Perfectly Honest (7 page)

Chapter 11

happenstance horoscope

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Refuse to let an emotional incident stand between you and your success. A change of attitude and innovative methods will help you change your earning potential, allowing you greater freedom.

Mikaela pulled into Sam’s driveway and parked the car. It was just a little after seven. It had been a long afternoon, and she had finished the clinic and all the paperwork that went along with it just twenty minutes ago.

She was tired and hungry . . . and tired. Driving over, she wondered why she thought they needed to talk. She could have sent a text to break up. Apparently couples did it all the time. As the afternoon wore on and her energy wore out she began to see the value. Break up and carry on. That should be her new mantra. They weren’t even really together. So texting to break up made even more sense.

So why did the idea depress her? Maybe it wasn’t the idea of breaking up that sat on her shoulders like a heavy weight. Although that did sting. Really, what made her sad was how her clinic and operating time could be given away so easily. No discussion, no warning, just boom. Gone. She thought she had been a valuable member of the department. She pulled her weight, had expertise, even went beyond the call of duty. On-call deliveries, emergency clinics, meetings, undergraduate teaching. She did it all. And did she ever complain? No. But the minute a new fellow needs clinic space and operating room time, she gets bumped. No discussion. The decision has been made. There’s the door.

It was embarrassing and humiliating. That pretty much summed it up. She was embarrassed and humiliated and now she had to go and air it with Sam. So what was more embarrassing and humiliating than losing her hospital privileges? Discussing it with the person who dumped her after sleeping with her.

Great. Won’t this be a fun evening? Mikaela thought as she dragged herself out of the car.

To make matters worse, even if she did tell Dr. Scott that she and Sam were no longer engaged, it might not make a difference. If he made promises to the new fellow, it might not matter one iota what her plans were. There might be no going back.

It just gets better and better, she thought drearily.

Mikaela thought about turning around and heading home. Except he promised pizza. She was hungry and it was the least he could do.

She knocked on the front door.

Sam pulled open the door. He’d heard the car pull up and wondered why it was taking her so long to come to the door. He thought she would be bouncing with energy and gloating about the offer she was given. The sarcastic comment died on his lips when he looked at her.

She looked pale and tired, with dark circles under her eyes. Her slumped shoulders and unhappy eyes were the exact opposite of what he expected.

Sam cocked his head to one side. “Tough day?”

Mikaela straightened her shoulders. “I’ve had better,” she said. “But I’ve had worse.”

Sam widened the door and gestured her inside. “I can take your jacket,” he offered, as she stepped inside.

Mikaela looked around as Sam hung up her jacket. “Nice paint job.”

“I’ve wondered about that. Is your partner a neurologist? Dermatologist?”

Mikaela laughed. “She could be. Margo is a businesswoman and an artist. We started the painting business in undergrad.”

“Why were you here painting?” Sam asked, thinking about how it all started.

“Margo needed a hand. She doesn’t ask for favors very often, well ever, really. But the woman who started the painting fell and hurt herself while Margo was out of town. They were under a deadline, so she called me to help out. I just came over and finished the bedroom.” She shrugged.

Yeah, and now every time he looked at the new paint color in the bedroom, he thought of her. It was driving him crazy. He couldn’t get her out of his mind. “You did a great job. It looks professional.”

“Still got my skills,” she quipped with a grin.

“For that and a few other things besides,” Sam agreed, skimming his glance over her face and focusing on her lips.

Mikaela looked away and changed the subject. “We should talk about Emerson.”

“Sure. Let’s go to the kitchen. The pizza just arrived and I’m going to grab a beer. You want anything?” he asked casually at the risk of her wrath over making it a date.

She sighed. “Pizza sounds great.”

“Want a beer?” he asked, “or a glass of wine?”

“I’d better not. Water or a soft drink would be great if you have it,” she said as she followed him into the kitchen.

“Are you on call?”

“No, not tonight. I’ve actually signed out to another OB. I just don’t want to drink and drive.”

Or fall asleep at the wheel, Sam thought as he loaded two plates with pizza.

Mikaela looked around the kitchen curiously. Dark cherry mahogany cabinets gleamed in an efficient space interspersed with stainless steel appliances. Buttery yellow Silestone countertops brightened the kitchen, complemented the faint burgundy of the cabinets and made the traditional look of the cabinets feel modern. “Did your brother have a hand in the design of this kitchen, too?”

Sam looked around, surprised. “No, it’s the work of the previous owners. I didn’t change anything.”

“It’s beautiful. Traditional with a sunny feel,” she said. She pulled out a bar stool and sat at the counter to watch.

“Help yourself to a soft drink from the mini-fridge there,” he said and pointed to a drinks fridge tucked away at the end of the counter. “Or would you prefer water?” he asked as he set a plate in front of her.

