Permanent Resident at the Purse Table (6 page)

Ava, now on her third glass of Chardonnay, moved from the kitchen table to a soothing bathtub full of bubbles surrounded by candlelight. The Japanese cherry blossom aroma amused her nose and assisted in relaxing her muscles. Toni called earlier, but she let her voicemail do the work. Toni must've made it to Miami in one piece, but Ava wasn't in the mood to divulge her and Xavier's demeaning argument details and near-sex experience. Her friend would definitely have a thing or two to say about that. Ava would be sure to call her tomorrow.

As she reached for her glass, her cell phone went off again.
What is this? The party line?
Her mother's picture appeared on the screen, and since two weeks had gone by without Ava talking to her, she answered it.

“Hey, Ava. Hadn't talk to you in a while.”

“I've been busy, Momma. I was going to call you tomorrow and wish you a happy Valentine's Day. How've you and Daddy been?”

“We're blessed and highly favored. How are things with Xavier?”

Ava's head fell. She had a choice to make: lie and tell her everything was great and have a peaceful chat; or tell her the truth, and deal with her mother putting in her two cents. Who was she kidding? More like twenty-two cents. Ava had consumed enough wine to handle the conversation. “I guess he's fine, Ma. I broke it off with him.”

“You did? Why?”

“I don't want to go into specifics right now. He's just not good for me.” Couldn't she trust her daughter's judgment just once?

“He loved you, didn't he?”

“I don't think I'd call it love.”

“Well, what happened?”

Ava rolled her eyes so hard they hurt. “He's just not for me.”

“What you gon' do now?”

“I was fine before him and I'll be fine after him.” Was she helpless? Did she need her name added to the “sick and shut-in” list at church?

“Yeah, but I ain't gettin' any younger. Am I ever going to see you get married?”

“Really, Momma?”

“I'm serious. Your brother's been married for almost two years, he just got a promotion at his job, and he and Elaine are now trying to have a baby.” She smacked her lips. “I was hoping to at least see my other child get married before I died.”

“Well, I guess it just ain't my time yet.”

“Ava, you too picky. A girl your size can't be all that high and mighty.”

If you weren't my mother, I'd be hanging up now.
“How about somebody who treats me right, Momma? Is that being too picky?”

“He couldn't have done anything that terrible. Every time I seen him, he treated you fine.”

Wishing she had never answered the phone, her euphoric feeling from the wine started to wear off. “Momma, I gotta go.”

“Don't get off now, Ava. I'm trying to help you. You have such a pretty face, but no one can see that. If you lost some weight, then you'd have a whole sea of fish to choose from.”

What was God's punishment for cussing your momma out? There was that scripture about honoring your father and mother. “I really need to get off the phone. Now. Tell Daddy I said hi, and y'all have a good night.”

“Okay, Ava. I love you and just want what's best for you.”

“Love you too.”

Ava tossed her cell phone into a pile of dirty clothes that lay on her bathroom floor. She lifted the bottle of wine off the ground and refilled her glass. After taking a lengthy sip, she set the glass on the edge of the tub and turned on the hot water. The noise of the water raging out of the faucet could drown out her mother's opinionated words.

Immersing her body farther into the water, she tried to see how long she could hold her breath.
I should just drown myself right now.
It was no wonder Ava thought the way she did. As far back as she could remember that was her mother's MO. Break her down, break her down, break her down. Would there ever be a time when she'd build her up?

She spent a few more minutes in her pity pool party, then climbed out of the tub and put on her bathrobe. Blowing out each candle, she managed to brush her hair into a ponytail. A booming knock at the front door swallowed up the space in her apartment. Ava almost jumped out of her robe. It was eleven o'clock at night. She was expecting to crawl into bed, not have visitors.

“Ava!” a man's muffled voice called from the other side of the door.

“Ava! Open up. It's me, Ishmael.”

What was he doing at her place at this time of night? “Just a minute.” She looked through the peephole, secured the knot in the robe straps across her waist, and cracked the door open.

“I'm sorry, Ava, but have you seen Rene?”

“What?”

“Have you seen or talked to Rene?”

“No, I haven't.” Hopefully, she finally decided to kick him to the curb. “But you can't come up here yelling like that. I have neighbors.”

“I'm sorry. Can I come in for a minute? I don't know where else to go to try to find her.”

She reluctantly allowed him to enter her apartment. “Wait a minute. Let me get decent.” Ishmael took a seat on the couch as Ava disappeared into her room. It was too late to be playing counselor for the struggling couple. She would do her best to help him and send him on his way. Her day had been stressful enough without adding Ishmael and Rene's issues.

