Plead Forgiveness (Loyalty Series) (44 page)

When Gavin saw the animation leave Ella’s face, he
asked, “What’s amiss, little one?”

“I think we need to return to the castle,” she
replied, hiding her true emotions. “I promised to look in on Colban as well as
Rachel. Her time is near, you know.”

He was not fooled, but he let it go and said, “Aye, I
ken. Our midwife has been tending the wife of one of Mackenzie’s men, but she
has been sent for.” He paused then asked, “Will ye ride with me again on the
morrow?”

“Aye, if that is your wish.”

“Aye, that is what I wish, that and much more,” he
said in a husky voice as he lifted her to Apollo’s back.

Ella was not ignorant to the underlining meaning of
his words and choose to remain silent while they rode back to the castle. Her
heart was still pounding in her chest when she reached her chamber to change
into a gown, but it was not from sprinting up the stone stairs, rather from the
impact of Gavin’s words.

As she leaned back against her chamber door, taking
deep breaths to calm her racing heart, a terrifying realization washed over
her. What would her father and brothers do when they discovered her here in
Scotland, married to Laird Macleod? The Macleods and Mackenzies were united by
her oldest brother, Keir, and his marriage to Gavin’s sister, Eva.

Wife to Gavin, she may be, but once her identity was
discovered that would end. It broke her heart to admit the truth, that soon the
Macleods would not want her, just like the Mackenzies.

The next fortnight Ella slowly emerged from her grief
as she spent more and more time with Gavin and his family. She began taking the
midday and evening meal in the hall, but continued to break her fast with Ualan
and Fin, who had become close friends and confidantes.

Like Colban and his family, Ualan and Fin continued to
encourage her to forgive her husband. Their loyalty to Gavin was evident, but
they made sure to let Ella know they were loyal to her as well.

The smell of fresh baked bread hung in the air of the
kitchen one morning, while Ella tried to explain to Ualan and Fin why she could
not accept Gavin.

“I do not belong here. I bring nothing to the clan.”

Ualan stopped rolling the dough in front of him and
then looked at her with a stern expression. He slowly said, “Nae, lass. Ye
bring joy to all those around ye, especially to me and Fin.”

Fin nodded her agreement as she showed the whiteness
of her dazzling smile.

“There is something I have done that I am nae proud
of, things which would cause you to regret those kind words,” Ella said,
averting her gaze.

Ualan and Fin looked at each, startled by her
confession, then each took a seat next to her.

Fin put her arm around her shoulders and asked, “Ella,
we have come to love ye more than ye will ever ken, and there is naught that ye
could have done that would change the way we feel about ye.”

“I love you both, too. That is why it will hurt when
you find out the horrible thing I have done.”

Ualan’s first thoughts had been that she had lost her
maidenhead before becoming Gavin’s wife, but it was dismissed since he had seen
evidence of her purity on the bedding sheets the morning after their wedding.

In a soft voice that was uncommon to all but the two
present females, Ualan asked, “Lass, will ye tell us what ye believe ye have
done?”

“Nae, but soon all will know and hate me,” Ella
confessed.

Fin asked, “Did ye commit this horrible act before or
after ye came to the Macleods?”

Enshrined in acute misery, she replied, “Afore. . .
many years ago.”

Knowing that Ella was only ten and eight, he asked,
“How old were ye when ye committed this grave sin?”

“Ten summers.”

Ualan tried to think of some heinous act that she
could have committed, but hearing that she had been still a child, made him
expel the breath he was holding. It was merely a child’s foolish imagination
that led to her belief, he told himself. However, she was no longer a foolish
child, so why did she still believe such folly?

“Yer were but a child,” he began, “what could ye have
possibly done to warrant such a belief?”

“I wish I were strong enough to tell you, Ualan, but I
cannot. I am truly sorry, I should nae have spoken of it.”

“Nae, lass,” Ualan said as he covered her hand with
his. “I am glad ye trusted us enough to speak of it, even if ye have nae
revealed all. We will not tell a soul of what ye have spoken this day, but ken
this, ye are nae alone. Ye will ne’er be alone.”

He stood, then walked over to check the ovens before
continuing, “We have all done things we have come to regret. Time is an amazing
thing. It can bring wisdom and the ability to see clearly events of the past.
Ye fear what others will discover, but mayhap what ye remember is nae what
others would see.”

Ella walked over and hugged him as she said, “Thank
you. I will think much on your words.”

He gave her a quick squeeze, then said in his usual
gruff tone, “Now be gone! Food dinna cook itself, so there is much work to be
done.”

The two women giggled at the capricious man whose mood
and tone changed as often as the direction of the wind. After quickly hugging
Fin, Ella left for the stables and remained unaware that a person lurked in the
shadows.

Ualan asked, “Ye heard?”

“Aye, I heard,” Gavin replied as he walked into the
kitchen.

“What do ye make of it?”

“I dinna ken, but intend to find out,” he replied to
his trusted friend. “Eight years she has carried this burden. . .” he paused
for a moment to make a few connections in his head. “Eight years ago her parents
were killed, she was then sent to live at Greystone and Philip became her
guardian.”

“So ye think it has to do with her parents’ deaths?”

“Aye, it would make sense. She refuses to speak of her
parents or how they died, so mayhap she blames herself for their deaths.”

Fin interjected, “As a child, Ella may have blamed
herself for their deaths, but as a grown woman, I find it hard to believe that
she would nae see the truth of the matter.”

Gavin mulled over her words, then said, “Unless it had
been confirmed continuously for eight years.”

Fin exclaimed, “Dear God, who would do such an evil
thing to a child?”

“Her guardian, the Baron of Greystone.”