“Water would be great.” She inhaled appreciatively at the steaming pizza, fully loaded.

Sam poured her a drink and came around to sit beside her. “Enjoy,” he said as he tucked in.

They ate in silence for the first few bites.

“So you must be pleased with the job offer from Emerson,” Mikaela said, her tone faintly sarcastic.

Sam shrugged, thinking of the raw deal. “Be better if it didn’t come with a price.”

“What price?”

Sam ignored the question. “You must be pleased with the offer you received?” he suggested, trying to temper the bitterness.

“Pleased? I didn’t want an offer. I wasn’t looking for change. I didn’t expect to be put in the middle of this mess.”

“What? It’s a great opportunity. It’s a great community hospital. They want you to be the head of the department. They want to give you a free hand to redesign the obstetrical suite. And you get as much OR time as you want. What more could you possibly want?”

“To be the one who initiated the change. To have a choice.”

“Seriously? You’re given a golden opportunity and all you can do is moan that you didn’t have to work for it? Yeah, poor you.” He rolled his eyes.

Mikaela wiped her mouth, threw down the napkin, and sat straighter in her chair. “I was told today that as of November first, I no longer have clinic.” She ticked each finger. “Or operating time at St. Peter’s. I lost my job. And what about you? You get what you want, even if it means lying and cheating. So fine. You got what you wanted. You got your precious job in Emerson. But I am not going to continue in this web of lies and deceit—”

“Really?” He picked up his beer and waved it at her. “This from the woman who poses as a painter and ends up delivering a baby in the restaurant foyer. You’re accusing me of lying?” Sam took a swig of beer and set the bottle down with a snap.

“I did not lie,” she said with gritted teeth.

Sam took a deep breath and leaned back. “Look, like it or not, you’re in this with me.”

“Not.”

“What?”

“Not. I like it NOT.”

Sam shook his head. “Yeah, I get that. You’re unhappy. But my offer from Emerson is contingent on you going, too.”

“Not my problem. Tell them we broke up.” She shrugged.

“Fine. Then we’re both out of a job. Is that what you want?” He raised his hands in frustration.

Mikaela sat, fuming.

“Look. I’m not happy about how this turned out either,” he said, more calmly. “But let’s make the best of it.”

Mikaela snorted.

“Let’s accept the offer from Emerson,” Sam suggested. “We’ll give it a bit of time. I’ll be able to get established and you can give this change a chance. If you hate it, I’ll help you get your job back here.”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know,” Sam said, rubbing a hand over tired eyes. “Three months, six months?”

“My time went to a new fellow who’s supposed to be here for a year.”

“Give it a year, then. Talk to your department head. Tell him that you’d like to take a year to decide if you like the smaller community. Ask him to give you first pass on the time when the fellow’s year is up. Would he go for that?”

“Maybe,” Mikaela admitted. “So much could happen in a year though.”

“Have you considered that some change is good?”

Mikaela was silent. “I’ll reserve judgment. What about our ‘engagement’?”

“Might be easier to continue with that,” Sam said thoughtfully. It didn’t have anything to do with the fantastic sex or the need to see her, the fact that he enjoyed her company, he told himself. It just fit the plan. “Then if you do decide at some point that you don’t like Emerson,” he said, not really understanding how she couldn’t like the sweet deal she’d been given, “we can ‘break up’ and you can use it as an excuse to come back. There’s lots of room at my house.”

Mikaela looked at him. “So we would live together at your place.”

Sam nodded.

“You wouldn’t mind us being together 24-7?”

Sam hardened at the thought and took a swig of beer. “No. Would it be a problem for you?”

“We spent a weekend together and after I left, you didn’t call. I didn’t hear from you until this,” she waved her hand in the air, “fiasco unfolded. So I’m a little surprised that you’re suggesting I move in with you.”

Sam tried to downplay it, not wanting to scare her off, appreciating how much he needed her to agree. “Sure. It’s a business arrangement.” He shrugged. Didn’t seem like a good time to mention that he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head. That he hadn’t wanted to go out with anyone since. That she was all he thought about. And that he wasn’t entirely comfortable with any of it.

“A business arrangement,” she repeated. “So all we share is space?”

“Sure.”

Mikaela hid her disappointment. Obviously the mind-blowing sex they shared wasn’t so mind blowing to him. She was just one of many. And apparently not the best. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll see you on November first in Emerson.” She finished her drink and stood up, trying to muster up some dignity. She made her way to the front door with Sam trailing.

“Mikaela?” Sam said as he held out her coat.

She turned to him as she shrugged into her coat.

“Thanks.”

Mikaela just nodded and headed out. She drove home blindly, feeling numb.

