Playing with Fire (10 page)

“I think you’ve done quite enough work for today. The house looks great, but you look a mess, and you’re exhausted.” He took the glass from her and pulled her out of the chair. For a space of a heartbeat, he held her against him, their bodies touching, his rigid cock pressing against the softness of her stomach, her hardened nipples pushing into his chest. Then he released her and took her hand. “Come on. What you need is a hot bath and a nap.”

“A bath?”

“Works wonders, they tell me.” He led her into the house and helped her put away the cleaning supplies. “I’d take you out to dinner tonight, but I’m not in the mood to drive fifty miles to a restaurant. If we parade around in Stoneham, your reputation will be shot by tomorrow. Take your bath, take a nap, and I’ll be back about seven thirty. We’ll order some pizza, okay?”

“Pizza?” Didn’t she just sound like an idiot, parroting his words.

“Yeah. You know, the flat dough with all the stuff on it. And I’ll hide behind the door when the delivery boy gets here.” He grinned.

She gave him a shaky smile in return.

“That’s better,” he said. “So. Seven thirty, okay?”

“Do you think this is such a good idea?” She knew she sounded shaky.

“I think it’s a fine idea. And you will, too, once I get back here.” He pulled her to him again, cradling her against his chest, stroking her hair, soothing her. “I’ll see you in a while, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He started toward the front door then stopped. “We’re going to face this, Cassie. You may not want to, but you’ve got so much bottled up inside you, and I have so much to say. There’s no running away this time. I’ll see you later.”

Cassie had to admit Griff was right; the bath was great medicine. She’d stuck some bubble bath in her suitcase for whatever reason, and she dumped most of it into the tub. Leaning her head back, she sank into the welcoming warmth and let the softly lapping water and heady aroma do its work.

She’d gone and made an ass of herself with her meltdown, that was for sure. She cringed just thinking of it. What a fool he must think her, but it was an emotional catharsis long overdue. Maybe now she could take care of business in Stoneham, shake the dust from her shoes, and get on with her life.

But the question she kept trying to ignore just wouldn’t go away. What was she going to do about Griff? When she thought of him it was with a mixture of dread and anticipation, her dilemma continuing to swirl around her. The imprint of his lips still lingered, and the memory of his touch wouldn’t go away. She’d come back to Stoneham still so full of anger, determined to close that chapter of her life. Since then, all she’d done was let herself be drawn tighter and tighter into his web. He had asked the right question of her, though—what did she want from him? Too bad she didn’t have a pat answer. Did she want to push him out of her life forever, or was she willing to risk her heart one more time?

This was a different Griffin Hunter than the untamed, careless boy who had taken her to his bed. That’s what he had been then, a boy, even at twenty-four. This was an older Griffin, matured by the challenges life had thrown at him. A man, and a greater threat than the boy had ever been.

On a sigh, she let her hands drift to the nest of curls between her legs, recalling how Griff’s hands had felt so long ago, teasing at those same curls, invading her body with a magic touch. This was a fantasy of long familiarity, played out whenever the memories of him became too hot to turn off. She spread her knees wide, letting the hot water lap against her skin and rubbing her fingers against her labia. She tingled just from thinking of those two nights with him, and she squeezed her puffy skin between thumb and forefinger.

She regretted not bringing her vibrator with her, the poor substitute for Griff that had eased her frustration on many nights. Instead, she let one finger slide over her clitoris, between the lips of her sex, past the throbbing flesh that begged for stimulation. When she slipped a finger into her pussy and slid it back and forth, she closed her eyes and imagined it was Griffin’s hands, Griffin’s fingers. Her vaginal muscles clenched around the intrusion, and she moved her hand in and out, faster and faster.

When she placed her thumb on her clit, she imagined it was Griff’s thumb, circling and teasing. Her hips jerked as the heat built inside her. Bracing her feet on the bottom of the tub, her head barely above water, she increased the tempo, bucking against her hand until she could feel the tremors start. Then she was there, her whole body clenching as the spasms rippled through her.

But her fingers were not Griff’s, her hands were not his. Nothing she could provide on her own was a substitute for the thick hardness of his cock as it probed at her entrance and pushed up inside her.

