Pieces (Riverdale #1) (20 page)

     
“She’ll break eventually.” He sounded
sure, and he was. He just would like to be around to see the day it actually
happened. He cringed, and forced himself to block out the thoughts.

     
“How you feeling?” Nick asked, catching
the cringe from Jake.

     
“Like I was hit by a bulldozer.” Jake
shrugged. “I’m still looking at your ugly face, so that’s a good sign.” Nick
laughed and threw something on his bed. Jake glanced down and picked up the
book, flipping through the blank pages. He glanced up at him. “What’s this?”

     
Nick stepped toward him, and sat beside
him on the bed. He nodded towards the empty journal. “A little birdie told me
you were getting bored.”

     
“Well that’s true.” Jake said fingering
the leather bound book.

     
“When I first got to Seattle, I threw
myself a bit of a pity party.” He sighed and rubbed the stubble on his face
with the back of his hand. “I was alone, and missing you guys. Missing my life
and the guy I used to be.”

     
Jake looked at him, surprised. Since Nick
had been back, he hadn’t spoken much of what his life was like when he left
Riverdale. Hell, no one really even talked about why he left. To this day it
was a mystery to Jake.

     
Nick glanced down at the book.
 
“I began to write. I wrote letters to each of
you guys, when I was too much of a pussy to pick up the phone and call you. I
just found it as a way to get in touch with who I was and the people I missed.”
He paused. “When I felt lonely or sorry for myself, I’d write. It was the
perfect release for me, and got me through.” His eyes met Jake’s. “Thought
maybe when you were alone and needed to vent, you could use it.”

     
“Thank you.” Jake said as he looked down
at the book. “It’s crazy. I have a parade of people coming through that door
every day and sometimes I feel completely alone. I think it’s more that I feel
more alone in my feelings than physically alone.”

     
Nick nodded, but didn’t pretend to know
how he felt. “But you do know you’re not alone right?”

     
“Of course I know.” He looked at Nick, and
the question slipped before he could stop it. “Why’d you leave Riverdale?”

     
Nick turned and met his gaze. He studied
Jake for a moment and then smiled half-heartedly. “It doesn’t matter. It may
not have been something I planned, but it’s something I’ll never regret.”

     
Jake stared at him confused. “But you were
miserable.”

     
“But it allowed me to do a favor for
someone I’ll always admire.” He let out a breath. “Let’s just leave it at
that.”

     
Jake contemplated pressing him, but
decided against it. Nick wasn’t a man who hid much from people. He was an
honest guy, an open book. So whatever his reasons for leaving, were honorable,
Jake was sure. He just wished he would’ve had those six years with him. “Nick?”

     
“Yeah?”

     
“Thanks for being a great friend. I’ll
never forget what you did for me when I got into trouble with Cara’s father.”
He didn’t remember ever properly thanking Nick, for taking his place that
night.

     
Nick stared straight ahead into space, and
then looked down at his hands. “I wish I could take your place now, like I did
then.” His voice was broken, and when he looked up at Jake. He swung his arm
over his shoulders. “You’re just as much my little brother as you are Luke’s.
Blood don’t mean shit to me.” He tugged him towards him, as a big brother
would.
 

     
Jake patted his back. “You are family,
Nick. And I hope one day you really are my brother.” He meant it, with every
fiber of his being. There was no one he would be happier to see with his
sister.

 
    
Nick
laughed. “Not unless I tie her up and throw in the car and drive her to Vegas,
at gunpoint.”

     
Jake grinned. “If you need help putting
that plan in motion let me know.”
 
Jake
slapped his hands against his thighs and began to push himself off the bed. “I
asked Sam to take Cara out for the day. She’s been so wrapped up in taking care
of me, that she hasn’t left this house since we came home from the hospital.”

     
Nick knew better than to help him stand,
Jake was a bull and wore his pride on his sleeve, like one of his tattoos.
“Don’t feel guilty Jake. She’s doing exactly what she wants to do. She wants to
be there for you.”

     
“She’s amazing.” Adoration and love filled
his voice. “Be right back, I have a horrible taste in my mouth and need
desperately to brush my teeth.”

