Pleasure Principle (24 page)

Teddy was warned but he didn’t care. He was committed to make a go of it. He had absolutely
how hard it was to go without sex. Zoey had been in the hospital for almost
three
months. He was so happy to have her alive he was determined to be faithful. His heart was in it but his dick just wouldn’t cooperate.

Zoey could see it in his eyes when he visited, which was every single day. They didn’t kiss much because s
he knew what it would do to him. She hated that he was so sexually frustrated and she couldn’t do anything about it.  Even if the opportunity presented itself she couldn’t. Months stuck in bed had given her bed sores
.
S
he was embarrassed by how her legs were beginning to draw up and look strange from atrophy.

Then here comes Teddy larger than life, sexy as hell, looking and smelling like a billion dollars. Not to mention the fact that he was worth damn near a quarter of a billion. Her mind screamed, “What the fuck does he want with you Zoey?”

“So how’s my girl today?” He asked as a big sexy grin graced his face after kissing her lips. He tried to kiss her in the mouth, but Zoey turned away. “Damn girl, what’s wrong is my breath stank?” He laughed as he checked his breath.

“You know how you get when we make out.
Besides I’m not in the mood.”

“What’s wrong? Did you have a bad day?”

It was something about that question that just put everything in perspective for Zoey. She had been holding on to a dream and her dream man so tight that she couldn’t live and survive in her real life world. “Teddy, I’m paralyzed. I’m never going to walk again.”

Teddy took her fragile hand in his. “Baby I know that, but miracles happen every day. The main thing is that you are still alive. Even if you don’t walk, we’ll be okay.”

Zoey shook her head no. “No we w
on’
t. Teddy we can’t have sex. In fact I don’t even know when we’ll ever be able to have
sex again
.
Really,
I don’t know if I even want to have sex.”

“Zoey, come on. Please don’t talk that way. You’ve made so much progress. Look how far you’ve come.”

“Yeah, let’s do an inventory
of
how far I’ve come.  Let’s see I can change the channel on the remote if someone puts it in my hand. I can press the call button to summon my nurse. Oh yeah, I forgot this one. I don’t know how I forgot it since I worked on it for months… I can almost wave my hand to say hi to my millionaire
fiancé.”

“Zoey, please don’t do this. Let’s watch something on TV. Look I brought you some flowers.” Teddy tried to lighten the subject and change her mood.

“Teddy, you are not listening to me. Baby, please listen to me very carefully. Okay? This is important.”

“Okay, I’m listening. Go ahead.” Teddy said as he kissed he
r
hand and held it endearingly to his face.

“I want to fuck my fiancé’! Okay? I want to suck his dick down my throat and feel him pumping inside of me! Okay? But I can’t… I can’t… Hell, I can’t even give him a hand job!”

“Zoey please just stop. This is hard on both of us. At least you’re still alive. We’ll get there. Sex is not the issue right now. The issue is getting you stronger and better. You’re alive that’s all that matters.”

“Teddy why won’t you listen to me? Fuck being alive
!
I wish I had died! At least I won’t feel the way I do. I can’t look at you. I want to be with you so bad, but I can’t even stand for you to look at me.”

“Zoey, please…”

“No Teddy, let me finish. I hate when you come. I hate it because I feel so damn ugly.
”

“Zoey you’re so beautiful, you’re not ugly.”

“Shut up! Shut up and let me talk. I’m ugly, I’m deformed! I’m helpless and I smell like shit! You think I don’t know that you pretend not to smell it? I know I smell like shit. You want to know how I know that you know I smell like shit?”

“Zoey, I don’t care…”

“Shut the Fuck up Teddy!”

“Baby you asked me a question.”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” She screamed as she used what little control she had in her strongest hand to sling the remote control onto the floor.

Teddy had completely had it. Yes he knew she smelled like shit and looked like shit and couldn’t do shit! Of course he knew all of those things but he was happy that she was alive so he chose to ignore them. He
he
ld his head down and burst into tears. He sobbed as Zoey continued to rant.

“The reason I know that you know I smell like shit is because I can’t stop shitting on myself. I can’t feel it when I
have
to go so I can’t control it. I smell it but I can’t do a damn thing about it except to call the nurse to come change my diaper. Yes, in case you didn’t know it your fiancé has to wear an adult diaper.
Isn’t that sexy? So no, you and I won’t be having sex, ever, ever again if I have anything to say about it. Have sex… Huh! Whatever, I can’t even wipe my ass!”

Teddy was sobbing uncontrollably at this point. Yes the truth hurt, but Zoey was wielding it like a damn samurai sword. She cut Teddy to the core of his existence with every word. He was wounded, he was hurt and he didn’t know what to do.

Usually he
’d
find a random woman who was willing to go a few rounds for the title of Queen for the day. He had sworn his fidelity to Zoey, so that wasn’t an option. He wanted release so bad he was ready to climb on the bed and shove his big dick in Zoey’s big mouth just to shut her up!

“Zoey I love you! If I could trade places with you right now I would.” He retorted.

“Why? So you could be the one laying up here s
m
ell
ing
like a steaming pile of shit? That’s not what I want.”

“Then what do you want me to do? I’ll do anything you say
! Baby, just tell me what to do.”

