Authors: Angela Peach
I ran back to the car and got in, pulling it up alongside her as close as I could get. Getting her in the car was a tricky manoeuvre to say the least, but I managed it eventually. By the time I got back in the driver's seat, I was already trying to assess how serious this was and what I should do.
"Alison, I'm going to take you to the hospital" I said, pulling the blanket around her purple icy body. For the first time since I'd pulled up behind her, I saw a spark of fear and she shook her head vigorously. "Okay, it's okay. We won't go to the hospital" I soothed, stroking wet strands of her hair out of her face. "Do you want me to take you home?" She didn't answer, but dipped her head once. "Okay." I found myself moving forward to kiss her and just about managed to stop in time. I backed away, a flush of anger burning through me at how quickly and easily my resolve had slipped. I put the car in gear and sped off.
I pulled up outside the cottage and nervously surveyed the scene before me. All the lights were blazing and the front door was wide open. I
left the engine on and turned to Alison.
"Did you leave it like this?" I asked. She didn't look at me, but nodded gently. I sighed. "I'll go and get Gray to help bring you in. Wait here
."
I ran into the house, but then stopped dead. Something didn't feel right. I took a deep breath, suddenly aware of how stupid I'd been to just fly in without thinking the situation through.
For a start, Alison had obviously been attacked. The house was well lit, yet still and quiet. This meant that whoever had attacked her could still be here? What if they'd hurt Gray? What if it had been Gray that had done this?
Slowly, I backed out of the hallway. Now that my senses were heightened, I could smell a
fustiness in the air that didn't feel right. I sprinted back to the car, fumbling with the door. Once I was inside, I locked the doors and pulled Alison's face round to face mine.
"Alison, who did this to you? What happened?" I said, hoping the urgency in my voice would rouse her.
Her head was lolling around on her shoulders and I could tell she was very close to losing consciousness. I shook her, hard. "Alison! What happened? You need to tell me,
now
?"
"G…G…Gr…" she whispered, and I sat back in shock.
"Gray?"
She nodded, just before her eyes rolled back in their sockets and she lost her battle with consciousness.
I sucked in a sharp breath.
"I'm going to fucking kill him."
I got out of the car again, this time in a cold fury. I was unsure exactly what I was going to do, except teach him a lesson on how not to treat a woman. My heart was now trying to whisper thoughts that maybe she'd wanted to contact me, but he'd forbade it. Maybe that was why she'd not replied to any of my messages? Maybe I'd got him all wrong?
"Gray?" I shouted, moving through the cottage angrily, my fists balled at my side. I had no intention of using violence, but I wanted to be prepared to defend myself.
However, the place was deserted, and I saw no signs of a struggle. I walked around again, looking closer at things. There seemed to be a lot of medication scattered around, and it looked like they'd been sleeping in separate rooms.
I needed Alison to wake up and explain things, but from the
state of her it looked like that was going to be a while.
17
The Ugly Truth
It was fourteen hours
before Alison was able to keep her eyes open long enough to recognise me. Gray still hadn't returned and I'd built a fire to warm her through. Getting her undressed and into dry clothes had been challenging to say the least.
I'd called
the doctor who'd advised me to keep her warm and to wake her every now and then to get fluids into her. She told me that if her condition worsened I should call the emergency services immediately. But to be honest she seemed more exhausted than anything else, although had I not come along when I did, I'm sure she would have either collapsed at the side of the road or contracted hypothermia.
It was a phone call from Jazz that cleared up a lot of questions. When the house phone rung and
I saw her name on the caller display, I hesitated only a second before answering.
"Ali, how is he?"
she asked anxiously as soon as I answered.
"Um, this is Darcy" I said, suddenly getting
an icy rush through my veins. I knew from the prescription bottles that Gray was obviously unwell, but from Jazz's tone I got an idea just how seriously unwell.
"Oh. Is Ali there or is she still at the hospital?"
I noticed the surprise in her voice that it was me answering the phone.
"She's here, but she's in a bad way. I found her walking the streets in the rain this morning at four am. Jazz? I hope you don't mind me asking…what the hell is going on?"
There was a pause.
"Doc's got cancer. He's dying."
My breath caught in my throat. I looked over at Alison's sleeping form on the sofa.
"I'm really sorry. I think…I…" I couldn't bring myself to say it, but she got the message. I heard her exhale down the phone.
"Don't leave her side. Tell her I'll be there tomorrow"
she said, adding
"Please?"
almost as an afterthought.
"Of course. I'll wait here until you get here."
"Thank you Darcy."
I hung up and went to sit by the fire, throwing some coal on it to build it up. The cold feeling refused to leave my bones though and I felt sick.
Gray was dead? He'd been dying of cancer this whole time?