Outraged, Ualan asked, “Why would he want to do that
to the lass?”

“Philip told Ella that death follows her,” Gavin
explained with a pained look in his eyes. “First her parents, then on the day
she arrived at Greystone Eleanor’s father, sister, niece and lastly her own
child.”

Fin gasped at the horror Ella had faced after losing
her parents. She wanted to weep for her new friend for what that despicable
Philip of Greystone had done to her.

Ualan was equally aghast and asked, “How did ye learn
of this?”

“Sir James explained all to me afore he left. He dinna
ken Ella’s parents, since one of them was a distant relation from Eleanor’s
mother’s side of the family. Eleanor and James shared only the same father, nae
mother.”

Ualan nodded his head in understanding, then said, “Go
to her now. She needs ye more than I realized.”

“Thank ye both for being so good to her.”

“We are the ones who should be thanking ye,” Ualan
confessed.

He nodded, then left the kitchen in search for his
wife, whom he found moments later in the stables.

Riding at neck breaking pace beside his wife, Gavin
realized that when something plagued Ella, she rode as if the devil himself
were chasing her. Almost two months had passed since she had come into his
life, in which time he had learned many of her habits and the emotions they
reflected.

When she tucked her hair behind her ear or bite her
bottom lip, she was nervous. When she became playful like a child, often
challenging him to a race or it was because she was happy. Another trait she
showed when she was in high spirits was to talk non-stop; this was Gavin’s
favorite because it allowed him to see that her beauty ran clear down to her
soul.

He also learned that his little wife was quite
opinionated and not the least bit concerned with voicing her beliefs or
concerns. Her gaze never wavered as did other women and most men, even when
they debated a topic. And Gavin firmly believed that the truth could be found
in the eyes and when people lowered their gaze, it showed their greatest
weakness.

Being a confident, intelligent woman, she never
capitulated without a fight. If he happened to prove her wrong, she would
graciously concede defeat, something most people of nobility rarely did. He
found himself following her lead when she proved him wrong, but since neither
of them was one to gloat, it made surrendering a point easier.

There debates were often over women’s clothing,
horses, proper nutrition for warriors, weapons, castle improvements, village
improvements, in addition to philosophy and history. Gavin had never spent so
much time just talking and debating with a woman, but he found both highly enjoyable
with Ella.

Ella was also exultant with the turn in their
relationship, even though she was loath to admit it. Her husband was able to
make her laugh just as easily as he made her think. The mental challenge that
surrounded their conversations intrigued her, but it was the way he looked at
her that held her breathless and completely spellbound.

She could feel the sexual magnetism that made him so
confident and with every seductive gaze he cast her way, her heart turned in
response. Whether it was his tender and patient manner or the maddening hint of
arrogance he often used to tease her, she knew her heart would soon belong to
him.

With these thoughts clouding her mind, Ella almost
forgot the new mare she rode, one of the many willed to her Uncle James. Her
attention return to Gavin, aware that he was allowing her a reprieve from the
normal banter.

When they had set off this morning, her mood had been
anything but jovial, due to her conversation with the cooks. Even though she
had not fully confessed her sin from eight years ago, the memory left her
despondent. This was not the first time her dismal thoughts got the better of
her, sending her racing over the breathtaking moors, but leaving her voiceless.

Acute and perceptive, Gavin gave her the space she
needed. When she finally slowed the sable mare to a walk, he complied by doing
the same, then patiently waited for her to break the silence.

“Do you believe boldness breeds strength?”

Her innocent question sent bolts of fire to Gavin’s
loins as images of breeding ignited his imagination. The perfection of her face
and form left him hard with desire day in and day out, yet not so much as a
kiss passed between them since they had been wed. Now, she talks of breeding.
Lord,
does she have any idea the effect she has on me.

At night Gavin dreamed of her naked in his bed, with
arms stretched out, welcoming him to her body. He would caress the delicate
flare of her slender hips, the mercilessly tight and narrow waist, then lower
to the silken thighs firm from years of wild rides on horseback. Perspiring and
randy as a goat, he would awaken with intense need for the female in the next
chamber. Swimming in the frigid loch each morning was now mandatory. After
cooling his ardor in the frigid water, he would return often to watch her sleep
for a moment or an hour.

Trying to clear his mind and focus on her question,
Gavin failed. “Can ye repeat that?”

“Aye, do ye think boldness breeds strength? I am
toying with the idea of breeding this fine, spirited mare with Apollo.”

She toys with much more than that, he thought.
Thinking on her question, he responded dryly, “Aye, ‘tis a fine idea.”

Hearing his impassive tone, a wave of guilt washed
over Ella. His patience was wearing thin, she knew, with a wife who gave no affection
and continued to keep him at a distance. Unable to find words, she meekly
followed him to a small nearby loch.

With the saddles removed and the horses brushed down,
Ella moved to sit under a tree while he stripped down for a swim. With nary a
cloud in sight to hinder the summer sun, the day was overly warm and only
furthered her overheated state.

Her husband’s unclad body was sculpted like a Greek
God, she thought, as she watched him with wide eyes. His muscular form radiated
strength, power and supreme athleticism. Her gaze lingered on the
well-developed chest sprinkled with dark hair, then drifted lower to the
chiseled perfection of his stomach, unbelievably lean and without a trace of
fat. As he removed the last article of his clothing, he turned and gave her and
enticing view of his the molten bronze skin of his muscular back, as well as
his buttocks that looked rock hard.

Rock hard was the painful state Gavin found himself in
as he endured his wife’s brazen perusal of his body. Did the little innocent
wench think him made of stone, to look upon him so boldly without even
blinking. Dear God, did she just lick her lips, he asked himself. Without
another thought, he dove into the frigid water.