Read Please Do Feed the Cat Online

Authors: Marian Babson

Please Do Feed the Cat (10 page)

‘I will, indeed, remember that.’ He beamed at her. ‘I’m learning a lot more than I expected to on this sabbatical. I’ll bet,’ he added wistfully, ‘you’re a lot better cook than Freddie.’
‘We all have our specialities.’ Ignoring the hint, she moved towards the cash register, hoping he would not follow. It was a vain hope, she realized.
He was still at her heels when she stopped short at the door and retreated so quickly that she backed into him. She couldn’t help it. Gemma had caught up with her and was just walking past the shop.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she apologized. ‘I just remembered I want some —’ She looked around frantically for something at the very back of the shop she could possibly use. ‘Some celery!’ she finished triumphantly, making a dash for it.
‘I understand.’ Again, he was right behind her. ‘I don’t want to meet the lady, either. I’m afraid I might be a bit sharp with her. We’ve had some disturbed nights at Coffers Court since her cousin came to stay.’
‘Oh?’ This time he had caught her interest. ‘Wild parties? Or late night working?’
‘Nothing so mundane.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not sure what’s going on, but it seems to involve doors slamming in the small hours of the morning and muted hysterics – but not muted enough.’
‘Oh, dear. No wonder Gemma is looking rather awful.’
‘She is, indeed, and I have every sympathy. But,’ he
added with the innate canniness of a long-term veteran of academic wars, ‘I don’t want to get involved.’
‘Actually,’ Lorinda agreed, ‘neither do I. I have far too much work to catch up with. I can’t afford to be distracted.’
She might have been able to discourage Professor Borley, but the members of her own close circle were another matter. Unfortunately, it now appeared that Cressie considered herself one of them.
‘Hello?’ The voice on the other end of the line held a strange quiver that Lorinda instinctively felt boded no good. ‘Lorinda? Are you there? Please, please, tell me you’re there.’
‘Cressie?’ Lorinda asked uncertainly. ‘Is that you?’ Why, oh why, hadn’t she left the answerphone on to screen incoming calls? ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Matter?’ Cressie gave what was obviously meant to be a light laugh. It sounded more like a creaking hinge. ‘Why should anything be the matter? I just thought I’d like to come over and have a little chat with you.’
‘You mean … right now?’
‘If you don’t mind.’ It was not like Cressie to sound so unsure of herself. For that matter, it was most unlike her to telephone first instead of just arriving on the doorstep. And she had even said please.
‘Actually …’ Lorinda thought quickly. ‘I was just on my way over to Freddie’s for tea. Why don’t you join me there?’ She wasn’t going to face this alone.
‘Oh … all right.’ Cressie seemed reluctant.
‘In about twenty minutes,’ Lorinda instructed firmly. That would give her time to fill Freddie in on the situation.
‘Yes. Oh, by the way …’ Cressie was elaborately casual. ‘Is Macho there with you?’
‘Macho? No. I haven’t seen him for days. Why?’ But Cressie had rung off.
Lorinda replaced the phone and went for her coat. The cats were instantly at her feet, as though sensing her destination. Or perhaps they had recognized Freddie’s name.
 
