Plead Forgiveness (Loyalty Series) (40 page)

“What has happened?”

Paen faced his mother and Tavish, then relayed the
contents of the missive.

“Dear God and heaven! Where is she? She canna be
alone,” Lady Esme cried.

Taking hold of his mother’s shoulders, Paen stated,
“She went to the loch, Arth followed. Ye will nae go to her. We will allow her
to mourn in private, but I will watch over her from a distance and keep her
safe.”

His fierce gaze turned to Tavish. “I want Greystone’s
men escorted off our land immediately. Also, assign men to wait on the southern
border for Gavin.” Handing the missive to Tavish, he added, “I want Gavin to
read this before he arrives, and to be informed that his wife has already done
so.”

“Aye, the latter I will see done myself.” Tavish
started to walk away, then turned and said, “Do ye think Gavin kens of their
death?”

“Aye, and I believe he will be here verra soon.”

After Tavish left, Lady Esme cried to Paen, “What can
I do to help? Dear Lord, all I want to do is hold her, to take away her pain.”

“There will be time for that later, for now, just make
sure there is plenty of food ready for Gavin and the others.”

She nodded, hugged her son, and then rushed off to the
kitchens.

Before following Ella, Paen glanced around the bailey
and was stunned by the sight that greeted him. More than a hundred men, women
and children had gathered and were openly mourning the loss of Lady Ella’s aunt
and uncle. It was at that moment he realized how important Ella had become to
the Macleods. Her pain was now theirs, and they would stand by her during her
time of need. Paen had never been prouder of his clan, of his people, then he
was today.

Gavin arrived two hours later, eyes flamed with
rancorous ire after learning that he had been too late, and that his wife knew
that Lady Eleanor and Sir James were dead.

Paen greeted and accompanied him to the lock as he
explained, “I’ve kept my distance, but watched over her nevertheless. She was
never alone.”

“Thank ye.”

“Good Luck! Ye will need it.” With that said, Paen
went back to the castle.

Gavin entered the forest and walked briskly along the
path that led to the loch. All he could think about was enveloping her in his
arms, to try to absorb her pain. He hated tears in women, but Ella rarely
cried. Not even when her back was cauterized did she shed a tear. But this was
different. Even the hardest man would cry at the lost of a loved one.

As his powerful strides carried him to the loch, he
heard a twig snap behind him. Whipping around swiftly, he then saw his little
wife swing a thick tree branch at his head. He instantly threw his head back as
it whooshed passed his face and slammed into an adjacent tree.

So stunned by the attack, Gavin did not prevent her
next swing, which was aimed at his midsection. Deftly jumping back, he avoided
the blow, and then watched as the heavy branch she wielded smash into a tree.
Before she could swing again, he wrapped his arms around her from behind,
pinning her limbs to her sides.

“Let me go! They are dead because of you! I hate you!
Do you hear me? I want nothing to do with the man who destroyed my only
family!”

With a soft, controlled voice, he said, “Ella, I dinna
destroy yer family. I promise that Greystone and Montgomery will pay for what
they have done.”

“Keep your worthless promises,” she spat. “I have
nothing now because of you. They are all gone. . . all dead. They were the only
ones who wanted me. The only ones who loved me. Oh God, I’m all alone.” Her
voice became a whisper as her body went limp.

“Ye are nae alone. And they were nae the only ones who
want and love ye, little one.”

Tearing herself away, Ella pummeled his chest with her
little fists and cried, “Nae, I want them back. Don’t take them from me. My
heart. . . it hurts. They all died . . .because of me.”

Gavin let her vent her pain on him, then gathered her
close, and allowed her to sob into his chest. When her legs started to buckle,
he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the creeping willow tree that
sat on the bank of the loch. With his back against the massive trunk, he sat
down and held her against his heart, while her grief piqued. For over an hour
she stayed in his lap, fists clenched the fabric of his tunic, as she wept.

As he gently rocked her, yielding tender kisses to the
top of her head, he silently prayed.

‘Lord, I ask ye to see me through my vow to destroy
the men responsible for my wife’s loss. She has endured so much pain, so much
heartache. I pray to ye, ease her suffering, for I love her more than my own
life.”

After Ella cried herself to sleep, Gavin carried her
to her chamber in the castle and undressed her with the utmost care. He soon
had her in a knee length, sleeping gown and tucked her into bed. Even though he
was hungry, tired and in desperate need of a bath, he was unable to leave. He
settled himself on the padded window bench and watched his slumbering wife.

It was well past midnight when he finally was able to
leave her. He was surprised to learn that his family and guard had not sought
their beds, instead, they waited anxiously for him in the hall. The loyalty
they displayed for Ella filled him with pride and gave him the support he had
not known he needed.

Over the next hour, food and ale were as abundant as
the voiced opinions of how to care and seek retribution for Ella. When Gavin
finally retired for the evening, he had an intense yearning to go to his wife
and remain close-at-hand if she needed him.

He found her small body curled in the middle of the
large bed, looking so young and vulnerable. Quietly, he stoked the fire, and
then made himself comfortable in the well-cushioned chair in front of the
hearth. Sometime later he felt his mother cover him with a plaid, then saw her
go over to Ella and place a kiss upon her brow.

After his mother left, his concern for the
grief-stricken woman in the bed made it impossible to find sleep. When Ella
began to whimper softly, he slipped in beside her and cloaked her with his
warmth and love. Blessedly, she did not wake or even stir.

I pray this will nae be that last time ye allow me to
hold ye throughout the night, my love.

When the rays of the awakening sun bathed the chamber,
Gavin carefully extracted himself from Ella’s unknowing body and retreated to
his own solar. While he dressed, he thought on how he would care for his wife
as she mourned the death of her beloved aunt and uncle.

