Color tinged her cheeks and she stepped back. “Tired. It was a late night.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty bombed myself.” By unspoken mutual consent, they began to walk along the beachside path. “I didn’t get much sleep. I was way too wired when I got home.”
“Me too.”
He frowned. She was so detached. Guarded and reserved in a way she’d never been with him before.
Then her voice warmed up and her smile broke through, bringing the sun with it. “I’m so proud of you. The exhibition was awesome.”
Warmth curled through his stomach. Amy’s praise meant the world to him. “Thanks. Valerie phoned earlier to say she was pretty sure all of the pictures would be sold by the end of the week.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Good. It gives me a real sense of achievement.”
“The reports must have been brilliant.” She gave a startled cry and stopped in her tracks. “The papers! I forgot to read the reviews.”
Daniel smiled. “They weren’t half bad.” He handed her a copy of the
Sydney Morning Herald
he’d brought along and pointed to an article.
Amy read the headline out loud. “Award-winning photographer wins our hearts.” She gave a low whistle. “Daniel Tanner’s breathtaking photographs pulled on our heart strings and our purse strings last night at the opening of his exhibition, ‘All in Good Health’. The talented photographer brought The Pediatric Hematology and Oncology Ward of the Sydney Eastern Suburbs Hospital alive in torrents of color and in subdued black and white. There was not a dry eye in the house by the end of the evening.”
She finished reading in silence then turned and threw herself at him, hugging him tight. “Oh, that’s brilliant.”
He enclosed her in his arms, returning the hug. Her breasts pressed into his chest and need cut through him, hard and fast.
“You’re famous,” she gushed. “You’re a star. Now everyone will think you’re amazing, not just me.”
She had no idea what she did to him. Her guard was down, and she’d lost her reserve. She was his Amy again and she was wrapped around him, her body flush with his, burning him through his clothes.
“My biggest fan.” His voice was hoarse and in the position he found himself, he couldn’t hide his response to her.
Amy jerked her arms back and shifted on her heels. She held herself stiff and composed her face into a frigid mask.
He took her hand. “Babe, please don’t pull away. Don’t cut me out like that. Not after what happened between us last night.”
She yanked her hand from his. “Last night was a mistake,” she snapped, and then looked appalled. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
The expectant uncertainty didn’t stop her words from slicing through him. “How
did
you mean it to come out?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk about, to clear up any misunderstandings.” She turned around and stared out at the ocean. “I…that is, last night should never have happened. It was wrong.”
“It didn’t seem wrong at the time.” Nothing in his life had ever felt more right.
“Maybe so,” she conceded. “But in the cold light of day things look a lot different.”
“You don’t. You look every bit as beautiful as you did last night.” He needed to disarm her, charm her and combat any argument she might make, no matter how logical.
She swallowed. “I was talking about…us.”
“You think if I kissed you now, it would be any different? Any less…explosive? You think nothing else would happen?”
“That’s exactly what I think. We both have our senses about us now. Things are normal again.”
He allowed himself the pleasure of openly ogling her breasts. Their
normal
had changed and he couldn’t wait to prove it to her. “Come here.” He kept his voice low. “Let’s find out exactly how things are in the cold light of day.”
She squirmed and folded her arms in front of her chest, but not before he noticed her breasts straining against the tight T-shirt. Her nipples jutted out, clearly outlined beneath the elastic fabric. “We don’t need to find out anything,” she said forcefully. “I’m telling you, things are different. Last night, I got caught up in the moment and I let it go too far, that’s all. I’m sorry, it was my mistake.”
He moved closer to her and asked in a whisper, “You think we won’t get caught up in the moment right here?” He traced her lips with his finger. “You think if I kissed you now you won’t feel that excitement again?” Her mouth opened at his touch. He ran his finger ever so lightly between her lips before slipping it into her warm, wet mouth, and then out again, mimicking his actions from the night before.
“I…uh, no.” She stared at him with glazed eyes, the rise and fall of her chest uneven.
She was lying. He could see it in her liquid green gaze, and his body tightened. If she looked at him with those bedroom eyes for another second, so help him he would disprove her theory. Convincingly.
He ran his finger along her lips again. “Amy,” he murmured. “Would you like me to kiss you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Would you like me to touch you like I did last night?”
“Yes.” It was a soft moan. Her lips closed around his finger and she sucked.
He was so hard it hurt. His mouth close to her ear, he murmured, “If I touch you, stroke you, will you come for me?”
“God, yes.”
Without warning, her head snapped up. He heard a crack as her skull hit his, felt her teeth clamp down around his finger at the impact. She spat his finger out of her mouth and swore as she massaged her forehead. His own head throbbed in pain—as did his finger.
She glared at him. “Damn it, Tanner, now look what you made me do. Ouch.” She looked at her hand, as if checking for blood, then punched his arm. “Shit! This is exactly what I don’t want to get into with you.” Her voice gathered strength and she hit him again. “I don’t want to get involved with you physically. Can you please—”
punch
“—just—”
punch
“—understand that?”
Double punch.
Her blows didn’t hurt him, and he didn’t try to stop her. She was nervous and frustrated and needed to get rid of her pent-up energy. The next time she felt like this, he’d give her a very different way of venting her aggravation.
“Hitting me isn’t going to change what happened,” he said reasonably. “We’re already involved. Didn’t I just prove it?”
Her hand clenched into a fist again, but after a moment’s deliberation she let her arm drop to her side. “It didn’t mean anything. It was just an outlet for our over-aroused emotional states.”
