Playing With Fire (Guarded Hearts) (11 page)

Was I dreaming? Was she really here saying this to me? Why was she coming to the house at this time of night, barely dressed and crying? If Chris touched her, I didn't know what I'd do, but I also wouldn't be her fall back. I needed to make sure he was out of the picture for good.

"I love you, Maddy, so much, and I've dreamt of hearing you say those things. However, before this goes any further, I need the whole story. What about Chris? Why are you here now, dressed like this and crying?"

She was staring at her lap again. I lifted her chin up and met her beautiful hazel eyes. She started sobbing, so I reached over and pulled her onto my lap. She rested her head against my chest, and the tears just kept flowing. I rubbed her head and sat silently until she was ready to talk to me. After about a half-hour, she stopped crying.

"I left him."

"Who? Chris? When? What happened?"

"I don't think I can talk about this right now."
Is she kidding? I have to know. She needs to tell me now because it can't be as bad as what I'm imagining in my head. At least, I hope it's not.

"Baby, listen, I understand you're upset and exhausted. I need you to tell me what's going on, and then we can go lie down."

"Can I take a shower first?"

Fuck. Why did she need a shower? I hoped it was because she was cold and wanted to warm up, because if it was because he touched her or hurt her, I was going to lose it.

"Why do you need to shower first? Talk to me, Maddy. What happened?"

She looked as if she was going to start crying again. "Carter, I promise I'll tell you everything. Just, please, let me shower."

"Okay, whatever you need. Just, please, don't be long."

She walked off to the bathroom without another word, and silently closed the door. A couple minutes later, I heard the shower turn on. Now I was left with nothing but my imagination, and that was a dangerous thing.

Madison

I opened the bathroom door and his head immediately snapped up to look at me. When he saw I was only in a towel, I saw a fire in his eyes that warmed me from the inside out. "I didn't bring anything with me. Do you have something I could sleep in?"

He was still staring at me. "Carter?"

"Uh...yeah. Let me find you something." He started going through his drawers, looking for something for me to wear even though I knew anything he gave me would be obnoxiously huge. He gave me his favorite USC shirt, sweatpants, a pair of his boxers, and socks. "If you need a sweatshirt, I can grab one for you."

I would rather have him keep me warm than a sweatshirt. "No, these will be fine, thanks." I turned back to the bathroom so that I could get dressed.

"Maddy, wait!" I turned back around and Carter was walking toward me. "Turn around." I did as he asked me to and felt him reach around me. I looked down and saw he was putting my necklace on me. It was my birthday present that Chris threw back at him, and I had it back now. "I hated that he gave that back to me, and it killed me when I thought you didn't want it."

"Carter, I was so upset when he did that. I'm so happy you gave it back to me." I stood up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss, then walked back to the bathroom to get dressed. When I came out again, he was lying on the bed against his favorite backrest with his eyes closed. Was he asleep? Should I just go and lie on the couch, and we could talk in the morning?

"Are you just gonna stand there and watch me, or are you gonna join the party?" He opened his eyes and gave me one of the smiles that made my heart burst.

I climbed into bed with him and settled onto his chest. He put his arm around me and held me like he was scared I'd disappear, which he probably was at this point. Maybe we could just stay like this and he'd forget about us having to talk.

"If you think I'm going to just let you fall asleep without talking, you're crazy."

Damn, he always knew exactly what I was thinking. It was one of the things I hated and loved about him at the same time.

"Okay…I'll tell you, but I want you to just let me talk. No questions and no interruptions until the end."

"That's fine, baby. I just need to know."

"When Chris and I got home tonight, he knew something was up with us. As soon as we walked into the house, he started drinking and he was just standing there staring at me. I went to change into my pajamas and when I came back, he hadn't moved. After he drank half the bottle, he looked up at me and said…"

I really had no idea how I was going to get through this story. "…he asked me if I slept with you and I told him no. I said that nothing ever happened between us, but he didn't buy it. He said that, even if nothing happened, you wanted me and that was not okay because I was his. He told me that if I felt nothing for you and really loved him, I needed to prove it to him and if I didn't, he'd make sure I regretted it. He said if I ever even thought about leaving him for you, he'd kill you. He made me go into the bedroom and get undressed. I just stood there watching him, feeling like none of this was real. This couldn't really be happening to me. He told me to get undressed because I was going to prove to him how much he meant to me. I told him I didn't feel good and really just wanted to go to sleep, but he smacked me and told me he didn't give a shit what I wanted."

I felt Carter's whole body tense beneath me. I didn't know how I was going to get through the rest of this. I sat up because I couldn't lie with Carter when I told him what happened. I just prayed to God that he didn't hate me for it. I didn't know what I'd do if I lost him. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I could feel Carter's eyes on me, but I knew he was trying to respect me and give me my space.

"He threw me onto the bed and, I swear Carter, I didn't want to. The only way I made it through was by pretending it was you, that it was your hands on me and not his. Once he was done, he rolled over and I lay there until he passed out."

I took a second to catch my breath because I felt like everything was closing in on me. "When I was lying there, all I could think about was you. I was going to tell you how much you meant to me tonight at the social. I was even going to ask you to help me get away from him. I was scared, though, and I acted like a coward, but lying there in that bed after what he did, I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I waited a while, just to make sure he was really asleep, and I left. I didn't want to risk getting clothes or anything like that, because I didn't know what would have happened if he woke up. I've known for a while, really since the first time I met you, that it was you I wanted to be with. But I was scared to leave him. If I'm being honest, I'm petrified of what will happen when he wakes up. I understand if you're mad at me, or if you don't want to be with me anymore. I just need you to know that it's always been you."