She lay in the tub, weak and just mildly satisfied. Why had she done this? Instead of bringing herself relief, she’d stimulated herself to an edge she might just fall over.

Better make up your mind, girl. The evening is approaching. Open that door, and there’s no going back.

She dried her hair and brushed it until it shone. Tonight, she let it fall loose to her shoulders, unrestrained by a clip or ponytail holder. She pulled on fresh jeans and a summer sweater in deep rose, fastened little gold hoops in her ears, and swiped pink lipstick across her mouth. Putting on the war paint, she told herself. Did she even have a clue as to what she was doing?

At seven-thirty, waiting for the doorbell to ring, she was startled by a tap on the back door. She pulled aside the curtain on the little window. Griffin stood there, grinning at her.

“I didn’t even hear you drive up,” she said, opening the back door. “Why didn’t you come to the front? Don’t tell me you’re worried about the neighbors.”

“Yes and no.” He stepped into the utility room and threw a small canvas bag on the counter.

“What’s that?”

“My stuff. I’m spending the night.”

Just like that. For a long moment she felt suffocated. Her chest hurt, and she couldn’t breathe.

“You can wipe that look off your face. I have other reasons, which I’ll tell you about over pizza.” He grinned again. “Although, I can’t say I haven’t entertained naughty thoughts about you.”

“What reasons?” Her voice strangled in her throat.

“The kind that explain why you didn’t hear me.” He gave her a stern look. “I walked and came in the back way. No one sees me arrive here or leave.” He propelled her into the kitchen. “First, let’s order the pizza. I’m starved.”

Insisting she answer the door to the delivery boy herself, Griffin shoved money into her hand to pay for it. He avoided her probing questions while they ate, and Cassie tried to sit as relaxed as she could. But the sexual stimulation she’d given herself in her bath had left her whole body one big throbbing pulse.

If I could go ahead and attack him, then send him on his way. I don’t know if I even want to know the real reason he’s here. Or care.

After they’d finished the last crumbs and cleaned everything up, he took her hand and pulled her into the living room. Sitting on the couch, he tugged her down beside him.

“First of all, I don’t want you to freak out about what I’m going to tell you. I have to let you know, though, because it’s why I made up my mind to spend the night.”

A tiny thread of fear wriggled through her.

“The whole business with Diane’s bedroom bothered me,” he began. “What could someone possibly want that an airhead like Diane would have? Then, when I was working in the yard, I saw where someone had been digging around some of the shrubbery, close to the house.”

“What?” What the hell?

“It wasn’t landscaping work, I can tell you that.” He rubbed his jaw. “They were digging for something and then trying to cover it up. Then I remembered Diane had planted some of those bushes with me, when she was doing her ‘let’s do some yard work together’ thing. It dawned on me someone might have thought she’d buried something there.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be.” Cassie was astounded. Diane wasn’t a complicated person. What would she have that would cause this stir of activity?

“Something’s going on,” he continued, “and I don’t feel easy about it. With your mother gone and you here by yourself, whoever it is might decide to get bolder. I don’t like the idea of you being all alone here.”

“But where will you sleep?”

“You could always invite me into your bed, sugar,” he drawled, but when her entire body tensed, he became serious. “I’m sorry, Cassie, That wasn’t funny. And I owe you a big explanation about this afternoon.”

He stood up, stuck his hands in his jeans pockets, and stared out the window at the fading light.

“I don’t even know where to begin here. I can’t apologize for my life, and I won’t. I was what I was, and I did what I did. Nobody held a gun to my head. Even before my mother died, I lived for the excitement. I liked my bad boy reputation. After that, it was easy to use her death as an excuse.”

He paused, still looking out into the dark.

“The disaster with Diane never should have happened. Oh, I liked her all right, and she was great in bed. But nobody in that crowd ever expected anything lasting of anyone else. That’s why we could be so free with each other. The pregnancy shocked me. There was just one time I didn’t use a condom, but I guess that was enough.

