy tale in
an attempt to persuade her that he was a prince and she was a
maiden. That would be nice. But life was harsh, and things didn’t
work out just because some romantic guy decided to play
pretend.

Yet he affected her. And that was what was
unsettling. Susanna needed to be strong. Send him away. Hadn’t she
tried? But Tomas wouldn’t listen. He must have a death wish,
because following her around would certainly lead him there.

And now, in an elaborate effort to woo her,
Tomas had brought her to one of the most charming restaurants in
Dublin. He was incorrigible. Plus he had to go and wear a light
green shirt that matched his eyes, and hung over his muscles just
so.

“Is this place okay?” He said it like a real
question.

“Of course,” Susanna said. “It’s perfect.
Although maybe it’s a bit too much. I thought we came to talk.”

His eyes sparkled in the candlelight. “We’ll
talk.”

The Irish restaurant was in an upstairs room
overlooking the Liffey River. The Winding Stair, named after the
Yeats poem, was both café and bookshop. The bookstore was
downstairs and had been a popular meeting place for writers,
musicians, and artists. Even movies had been filmed within its
walls.

Tomas studied the menu for a minute, and Susanna
studied him. He was a different sort of man, not easily controlled
or led around by a woman. She liked that, though she hadn’t run
into it before. It was puzzling, as her usual antics did not seem
to affect him as they did other men she had known.

“Would you like wine?” he said.

“Please.” If Susanna hadn’t known better, she
would have thought they were on a normal date, that she was a woman
like any other, with a handsome man courting her. Yet there was so
much more going on. Theirs was the dark side of romance, if
anything.

“How about this Syrah?” Tomas pointed at the
item on the wine list.

She nodded. “Sure, that’s okay. I don’t know
much about wine. I just drink it.”

Susanna looked around. The establishment
retained its timeless charm with stripped wood tables and floors,
and Bentwood café chairs. The building was an old tweed mill, and a
loom was displayed there, representing the Irish tradition of
hand-weaving.

Though the restaurant had been open for decades,
Susanna had only eaten there twice before. The food was
old-fashioned Irish home cooking, made with local produce. The last
time she had been there, it had been with the Peters. Joshua had
been a wine lover, and he had made a point to tell her about the
extensive wine list.

“They try to showcase some of the new and
emerging stellar boutique winemakers, from the new and old worlds,”
he had said. It didn’t mean much to her, but she could still hear
his voice. The way he said it, and his interest in the subject, had
intrigued her. But she had never pursued it. And her adoptive
father had met with a fatal accident not long after.

Tomas was looking at her. “What are you
thinking?”

She had drifted off. “Oh, just about my father,
Joshua.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“I miss him,” she said. “I miss both of them. A
lot.”

Tomas took her hand, but didn’t say anything.
Nothing he could say would make any difference anyway. It wouldn’t
take away the pain.

The wine was brought to the table, and after
Tomas sampled, the waiter filled their glasses. Tomas ordered the
plate of cured meats, olives, and homemade soda bread to go with
it. It appeared he planned to stay a while.

Susanna took a sip of her red wine and gazed at
the sights out the window. The bridge over the river was visible,
and upstairs as they were, she had a good view of it. She took
another sip of wine, letting the flavor roll over her tongue.

“What do you think of the wine?”

“Mmm. I like it.”

It was going to be difficult spending an evening
with Tomas and not falling prey to his pursuit of her. The man was
sexy, and being around him felt right. It was a deadly combination.
Every time she looked at him, it affected her.

She must have been out of her mind to have
agreed to dinner. Again.

“So, I guess you’re mad,” she said. Bluntness
was the only way she knew. Social etiquette had been sparse in her
upbringing, and tact was a skill that escaped her.

Subtly clenching his jaw, Tomas answered her.
“Yes, I am.”