She pulled into her driveway and unlocked the door from the garage. Throwing her coat on the hook, she turned off the light and climbed wearily upstairs to her bedroom. She peeled off her clothes, slipped into comforting flannel, brushed her teeth and fell into bed.

Her weary brain ached to settle. So to summarize, she thought tiredly, she’ll be losing the security of her old job, moving to a new town, changing to a new hospital with new routines, new staff, and more call. She’ll have more responsibility as department head, more meetings, greater challenges, and more decisions to make as she becomes responsible for creating a new delivery suite. And she’ll be living with Sam. A shiver ran through her at the thought. He was so damn sexy. But it was a business arrangement. So she’ll pretend to be in love with him to everyone else and pretend not to be in love with him, to him. For a year.

Sounded sufficiently complicated.

No wonder she feared change.

Chapter 12

Zodiac Zach – Don’t leave home without him.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Someone from your past will influence your future. Put greater emphasis on making personal changes that boost your confidence and make you feel good. Make time for pampering.

Mikaela settled back in the lounger and took a sip of the fruity ice drink decorated with a little umbrella and a mango-pineapple garnish. “Oh, that’s delicious,” she said, enjoying the sweet taste and the kick from the alcohol. She looked out at the turquoise water lapping up gently on the white sand, her whole body relaxed. “This is an island paradise,” she said to Margo, who sat beside her slathering sunscreen on her arms and legs.

“I’m so glad we could get away,” Margo commented. “I love it here. Here,” she said to Mikaela, tossing her the sunscreen. “You should use this, too. It’s lovely in the shade, but the sun is still pretty hot.”

“I know,” Mikaela said, grabbing the lotion. She set her drink down on a small table between them and smeared sunscreen on the exposed skin around her bikini. “Our last day – it would be a shame to get a sunburn now.”

“We really have to go home tomorrow?” Margo asked as she adjusted her sunglasses.

“’Fraid so. And Monday I start at Emerson,” Mikaela said with a sigh.

“How’s all that going?” Margo asked, grateful for the opening. Mikaela hadn’t wanted to talk about it all week and Margo was getting worried about her. Mikaela had held her last clinic at St. Peter’s on the Friday before they left, and she had been quiet and sad the first couple days of the holiday.

“It’s going,” Mikaela admitted. “Privileges for Emerson went through a few weeks ago. I’ve given them a template for booking the clinics. The first week will be light so I can meet the staff and get used to the setup. So that will be good. They’ve put together a committee for the upgrades of the obstetrical suite. I’ve met with them a couple of times already, and we’ve corresponded by email.”

“How does that look? Is it a big job?” Margo asked.

“Actually, it looks great. They’re really serious about going ahead with it. There are enough people involved to have some practical and unique input and not so many that a consensus is never reached. They’ve already got architects drawing up floor plans and an engineering firm hired. I think it will be a big job, but at least it feels like time spent on it is worthwhile. If I make suggestions, they incorporate the ideas.”

Margo burrowed her feet in the sand, enjoying the feel of the hot surface and the cool relief of the deeper sand. “Sounds exciting. So how come you don’t sound more excited?” she asked gently.

Mikaela winced. “I’m excited. Of course, I’m excited,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I be excited?” Mikaela added, shielding her eyes as she rested her head against the back of the chair.

“Good question. Why aren’t you?” Margo picked up her drink from the table and slid the kiwi garnish off the skewer.

Mikaela was silent for a moment. “It’s a big change. What if I don’t like it? What if they don’t like me? What if it turns out to be too much responsibility?” She glanced over at Margo with worry in her eyes.

Margo shrugged. “You delegate what you don’t have time for or what you don’t want to make time for. If you try it and don’t like it, you move. And,” she said with a smile, “it’s pretty unlikely they won’t like you. You’re a likeable person.”

Mikaela smiled back. “Thank you,” she said batting her eyelashes. Then she sobered. “It’s just such a lot to take in. I feel overwhelmed.”

“Take one day at a time. Look forward to the challenge each day, and believe in yourself. You can do this, you know. You deliver babies for a living. Seems to me
that
comes with a lot more responsibility than organizing a department, meeting new people, and setting up a clinic.”

She stirred her drink with the straw and continued. “You’ve always been a great team player, and you’ll shine as a leader. And that’s not something St. Peter’s would have ever offered.”

Mikaela stared at Margo. “Th—Thanks. It means a lot to me that you think that,” she said slowly.

“Of course,” Margo said, brushing it aside. “And when you hire someone to paint the new suite, I’ll expect a call.”

“Of course.” Mikaela laughed.

“What did you decide to do with your condo?” Margo asked.

“I’m keeping it. Sam refused to take any money for rent or utilities.”

“So basically you’re going to be a kept woman.” Margo raised her eyebrows and peered over the rim of her sunglasses.

“Yes, thank you for pointing that out. I am. But, the benefit is I can justify keeping my condo. Just in case . . .”

