Plain Jayne (31 page)

Her eyes, as blue as the water itself, brimmed precariously until one fat tear sneaked over her lashes and down her cheek.

“Hey.” Nick caught it on his thumb and brushed it away, but instead of lifting his hand, he opened it, and cupped her cheek in his palm. “No crying on your birthday.”

“Nick.” His name was nothing more than a breathy sigh from her lips; sexiest damned sound he ever heard.

She was so close, so still, and God help him, if she didn’t stop looking at him like that … One kiss, that’s all; one taste, one chance to pull those pins out of her hair and let it tumble through his fingers.

“I, uh …” He moved closer, just a little, and leaned in … did she just
wince
?

She jerked away, flicking her hand across the back of her neck. “Ow!”

“What?” It took Nick a second to focus, then he pulled her hands away from her neck so he could get a look. Sure enough, there were two thin black stingers sticking out of the back of her neck, one almost dead center and the other just to the left, both spots already red and starting to swell.
Jeezus
.

“Are you allergic?”

“N-no.”

“Good. Hold still.” He pulled out his pocketknife and, using the tip of the blade, pinched
the stingers between the metal and his thumb, then very carefully eased each one out.

“Come on.” He hoisted her up and all but dragged her closer to the water. “Sit.”

“What am I, a dog?”

He ignored her as he went to retrieve the backpack, then dumped it out on the ground. He pulled a handful of napkins out of their lunch bag, dunked half of them into the icy water, and pressed them against her neck.

“How’s that?” he asked.

“Cold.”

“Good.”

He lifted the compress a couple times to have a look, and when he was certain the swelling wasn’t getting worse, he dunked the napkins in the water again, set them against her neck, then twisted her hand up enough so she could hold the compress herself.

God, he was an idiot; so busy getting all horned up, and she’s being attacked by wasps. He handed her a bottle of water and tried to lose his frown. After a while, he even succeeded, giving in to the embarrassed grin that twitched against his mouth.

“Here.” He waited until she reluctantly held out her hand, then he dropped half a dozen silver-wrapped Hershey Kisses into the middle of her palm. She snorted softly, smiled up at him till he thought he’d die, then pulled her hand down from her neck again so she could lift one of the Kisses.

“Third grade?”

“Second.” He checked her neck again, re-wet the napkins in the lake, and set them back in place. Valentine’s Day in Miss Toth’s second grade class, and twenty-odd kids were bent over their desks decorating sparkly cardboard hearts to hand out to everyone in the room. Nick wanted to give Jayne something else—a Kiss—but she turned him down flat.

“I think your exact words were ‘Eeew, Nick, that’s gross.’ ”

Her soft laughter tickled his ears and eased the rest of his frown away. “Well, if I’d known you meant a chocolate kiss, I might not have kicked you so hard.”

He flagged Carter over to have a look at Jayne’s neck, then they spent the rest of their time at the lake going back and forth between silently cursing every wasp in the Western world and then thanking them for saving him from making what could have been the biggest mistake of his life. Kissing Jayne? Was he crazy? Sure, he’d thought about it over the years, but that’s all
it’d been: thoughts. He’d never actually done it because he knew she’d have killed him, and even if she didn’t kill him, things would never be the same between them.

And he hadn’t ended things with Lisa yet. Tonight. He’d do it tonight.

“Better step on it if we’re going to make the reservation,” Carter muttered. “Lisa’ll be waiting.”

“Reservation?” Jayne’s voice sounded weary, almost desperate. “You mean there’s more?”

“ ’Course there’s more,” he laughed. “You didn’t think Nick would leave you on your own for your birthday dinner, did you?”

“No, it’s just …” She twisted her fingers together in her lap and cleared her throat before finally looking up at Nick. “I think I’m all birthday’d out is all. Can we do dinner another night?”

She wasn’t fooling him—or Carter—but Nick couldn’t blame her for cutting things short after what happened at the lake. Before he could say anything, Carter was already yammering.

“If Jay’s not going, neither am I, so drop me off at your place, will you?”

