Chapter 12
While Ava threw together a Sunday meal, she and Rene caught up. Her fingers seemed to move faster than her brain. Tossing the lettuce with her shaking hands landed half of it on the floor.
“You okay, Ava?”
“Yep, I'm good.” She rushed, picking up the spilt salad.
She set the bowl of the remaining clean lettuce on the counter too close to the stovetop and the chicken grease popped out of the pan, stinging her skin. She grabbed her wrist. “Dang it!”
Rene hustled over with a concerned frown. “Are you sure you're all right? Do you need any help?”
Ava shook her head. What she needed to do was settle down. “No, I got it.”
Scooping some butter, Rene rubbed a lump on Ava's skin. She welcomed the help Rene gave for her physical pain, but knew sharing her and Ishmael's bad deed with her friend would cause Rene great emotional pain. And more than likely sever their friendship. What would Ava do without Rene in her life? They were best friends since middle school. Which brought up the question, how could Ava sleep with her best friend's significant other? Did she really value their friendship at all?
After setting the crispy fried chicken aside to cool, she continued with the macaroni and cheese, green beans, and homemade biscuits, hoping this comfort food would live up to its name and comfort her for the task ahead. Ava glanced between her wristwatch and the front door like she was watching a tennis match. She did her best to gauge when Toni would walk through the doorway.
As Ava finished food preparations, she continued to pray for what to say. The Holy Spirit would have to fill her mouth with words because she had come up with zilch. Both cooking and praying were the perfect calming agents she used frequently. Going back to that night of weakness, the first correction would have been to not answer the door when Ishmael came knocking. And after she did let him in, Ava should've gone to the Lord in prayer. One bad decision led to the next, and now she was about to hit Rene with a Mack truck of disloyalty.
“Do you want something to drink, Rene?”
“I'll have some sweet tea.” Rene glided into the kitchen. “I can get it. You go 'head and do your thing on those burners over there. Gotta love the aroma of all this home-cooked food.” She patted Ava's shoulder as she scooted by to get to the fridge. “Reminds me of growing up. When Momma was throwin' down in the kitchen, you knew everything was all right.”
Ava may have been creating a feast of nostalgia, but everything was definitely not all right. And now things with Rene and Ishmael would never be all right. Surely, Rene longed to have that warm, safe feeling of comfort she saw in her parents' relationship growing up. They all desired that with their future husbands, but now Rene's dream would be pushed back because of Ava and Ishmael's despicable action. Ava lost her appetite.
The front door swung open. Toni breezed in, still wearing sunglasses. “Mmm. Fried chicken.”
Whew! She made it.
Ava looked up from her mixing. “How are you doing, Toni?”
Giving Toni a hug, Rene said, “Yeah, girl, how are you?”
“I'm good. When everything happened with Roderick, I was a bit shook up. But I'm okay now.”
“Look at your face.” Ava touched Toni's chin and moved her face to get a good view of the damage. “What are you putting on it?”
“Ice and vitamin E. After Eric finally got released, we returned to my house and he put a slab of steak on my face. He had me looking a hot mess, but I guess it made it a little better.” Toni caressed her cheek. “I'm not accepting any modeling jobs for about two weeks. Hopefully, it'll heal completely by then. Or at least I'll be able to hide it with makeup.”
Rene leaned back on the counter, grinning. “So, Eric showing up unannounced this time was a good surprise, huh?”
“Yes, it was. And he has called every day since then to check on me.” Toni pulled on the end of her hair with a dreamy expression. “He's really been there for me this week.”
Ava smirked as she heard the obvious change in Toni's voice as she talked about Eric. From revenge to respect. “That sounds promising.”
“Too early to tell. I miss the old him. And I've seen glimpses of the guy I married, so we'll see.” Toni would never admit her true feelings concerning Eric stepping in and saving her, but her body language, all smiles and giddiness, revealed everything.
Rene took her glass and sat down at the kitchen table. “Well, I'm happy for you, Toni. Maybe one day you'll be able to forgive and forget, and get back together.”