I stole a glance at him and saw a mixture of emotions on his face-anger, sadness...but, most of all, I saw love. He grabbed me and pulled me down onto his chest, the way I'd been lying before.

"I'm here, baby. I love you so much. None of this is your fault and I could never be mad at you for it. I promise he won't lay a hand on you again. I'll kill him first. You're safe with me, and I'm not letting you go this time. You can stay with me as long as you need to. Hell, I'd be okay with you moving in. It's all up to you at this point. You just tell me what you need and I'll do it. We'll find a way to get you your things, and I'll deal with Chris."

"No, Carter, you can't! I don't think I could live with myself if something happened to you because of me. Please, just stay away from him." I looked up at him and he lowered his lips to mine. He kissed me with so much love that it overwhelmed me.

"Maddy, listen, I need you to understand that I can't just drop what this asshole did to you. He needs to pay. If you don't want me to take care of it, then you need to call the cops."

"No, I can't call the cops, Carter. His father is a judge, he is a straight
‘A’ student, and I'm just some foster kid who, technically, never told him stop while he was doing it."

I didn't know what to say to him so we just lay there with each other and, eventually, fell asleep.

Carter

She fell asleep pretty quickly, but I knew there was no hope for me. I couldn't get the image of her and Chris out of my head. If she didn't need me, I would have left as soon as I heard what happened. The amount of rage coursing through my body was unbearable. I needed to get up to punch something and I wouldn't mind if that something was his face.

I woke up to what sounded like a herd of elephants busting down my door. I knew who it was and I was prepared for whatever was about to happen. I slipped out from under Maddy. She was still, miraculously, sound asleep. I shut the bedroom door as quietly as I could. If at all possible, I'd like to deal with this and have him out of here before she got up. As soon as I opened the front door and saw his face, all of the anger I'd suppressed came rushing back to me. "You have a lot of fucking nerve coming here."

"You know exactly why I'm here. Where is she, Carter?" He was looking around me. I was guessing trying to see if she was there.

"Where is who?"

"Don't fuck with me. I know she's here. You know what? I don't even need to ask where she is. I'm pretty sure I can guess." He pushed past me, taking me by surprise, but I quickly moved around him and was prepared to be a barrier between him and the bedroom.

"Get out of my way before I make you!"

I wanted him to try. All he needed to do was give me another reason. I was already worked up from the night before. "I'd like to see you try. Because, just so you know, that is the only way you'll ever get near her again. She isn't yours anymore, Chris, and she hasn't been for a while now. You need to stay away from her from now on." He needed to understand that he was not going to get to her. I'd protect her from him and any other asshole that I needed to.

"Aw, how sweet, you love her too? Did she tell you how she fucked me before she came running to you last night?"

That was it. I only had so much control and he crossed the line. Before he knew what was happening, my fist connected with his jaw and he was on the floor. "You'll never talk about her like that again. You need to go before-"

"Carter?"

I turned as soon as I heard her voice. She surveyed the scene and a look of horror marred her beautiful face. I backed up toward her, never taking my eyes off Chris. I learned early on that you never turn your back on your enemy.

Once I reached her, I could feel the fear radiating off her. It drove me crazy that he had this kind of power over her. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and make her understand that she was safe with me. First things first, though, I had to get this asshole out of my house. "You need to leave...now."

"You know what's so funny is that you fell for her shit so easy. She left me for you after two years. What makes you think you're different? A whore is a whore no matter what john she's with. I just-"

"You need to shut your fucking mouth now!" The power and anger behind my voice even surprised me, and I felt Maddy jump behind me.

"That's fine. I'll go for now, but you can't protect her forever, you know. I don't hand over what's mine so easily, especially when I'm not done with it. Make no mistake. You'll pay for this, Carter. I'll see you soon, Madison."

He slammed the door and disappeared. It took everything in me not to go after him, but I knew she needed me more than I needed to beat the shit out of Chris. I turned around to look at her and she was staring at the floor.

"I'm going to go now."

WHAT???

Madison

I had to get out of here before Chris came back. I couldn't take it if something happened to Carter because of me. I was more terrified than I'd ever been and, for a minute, I considered going back to Chris if he'd leave Carter alone. He grabbed my face and made me look at him, but I closed my eyes because if I saw his face, I might lose all the courage I had to do this.

"Look at me, Maddy!"

I just shook my head. I couldn't say anything because I didn't trust my own voice. All of a sudden, Carter's lips were on mine and all rational thought left me. This felt so right. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt with anyone before. He pulled back and looked at me right in my eyes, and the love that I saw in his face diminished any hope I had that I could walk away from him. "I love you."

"Why did you say you were going to leave, then?" He looked so confused and hurt. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. He meant everything to me and was the only person I'd ever really felt love from. How did I explain this to him?

"I can't stand the thought of something happening to you because of me. I love you so much that it hurts, and I'm scared to lose you. I don't know what Chris is going to do, and it terrifies me."

He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. He lay down and pulled me down on top of him. I settled onto my side and molded my body to his, draping my leg over his, and laying my head on his chest. This felt so right to me, like nothing in this world would ever compare to it. He held me so tight and made me feel so safe with him. Chris never wanted to lie together, and I usually avoided the bedroom because he always wanted sex when we were in there.