Her anguish and bitterness had only just begun, but he
was committed to giving Ella his unwavering love and support. He realized the
path that lay ahead was arduous, to say the least, but he was determined to win
her love, no matter the cost. His aim was clear and his strides were purposeful
when he left his chamber and ventured into the hall.

After a brief greeting to his mother and Bowen, the
lone occupants of the dais, he learned that the night before last his wife woke
screaming from a nightmare.

“She was so distressed by the dream that she did not
eat or drink, and barely spoke with anyone the entire day.”

“I will nae allow her to starve herself. If ye canna
sway her to eat, inform me at once.”

“What she needs is our love, nae upbraiding,” Lady
Esme admonished.

“When it concerns her health, I will nae tolerate any
willful defiance,” Gavin adamantly stated. “I suspect over the next few days
she will seek solitude over solace, which we will give her in limited measure.
She may eat in her chamber, but if she loses an iota of flesh, I will
intervene.”

“Aye, I agree, especially since she dinna have much to
lose to begin with,” Bowen interjected, receiving a scowl from his wife.

“I will do as I see fit,” Lady Esme said as she
stormed from the hall, not caring for the company of insensitive men.

“Dare I ask why she is so displeased,” Gavin asked
Bowen.

“She will smother the lass with warmth and affection,
and rebuke those who do otherwise. ‘Tis her way, ye ken. The night of Ella’s
nightmare, ‘twas yer mother who held close as she cried herself to sleep. And
last eve, she was so distraught by yer wife’s suffering that she wept till the
wee hours of the morning.”

“I will nae gainsay her or her maternal inclinations.
In truth, I am well pleased that mother has come to love Ella.”

“’Tis an understatement ye speak and she is nae the
only one who has come to love the wee lass. I would have been proud to call her
daughter.”

Gavin arched his eyebrows at Bowen and asked, “Dinna
ye mean ‘ye
are’
proud to call her daughter’?”

“Aye,” Bowen chuckled. “Ye have the right of it, since
I am yer stepfather.”

“Ye are the only father my siblings and I have ever
known or recognize, old man.”

“Aye, and I thank the Lord every day for that
miracle,” Bowen acknowledged, genuinely touched by Gavin’s words.

He stood, clapped the young laird on the back and
asked, “Will ye join me on the training field this day?”

“Aye, I will within the hour.”

Bowen took his leave while Gavin went to sit by the
hearth, isolating himself from the gathering in the hall. He needed a private
moment before he conveyed to his clan how they would proceed in seeking
reprisal for the death of Ella’s family as well as his concerns about her
welfare.

A quarter of an hour later, he stood in front of his
clan with his hand raised for silence, until the great hall was deathly quiet.

“As ye ken, my wife has suffered a terrible lost. I
stand before ye, as yer kin and laird, to beseech upon ye. . . .”

A sennight after word came of the death of her family,
Ella had yet to venture forth from her chamber. She scarcely ate and rarely
spoke. And when the castle slept each eve, she would sneak out of the keep and
go to the stables to be with Apollo.

Unbeknownst to her, during the darken hours of the
night, Gavin was always with her. When he heard her door chamber creak open, he
would follow her on her in her nocturnal visits to the stables and watch her
cry herself to sleep in Apollo’s stall. He allowed her this time to mourn with
the horse she believed was her best friend.

He would then carry her back to her chamber. It became
a routine and he wondered if she was aware how she arrived back in her bed each
morning. He didn’t bother to ask, since she refused to speak to him.

The only words Ella spoke were ‘thank you’ to those
who brought her meals. And no matter how hard he and his family tried, it
seemed impossible to break through the wall she erected.

Lady Esme and Maeve were deeply concerned when Ella
became bone-thin, and dark circles appeared under her eyes. Her beautiful face
now looked sickly pale and her cheeks were sunken in, but it was her lifeless
expression that truly scared them.

With her knees tucked into her chest, Ella sat on the
padded window seat each day and gazed out the window for hours. She
acknowledged neither Gavin, his family or guard. In the end it was Thea, Osgood
and Maeve’s daughter, who succeeded in breaking down Ella’s barrier and
bringing her back to life.

On the eighth day since the devastating news was
brought to Doran Castle, Thea snuck up to Ella’s chamber just after dawn.
Although, the little girl had been warned by her parents not to disturb the
grieving woman, she decided to ignore their wishes, and was confident she could
make the laird’s wife smile once again.

Ella was seated on widow seat with her legs crossed
when Thea quietly entered the chamber and crawled up behind her. “Lady Ella,
‘tis me. . . Thea.”

When no response came, Thea made herself comfortable
on the bench, then took out the bone toothcomb and gingerly began to run it
through her Ella’s hair. With her head tilted to the side, she looked for a
reaction as she said, “Do ye know what I do when I am sad?”

Greeted with silence, Thea continued, “When I am sad I
pick flowers. The most beautiful flowers grow in the fields near the burn and
on the edge of the forest . . .”

The little girl stopped suddenly when Ella turned and
looked at her and then around the room.

“Did you bring me all these flowers?”

“Aye,” Thea admitted, since the chamber was covered
with bouquets of fragrant flowers and petals were scattered on the bed.

Thoughtful for a moment, Ella asked, “Have you been
sad?”

When Thea nodded, she asked, “Because of me?”

“Nae because of ye, for ye,” Thea clarified.

Ella’s heart felt as if it was beating for the first
time in over a sennight, and all because of this one little girl whose eyes
were filled with warmth and love.

At having her attention, Thea was quick to add, “I’m
sad because ye are. Please, come pick flowers with me. I promise ye will feel
better, and we dinna have to stay long or speak to anyone.”

At seeing the little girl’s eyes brim with tears and
hearing the heartfelt plea, Ella could not refuse. “Aye, we will go pick
flowers.”