Little was said the rest of the ride back. Jayne kept her gaze either straight ahead or focused on her fingers, still twisting on her lap. It didn’t take a genius to see she was working to keep her breathing slow and even, especially after they dropped Carter at the house and headed downtown.

When they got to the store, Nick hopped out and waited while she unlocked the back door.

“Too much today?”

“Little bit.” She leaned against the door frame and smiled up at him, but it didn’t even come close to her eyes. “It was great, though. Thank you.”

There couldn’t be more than a foot separating them, but it felt like a mile.

“So, uh, you busy this week?” Nick stood with his fists jammed down deep in his pockets, hoping it would keep him from reaching out and touching her.

Her shoulder lifted in a half shrug. “I’m going to be running back and forth to the city but if you need my help with something—”

“No, I uh …” He blew out a breath, then ran a hand across his mouth to muffle his curse. “I’ve got some things to take care of, and the push is on to get the Schwanns’ house finished, but I’ll catch up with you later in the week.”

“Yeah, okay. Will you get it finished?”

He blew off her question with a grunt. “How’s the neck?”

“Good. I only feel like a distant cousin of Quasimodo now.”

Why was she looking at him like that, like she had something to say, or that she was hoping he’d say something else? He had things to say, that was for damned sure, but not yet. Lisa deserved at least that much.

“I should go.” He didn’t move.

“Today was …” Jayne started to laugh, then choked over it. “It was great. Thanks.”

She kissed his cheek, and for the first time since she’d come back to town, Nick didn’t reach for her hand, he didn’t hug her, and he didn’t kiss her back. He just mumbled a goodbye, climbed in his truck, and floored it all the way to Lisa’s.

As usual, she was ready and waiting for him.

“We better hurry,” she said. “We’re already late.”

“Um, yeah. About tonight …” He bobbed his head toward the living room. “Can we talk?”

Lisa froze, her eyes unblinking. After a second, she licked her lips, eased her bangs off her forehead, and slowly lowered herself to the sofa, then waited for him to sit across from her.

“The tickets are nonrefundable, Nick.”

“What tickets?”

“For the trip.” She folded her hands over her knees and blinked up at him with those trusting green eyes, now swimming in pools of hurt, and he hadn’t even said anything yet. “To Montreal.”

Shit
. He’d completely forgotten about the trip. He exhaled slowly, and leaned his elbows on his thighs. “I’m sorry.”

A slow, barely there nod, then her lips curled in behind her teeth for a second. “Did I do something?”

“No,” he muttered. “It’d make a lot more sense if you had, and it’d sure as hell make this easier.”

“Did … did
you
do something?” She blinked, but not fast enough to stop the first tear from slipping down her cheek.

“No.” Almost though.

They sat in silence for a few seconds as he fought to find the right words to make this easy for both of them. When none came, he went with the truth.

“Lisa,” he said, forcing himself to look into her eyes, to see the hurt he was causing. “You’re sweet and beautiful and when I look at you, I see everything I should want.”

“
Should
want,” she repeated slowly. “But don’t.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yes. Yes, you are. But I guess I am, too.” A hint of something—guilt maybe—flashed over her face. “There’s a part of me that’s expected this day to come for a while now.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm.” She looked down at her hands and when she finally raised her eyes to meet his, there was a tiny hint of a smile, sad as it was. “You should see your face when she’s around. You’ve
never
looked at me like that.”

“Lisa—” He stopped, swallowed. “It’s not her fault. I knew before she moved back that this relationship wasn’t working for me, but I guess I was hoping if I gave it a little time, I’d get there, that I could be the guy you deserve, but I’m not.”

“I know.” Lisa blinked harder, pressed the tips of her fingers below her eyes to catch the tears, never once marring her makeup. “I guess I was hoping you’d get there, too.”

“I’m so sorry.” He forced himself to hold her gaze, even though every second made him feel more and more like a complete schmuck.

“Have you and she—” She raised a brow and waited.

“No.”

“But you’ve thought about it.”

