Picks & Pucks (26 page)

“Me too, but I need to know what happened to CJ.”

Eli took a huge breath of air and clicked his lip ring a few times before he launched into everything he’d found out about CJ.

“I’m sure Jack told you about the video and the asshole coach, but did you know he’s been getting threatening e-mails?”

“How do you know this?”

“I overheard him talking to Danny and Spock at the arena.”

“He should go to the cops.” I yawned, and Eli patted me on the shoulder.

“You need to sleep.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. The million-hour flight and the time difference were catching up to me and stomping me into the ground.

“Justin, you should talk to CJ.”

I grumbled and left him sipping his latte.

Jack was still crashed on the couch, snoring loudly. I tossed a blanket over him. Janae’s door was closed, so I figured she was sleeping too. I crept up to my room and stared at the laptop sitting on my desk.

The video was easy to find. Pushing Play was not easy and when I did, I couldn’t stand to watch. I shut the computer down and stared at the blank screen.

“Hey, doll face,” Jack said as he barged into my room.

“Don’t you knock?”

“I knew you were alone, so the most embarrassing thing you could be doing was jacking off, and you usually do that in the shower.”

“Oh God,” I said burying my face in my hands. “What do you want?”

“I know you left the house,” he said. “Did you talk to CJ?”

“No, I talked to Eli, and I tried to watch the video, but I couldn’t.”

He hip-checked me out of my chair, sending me to the floor with an indignant grunt.

“Fuckwit.”

“Oh, baby brother, I have missed you.” He ruffled my already messy unwashed hair and pounced on me, pinning me to the floor.

“Let me go,” I said.

Jack started tickling me, telling me I needed to talk to CJ. I kneed him in the groin, and he rolled over, calling foul.

“Foul?” I started shrieking, laughing hysterically. “You’re a big bad hockey player. There’s no such thing as a foul.”

“You win this round, but you better make sure you have eyes in the back of your head. I’ll get you,” Jack threatened. The threat failed when he snickered. “Talk to him. Now try to get some sleep. You look like hell.”

“You don’t look any better.”

He snorted. “I always look great.” He strutted out of my room like a peacock.

“Jack,” I said. He turned, clutching the door. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me too, baby brother.”

As Jack left, the demons set up a few tables to play cards. It was annoying as hell to get rid of a few of them, only to find more. I sighed and climbed into bed. I was absolutely exhausted.

After a few hours of sleep, I woke up to find a note from CJ taped to my chest, saying he didn’t have the heart to wake me. I also had a text message from Marina, telling me they were all at the arena ironing out a few details with the long program.

I decided to head over to the rink instead of sitting here thinking about CJ. I needed to get my body back in this time zone.

They were surprised to see me. I skated slow and lazy laps to get the kinks out. Marina reminded me as she was leaving that we were hitting it hard tomorrow.

Janae slipped her skates on, and we messed around, mirroring each other. I hadn’t skated with her for fun since I was a wobbly little kid.

Eli was draped over the boards, watching us. Every so often he would dip his head and pound on his computer until he was grinning. He called us over and gave us a starting point on the ice and some loose choreography. He pushed play and a popular dance tune filled the arena.

“You want to do this?” I asked Janae.

“Love to,” she said. We knuckle-bumped and started to skate. Skating for the sheer joy of the sport without the pressure of scores was fun.

“Oh my God!” Eli yelled. “That was awesome.”

“I agree,” Marina said. “I think you two should skate at the hockey game this weekend.”

“I thought you left,” I said.

“I heard the music and came back to spy,” she said, grinning.

“Wait a minute, back up!” Janae shouted. “I haven’t performed in front of people in, well, forever.”

“We should do it,” I said. Janae’s mouth dropped open. “It would be fun.”

“I agree with Justin,” CJ said.

My head snapped up at the sound of his voice. He grinned, and before I could stop myself, I jumped over the boards and fell into his open arms. I was just about to kiss him when I realized where I was and who was watching me. I coughed and backed away from him.