When she returned in shorts and a T-shirt, he stood up. “Thank you for letting me in. I've been to her house, her office, and her parents' home. I even went to 24 Hour Fitness. You know she likes to work out when she gets upset. I've called her I don't know how many times and she won't answer.” He seemed on the verge of tears. Or maybe an angry breakdown. Ava couldn't be sure which way he was headed.

She put her hand up. “Start from the beginning. What did you do?”

“We got into it earlier over her car being towed.”

“Y'all were making up when I left you at the mall.”

“Yeah, well, everything was cool then, but when we went to my mom's house to drop her car back off, Rene found some mail with Shanice's address.”

“And let me guess. That's where you were when her car got towed?”
Idiot.

He looked down at his feet. “I went to pick up Li'l Man, and I didn't want to tell Rene because I knew she'd get upset.”

“How'd that work out for you?”

“Dang, Ava. I know, but you don't have to be so cold.”

“Sorry, that's the wine talking. Would you like some?”

“No, thanks. I'm good.”

“Let me get my phone and try to call her.” Leaving him in the living room, she searched among the pile of her unmentionables. After she found her phone, Ava picked up the glass of wine and returned to Ishmael, who was staring at his phone.

“Crap! She will not pick up.” He threw his cell on the couch along with his red and blue Houston Texans hat. “Ava, did you call yet?”

“Yep, same thing. It goes straight to voicemail.”

“I mean, doesn't she know how I feel about her? I can't control what Shanice does or doesn't do. It's all about Li'l Man for me.”

“She's hurt right now. Give her time. You sure you wouldn't you like something to drink? Wine, water, coffee?”

“No, I'm fine.”

Ava moved into the kitchen to put her glass in the sink. As she stepped from the carpet to the tile, the glass slipped out of her hand, shattering on the floor. “Dat gum it!”

Ishmael rushed to the doorway. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I'm okay. I've obviously had too much to drink.”

“Let me help you.” He stepped over the mess and grabbed the broom from the corner of the kitchen. As he swept the broken pieces of glass, Ava took the paper towel roll off the metal holder and soaked up the wine.

She looked up at him. He was so quick to run to her aid. “I wish I had somebody to chase after me.”

“What about X?”

“He's not what I want. He puts me down every chance he gets.”

Ishmael raised the dustpan off the floor. “Puts you down? For what?”

“Depends on the day.” She sighed. “But mostly my weight.”

“Ava, you are beautiful inside and out. Don't ever believe anything different. I know guys like him. They don't amount to much. I'm surprised you don't have a line of men at your door.”

She laughed. “Thanks, but I'd need to lose fifty pounds first.”
Maybe more.

“No, you don't. Quit putting yourself down.” He smiled and emptied the glass out of the dustpan into the trash. “Believe me, if I wasn't with Rene, I'd try to holla.”

Ava smiled and tossed the wet paper towels in the wastebasket he held out for her. After putting everything back in its place, they made room at the sink for one another to wash their hands. Reaching for the dish towel at the same time, Ishmael pulled it closer to him. Ava pulled it back her way, dried her hands, and tossed the towel to him.

He placed the towel back on its hook and took hold of her hand. “Listen, Ava. You are special, and sooner rather than later, the right guy will come along and sweep you off your beautiful feet.”

“I'll let you tell it.”
If only that were true.
She shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

Ishmael grabbed hold of her arm and turned her back to face him. He ran his finger down her arm and caressed the inside of her palm. “No, I'm serious.” He stepped to Ava and kissed her on the lips.

Wait, what?
“Ishmael, what are you doing?”

“I want to show you how special you are.” His kisses moved to her neck. Strong traces of his cologne heightened the temptation. The warmth of his touch soothed every fiber in her body one by one. Ava felt secure and sexy, and more like a woman than she had in months. He wanted her.

The three glasses of wine, Ishmael's debonair looks, and Rene's description of his “good stuff” in the bedroom added up to the curious tension that took over Ava's motions. As she returned the affectionate gestures, she felt like a queen sitting on a pedestal. He led her down the hall to her bedroom, leading her down the wrong path in more ways than one, and closed the door behind them.

The morning sunlight wove in and out of the blinds. Ava lifted her head to look at her alarm clock. Before her eyes could focus on the numbers, the bell sound of her cell phone acted as an alarm. The upbeat ring didn't match her slothful disposition. She reached for the phone, and realized how much her head hurt.
I ain't drinking no mo'.
The text message read: Happy Valentine's Day, baby girl! Love you, Daddy

She set her cell down and turned over to look on the other side of the bed. Ishmael was nowhere in sight. A piece of paper rested in his vacant spot. Ava picked up the scrap paper and read it aloud. “Please don't tell Rene. I want to make things right with her. Act like nothing happened. Thanks.” She crushed the note and threw the ball of paper across the room.
This fool here. How could I sleep with Ishmael?