“I don't know about all that.” Toni tossed her hair out of her face. “I am glad to have his friendship back, at least for the time being. Speaking of forgive and forget, Ava, how are things with you?”
Heffa, please!
How did Toni know she was ready to spill the extremely large beans? Toni could've at least pulled her to the side and asked her privately first. “I've been better.”
“Really? What's the matter, Ava?” Rene sauntered over to the kitchen counter.
Courage needed to take over because Ava wasn't prepared to say anything just yet. “I haven't been myself lately. I have something to tell you, Rene.”
“What is it?”
Toni marched into the kitchen and affixed herself between her two friends as they both leaned again the kitchen counters across from one another.
Ava stared at the floor. “I've been really down about my weight and Xavier, and been feeling sorry for myself. Basically, having a pity party with me the only one there.”
Rene put her hand on Ava's shoulder. “Why didn't you call me?”
“The night I was extremely down in the dumps, you and Ishmael had got into it over your car being towed.”
“So? You know I would've dropped whatever I was doing and been there for you, Ava.”
“Well, Ishmael came over here looking for you. I had like three or four glasses of wine. I tried to help him find you, but you didn't answer either of our calls.”
“Yeah, I told you I was at ol' girl's house. Shanice.”
“Yes, I know, but that night when you didn't pick up, Ishmael kept complimenting me, and then one thing led to another.” Why was she telling Rene this? “And we . . .”
Rene leaned her head forward as if to guide the words out of Ava's mouth. “You what?”
Stepping backward, Ava prepared for the backlash that was sure to come next once she uttered the devastating words. Could she utter the devastating words? “We . . .”
“We what?” Rene raised her voice as she placed her hand on her hip.
Toni put her arm in between them. “Just say it, Ava.”
“We slept together.”
A fire grew in Rene's eyes. “Excuse me!”
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I told you what I was going through, plus the wine. I wish you would've answered your phone.”
“So, because I didn't answer my phone, you slept with my fiancé?” Rene removed her hoop earrings and threw them on the counter.
“That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I justâ”
Charging at Ava, Rene pushed Toni out of the way, knocking the chicken and salad on the floor. Rene used both hands to shove Ava into the pantry door, peering into her eyes.
Toni regained her footing and reinserted herself into the battle, hands up in the air. “Rene, stop!”
“Leave me alone, Toni. This is between me and Ava.”
“I know it's between you guys and Ava is wrong, no doubt, but you don't want to hit her.”
“Oh, yes, I do.” Rene swung around Toni's head, but missed.
The fierce wind from her fist brushed Ava's skin. “It's okay, Toni. Let her hit me. I deserve it.” She didn't know if getting hit would make Rene feel any better. But she was willing to take that chance. Anything she could do to make things better between them. Even take her friend's right hook in the face.
“And you're supposed to be my best friend. I see why you haven't called me all week. Too busy wallowing in your guilt.”
Ava remained silent. The right words to say at this point would never come out. How could they? The right words didn't exist. There was nothing right about any part of the situation. The only words that came to Ava's mind were betrayal, sin, and unforgivable.
“And that hat you said was Xavier's.” Rene bent her head and stepped closer. “It was Ishmael's, wasn't it?
“Yes.”
Rene's head bounced back and forth. “Your lying behind could've fessed up then.”
“I don't know what to say, Rene. I know I made all those excuses, but none of that makes it right.” Ava shook her head. “Ishmael asked me not to say anything, but I couldn't let you go on with this wedding not knowing everything.”
“Go on with this wedding? There is no wedding. I'm not marrying that fool! And there is no friendship between us either. I don't have a groom, or a maid of honor. More like a maid of dishonor.” Rene's eyes seem to shoot flames into Ava. “You better be glad Toni's here, or I'd beat your tail into the ground.”
Ava burst into tears. “I'm sorry, Rene. He made me feel special. I didn't mean to hurt you.”