“Good to see you,” I said, giving him a stiff handshake.

“Well, that was a disappointment,” Eli huffed.

“Yeah, for me too,” CJ said, frowning at me.

I dismissed them both with a hand wave, returning to the ice. “Don’t say a thing,” I said to Janae before she could open her mouth. “Skate.”

She bit her lip and whirled around me, grinning like a lunatic. Those fucking demons followed her lead and sang that dumb kissing song again. It was stupid. Who would sit in a fucking tree and kiss?

CJ hung around for a few minutes before he left to go start dinner. We spent a little more time messing around with the new program, but my head wasn’t in it anymore. Marina disappeared for a few minutes, then came back to tell us we were skating this weekend. Janae’s face went white. I laughed and told her if she fell, I’d finish the program without her.

She flipped me off and dismissed me, whispering rude comments about hockey boys to Eli. They giggled, and I felt my neck get hot. I stumbled down the tunnel before my entire body burst into flames.

The only problem was that I was nervous about going home. I paced around the small locker room, trying to figure out how to approach CJ. Should I say something to him or keep it secret? Why was all this shit so complicated? I always had to fall for the guys with all the baggage.

The demons seemed giddy and followed me out of the arena. The creepy being-watched feeling came back, but I shook it off and headed home.

CJ
WASN
’
T
home yet, so I flitted around my room, sitting on my bed, moving to the desk, and finally sprawling on the floor flat on my stomach, staring at the door.

The shadows danced in front of my door, and I was on my feet before he opened the door. He swooped in and kissed me, brushing the hair away from my eyes.

“I missed you,” he whispered against my mouth. I sighed and let him gather me in his arms and walk me to the bed. “I picked up takeout. Eli and Janae are devouring pizza, so you better get downstairs before they eat everything.”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. Guess I’m still not back in this time zone,” I said. I poked at his cheeks. “You look pretty tired yourself.”

“I can’t sleep without you,” he admitted. “And classes have been kicking my ass.”

I nodded and bit my lip. The truth was clawing at my gut, begging me to let it out. He sighed and burrowed his face against my neck.

“CJ,” I said softly, but all I got in response was even breathing. He was sound asleep, cuddled against me.

In the early morning hours, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. The demons were racing around my room, chattering loudly.

“CJ,” I said, shaking him. “I need to talk to you.”

“About what?” he mumbled. I buried my nose in his hair, hoping he wasn’t going to freak out on me.

“Um,” I said, sitting up.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know? You tell me?”

“What’s that mean?”

“Things have happened pretty fast for us and we haven’t had a lot of time to talk about us.”

“I’m happy with us,” he said, nipping at my ear.

I shoved him away. “I’m trying to be serious, CJ. We don’t really know a lot about each other.”

He sat up and stared at me. “You know, don’t you,” he said coldly.

“Not everything,” I said. “But enough to know I don’t think you should play this weekend. The team can survive one series without you in the lineup.”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“Who told you?”

I swallowed hard. “Um, Jack told me.”

“Who the hell is Jack?”

“My brother. He’s going to coach at your old school.”

“So you know the whole story?”

“No, I know some of it, but I was hoping you….”

“No, it’s none of your business. The last time I trusted someone, they betrayed me.”

“I would never….” I gasped.

“That’s what everyone always says,” CJ said. He shook his head and held his hands up. “I need air.”

“Wait!” I shouted.

The demons filled the doorway, keeping me in the room. The front door slammed, and I sat down on the bed, dropping my face in my hands.

The demons taunted me, toasting my misery. I wasn’t even sure why he was so angry. I had nothing to do with what had happened at his old school. I waited for a little while, but he didn’t come back, so I retreated to the only place I felt safe.

The women’s hockey team was on the main sheet of ice, but the Olympic sheet was open and freshly cleaned. Music and the ice were my sanctuary. They helped me find my center, and after about an hour on the ice, I felt better. It only lasted for a short time.

