Authors: Laura DeLuca
At least someone believed in him. Josh realized she was right. He wasn’t doing any good by hanging around where he was unwanted. “I’m sorry I upset you. I’ll go.”
“Stay the hell away from my baby!” Mrs. Preston lost the last of her composure and tried to fling herself at Josh. She was so unsteady that her husband was easily able to restrain her.
“He’s not worth it,” he told her, his voice strained with emotion. “He’s not worth it.”
Josh tried to slip away without causing any more drama, but Mrs. Preston’s words echoed through the corridors and haunted him long after he had pulled away from the hospital parking lot. “You tried to kill my daughter!” she cried. “You’re a murderer!”
When he got back from the hospital, Josh vegged out on the couch. He was relieved that his parents had left again shortly after he arrived home. He had the house to himself, and he absently flipped through television stations. He was pretty sure he had run through all the channels at least three times when he finally decided to give up and turn it off. He had hoped the television would take his mind off his troubles, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything. He was miserable.
The whole day had been a nightmare—Detective Gibula and his accusations, the fact that his father thought he was guilty, and his run-in with Jasmine’s parents. In addition to all that, everyone would find out that he was a murder suspect, and the whole school would hate him. They would whisper behind his back. Shy away when they saw him coming down the hall.
Even if the police never arrested him, he would still be an outcast. He would probably have to drop out of school. He’d never go to college. His entire life would be over before it began. And did he deserve any less? Lily’s life was over and Jasmine’s might never be the same. Why should Josh go unpunished when everything was his fault to begin with?
“Hey there, neighbor.”
Josh didn’t know why it would surprise him to find Andrea standing behind him. She always came into his house without knocking. The crooked smile on her face was a welcome sight. If Josh had to spend any more time alone with his morbid thoughts, he might completely lose his mind. He sat up and scooted over on the couch to make room for her.
“Hey, Andy. What’s up?”
She dropped down beside him and gave him a quick hug. “Nothing much. I just thought you might need a friend. I hear you had a rough day.”
Disastrous was a little closer, but even that fell short. There was no word that could do justice to the mess that his life had become. For the last week, he had tried to be strong, tried to hold back his emotions and be the man everyone expected him to be. In the presence of his best and oldest friend—the person who bandaged his knee the first time he fell off his bike and forced him to put a steak on his bruised eye after his first fight—he finally let go of the brave front.
“Andy, everything is falling apart. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Josh started to weep for the first time since he was seven and his dog died. Andrea had been the one to comfort him then too. His father told him it was unnecessary to get emotional over an animal. No doubt he would disapprove of this display of emotion as well, but Josh didn’t care. He needed to grieve.
“Oh Josh, I’m so sorry.”
At first, the unexpected tears seemed to shock Andrea, but only momentarily. She didn’t waste a second before wrapping her arms around him. Josh buried his head in her shoulder. Andrea didn’t say anything else. She probably knew that words would be pointless. She just let him cry. He cried until his breath came in strained hiccups and his eyes were sore and swollen. When he finally sat back up, he didn’t feel any better.
“I don’t know how you can even stand to look at me,” Josh said heavily. He blew his nose on a tissue. “You must hate me.”
Andrea blinked in surprise. “Why on earth would I hate you?”
“I put everyone I care about in danger, including you!” Josh cried. “How could you not hate me?”
“You’ve been my best friend for fifteen years. I know you better than anyone else. I could never hate you. Underneath that bad boy exterior, I always knew there was a decent guy.” She grinned and nudged his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but smile back, even as he wiped away the last of his tears on his sleeve.
“Thanks, Andy. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
They hugged one last time, but were startled when the doorbell rang. Andrea looked at him curiously. At first, Josh was just as puzzled as Andrea. Then he remembered that Rosa was supposed to come over for their regular tutoring session, and he smacked himself in the forehead. How could he have forgotten that? He stood to answer the door, but stopped halfway there. He must have looked just as flustered as he felt, because Andrea gave him an encouraging smile.
“Don’t worry. Rosa doesn’t hate you either. Don’t let her fool you. She may try to play it cool, but she’s completely in love.”
Josh actually felt his cheeks start to burn, and his heart fluttered a little faster. The possibility of Rosa loving him overshadowed everything else, at least for the moment. He didn’t hesitate as he reached out to let her inside. When he saw her standing there, her long hair shining in the sunlight, he felt his heart swell. He gestured for her to come in. The two girls exchanged hugs and hellos, but Andrea was quick to excuse herself. She gave Josh the secret wink of a co-conspirator before slinking quietly out the door.
Rosa didn’t take out her chemistry textbook once they had settled into the living room. Instead she looked him over with worry creasing her forehead. “I’ve been worried about you,” she said.
“Thanks for caring.” He gave her a small smile, and kissed her forehead. “But everything is okay.”
“You were right about Lily’s death not being an accident. I didn’t really want to believe it, but after today. . . .”
Josh nodded. “I know. I wish to God I was wrong.”
Rosa took his hand in hers, and with her other hand she ran her fingers up his arm. It was meant to be comforting, but Josh found her touch provocative. The small action sent chills up his spine. For a second, he just wanted to take her into his arms and forget all his problems. He had to remind himself that his overactive hormones had gotten him into this mess in the first place. He took a deep breath and gently pushed her away. It wasn’t safe for her to be near him. He was the male version of the black widow.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked, confused by the rebuff.
“Do you want an honest answer?”
“I hope you’d never give me any other kind,” she replied with a weak smile.
“Then, no. I’m not all right. Not really. I won’t be all right until this killer is caught and everyone is safe.” Josh put his head in his hands. “I put your life on the line and I hate myself for that.”