“Are you that insecure? Can't find a man of your own to do that for you? And after all we've been through.” Rene seemed on the brink of tears. “How could you do me like this?”
“I'll make it up to you, Rene. I promise. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.”
“Don't hold your breath.” Rene grabbed her keys. “In fact, do hold your breath. 'Cause I couldn't give a hot darn what you do. I don't know who I grew up with, but you ain't her. Good-bye and good luck. Trick!” She slammed the front door.
Toni followed Rene out of the apartment while Ava fell to the floor. She'd brought all of this on herself and couldn't do anything about it. As much as she wanted to make Rene understand her side of the story, she couldn't control Rene's actions or feelings and had to deal with the chaos she created.
When Toni returned, she knelt down to pick up the food that lay scattered all over the kitchen floor. “I tried to calm Rene down before she got behind the wheel, but there was no use.”
“Just leave it. I can clean up later.” The mess on the floor represented her life. She'd brood there a bit longer.
“No, it's okay. I don't mind.”
“No, really. I'm a terrible friend, Toni. You better get away from me before I end up hurting you too.”
Putting the cleaning on pause, Toni put her arm on Ava's knee. “Don't say that. You can't let this mistake cancel out all the good you and Rene have shared. I told you Rene's going to need some time. This cuts deep; believe me, I know.” She stood and snatched a dish rag off the sink. “And Rene may or may not be able to forgive you or come to terms with this, but know you did the right thing by telling her.”
“Well, if I did the right thing, why don't I feel any better? I didn't get to say everything I wanted about how sorry I truly am.”
“I know. But you just need to give her space. Hopefully, she'll come around when she's ready to.”
“No problem there. I'm so embarrassed I don't think I'll ever leave my apartment.” Ava calculated the food, bottled water, and tissue she'd need to stock up on like people did in natural disasters. She planned to take cover and never walk outside her four walls.
“Stop it, Ava. People make mistakes. It happens. You apologized and I believe it was sincere. Just be there when Rene is ready to talk. That's all you can do.” Toni lifted Ava's face. “And don't give Ishmael another thought. If he comes by or calls, steer clear of him. I don't care what he says.”
Ava didn't care either. Except, part of her wanted to know how Ishmael would explain what happened to Rene. Phrases like “It meant nothing” were sure to be in use. Ava wouldn't be able to defend herself and she was positive he'd make her out to be the bad guy. “I don't think he'll show up around here anytime soon. I'm sure he'll blame me for Rene calling off the wedding, but he's just as responsible as I am.”
“You got that right. And don't let anyone, including him, tell you otherwise.” Toni helped Ava stand. “Now, come on, girl. Let's clean up this mess.”
Chapter 13
Rene left Ava's apartment and drove straight home. What just happened? Ava had her insecurities and Ishmael had his issues, but never in this lifetime did Rene think that their demons would cross paths. Having a lead foot was an understatement as she weaved in and out of traffic. Asking Ishmael what the heck he was thinking resided at the top of her list, but Rene had a few items to gather at home first.
Everything that resembled Ishmael's property landed in two large boxes. She snatched the picture frame that held a photo of them in happier times and chucked the frame in the box. The glass shattered upon impact as she moved on to the next object. Rene yanked his game system from under the TV, tearing the cords out and smashing the box the cords were plugged into.
As she threw the game next to the picture frame, the teddy bear he'd given her for Valentine's Day laughed at her from the couch. Grabbing the bear, she headed to the kitchen and retrieved a pair of scissors out of the junk drawer. That dang'on bear wasn't going to be grinning much longer. Cutting the curved red felt strip smile off its face proved to be therapeutic.
She hacked off an ear, since Ishmael never listened to her anyway. After setting the shears down, she strained to pull the head off. When cotton stuffing poured out of its neck, her soul was satisfied and she tossed the bear in the box. Once she was confident she had boxed up everything Ishmael owned or anything that reminded her of their relationship, she carried each box to the car.
