Perfectly Flawed (23 page)

“Romantic. I’m your guy. I’ll buy you all the scampi you can eat.”

The dinner was romantic. Even Sean thought so. It was an evening he’d always remember. Adrianna glowed in the candlelight, and he never tired of her smile. The food was delicious, just as she had said. And the San Pellegrino with lime was pretty tasty, though beer would have been better.

At the end of the evening, Sean took Adrianna back to her aunt’s, something he delayed as long as possible. With her close, he felt whole; everything felt right. Without her, Sean felt lost. He had never felt that way before, but now he did. Nothing was the same without her, and he assured her that he’d be by the next afternoon. Forget the phone. He was fed up with that.

“Be ready. I’ll be here.”

Adrianna leaned up to kiss him, and Sean wrapped his arms around her. So far, the relationship had been like quicksilver, and reflecting on her unpredictability, an unwelcome thought nagged at him. He pushed it aside. Everything was okay now, and he’d make sure it stayed that way.

“Don’t be late,” she said, and went inside.

Sean stared at the closed door, resisting the impulse to go inside and get her. He didn’t want to leave. Slowly he turned and headed back to the car. It would go by fast; it was only a day. There was plenty of work to keep him busy and then they’d be together again. So why did his heart ache?

Does love always feel like this?
Sean didn’t know. He’d never been in love before. Adrianna was his first love. But he knew he’d never stop loving her—no matter how much it hurt.

Chapter 27

Sean did come back the next day, and the next. As the weeks went by, Adrianna’s trust built, and her life was more idyllic than she could have ever imagined. She was in love and felt it in every inch of her body. A warm feeling swelled her heart with joy and inspired hope.

The gash on her thigh had healed but left a scar. The permanent mark reminded her of the boundless love she felt for Sean. It was a symbol of how deeply he’d affected her and how it would be impossible to live without him. So impossible, that Adrianna was unable to envision a future without him.

Many times she’d confided in Cari, telling her that Kevin was a mistake. Her friend understood what had happened, and was appalled at the abusive behavior. But mostly, Adrianna talked about Sean. It had never felt right with men before, but now it did. When she was with Sean passion surged, and when they were apart he was never far from her mind.

Even her visit to his family’s home had gone well, and
Molli’s cooking was just as delicious as Sean had described. The Irish soda bread was memorable, so light and soft, and smothered in whipped butter it went down easily. Drinking her Coke, Adrianna had hovered in the kitchen, helping as she could to prepare the meal while the men entertained themselves in front of the television.

It was rare that she didn’t feel shy in social situations, but the visit to the Reid home was an exception. Patrick had chatted with her about graphics, apparently familiar from teaching his young students the basics. And
Bradan was just as down to earth as his brother, comfortable to be around, and he treated Adrianna like part of the family. She wondered if Sean had any idea how lucky he was to be raised in such a warm environment with such wonderful parents.

The season moved well into spring, and the weather warmed. Adrianna’s jogs were part of her regular routine. Flowers bloomed and the trees turned many shades of green. Ivy-covered brick walls came to life with bright leaves. Red, pink, yellow, and orange tulips decorated gardens behind iron fences. There were even purple tulips that looked almost black. And lilacs perfumed the air with a delicate fragrance she loved to breathe in as she jogged past.

It was spring and the cherry trees blossomed confetti-like flowers with an intense rose scent. The magnolia trees were covered in pink and white flowers exuding a heavenly aroma. They smelled like sweet candy, tart lemon, or even violet depending on time of day, air temperature, or the humidity. Along the cobblestone streets and brick sidewalks, the sight of flowering trees against the aged streets of Beacon Hill was utterly romantic.

*****

Not long after Adrianna’s visit with Sean’s family, he sat on a metal stool in his mother’s kitchen, leaning on the marble center island. Talking with his mother was something he’d always done; he didn’t need to think about it. She always had something cooking or could find something to reheat. Sean took a big bite of sausage and potatoes, following it with a swig of Irish red ale.

“Delicious, Mom,” he said through another mouthful of food.

“More?”

Sean nodded and his mother scooped more onto his plate.

Molli Reid wore a ruffled apron over her light blue shirt, bringing out her pale blue eyes. Her wavy brown hair was held up in a clip, and a few strands fell across her cheek that she kept pushing away with the back of her hand.