     
Nick nodded. “Go ahead. I’ll be here.” He
watched as Jake disappeared into the bathroom. He looked around the room and
smiled nostalgically. At one point or another, they had all crashed in this
basement, each calling it their own. The walls were adorned with pictures of
the five of them through the years.

     
The more things seemed to change, the more
they stayed the same Nick thought as he gazed along the wall of pictures. The
same smiles, the same family, different were the struggles.

He
still remembered a time, when the most challenging crisis was how to change
Ava’s diaper. Now they all were challenged on how they dealt with Jake’s
disease. Nick’s train of thought was disrupted by Jake’s anguished cry.

     
Nick hurried to the bathroom, pushing the
door open, fear running through his whole body, as to what he would find. There
Jake stood staring at his reflection in the mirror. Horror streaked his face as
he ran his fingers through his hair. When he pulled his hand out, he looked
down at them, and stared at the clumps of hair that he held in his palms. He
stared at the hair as if he was staring at the blood of another man on his
hands.

     
Cara leaned back in the pedicure chair,
forcing herself to relax as she wiggled her toes in the tub of water. Sam had
found a little day spa in the neighboring town, and signed them up for the
complete package. They had just had facials and were now sipping mimosas as
they each got a pedicure.

     
“What do you think of this color?” Sam
asked as she passed the plum bottle of nail polish to Cara.

     
“I like it. I think the dark colors make a
pedicure look fresh longer.” She said eyeing the color Sam chose.

     
“Or this one?” Sam said, eyeing a deep red
and then frowned. “I pity the man that marries me. I hope he’s handy because
I’ll have him painting the rooms of our house every month, considering I suck
at making permanent decisions.”

     
Cara laughed. “You do realize this is nail
polish, and it comes off right?”

     
Sam handed her both colors. “Pick one for
me.” Begrudgingly she closed her eyes and Cara slipped the color she chose into
her palm, laughing at her as she did. Sam peeked at the color and grinned. “I
was hoping you went with the plum.”

     
Cara smiled genuinely at Sam, and finished
off her mimosa. “Speaking of the man you marry being handy, I heard Nick’s
great with a set of tools.”

     
Sam signaled for a refill on her mimosa and
turned back to Cara. “Really, you’ve jumped on the bandwagon too?”

     
“Well I was never too far off of it.” She
said in her defense, and then shrugged. “Instead of skirting around what’s
obvious, why don’t you tell me what’s holding you back?”

     
Sam hesitated for a moment. “Nick is not a
sure bet.” Satisfied with her answer she leaned back and played with the
massage controls on the chair.

     
“Bullshit.” Cara said, her smile widened
when Sam looked at her shocked. “Come on Sam, it’s obvious you two have feelings
for one another, and I’ll let you in on some inside info.” She said, leaning
closer to her.

     
Sam couldn’t help but indulge, and leaned
in closer. “Spill it.”

     
“Jake told me that Nick and Luke had
the
conversation, a couple of months
ago.” She said very matter-of-factly, and let decided to Sam digest her little
scoop.

     
“
The
conversation?” Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked at Cara questioningly.

     
“Yes, you know the one where Nick
confesses to your brothers that he’s been secretly pining away for you all
these years, and hasn’t done jack shit about it because of some nonsense on
brotherly code.” Cara shook her hand as if to dismiss the nonsense part of what
she told Sam.

 
    
Sam’s
eyes widened and then she leaned back in the chair, pondering what Cara said.
“Pining?”

     
“Pining.” Cara affirmed.

     
Sam shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.
Nick is just looking to scratch an itch probably and I’m not going to be
another notch in his belt.”

     
“I think you’re wrong.”

     
“Listen, so it might be a really long time
since I got any, but I’m sure the next man I take to bed is not going to be
Nick.” The two women working on their pedicures chuckled but didn’t lift their
heads. Sam’s cheeks grew red and Cara burst out laughing.

     
“I meant, I don’t think you’d be just
another notch in his belt.”

     
Sam decided to ignore Cara at that moment.
“What was Luke’s reaction to all this?”