“Thank God! Finally, you’re ready to listen. Promise me you’ll do anything I ask you to do?” She demanded.

“I promise. Just please stop talking about yourself like that. Promise me that
, Zoey
.” Teddy voice answered as he squared his shoulders like a man and choked down his tears. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

“I love you Teddy.”

“I love you too Zoey.”

“Good, so what I want you to do is to get up, walk out of here and never come back.”

“What? But I…”

“No, buts! Get up and leave and never come back. I don’t want to be engaged anymore and I don’t want to see you here ever again. Do you understand me?”

“But Zoey you just said you love me… Why are you breaking up with me?”

“You don’t get it. A part of who I am died that night and I refuse to let that same bullet kill you too. I love you! I swear to God I do
…
B
ut I can’t live in your world anymore
. Baby I tried but it hurts like hell and it only makes me more depressed than I already am.
A
nd
Teddy I know you
try so hard, but baby you simply can
’t live in mine.
You need sex. You put on a brave face but I know that you’re dying inside. I can’t do that to you. You won’t let me go, so I’m letting you go. It’s over, we’re over and you can’t come back here ever again. So, go!”

“Zoey, you’re just upset. I’m going to leave for now, but I’ll be back.”

“Please don’t come back. I’m having your name taken off my visitors list. So, don’t waste your time.”

“So, what? You never want to see me again?” Teddy asked confused.

“I know what you look like! Besides I have a TV. Football season will be starting soon. I’ll see you then.
So, go ahead leave. You’ve hung around dying with me long enough.”

“Zoey, I can’t. Why don’t you get that? If you don’t want to marry me anymore than okay, but can we at least remain friends?
Why are you doing this to me?
”

Zoey looked at Teddy. She had completely destroyed him. No, of course she didn’t want to break up with him and treat him that way, but she had too. He had wasted too much time trying to be noble and stand by her side. She knew he loved her. His love used to make her happy now it just made her depressed and sad. She knew she’d never stop loving him. So, being friends one day when she was stronger just felt like the right thing to do. Teddy was her friend, in fact he was a very good friend. He covered all of her expenses and paid all of her bills. He even rented a home for her parents to stay in LA, so that they could be close to her. Zoey couldn’t cut off the hand that fed her, even if she wanted and she didn’t want to at all.

“Sure, I’ll call you and maybe when I’
m stronger we can talk on the phone.”

Teddy understood that the breakup was as much for Zoey as it was for him. Yes she wanted him to continuing living, but she wanted a chance to live as well. She couldn’t do that trying to hold on to something past time to let go. So, Zoey had to let Teddy go so that she could grow. He never looked at it from her perspective. He was just glad she was alive. He suddenly realized that being alive isn’t the same as living.

“Okay. I want you to call me the second you feel like seeing me. Okay?” he said as he leaned in for a kiss.

Zoey eyes met his she knew
this
would be there last kiss so she kissed him passionately and yes she even slipped him some tongue. “Now go, find a woman and get laid.”

Teddy chuckled. “Wow, that’s easier said than done. I hooked the Fantastic Six up with my boys. Half of them are engaged and the other half are about to get engaged.
”

“You could use a vacation. How about Paris?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying go to France and get back with Prissy.”

“Miss Priss is married. I’m not going to bother her. She’s finally happy. No, that’s out of the question. No, No, No!”

“No she’s not. She called off her engagement after the shooting. She’s single.”

“How do you know all of this?” Teddy asked confused.

“Prissy told me. She called me when I was in the
ICU
to congratulate me on getting engaged and to wish me a quick recovery. She’s been calling me a few times a week ever since.”

“Why is this the first time that I’m hearing about this?”

Zoey giggled. “Because we weren’t talking about you! It was girl talk. Get her number off my phone and give her a call. Better yet her address is on a card right here in my draw. You should surprise her.”

Teddy stared at Zoey for a long time. “Zoey is this what you really want? Y
ou want to break up with me so that me and Miss Priss can get together? Priss doesn’t want me.”

“Yes she does. I can tell. Don’t call just fly to Paris and surprise her.”

Teddy smiled as he saw the light return to Zoey’s spirit. “Maybe I will.” He nodded.

“You’d better. The two of you belong together. You were made for each other.”

“So you and Miss Priss, Parisa Crown
,
are friends now?” Teddy asked shaking his head in disbelief.

“Yes! How many times do I have to say it
?
So go, put a smile on her face. She’d love to see you.”

“Okay, you sold me. I’m going.” Teddy said as he kissed her gently on her lips one last time. “I’ll call you when I get back. Teddy tested the waters.

“Don’t call me, send me some wedding pictures.” She giggled.

“You’re serious about this aren’t you
?
This isn’t a test is it?” Teddy asked still very puzzled.

“Yes! It’s a test! You’re testing my damn patience, now go! And don’
t forget to tell Prissy that I said hello!

Teddy left. He got all the way to the elevators and then ran back to kiss Zoey one more time. She had tears in her eyes, but he pretended not to notice. She smelled
like shit
and pretended not to notice that either.

“I love you Zoey Chandler! Thank you!”

Zoey smiled. “I love you too Theodore Davine! Now, go be happy, so that I can
finally
be happy!”
 

Parisa Crown aka Prissy aka Miss Priss

International Business Consultant, Paris France