 
‘It’s all right, I was going to ring and invite you round anyway,’ Freddie said, as Lorinda finished her explanation. ‘I wasn’t planning on Cressie, but I daresay we’ll manage. Food seems to be the least of her preoccupations.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Lorinda said, ‘but —’
‘No apologies necessary. I quite understand. I wouldn’t want to be landed with her on my own, either. Or is Macho with her?’
‘No. In fact, she asked if he was with me. I don’t think she knows where he is.’
‘Done a runner, has he?’ Freddie smirked. ‘Not before time, I’d say. I’m only surprised it’s taken him this long to get around to it.’
‘If he has, he’s gone about it the wrong way. He should have remained in his house and got rid of her.’
‘Well, that’s Macho for you.’ Freddie shrugged. ‘Always going about things the wrong way round. Haven’t you ever wondered why all these meek little men write the rough-tough-shove-another-grapefruit-in-her-face books? Sheer wish-fulfilment, that’s what it is.’
The doorbell pealed sharply, startling them both.
‘I told her twenty minutes,’ Lorinda said indignantly. ‘It can’t be more than ten.’
‘Why the front door?’ Freddie started towards it. ‘She’s not usually so formal — and the back door is closer.’
The cats watched with narrowed eyes. Lorinda saw Had-I’s back begin to arch and But-Known’s fur bristle, so she was not entirely unprepared for the flurry of yaps and yelps as Freddie opened the door.
‘I’m sorry to drop in on you like this,’ Gemma said, ‘but I was just passing and it occurred to me —’
‘Come in.’ Freddie’s voice was resigned: she led the way into the kitchen. The cats hissed, informing the intruders that they considered this part of their territory.
The pugs yelped again, as much at the sudden clatter at the back door as at the cats. Gemma tried vainly to quiet them.
‘I’ll get it.’ Lorinda opened the back door and Cressie darted inside, setting off a fresh paroxysm of hysteria from the pugs.
‘You’re not going to unleash those, are you?’ Cressie stared at the dogs coldly.
‘No, no,’ Gemma denied hastily, tugging back on the leashes. ‘We’re not staying. We’re out for our walkies. I only popped in for a moment to ask – That is … I was wondering …’
‘Yes?’ Freddie tried to hurry her along.
‘Wondering if you’ve seen Opal today? She was gone when I got up this morning. And she didn’t come back for lunch. And she didn’t leave a note, or anything …’
‘Are you still looking for Macho?’ That reminded Lorinda of Cressie’s earlier concern.
‘Isn’t he here?’ Cressie looked around suspiciously.
‘Well, well,’ Freddie said. ‘So we have two missing persons. Perhaps they’ve run off together.’
‘Oh, I’m sure not —’ Gemma began. ‘Oh. Oh, I see. You’re just having your little joke.’
‘That isn’t funny!’ Cressie snapped.
‘It wasn’t intended to be.’ Freddie widened her eyes in improbable innocence. ‘It was just a helpful suggestion.’
‘How long has it been since you’ve seen Macho?’ Lorinda tried to keep them to the point. So far as she knew, Macho hadn’t been sighted in any of his usual haunts for at least a week. This could be serious.
‘Since yesterday afternoon. We were wor – just having a quiet discussion when he threw a book across the room
and stormed out. And … he hasn’t come back … yet. He has a filthy temper!’
‘Not usually,’ Lorinda murmured. ‘He’s the most patient and kindest of men.’
‘That just shows how little you know him,’ Cressie said. ‘He has no patience at all. It’s almost impossible to get a civil word out of him. And all he cares about is that bloody cat!’
They didn’t need Freddie’s snort to emphasize the fact that Cressie would try the patience of a saint.
‘Where is Roscoe?’ Lorinda was not to be sidetracked. ‘Did he take him with him?’
‘I wish he had! The damned thing won’t stop yowling and it’s driving me crazy!’
‘Then Macho won’t stay away long.’ Lorinda gave a long sigh of relief. ‘He wouldn’t abandon Roscoe.’
‘No? And what about me? I suppose it’s all right if he leaves me high and dry? Just when we’re at a crucial point! Just when I most need —’
She broke off abruptly. It was probably the expression on Gemma’s face that had stopped her.
‘Unless something has happened to him,’ Gemma said darkly.
‘What – What do you mean?’ Cressie went pale.
‘Macho would never abandon his cat, just as I’d never leave my dogs. Unless I couldn’t help it. Unless – An accident can happen to anyone.’ Gemma rubbed her forehead, as though trying to erase a memory. ‘That poor child – I’ll never forget it. And yet, I can’t remember enough. I keep feeling … There might have been something I saw … Without actually registering it consciously. I think, I really do think, I ought to try hypnosis. They say it can help you recover buried memories.’
‘You want to be careful if you’re going to experiment with that,’ Freddie warned. ‘It might regress you right past the accident and into previous lives you’ve lived.’
‘That’s right!’ Cressie’s attention was caught. ‘I’ve heard of that. People go right back into history and discover all
sorts of things about themselves and the historical period. It would be a natural for your cousin Opal, too.’
‘Oh, I don’t think Opal would agree to —’ Gemma began.
‘We could all try it!’ Cressie’s eyes gleamed. ‘We could have a party and hire a hypnotist to regress us all.’
‘Oh, I don’t think …’ Gemma’s protests were growing weaker. ‘Everyone … That’s a bit excessive … I was thinking of a private consultation. You … You’re turning it into a game.’