     
“According to Jake, he gave his blessing.”

     
“Well that explains all the groping he’s
been doing around everyone.” Sam said more to herself than to Cara. “Before he
left, he would barely look at me, without being nervous Luke would find out.”

     
“You can tell me to shut up, but I’m going
to say it anyway.” Cara turned sideways in her chair and held Sam’s gaze. “If
you have feelings for Nick, like real deal feelings, pursue them. You never
know where life is going to take you, you don’t want to look back and have
regrets.”

     
Sam looked at Cara, her heart breaking for
her friend. Yes, she was Jake’s best friend for all these years, but somewhere
along the way she became her friend too. “Do you feel that way Cara?”

     
“Yes.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t
know what lies ahead but I’m so scared to leave Jake’s side right now, fearing
I’ll miss a second. I’m really glad we’re here today, and I’m having a great
time, but in the back of my head, I’m counting the minutes until I get back to
him, worrying if he needs my help.” She cocked her head to the side and stared
at Sam. “I just don’t want you to regret wasting time, because if it’s one
thing no one is sure of, it’s how long they have with the people they love.”

     
Sam reached out for her hand and squeezed
it, her eyes full of unshed tears. “My brother is lucky to have you.”

     
Cara shook her head, and smiled through
her emotions. “I’m the lucky one.”

     
Nick stood frozen in the doorway, unsure
how to proceed. He watched Jake as he spread his fingers and let the hair slip
through them, onto the counter of the bathroom vanity. He ran his fingers
through his hair continuously, more hair falling with each comb of his fingers.
He looked at Nick through the mirror.

     
“I knew I would lose my hair. I told
myself I was going to.” He paused shaking his head, his eyes back to focusing
on his own reflection. “I didn’t prepare myself for how I’d feel when it
happened.” His voice was strangled and bowed his head, his hands bracing the
edge of the counter for strength. He glanced back up and forced himself to look
at his reflection and cringed.
                                                                                                                          
Nick
took a step closer. “Well, how do you feel?” He asked, and decided that as Jake
began to lose control, he would be the one who remained in control. He stood
beside him facing the mirror.

     
“It’s not losing the hair that’s bothering
me. It’s everything settling in. It’s looking in the mirror and not recognizing
the man looking back at me.” He swallowed, and looked at Nick’s reflection.

     
Nick didn’t say anything, he simply let
Jake vent his frustrations. He glanced around the countertop and then bent down
and opened the cabinet beneath the sink. He rummaged through and pulled out
what he was looking for. He didn’t look at Jake he simply plugged in the
electric buzzer, and he poured peroxide over the blade, before flicking it on.
Jake looked at him startled by the sound of the buzzer.

     
“What the hell are you doing?” Jake said,
turning to face him. His eyes widened as Nick let the head of the buzzer glide
through his long locks. “Stop it! Nick, I can’t let you do this!”

     
Nick ignored him and let the hair fly onto
the counter. He combed it through the rest of the hair with ease, never
flinching. Jake watched him, tears slipping down his cheeks as he guided the
buzzer throughout his head. Once his head was completely shaven, he shut the
buzzer off and turned to Jake.

     
“It’s only hair.” He placed the buzzer on
the counter and ran his hands over his head, it felt like peach fuzz.
 
He turned and faced Jake. “It’ll grow back.
Want to give it a go?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and kept a steady eye
on Jake.

     
Jake lifted his hand to his head turned
and looked in the mirror. He fingered the strands of hair and eyed Nick’s hair.
He looked like he had cut his hair to join the military. He bit the inside of
his cheek and quickly faced Nick. “Fuck it!” He exclaimed and then repeated
Nick’s words. “It’s only hair.”

     
Nick smiled at him and reached for the
buzzer. He stood behind Jake and they both stared into the mirror and Nick
began to buzz Jakes hair. Since Jake kept his sides very short to begin with,
it was an easy task. A few strokes over the top of his hair where it was
longest, then and Nick changed the blade on the buzzer to even out the length
across Jake’s entire head. Once he was done, Jake ran his hands over the soft
fuzzy hair. Nick stepped back and let Jake access himself.