Adrenaline guided her to Ishmael's mother's house. As she kept an eye out for cops alongside the roads, her foot remained heavy on the gas. A speeding ticket wasn't what she needed right now, but her emotions were driving the car.
When she pulled onto the driveway, she put her BMW in park and jumped out. She dragged the boxes out of the back seat, shredding the corners of each box, and left them in Ms. Carter's front lawn.
She shouted, “Ishmael! Come out here now,” then ran to the front porch and beat her fist on the edge of the screen door.
His mother looked through the screen. “Rene, is that you? Why you out here yelling?” She tilted her head to look behind Rene. “And what are those boxes for?”
“Sorry, Ms. Carter, but I need to talk to Ishmael.”
Crinkling her face, she asked, “What's the matter?”
Rene wasn't interested in small talk. “I just need to talk to Ishmael.”
“Okay, I'll get him for you, dear.” Momma Carter turned halfway around and hollered, “Ishmael, get down here!”
Not sure what she would do when she saw Ishmael, Rene paced in front of the door. He came shuffling down the stairs. “Sorry, Momma, I was in the restroom. You got my neck bones on the stove?”
“Yes, I do, but you got more to worry about than them neck bones. Rene's here and she's upset.”
He reached the foyer and opened the screen door to let Rene in. “Ah, hey, baby, what's up?”
“What's up? I dropped your crap out there in the grass. The wedding is off.”
“Off?” He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, no.” His mother covered her mouth.
“Yes, off. Isn't there something you forgot to tell me? Oh, wait. You didn't forget. You were just never going to tell me at all. In fact, you wanted Ava to keep it a secret.”
Ishmael's light-skinned face turned fire-truck red.
“I guess you have nothing to say.”
“Baby, that was a big mistake.” He rubbed both of his hands over his face. “I went there looking for you.”
“And when you didn't find me, you decided sleeping with Ava was the best way for us to work things out?”
He must think I'm the dumbest broad on the planet.
“Boy, you what?” Momma Carter slapped him in the back of the head.
He shrugged back. “Ouch! Dang, Momma.”
“Yep, Ms. Carter. He sure did. So, it was nice to have known you, but I'm done. There will be no wedding. No marriage. No me.” Rene turned around and waved good-bye, and walked to her car. “You two take care.”
Ishmael hustled behind Rene. “Babe, please stop. I love you and I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve it, but please listen to me a minute.”
“There is absolutely nothing you can say. Let me save you time and energy. Leave me alone. Forever!”
“Don't say that, Rene. After all we've shared in this relationship?”
“Well, that doesn't really mean anything anymore, now does it? Especially, since you're sharing it with other people. And my best friend at that!” It took everything in Rene not to swing at Ishmael's face.
He turned away, pounding his fist into the palm of his other hand. His mother flung the screen door open, carrying a silver stew pot.
“Momma, what are you doing?”
She placed the pot next to the two large boxes. “You need to call one of your friends to come and get you 'cause you can't stay here.”
Rene watched the scene play out from her car.
“Why not? I've been staying here.”
“I know, but that's when I thought you'd only be here a week. I've babied you too long and that's why you act the way you do. You are a grown man.”
“Momma, are you serious?”
“As a heart attack.” Ms. Carter rolled her neck.
Ishmael scratched his head. “You not even gon' let me finish cooking my neck bones?”
“Naw, you can take them with you. If I let you finish them at my house then you'll just talk your way back into staying here, and you gotta go. But I would never deny my child food.”
“Mm-hmm. Just a place to stay.”
“Don't get smart with me, boy. I've done enough. It's time for you to help yourself. Now, I love you, but now is a perfect time for some tough love.” She left him standing in the yard.
“Ah, you got a pot, but no window!” Rene laughed as she put her car in reverse, backed out of the driveway, and sped off down the street.
Ishmael wouldn't get another minute of her time. This would be the last of her worrying behind his actions. Maybe gray hairs would stop appearing at random, and she could save money on getting her hair dyed every few weeks. Or better yet, she could put the extra dollars toward counseling. For Ava.