After all of her puffed-up talk about how much she wished Rene would leave him alone, Ava tested the waters and fell in. The deep end. That act of sin was wrong on so many levels. Striking herself in the head, she repeated, “What have I done?”

When she stopped beating herself up, her stomach sounded like a bulldozer riding over gravel. A bolder moved up her chest and into her throat. She dry heaved, covered her mouth, and then sprinted to the bathroom. As Ava kneeled in front of the shiny, white throne, the ice-cold floor cooled her skin. This would be a Valentine's Day she would never forget. How did this happen? One minute, she was chillin' in the tub alone with her thoughts and her wine, and the next, she was engaged in relations with Ishmael.

In between trips to the bathroom, she called in sick to work. She didn't want to look bad missing her first day of training for her new supervisor's position, but there was no way she could go in the office an emotional wreck with a hangover. Drinking the entire bottle of water from her nightstand, she paused. Returning Toni's call was the only thing she could think to do.

Toni's voicemail answered. Ava spoke with instability in her voice. “Hey, girl, sorry I missed your call last night. Wish I hadn't. I messed up, Toni. I messed up big time. Please give me a call as soon as you can.”

After replaying last night's scene in her head, she yanked the sheets and pillowcases from her bed. The pile of bedding covered her entire upper body as she blindly walked to the laundry room, and dropped the guilt-stained sheets in the washer. Cleaning up behind her mistake drained all of her energy.

Ava slumped into the couch and sat bewildered. Had Ishmael seen Rene yet? Ava knew sex outside of marriage was wrong, but she'd have been better off sleeping with Xavier. At least she wouldn't have hurt anyone but herself. This would destroy Rene when and if she found out. Ava needed to tell Rene herself, but had no desire to disclose the hurtful information.

The knock on her front door was like a hammer to her skull. When she looked out the peephole, she made out Rene's image. Ava's heart catapulted into her throat. Did Rene already know about the catastrophic indiscretion?

Ava wasn't prepared for this surprise visit whether Rene knew or not.
Get it together.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

“Hey, girl.” Rene handed her a cup of coffee. “I know you said you didn't have to be at work until ten, so I brought coffee and doughnuts.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost nine.”

“I'm not going in today.” Ava cleared her throat. “I called in sick.”

“I thought you didn't look too good.” Rene sat across from Ava. “What's the matter?”

You really don't want to know the answer to that question.
“I have a headache and my stomach is messed up, but I'll be fine.”

Rene scooped up the Texans hat on the arm of the couch. “Who's is this?”

A nervous heat ran through Ava's body. “Oh, that was Xavier's.”

“Ishmael has one just like it.”

Ava swiped the hat from Rene's hand. “Yeah, he must've left it over here yesterday when he came by.”
Just lying. Lord, forgive me. For everything.

“He came at you again? I guess he's not the giving up type.” Crossing her legs, Rene took a sip of coffee. “Anyway, girl, I had to tell you what I went through last night.”

Ava's ears perked up as heat flared around her neck. “Mmh?”

“You know after you left Ish and me at the mall, I followed him to his mom's house to drop off her car. Well, I saw some mail that Shanice had left over there for him.”

“Yeah?” This would be the second time Ava heard this story.

“Do you know it was the same address he got my car towed from? Can you believe that?”

“Really, girl?” Ava did her best to sound and act surprised.

“I mean he lied straight to my face. And more than once.” Rene blew the top of her coffee cup.

“So what'd you do?”

“I told him things are on hold for now. You know I can't feel good about marrying someone who can lie like that.”

Just wait 'til you hear what I have to tell you.
“And what did he say?”

“He couldn't say much. He got caught and I really wasn't trying to hear anything he had to say anyway. I told him to stay at his momma's house until further notice.” Rene bounced her fist off her thigh. “My mom told me not to let him move in. She always said shackin' up leads to no good. Why didn't I listen to her?”

“Well, y'all are supposed to get married in a few months. His lease was up so you probably figured why not.”

“I figured wrong. Guess what else I did last night?”

Ava's imagination and nerves scampered wild. “What?”

“I went to Shanice's apartment, and we had a little talk.”

“You did?”

“Yep. Ish kept blowing up my phone, but I was on a mission to get some answers. She turned out to be cooler than I thought. Even offered me a drink.”

Ava was taken back. “Offered you a drink?”

“Sure did. And I took it, too. I needed something to calm me down.”

“What'd she have to say?”

Rene took a deep breath. “She basically said all their conversations are about Isaiah. And Ishmael did get a change of address, but he still receives mail there every once in a while. Old creditors and stuff like that. I guess he was telling the truth about their relationship, but why couldn't he just be upfront with me? No need for all the secrecy.”