‘It would be a great party!’ Cressie steamrollered over her. ‘Everyone could come in costume. A Come-As-Who-You-Think-You-Were Party! Then the hypnotist could regress them and they’d find out if they were right.’
‘It would certainly be different,’ Freddie said.
‘It would be wilder than a Botox Party!’ Cressie had the bit in her teeth and was not to be stopped. ‘And think of the publicity! We’d all gets lots of publicity. I might even be able to get that TV show interested.’
She probably would, although how much publicity would accrue to anyone but Cressie was a debatable point. She was wiser than the others in the ways of the soundbite. And Lorinda wouldn’t put it past her to fake her own regression into a more glamorous era. She made a mental bet with herself that Cressie was another Cleopatra wannabe. Or possibly Catherine the Great.
‘I’m not really sure Macho would approve of this,’ Lorinda said tentatively.
‘Oh, yes, he will.’ Cressie’s jaw set stubbornly; she was not to be discouraged. ‘I guarantee it!’
‘I wouldn’t want publicity,’ Gemma demurred, blissfully unaware that little of it was likely to fall her way. ‘I just want to help that poor family to come to some sort of resolution of their grief. Closure, I believe it’s called now, although I don’t believe such tragedies can ever be closed.’
‘What?’ Cressie looked at her blankly, having obviously forgotten the reason for her inspiration. ‘Oh, yes. Yes, you
can try. That would make great copy, too. Especially if you could come up with something solid. A name … or even a registration number.’
In which case, Gemma would definitely get her share of the publicity. Lorinda watched her absorb the idea.
‘Do you ever have the feeling that things are getting out of hand?’ Freddie asked,
sotto voce.
‘Almost constantly – when Cressie is around,’ Lorinda replied.
‘Macho will put a stop to this when he comes back.’ Freddie looked at her in sudden doubt. ‘Won’t he?’
‘I don’t know,’ Lorinda said.
If he comes back
. But he wouldn’t leave poor Roscoe as a hostage to fortune, would he? Or was he trusting to her to look after him?
‘ … and it’s so beautifully photogenic.’ Cressie was concentrating her blandishments on Gemma now. ‘I understand you people use it for your parties a lot. That gorgeous reception room they’ve made out of the old banking hall – so much nicer than any of this …’ She flicked her fingers in a disparaging gesture that dismissed any venue that Freddie, Macho or Lorinda could provide.
‘Well, it’s a thought …’ Gemma was being persuaded.
‘Coffers Court looks so luxurious.’ Cressie was pressing hard. ‘And that’s the impression we want to convey. Opulence, luxury – all so photogenic, telegenic – it will come over beautifully.’
‘What about the Manor House?’ Freddie put in. “That’s even more luxurious and photogenic. What’s wrong with Dorian’s place?’
‘In a word, Dorian.’ Cressie wrinkled her nose, possibly trying to get it back into joint. ‘How much publicity do you think any of you would get if we used his Manor? He’d be swanning around, acting as host, grabbing all the camera angles. No, we need a more neutral venue, like Coffers Court.’
‘I do see your point,’ Gemma said. ‘And I’m sure the other Court residents would agree.’
‘Why shouldn’t they? They’re all going to be invited. It
will be very convenient for them – all they have to do is step out of their flats and they’re at the party.’
‘It
has
been a long time since we’ve had a big party,’ Gemma said wistfully. ‘And we used to have such nice ones.’
‘This will be the best of all,’ Cressie promised.
‘And if … nothing happens … when he hypnotizes me, then it won’t seem so important because all of the rest of you will have your turn and no one will notice so much.’
‘That’s it!’ Cressie beamed on her like a teacher encouraging a backward pupil. ‘You needn’t worry about a thing. Everyone will – ’
Hhhhsssss!
A loud snarling hiss from But-Known interrupted them. As one, they turned to see But-Known advancing in fury upon Conqueror, who was in the process of lifting his leg against a corner of Freddie’s stove.
‘Stop that! Stop that at once!’ Alerted, Freddie stormed forward, hand upraised to clout the offending pug.
‘Oh, no! Oh, dear!’ Gemma tugged at the leash. ‘I’m so sorry! We were going walkies. He must be – It’s not his fault. He didn’t mean – ’
She broke off as Lionheart advanced, sniffed briefly and began to raise his own leg.
‘No! No!’ She jerked the leashes frantically. ‘We’re just leaving! We shouldn’t have stopped! I’m so sorry – ’ She dashed for the back door and found Freddie there ahead of her, opening it.
‘Oh! Thank you.’ The pugs strained at their leashes, pulling her off balance and nearly toppling her. ‘I’ll talk to you later,’ she threw over her shoulder to Cressie, as the dogs raced for the nearest tree.
‘Have I ever told you – ’ Freddie closed the door and looked down at Had-I and But-Known – ‘just how much I appreciate your cats?’
‘They have a lot to recommend them.’
‘I guess they do.’ Even Cressie had to agree. ‘But, I’m not
sure …’ She looked at them uneasily. ‘Just what do you do about a litter box? Macho always took care of that.’
‘Personally,’ Lorinda ventured, ‘I have a cat flap and I just leave them to it. They only use the litter box when the weather is exceptionally bad.’

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