Practice was miserable, but everyone attributed it to jet lag. When CJ didn’t come home for dinner, Janae asked dumb questions, I snapped at her and Jack took her side. I felt like I was fifteen again, with them ganging up on me. I flipped them off and went to my room.

The night went on forever. I kept peeking out the window and running downstairs to check if his car was in the driveway. It was totally ridiculous, because the look on his face had told me he wasn’t coming back.

“Why is this happening?” I grumbled and sat down on the bottom step.

Jack almost tripped over me, hitting me in the back of my head with his knee when he came downstairs.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked.

“Um, tying my shoe,” I shouted, then raced back upstairs and slammed the bathroom door. Jack was going to know I’d gone off my rocker. I wasn’t wearing any shoes.

A shower washed away the grime, but I didn’t feel any better.

“You look like shit,” Janae said when I stumbled into the kitchen.

“Yeah, well,” I mumbled and didn’t finish the sentence.

She handed me a cup of coffee and eyed me suspiciously.

“I’m here if you need to talk,” she said. “Get dressed. Marina is already at the rink.”

“I’m sorry about last night,” I grumbled.

“I know you’re under a lot of pressure,” she said. She pinched my arm, and I squealed when she pulled me into a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay.”

I didn’t let on that I didn’t believe her. I changed the subject by asking about her skating students. She told me about Carly’s big win at regionals. I was going to have to remember to congratulate her. The conversation kept my mind occupied until everything came to a screeching halt when we turned into the parking lot of the arena.

“I wonder what’s going on?” Janae asked.

Several cop cars were parked in the lot, and I caught a glimpse of my dad putting his arm around someone’s shoulders before they disappeared inside.

A large crowd was gathered around a familiar gray car. Someone had smashed the windows and sprayed several disgusting words in neon pink on the hood of the car. Janae sucked in a quick breath, and I stopped breathing. It was CJ’s car. A tow truck operator was hooking up the car to be dragged away. One of the trainers brought out a sheet and draped it over the hood, hiding the words.

I looked around, searching for any signs of him, but all I saw were cops and Kenny barking orders at a cleaning crew, who were shoveling glass into a garbage can.

Janae touched my arm, making me almost jump out of my skin. “He’s fine,” she said.

“How do you know?” I shrieked.

“Dad saw us pull in and just sent me a text.”

“Dad texts?” I barked out a ridiculous laugh, because I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.

I yanked open the door, jumped out, and ran right into Danny.

“Get out of my way,” I growled. He grabbed my arm, stopping me from rushing into the rink.

“He’s fine, but give him a minute, and let the cops make sure it’s safe.”

I scowled at him and shook my arm loose. “I have practice.”

J
ACK
MET
me at the door and shoved me back outside.

“I have practice,” I growled.

“I need to talk to you,” Jack said. “Marina’s cleared you for an hour.”

I reluctantly followed him to his car and got in only when Jack opened the door and pushed me. We drove across campus to a coffee shop.

“How serious is this thing between you and CJ?”

My heart pounded triple time, making me dizzy. The question was simple, but the answer was incredibly complex.

I still didn’t have an idea what this
thing
was between CJ and me. The demons called me chickenshit, whispering that I knew what was happening. I told them to fuck off and stared at Jack.

“I don’t know?”

“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m just going to come straight out and say it.”

I snorted. “Straight. Good one, Jack.”

“No, no,” he stammered. “I found this taped to CJ’s locker.” He shoved a piece of crumpled paper at me. I smoothed it out and stared at the words written in red marker.

Turn us in and your car won’t be the only thing in pieces

“Who knows about this?” I asked.

“No one yet.”

My bottom lip trembled, and I couldn’t stop the tears from dripping down my face. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you trust me?” Jack asked.

“I think so,” I mumbled.

“It’s going to be okay, Justin. I’ll take care of this. His old school is now my school, and I’m going to get to the bottom of all this shit. You need to concentrate on your skating, and I don’t want you to get hurt. I can tell you love him, even if you haven’t admitted it to yourself. I can help him.”