“I’m so glad we got to meet Adrianna. She’s a wonderful girl.”

Sean nodded again and held up his glass for more beer.

As his mother poured more ale for him, Sean couldn’t help but wonder what life would have been like for Adrianna if she’d had a mother like his.

“How was she with you? I mean, did you talk?”

“She seems a little shy.” His mother dumped some dishes into the sink and turned to look at him. “And a little…how shall I say this…timid, like she’s afraid of something.”

Sean’s mother knew people, and probably understood more than he did. “Yes, she is that way.” He thought of how to phrase his next comment. “She’s been abused,” he said, not knowing how to be anything other than direct.

Molli
raised an eyebrow. “Seems to fit.”

“Her father, I guess, mostly. She hasn’t told me everything, but I know he hit her. And then she was dating this real jerk and he started pounding on her.” Sean looked at his beer. “You know, Mom, that’s what I don’t get. Why would she go back to a guy who’d hit her? She broke if off, and then she went back.”

“That is hard. And it’s complicated.” She sat on a stool and folded her hands in her lap. “I don’t know her well enough to say for sure. But sometimes it’s self-esteem issue. A girl who has been abused is made to feel unworthy.”

Sean turned his beer glass around in his fingers. “Yes. I know her mother comes down on her a lot.”

“So that magnifies the issue—emotional abuse combined with the physical. And her confidence could be so eroded that Adrianna feels it’s all her fault in some way.”

“It worries me. She’s been fine recently. But she cuts. Or she has.”

“I don’t have experience with that.”

“I know a little about it. I did some research, you know, to help her. I need to know what I’m dealing with. Cutting makes the person feel a bit high, releases endorphins, like an intense workout would, and calms the body. One article I read said that abusive self-talk is immediately halted and the attention is shifted to the cut; it centers the person.

“I think Adrianna’s had to cope with feelings too difficult to bear, or something she felt unable to change. Something worse than I can imagine. That’s what makes it difficult to understand. I’ve never had to deal with issues like that. I’ve heard about it, but no one close to me has ever cut.”

“It’s good she has you, Sean. Otherwise…”

Sean looked into his mother’s eyes. “Otherwise what?”

“Just that a woman caught in a web of abuse…well, it can end badly.” She gazed off in the distance. “I never told you what happened to my younger sister.”

“She died back in Ireland?”

“Not just that. Her husband abused her for years. But I could never save her. No matter how many times he hurt her, Evelyn would go back. He’d apologize, be sweet to her, and promise it would never happen again.”

“What happened?”

“His abuse was humiliating, and I think she was ashamed. Over the years, it made her feel like less of a person…less of a woman. She even told me it was her fault, that she provoked him, that she deserved it.”

Molli looked up, her expression sad. “Once she did try to leave, but he came after her. And the abuse got worse. After that, I think she was too afraid to leave. Then one night she was taken to emergency with a head injury. He told the doctors she fell down the stairs, but I know that wasn’t true.

“She died, Sean.
Of physical abuse. We could never prove anything. Evelyn had never filed complaints against her husband. There was no evidence, or not enough. But
I know
. I know what happened.”

Sean stroked his mother’s arm. “I had no idea.”

“No, we never told you boys. There was no reason to.” She looked at him, serious. “Don’t let anything happen to her, Sean. If you care about her, keep her safe.”

“I will. I promise you, I won’t let anything happen. She’s with me now.” Looking into his mother’s eyes, he said, “I love her, Mom. I really do.”

*****

Adrianna couldn’t imagine what was so important that she had to go see her mother. She’d rather keep working, and was making good progress on several projects for her clients. Her mother had said it was an urgent matter, leaving Adrianna no choice but to meet with her. Hopefully it would be quick. Sean usually phoned late in the day and she didn’t want to miss his call. She was looking forward to seeing him.

After pulling into the driveway of the family home, Adrianna got out of the red car and didn’t bother to lock it. She had made a point not to come home since she’d moved to Krista’s, and now she knew why. The sight of the familiar brick multi-story home was oppressive. The urge to turn and run was strong.

But she was an adult and should be able to have a civil conversation with her own mother. That is, if her mother could speak civilly. Adrianna reached for the doorknob of the ominous wooden front door and regretted her decision to come over. She should have just said no. What could be so important that they couldn’t talk on the phone?