I felt completely betrayed. How could she have kept something like this from me
? And why? What had been her motives? Only one thing came to mind and that was that I'd been lined up as his replacement. The sick feeling in my gut increased as it all became crystal clear why she'd always said she'd never leave him, while at the same time keeping me holding on. I realised that had Gray not been dying, I never would have stood a chance.
The nausea made my head swim and for a second, I thought I might actually vomit. I felt tears escape as I sobbed silently into the fire. I'd always been second best to her. But that
hadn't been enough. She'd even denied me the opportunity to go to Sam, selfishly wanting to keep me here for herself.
Well she certainly pulled out all the stops to keep my attention on her!
I watched the flames start licking their way through the coals and held my stomach. How could she do this to me? Had she expected me to fall at her feet after Gray's funeral? I know I'd kept my mother's alcoholism a secret, but this was a thousand times worse.
I heard her stir behind me, but couldn't bring myself to turn around. I didn't want to look at her just yet. Instead I looked at my watch, wondering what time Jazz would get here. I wanted out of here now. After I made sure the fire was nice and warm, I went on the hunt for some clean blankets for myself.
I'd just made myself as comfortable as I could get in her armchair after piling the fire high with fresh coal when she said my name softly and I looked warily over at her. She'd raised herself up slightly and was regarding me with utter confusion.
"What happened to your face?" I asked, not wanting to drop my guard down, but curious as to what had transpired. She frowned and touched her face
in an absent minded way.
"I fell over. What are you doing here?" Her eyes suddenly opened wide. "Oh no. Oh
, Darcy! He's dead, isn't he? It wasn't a dream! Gray's dead!" she wailed, hysteria taking hold. Angry as I was at her I couldn't bear to see the pain she was in and I went to the sofa, putting my arms around her to comfort her.
We stayed that way for a while as I tried to keep my emotions distant from the situation. If anything, I was now more determined than ever to break free from her. After about ten minutes, she just stopped crying and stood up.
"I need the toilet" she stated in a flat voice before walking from the room. I rubbed my face, feeling emotionally wrung out and exhausted. She didn't return for a good ten minutes, but I felt no compulsion to go looking for her. When she finally came back in, she sat next to me on the sofa and we watched the fire together. Any other time, it would probably have been incredibly romantic.
"You got the fire going."
"What?"
"The fire. I never could get the hang of starting it. I used to use a whole box of firelighters each time
. Gray never knew."
I paused.
"I used two boxes of firelighters and a pile of newspapers because the logs didn't want to take" I admitted. The corners of her mouth turned up in a vague attempt at a smile.
"It's all about the kindling apparently" she said. Then she took my hand and I stiffened instantly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Gray. It was nice to have some normality in my life. You made me smile when I didn't think I was ever going to smile again. Around you, I felt like none of this was really happening, and I was just so sick of everyone's pity. I didn't want your pity. But I should have told you, and for that I am so sorry." She put my hand to her mouth and kissed it gently. I felt even sicker, mainly because I hated the way my heart skipped at the touch. I didn't know what to say, so I just stayed quiet. "Will you stay with me tonight and hold me? Please? I don't think I can be on my own just yet."
No! I'll stay with you, but I'm not going to be anywhere near you!
"Of course."
We lay down together on the sofa, me at the back, and she facing the fire. We didn't speak again and before long we both fell asleep in front of the gentle flames.
"Ali? Wake up sweetie?"
My eyes shot open. Jazz was crouched in front of the sofa, looking at Alison with concern. I became aware of another presence in the room and twisted my head around. There was a guy I didn't recognise watching us who looked like he'd been crying. I awkwardly removed myself from the sofa.
"I've got to go" I muttered, searching for my trainers. The fire had died out long ago and the room was now quite chilled.
"Thank you Darcy" Jazz said, her clear blue eyes grateful and sincere.
"No problem" I pulled my trainers on and left the room in a hurry, managing to avoid looking at Alison and trying to forget how comfortable I'd felt in her arms. Instead I went straight to my car and drove off.
Enough was enough.
Back home I called Sam. I asked her to come over as soon as she could.
18
In Recovery
Everything was blurred and fuzzy. I was aware that Chris was with me the whole time while Jazz commuted back and forth between unavoidable work commitments, and that
Gray's parents came and stayed for the week leading up to his funeral, and for a few days after. We'd seen them a couple of times since he got the 'news', but he hadn't wanted them to remember him as being ill. That was a privilege reserved for me and me alone.
The f
uneral itself was mind blowing in a very surreal way. A lot of his old work colleagues and friends from London hired a small coach and travelled down for the weekend, and his uncle and two cousins made a special trip from Scotland, despite not having really been that close.
Everyone cried and held each other, and held me, and cried some more, but
my tears were locked away again. I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop if I started so I held them in.