“Bull,” he challenged her. “Last night was a turning point in our relationship and you know it.”
“No, it wasn’t.” She returned her focus to the sea and her voice lost its fervor. “We’re still exactly the same as we were yesterday and the day before that. Just friends.”
Fuck, she was stubborn. “If that’s all it was, then why are you trying so hard to put our friendship back into perspective? Why do you feel so uncomfortable with me? You can’t even look me in the eye.” He gave her a minute to absorb his words. “You’re scared because of your response to me. You didn’t expect it and now it’s got you all bent out of shape.”
When she didn’t answer he knew he had her. She was as wound up as he was and it pissed him off to think she was trying to minimize the effect their newfound intimacy had on both of them.
“Okay,” she relented. “You’re right. Last night wasn’t a normal, everyday event.” She studied her nails. “Let’s just put it down to a new experience and leave it at that.”
“Let’s not.” He put his finger under her chin and turned her head, forcing her to look at him. “Let’s repeat it as often as we can and see what other new experiences we can have together.”
Amy swatted his hand away. “We can’t do that,” she cried. “Don’t you see? It would all just get out of hand and we wouldn’t be able to control ourselves and we’d sleep together and the next thing we know, our friendship would be ruined.”
“You’d lose control?” Images of Amy lying naked beneath him, thrashing violently in the throes of a wild orgasm, crowded his mind and he nearly groaned out loud.
“That’s not the point.” She grimaced. “The point is we’d have sex and as a result our friendship would be ruined.”
Daniel grinned. At least they were on the same wavelength now. Hell, yes they’d have sex. Repeatedly. “How do you reckon it would ruin our friendship? If anything, it would make us a lot closer. Besides, it wouldn’t be sex.” His voice turned husky at the thought. “We’d be making love.”
Amy looked flustered. “No, we would not. Because it would never happen.”
“Why not?”
“Because you and I are just friends. Nothing more.”
“We can make it into something more.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Your words are telling me one thing, but your face is saying something different.” It was. Her pupils were dilated, leaving only a thin emerald rim around huge black holes. Her mouth had softened into a full-lipped pout and her tongue darted out nervously.
Christ, he would give anything for her to wrap that mouth around his cock again. For her hot hands to caress his balls while she sucked greedily away, her tongue licking up and down his shaft. He wanted to come in her mouth once more and watch as she swallowed then wiped her lips in satisfaction.
She squeezed her eyes shut for a second and sighed. “Look, I need to explain something to you. Could you please just let me speak, without interrupting and without contradicting me? And for God’s sake,” she raised her voice slightly, “stop touching me.”
Daniel smiled ruefully and pulled his hand back. He’d been about to wind it through her hair, pull her face close to his and kiss her. Ravish her mouth until she whimpered and moaned like she had last night. Until her body was on fire, until she was wet and begging for his touch, begging for release.
“Go ahead,” he assured her. “I won’t say a word until you’re finished.”
Amy bit her lip. “See, the thing is, you’re my best friend. I can’t remember a time in my life when you weren’t. You’re always around when I need you. I love you and I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
She loved him. That’s what he wanted to hear. “I—”
She cut him off. “I’m talking!”
“Sorry,” he mouthed silently.
“What I was saying is that I never want to imagine life without you. And if I…slept with you, that’s exactly what would happen. You’d fuck me and then you’d dump me.” She grimaced. “I know you too well. I know how you work with women. God, I’ve been through enough break-ups with you. You’re just not capable of sustaining a long-term relationship.”
She held up her hands as if to placate him. “I’m not criticizing you. That’s just the way you are and if it works for you, fine. But that’s not what I want from you. If we got involved, it would be for a few weeks or a few months and then you’d be off again, looking for another conquest.”
His heart filled with hope and he smiled. “Are you saying you want a long-term commitment from me?”
“No.” Her response was rather too emphatic for his liking. “I’m saying I want you to be my friend. Period. You’re unable to commit. You would leave me and that would ruin our friendship. Because no matter how hard we tried, we could never go back to what we have now. A friendship unspoiled by sex.”
Daniel felt like he’d been punched in the gut and swore out loud. “First of all, I would never jeopardize our friendship. It’s just as important to me as it is to you. And second of all, I would never leave you.”
“I know our friendship is important to you, but I also know how bored you get with women. Trust me, Danny. You would leave.”
“Trust.” He rolled the word around in his mouth. “Funny word choice, since you seem to have very little trust in me.”
“I trust you with my life.”
“Just not with your heart.”
“All I know is that you’re my friend and that’s the way I want it to stay. Call me selfish, but I’m not willing to let you go for the sake of a little recreational sex.”
“You think that’s all sex between the two of us would be? Recreational?” He gave a cynical laugh. “Trust me, sweetheart, it would be a whole lot more meaningful than that.”
She eyed him warily. “It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you this because I don’t want last night to happen again. Sex would kill our friendship.”
“It could also make it so much stronger.” Hell, fucking her would be the best thing that could happen to them. It would be fun, it would be hot and it would leave them both so gratified, neither would be able to walk for a week.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought,” Amy countered. “It’s the right decision.”
“For whom?”
“For both of us.”
Daniel started to argue but she cut him off. “Look, let’s just leave it at that. I’ve said what I need to.” The look on her face told him she was not open to negotiation.
“That’s it? What about what I have to say?” Even as he asked the question he knew he had to stop arguing. Time, he reminded himself. She needs time. She was barely over Simon. Throwing himself at her feet now would scare the crap out of her.
“Can you please just not say it,” she begged.