“I told you being married was the last thing she wanted,” he went on, “but she wanted money. Her mistake was in thinking I had any. She was bored when I told her I thought we should clean up our act.” He kept his back to her as if afraid to face her while he talked.

Cassie sat immobilized, barely breathing, just listening. “What about us?”

She had to know the truth, whatever it was.

“I wanted you the first time I saw you in your little cheerleading outfit.” The words exploded in a whooshing breath, as if the confession had been hidden too long. “But I knew you’d never go out with me. You were just the stuff of my dreams. Then you went away to college, and time went by. The first summer you went off somewhere to work, but the next year, when you came back, I took a look at you and realized I was in love.”

“In love.” She echoed his words, tasting them, testing them.

He turned to face her, a rueful look on his face. “Beats all, doesn’t it? You were
my
guilty little secret because I don’t think I even believed in love. Shocked the shit out of me. And that was a problem, you see. Because, how would I ever get you to think that way about me? I wasn’t just out there by accident that night, Cassie. I sat on my front porch for three nights running, hoping you would walk by and I could get you to come up and talk to me. I never expected what happened to happen.”

“Didn’t you?” The words seemed stuck in her throat.

“No. But I sure as hell hoped. Please don’t think I took it lightly, because I didn’t. Those two nights we had together kept me going for the past six years. I gave you my heart, Cassie, and then you ran away with it. I’ve never gotten it back.” He stood in silence for a long moment. “When I tell you now that I love you, I’m not just saying what I think you want to hear. I’ve never said that to anyone else. Not even Diane. Or, maybe, especially her. Because you’re the only one I’ve ever loved.”

Cassie didn’t move, not knowing what to do next.

“I don’t expect you to say anything,” he told her. “I just wanted you to know. I don’t have any illusions about the future, but it was important to tell you how I feel.” He turned and moved next to the couch. “I also wanted to apologize for this afternoon. That was a rotten thing to say. I’ve just been storing up so much anger all these years, it jumped out without my thinking.”

“Why didn’t you ever call me?” she asked. “You could have found me if you really wanted to.”

He shrugged. “Too ashamed. Too proud. Besides, what did I have to offer? What could I say? ‘Hi, Cassie. Your sister’s dead. The town thinks I killed her. I didn’t, and now I want us to be together?’ Do you know how that would have sounded?”

“You could have told me how you felt,” she insisted, her heart fracturing more and more as she listened to him.

“Would you have listened then? Ask yourself that. Now,” he said, pulling himself together with visible effort, “if you could direct me to some sheets and blankets, I’ll fix myself up on the couch. I’d feel weird sleeping in your parents’ room, and I sure as hell won’t sleep in Diane’s.”

They stared at each other through the gloom, the gathering dark underlining the silence. She knew she should run upstairs, lock herself in her bedroom, and, in the morning, run back to Florida as fast as she could. Instead, she just kept looking at Griffin, searching for some kind of answer.

Finally, she broke the spell. “You could sleep in mine. With me.” She said it so softly she wasn’t sure he heard her.

He gave her a hard look, his eyes like cold steel. “Don’t say that unless you mean it, sugar. I haven’t got that much control left in me. When I bury myself deep inside you, I won’t let you walk away again.”

She could no more have stopped what she did next than halt a runaway train. She had lived with her memories for six years. She’d sworn she’d never come within ten feet of him again, but now, here, she knew what a false promise that was. As badly as she’d been burned, the flame still beckoned. Not knowing what would happen afterward, if he even meant half of what he said, she still obeyed the insistent call of her body. Standing up, she took his hand and led him to the stairs.

With her back to him, she said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve done this, so I’m a little out of practice. Of course, they say it’s like riding a bicycle; the body never forgets.”

She faced him in her room, more nervous and afraid than she’d ever been in her life. Even more than their first time together in his spartan bedroom. Griffin’s memories of her, just like hers of him, were light years past. Would he still find her as desirable? Would the passion still be there?

She lifted her hands, palms outward. “Help me.”

He captured her hands in his. “Cassie, I have to tell you this before we go any further. I have nothing to offer you. And you have to know, if you hook up with me, this town will be pointing its collective fingers at you. It won’t be pretty.”