“Just in case?”

“Just in case I end up having meetings in the city or want to get away for a weekend. Or party with you.” She grinned.

Margo grinned back and clinked the glass she was holding against Mikaela’s. “I can drink to that,” she said, taking a sip of the lime cooler. “Have you moved your stuff to Sam’s yet?”

“No, I’ll pack the car and move it on Sunday when I go.”

“How has Sam been with all of this?” Margo asked.

“I don’t really know,” Mikaela said, looking out at the cloudless blue sky. “We haven’t spoken since I told him I would go along with it. I assume he’s happy about it. It’s what he wanted.”

“You haven’t spoken to him since you agreed with it? Wasn’t that like a month and a half ago?”

“Yup. Guess he’s been busy. I know I’ve been.”

“What?” Margo asked, feigning shock. “Here you’re ‘engaged,’” she said, making air quotations, “to Dr. Eye Candy and you haven’t spoken to him in over a month. Girl, what are you thinking? I’d be acc-sex-ing those marital rights of mine, if I were you.”

Mikaela laughed and shook her head. “I have no intention of acc-sex-ing anything. This is a business arrangement. We’ll play it out for now, but when we break it off, and we will break it off eventually, I don’t want to get hurt or have any regrets.”

“But that’s exactly my point. You should go for it, girl. Seize the day. You don’t want to regret a missed opportunity. He could probably teach you a thing or two.” Margo winked.

“He probably could,” Mikaela agreed. “And that’s the problem. He’s a player and wouldn’t ever settle for just me, and I’m not willing to share. It’s better all round to avoid it altogether.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that. But you know what they say about trying to have just one potato chip?”

“What?” Mikaela asked with a smirk.

“Once you’ve tasted their crunchy goodness, you have to have another, and before you know it the whole bag is gone.”

“Good to know,” Mikaela said, laughing and shaking her head. “I won’t buy any potato chips.”

“I think it’s a little late for that. Have you told Sam about your parents yet?” Margo asked, eyeing the bodyguard who stood discreetly out of their view. It had taken a few trips to get used to the constant shadow, but now Margo was resigned to his presence whenever she traveled with Mikaela.

“No. Well, I’ve mentioned my dad’s retired,” Mikaela corrected.

“Your dad will never retire.”

“Well, technically, he is retired. I just didn’t mention from what, and Sam didn’t ask.”

“I’m surprised your dad didn’t send out a team to check the security of Sam’s place.”

“He probably did. Or at least checked into Sam. But I haven’t heard anything from him, and Sam’s security is top-notch. As good, if not better, than my condo’s.”

“How much did you tell your parents?”

“I told them I was accepting a position at Emerson as the department head. They were thrilled for me.”

“Naturally.”

“And that I was moving in with Sam.”

“Little trickier.”

“Yes. They were pretty good about it. They did say they want to meet him at Christmas, though,” Mikaela said, wincing.

“So you have two months.”

“I figure by then, Sam will be secure in his new position, and we won’t have to pretend we’re engaged. I’ll have a better idea about what I want to do, and who my father is won’t be an issue.”

“You’re going to lie.”

“No,” Mikaela said heatedly. “I won’t lie to Sam.”

“You’re just going to skirt around the issue.”

“I like to think of it as the ‘need to know’ rule. If he needs to know, I’ll tell him.”

“But right now, he doesn’t need to know,” Margo surmised.

“Exactly.”

Margo was silent.

Mikaela sighed. “What? I can sense your disapproval.”

“Not really,” Margo countered. “But don’t you run the risk of getting into trouble by not being perfectly honest?”

Mikaela huffed. “You mean like exhibit A. The last time I used the ‘need to know’ rule, I ended up losing my job at St. Peter’s, was coerced into accepting a position at Emerson where I’m going to have more responsibility, which potentially, and stressfully I might add, might be over my head. Plus I have a fake engagement with Sam, who, after having a mind-blowing weekend of sex, told me I could move in with him as a ‘business arrangement.’ You mean like that?”

“Ah, yeah,” Margo agreed reluctantly.

“Yes, there is potential for trouble. But I don’t care.”

“Not every man is like Elliott,” Margo said quietly.

“Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn’t matter. One thing I can say about myself is that I learn from my mistakes. Elliott was a mistake, and I won’t go through that again. Sam doesn’t need to know about my father.”

“I hear you. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Margo said, squeezing Mikaela’s hand. She hoped it wasn’t too late.

“Thanks Margo. I promise to be careful.

“Come on,” Mikaela said, grabbing Margo’s hand and tugging her up. “A wise person told me to seize the day. Let’s go cool off and enjoy the surf. No more worries about tomorrow.”

“Woohoo,” Margo yelled. “Race you to the water.”