Nick winced. “Yeah.”

“Does she know?”

“God no. She’d probably kill me if she found out, especially since she’s done nothing but harp about how she didn’t want to be a problem for us, that I shouldn’t spend time with her because it would make you feel bad, but, uh …” He blew out a slow breath. “This day was going to come whether Jayne’s in the picture or not, and you deserve so much better than that.”

“So I can’t blame her then?” Her sad smile lifted just enough to reach her eyes. “That’s too bad because I really want to hate her right now.”

“Hate me instead. None of this was her fault.”

She inhaled a long slow breath, held it for a second, then released it even more slowly.

“Well. I guess that means I’ll be going to the most romantic city in the country by myself then.”

She was being more gracious than Nick deserved, but that was Lisa. Always gracious, always sweet.

“I could send Carter with you.”

“No, thank you.” Her whole body shuddered over a short laugh. “I’d rather go alone.”

He watched her smile fade slowly until he was right back to where he was when he first sat down.

“Have I told you how sorry I am?” he asked, twisting his mouth into a shameful grimace.

“You might have mentioned it a couple times.”

He felt her question building before she even spoke the words, but it was like everything happened in slow motion and there was no way for him to stop her from asking it.

“Are you in love with her?”

Nick closed his eyes for a second as though doing so would save Lisa from the images blinking through his mind: five-year-old Jayne hugging him around the side of the school, then at eight, kicking him in the shins, the look on her face when he gave her the first dandelion chain, and today when he’d given her the new one, the terror that ripped through him when the spinning bottle stopped on her at Carla’s party, movies, lying on the football field, all those summers together, the day she got on that bus and drove away.

And the day she came back.

Nick opened his eyes but avoided a straight answer. “We’ve been friends our whole lives.”

“That’s not what I asked.” She sat a little straighter, tipped her chin up a little higher.

It was on his tongue to say no, as though lying would make all of this easier, but he couldn’t; the word just wouldn’t come.

“Yeah,” he finally nodded. “I think I’ve always loved her, I just never realized how much.”

“I thought so.” She cleared her throat quietly. “And are you planning on telling her anytime soon, or are you just going to sit around and waste another twenty-five years?”

“I want to, but …” Nick scrubbed his face with his palms and sighed. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“I need to work up to it.” He couldn’t have felt worse than he did right at that moment, and he deserved it. “What if she doesn’t say it back?”

And yeah, he deserved the snort that ripped from Lisa’s throat and every second of her harsh, mocking laughter that followed.

Jayne spent the next few days as she’d spent the week before, searching the classifieds and online resources like Craigslist for books. She’d put more miles on her car in the last few weeks than she had in the last few years, but it was beginning to pay off.

The books she’d gathered to this point had been separated into genres and moved to the general areas she thought they belonged. Things had changed a lot since Gran’s day, when the sci-fi fantasy section used to be a couple shelves in the back. Jayne knew she was going to need a heck of a lot more space for it now. Westerns, sadly, not so much.

Nonfiction was a tricky section because those titles could sit a long time, but Jayne couldn’t turn down an old history book, or even better—an old reference book. She bought a set of
World Book Encyclopedias
from 1941 just because they were so pretty and, really, what was a bookstore without a set of encyclopedias? She knew they’d never sell but she didn’t care; she’d struck fiction gold on her last trip to the city and these would more than make up for the encyclopedias not selling.

Robert Jordan, the
Little House
books, twenty-five
Nancy Drew
hardcovers, John Jakes, Julie Garwood, a couple sets of Harry Potters, lots of Louis L’Amours, and a whole boxload of Stephen King.

Running back and forth to the city had been a great way to keep herself busy and off everyone’s radar. She’d talked to Nick briefly on the phone and texted a few times, but he was scrambling to get the Schwanns’ house finished, so it was best to leave him alone.

She met the girls for drinks on Tuesday, where she learned Maya’s husband had been seen with his chippy-ho at a local restaurant, so between the three of them, they each tried to offer some form of comfort.