     
“What do you think?” Nick asked, rubbing
his own shaven head.

     
“You become a barber or something in
Seattle?” Jake asked and then grinned at him as only he could. “I’m a sexy son
of a bitch, bald.”

     
Nick chuckled slightly and gripped Jake’s
shoulders. “I’d ask you if you want to go cruising to pick up chicks, but you
went and got yourself a ball and chain.”

     
Jake laughed and turned to face him and
punched him in the shoulder. “Thanks man. I actually like it.”

     
“Anytime.” Nick said and then ran his hand
down his head. “Going to take some time to get used to.”

     
“We look like we just joined the army. You
should tell my sister you’re going to war, maybe that would light a match under
her ass.” He pondered the idea, seemed like a no brainer to him.

     
“If I have to pretend to be something I’m
not, then what’s the use?” Nick said as he began to clean up the mess from the
haircuts.

     
“I know my sister Nick, she’s had a crush
on you since she was thirteen. I don’t know what’s holding her back.”
 
He frowned, because he was stumped. By now he
thought for sure they would’ve come to their senses. He leaned back against the
counter. “Maybe it has something to do with why she went to Seattle.”

 
    
Nick
looked up from sweeping up the stray hairs on the floor. “Well, unless she
tells me about her little excursion, I’ll never know why she never came to see
me when she was there. The only one who she thinks knows about that is Luke.”

     
“Maybe I can get her to tell me about it.”
He shrugged, his eyes lit up like a fluorescent bulb. “I’ll tell her it’s my
dying wish.”

     
Nick smacked his leg with the back of the
broom. “You’re an ass.”

     
Jake smiled. “I’m kidding. “ Nick eyed him
suspiciously. “I swear! Geez, you people need to lighten up a little. But
seriously, maybe I can get her to open up.”

     
“How do you plan on doing that? If she
hasn’t told you yet, why would she tell you now?” He chucked the dustpan into
the waste basket and they made their way out of the bathroom.

     
“You leave that to me.” Jake said very
sure of himself.

     
“Fine. But no talk of dying wishes or any
morbid shit.” He said pointing a warning finger in Jake’s direction.

     
“Scouts honor.” He assured him and then
turned around quickly as the door opened.

Cara
and Sam walked into the room laughing. Both girls stopped short, and their
laughter diminished when they locked eyes with Jake and Nick. Jake grinned at
Cara, as if shaving his head was the most natural thing.

     
“How long were we gone?” Cara asked no one
in particular, as she dropped her belongings and stood before Jake.
 
He searched her eyes, trying to figure what
she was thinking and wondering if in fact she knew what caused the sudden
hairstyle change. She lifted her hands, her eyes questioning him.

     
“Go ahead. Maybe a Genie will pop out.” He
laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist as she lifted her hands to stroke
his head.

     
She laughed slightly. He knew once she
touched his head so gently, and proceeded to place feathered kisses along his
hairline, that she knew. He watched her smile wide. “I love it.”

     
“Yeah?” He asked looking into her eyes,
seeking her approval. She didn’t harp on the fact that he was losing his hair,
or that he had probably been on an emotional rollercoaster while she was gone.
She just accepted it, as if he had just done it on a whim.

     
“I really do. You look so rugged and bad
ass.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

     
Nick dragged his eyes away from Cara and
Jake and focused on Sam. She was staring at him with an expression of shock,
and something else that he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

     
“I just remembered I have something to
take care of. I’ll see you guys later.” Sam stammered, quickly finding her way
out of the room. Jake pulled away from Cara, and when they turned towards Sam,
she had already shut the door behind her. Jake looked at Cara quizzically.

     
“What’s with Sam?” A hunch told him that
his sister wasn’t taking his hair loss as easily as his girlfriend had.

     
Cara shrugged. “She was fine until a
minute ago.”
 
She glanced at Jake and
lifted her eyebrows towards Nick.

     
Jake turned around and looked at his
friend, expectantly. Nick rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. I’ll go.”

     
Jake grinned. “Of course you will.”

     
“I know what you’re up to Jake.” He shook
his head and headed towards the door.