Rosa gave him a halfhearted smile, but he could see that she was a little afraid. “Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
Josh felt an uncanny sense of déjà vu. “Jazz said the same thing.”
Rosa shifted uncomfortable on the couch, but said nothing. Josh wanted to reach out and comfort her, tell her that everything would be okay, but he couldn’t. As much as he hated to admit it, there was only one thing that he could do to keep her safe.
“What is it, Josh?” she asked. She could sense something was wrong. They already had a deep connection.
“Rosa, maybe it would be better if we stopped seeing each other for a little while.” Josh couldn’t look her in the eyes as he spoke. If he did, he might give in to his own selfishness because the last thing he wanted was to let her go. “It’s not right for me to keep you hanging around when I know it isn’t safe. I might as well stick a big target on your back.”
Josh kept his gaze averted and waited for some kind of response. He hoped she wouldn’t cry. He didn’t think he could stand hurting her. He lifted his eyes. He was shocked to find Rosa sitting with her arms crossed and a cocky smile on her lips.
“You don’t think you’re going to get rid of me that easily, do you?”
Rosa reached out for his hand again and Josh knew he didn’t have the strength or the willpower push her away a second time. “I don’t want to get rid of you!” he exclaimed. “I . . . I love you, but it isn’t—”
“I love you too,” she interrupted.
Her words stopped any protests. She loves me. Rosa loves me! Josh felt a rush of warmth and it was impossible for him to contain himself any longer. He scooped her into his arms, kissing her neck, following the path that led to her full, warm lips. He ran his hands through her long, soft hair even as his tongue explored the contours of her mouth. Her hands moved along his back, making him shiver though he was far from cold. Only when they were both breathless did they finally part.
“This isn’t fair to you,” Josh panted, even as he laid his head on her shoulder.
“I disagree,” she replied through passion-swollen lips. “I think it would be unfair for you to make this decision without giving me any input. I want to be with you.”
“Enough to go to the homecoming dance with me?”
“You want to go the dance with me?” She snickered. “Even though I’m not homecoming queen material?”
Josh had to laugh. “Because you’re not queen material. You’re something so much better.” He leaned down to kiss her again, and as he lost himself in her embrace, Josh felt happier than he had since he heard that Lily had died.
Bryan said he would spread the news about a party at Josh’s house, and he had been true to his word. The whole school was buzzing about it. Josh was beside himself. His house might have been larger than average for a family of three, but it couldn’t fit half the school. It couldn’t even fit half the senior class, at least not without severe damage being done. If his parents found out, they would kill him. That didn’t seem to worry Bryan. He charged on with his half-baked plan with little thought of what the consequence would be for Josh.
Josh went off in search of Bryan, firmly planning to vent his frustration on his overly exuberant friend. The hallway was thick with students because the homecoming court was about to be announced in the auditorium, and the entire school was headed in that direction. Before he could find Bryan, he ran into Kevin, who was displaying his school spirit by sporting his red letter jacket. Elena was hanging on his arm looking at him adoringly. She was apparently over the shock of Jasmine’s accident.
“I hear you’re having a big blowout this weekend, Josh,” Kevin said, slapping him on the shoulder. “Word has it, it’s by personal invite only. I’m invited, right pal?”
“Sure,” Josh replied. “I wouldn’t leave out my wrestling buddies.” He was relieved to hear Bryan had limited the guest list. There were sure to be a few crashers, but he could probably keep the party under control.
“You don’t mind if I bring a date, do you?” It was impossible to miss the underlying hint of cockiness in his tone. If only Kevin knew how little Josh cared that he was dating Elena. In fact, he was playing right into their hands by bringing her.
“Not at all.” Josh glanced at Elena. “Have you heard any news about Jasmine?”
Elena’s smile instantly vanished, and she looked at the floor. “There’s no change,” she whispered. “She’s still in a coma.”
“Have you seen her?”
“I wasn’t supposed to,” Elena admitted. “But I snuck in last night when I was working.” Her voice broke a little as she continued. “She . . . she looked awful.”
Josh would have liked to question her further, but Kevin was scowling at them, like they were planning to meet up for a romantic tryst instead of talking about a sick friend. There would be time enough to talk about Jasmine later.
“Come on, Elena. We need to get out of here. I’ll catch you later, Josh.”
“Later.”
Elena didn’t say goodbye, but as Kevin led her down the hall by the arm, she continued to peek over her shoulder. There was something odd about her expression. Josh wasn’t sure what it was. Fear? Suspicion? Maybe even guilt? He didn’t have long to think about. When Kevin noticed her staring, he gave her a violent jerk and whispered heatedly in her ear. Elena turned around and didn’t look back. Josh continued searching for Bryan, but he was interrupted again, this time by Rosa and Andrea. They came at him from different directions, but both had the same question.
“Josh, what is this I hear about you having a party?” Andrea demanded.
“You took the words right out of my mouth.” Rosa put her hands on her hips. “Is there a reason for celebrating that I haven’t heard about?”
“It was Bryan’s idea,” Josh told them. “Not mine.”
“What difference does it make whose idea it was?” Andrea asked. “The party’s at your house. Don’t you think that under the current circumstances people will think it’s a little odd that you’re throwing a party? Besides, aren’t you grounded?”
“My parents are never home,” Josh reminded her. “Everyone else will probably think I want to get drunk and forget the fact that my life has turned into a soap opera. And you know what? It’s starting to sound like a damn good idea to me.”
“Well, I don’t think so,” Andrea said bluntly, and crossed her arms.
“Why does Bryan want to have a party?” Rosa asked.