The entryway felt sterile and smelled of her mother’s favorite air freshener. It smelled more like stale socks than the rose garden scent it claimed on the label. Adrianna walked into the enormous kitchen, noting the contrast between it and Molli’s. At the Reid home, the kitchen had been warm and inviting, a place for good food and conversation.

Hannah’s kitchen was pristine, like something in a home and garden magazine. The stainless steel appliances were spotless, the gleam near blinding under the bright overhead lights. The blond wood cupboards extended all the way to the ceiling, looming high and somewhat intimidating. Adrianna sat in one of the hard wooden stools at the massive granite counter.

Her mother made a grand entrance in designer slacks and a sleeveless top, wearing a bit too much jewelry. Clearly she was overdressed for a casual discussion with her daughter. But then, that was how she always dressed, as
you never know who might drop by
. Always her mother’s focus was other people and what they might think. It never ended.

“Adrianna.
I see you made it.”

“Yes, Mother. I can’t imagine why you had to talk to me in-person.” Adrianna looked at her mother’s pale skin, smoothed to perfection with expensive foundation. There was no warmth there, and she wondered if there was a real woman underneath.

Hannah fluffed her blond hair, ensuring it was just so. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. Let’s just get this over with.” Adrianna sat up straight, unable to relax in a place that held unsavory memories.

Hannah poured some tea in a glass and sat across from her daughter. “See, that’s one thing we need to talk about. Your attitude.”

“I’m not a child anymore. I didn’t come over to discuss my attitude.”

“So why won’t you see Kevin?”

“Oh, Mother, please. Not this again.” Adrianna wished Kevin would just leave her alone. He kept sending flowers, and even notes. Uninterested in him or his apologies, Adrianna had ignored it all, and never returned his calls.

“You mistreat him.”

“No, I’m just not interested in him. Can we move on?”

“You should be. A boy like Kevin, willing to take you. And even after how you’ve acted towards him.”

“Unless you have some other reason you dragged me over here, I’m going to go.” Adrianna started to stand, but fell back to the chair when she saw her father enter.

She hated her father. And she was afraid of him. Frozen to the chair, she waited for him to speak.

Mathew Brooks cut an imposing figure in his pricey charcoal suit. His brown hair was gelled in a stiff business style that said
investment banker
. He’d grown a beard that was perfectly trimmed and had put on a few pounds since Adrianna had last seen him. But it was the eyes that startled her.

After all these months, the look in his eyes said he never forgot. When she was a child, those cold blue eyes had terrified her. Now, nineteen years old, her reaction was not that different. Her father had no smile for her. His jaw was set, and his eyes pierced to her soul.

“Adrianna.” He didn’t touch her or hug her. Her father stood there, glaring. “How have you been?”

“I’m fine.” Adrianna looked away, hardly breathing.

“Okay, well, I have some work to do in my office. I’ll let you ladies talk.”

He left the room, leaving Adrianna trembling, mostly from rage. That was the emotion her father aroused in her.

“Are we done, Mother?”

In a low voice, Hannah said, “No, we’ve barely started.”

Adrianna looked at her, wishing to be anywhere else but back at home.

“You’re a disappointment to us, Adrianna.”

Adrianna started to argue, but her mother held up her hand. “No, just wait. I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

A feeling of foreboding unsettled Adrianna and knotted her stomach.

“Kevin will have a good career in investment banking once he graduates from college. Despite your demeaning attitude, it seems he would still like to take you out. You should be flattered.”

It was all too much. “I’m not
flattered
. I’m annoyed. I wish he would leave me alone, and I wish you would too.”

“So you can go off with whoever you like?”

Adrianna glared at her.

“Sean Reid, for example?”

Just hearing her mother voice the name of the man she loved made Adrianna’s blood boil. “It’s none of your business.”

“Oh, it is, Adrianna. And I won’t allow you to ruin our reputation in this community. It has to stop. All our friends wonder what has happened to you. You’re never at any of the functions, and I have to tell them that you are staying with your aunt.

“That’s bad enough, but you refuse to go to college. And now you’re seeing an Irish boy. Nobody knows his family, and he’s Catholic, for God’s sake. It’s an embarrassment.”