Ava got to what she really wanted to know. “Have you spoken to him since then?”

“Nope. And don't plan to. Suffering a little will hopefully make him understand we're supposed to be in this together and to quit hiding stuff from me. I'll talk to him soon enough. And call the wedding back on too. I just want him to think about some things for a bit.” She brushed her hair back. “He hasn't called me at all today. I guess he's getting the hint.”

Ava half-smiled. “Mmh.”

Rene's ringtone pierced Ava's ears. After Rene viewed the screen, she said, “Speak of the devil.”

Ava looked into Rene's eyes. “And he shall appear.”

“I'm going to take it. You mind?”

Yes, I do.
“No, I don't mind.” Hoping Rene didn't say anything about being at her place, Ava's ears strained to hear any bits of the conversation.

This was not the time to say anything to Rene about the night before. She'd pray about it first, and ask God to make crooked places straight. Would He really listen to her though after her actions? If He didn't want to make the situation better or want her to literally lie in the bed she'd made, then He could at least give her the courage to do the right thing and tell Rene herself. Ava just needed to wait until the time was right. A public setting would be best, or at least have Toni present. But now was definitely not the time.

Rene closed her cell phone and gathered her belongings. “I'm going to take off, girl. He has a lot of explaining to do, so I guess I can let him get to it.”

“But you just said—”

“I know what I said, but I might as well hear him out.” Rene grabbed Ava by the arm and ushered her toward the bedroom. “But before I leave, I'm going to put some chicken soup in the crock pot. That way, it'll be there warm when you're ready.”

Ava zoomed past Rene to her bedroom.
Which way did I throw Ishmael's note?
If Rene came in her room for any reason, Ava did not need her finding that balled-up piece of paper. She dashed over to her TV stand and peeked underneath the piece of furniture and behind the stereo speakers. Nothing. Fumbling through a basket of clothes, the sounds of Rene opening soup cans and banging the cabinets closed fueled her fear. Her heart pounded the inside of her chest.

A piece of paper rested by her desk. Her hopes fell when she opened the folded paper and read the work schedule she printed out the day before. The room could use some tidying up.

She spotted the balled-up paper in the corner by the window. Rene's footsteps approached as Ava hustled to conceal the evidence. She kicked the paper underneath the heavy cherry wood dresser and hit her big toe on the thick standing leg. “Dang it!”

“What's the matter?” Rene called out from the doorway.

“I stubbed my toe.” Ava wanted to cry for many different reasons, but fought back the tears.

“I told you to get in bed. What are you doing?”

She swallowed. “Nothing. Just looking for something.”

Rene turned to Ava's bed. “Where are your sheets?”

“What?” Guilt tore at Ava's heart.

“Where are your sheets?”

Think. Faster.
“Oh, I got sick on them earlier.”

“Want me to help you put some more on?”

Ava assertively shook her head. “It's fine.” She jumped in bed and pulled up the comforter reeking of Ishmael's cologne.

“Well, I put two cans of chicken soup in the crock pot. It's nothing like your homemade stuff, but it should do the trick. Need anything else?”

“No, you've done too much already. I appreciate it.”

Rene bent down to hug Ava. “I'm going to leave you to rest. Call me if you need me.”

Did she smell her fiancé's scent? “Thank you.” Ava couldn't feel any worse.

“I'll show myself out, love. I'll pray you feel better soon.”

Ava cringed. Here Rene was taking care of her, and she in return took care of Rene's man. She was not the friend Rene deserved.

After her friend had made sure she was set for the day, she rushed off to Ishmael's explanation and apology. Ava now knew what the pull he had on her was all about. His good stuff was great. He had reminded Ava how much of a woman she was. She gave Rene grief about putting up with his wretched ways, and now she was in no position to judge.

Tears filled her eyes while thoughts twisted in her head. What was Ishmael going to tell Rene? What would people say when they found out? When she heard the front door close, she slumped out of bed and bent down to lie in front of the dresser to retrieve the piece of paper.

Was Ishmael thinking about their encounter? Was he really attracted to her? She extended her arm, exerting the little strength she had left.
I shouldn't be in this position.
Nausea set in. Again. Ava had only a few seconds before she'd need to make a break for the restroom. She snagged the proof of their encounter and tore it to shreds and flushed it down the toilet.

How would Rene react? Her best friend would probably never speak to her again. Would Ishmael try to weasel his way back into Rene's good graces?
Or into my bed again?

Her head exploded. Ava slogged out of the bathroom and closed the blinds, then gulped down two Tylenol PM and crept back into bed.