Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy With Multiple Partners (43 page)

NOTES

1. Robert Masters,
Transformation through Intimacy
(Surrey, BC: Tehmenos Press, 2007).

2. Edmund Bourne,
Global Shift
(Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2009), 2.

CHAPTER 1

1. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, “The Primate Origins of Human Sexuality,” in
The Evolution of Sex
, ed. Robert Bellig and George Stevens (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1988).

2. Ramana Maharshi,
Forty Verses on Reality
, trans. S. S. Cohen (Tiruvannamalai, India: Sri Ramanasharam, 2008).

3. Theresa Crenshaw,
The Alchemy of Love and Lust
(New York, G. P. Putnam, 1996), 3.

4. Helen Fisher, Lecture at the American Psychiatric Association annual meeting, 2004.

5. Hasse Walum, paper presented at the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, September 1–5, 2008.

6. Marnia Robinson, “The Mysteries of Pair Bonding (Part II),” Psychologytoday.com, November 10, 2009, https://www.psychologytoday.com, November 30, 2009.

CHAPTER 2

1. Nancy Casey, “Polyamory as a Spiritual Partnership,”
Loving More
, no. 39, Spring 2010, 23–25.

2 4 5

2 4 6

N O T E S

2. Kamala Devi, e-mail communication, November 17, 2009.

3. Sonia Song,
Donkey Baby: From Beijing to Berkeley and Beyond
(Bloomington, IN: Author House, 2008), 259.

4. C. T. Butler, e-mail communication, December 7, 2009.

5. Amy Marsh, http://carnalnation.com/content/37497/999/road-tantra?page=0,0, November 18, 2009.

6. Amy Marsh, personal communication, November 17, 2009. See also http://www

.tantra-intimacy-aspergers.com.

7. Esther Perel,
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
(New York: Harper, 2007), 198–99.

8. Perel,
Mating in Captivity
, 199.

9. Robert Masters,
Transformation through Intimacy
(Surrey, BC: Tehmenos Press, 2007), 2.

10. Byron Katie, online newsletter.

11. Byron Katie,
Loving What Is
(Three Rivers, CA: Three Rivers Press, 2003).

12. David J. Ley,
Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them
(Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 2009).

13. David J. Ley, personal communication, November 2009.

14. Ley,
Insatiable Wives
, 113.

15. Dane Colby,
101 Choices on My Path to Well-Being: Choosing Happiness over
Normalcy as a Highly Sensitive Person with Aspergers Syndrome
, http://www.lulu.com/

content/5582544, 2008.

16. Peter M. Thomas, “Dissociation and Internal Models of Protection: Psychotherapy with Child Abuse Survivors,”
Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training
42, no.

1 (2005): 20–23.

17. Janet Kira Lessin,
Polyamory, Many Loves, the Poly-Tantric Lovestyle: A Personal
Account
(Bloomington, IN: Author House, 2006).

18. Jasmine Walston, “Polyamory: An Exploratory Study of Responsible MultiPartnering,” paper presented at the Building Bridges Conference of the Institute for Twenty-First Century Relationships, Seattle, June 2001.

19. Adam Weber, “Survey Results: Who Are We?,”
Loving More
, no. 30, Summer 2002, 4–6.

20. Meg Barker, “This Is My Partner, and This Is My Partner’s Partner: Constructing Polyamorous Identity in a Monogamous World,”
Journal of Constructivist Psychology
18

(2005): 75–88.

CHAPTER 3

1. Beth Quinn Barnard, “The Utopia of Sharing in Oneida, NY,”
New York Times
, August 3, 2007.

2. “Jacob Cochran,”
Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia
, http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index

.php?title=Jacob_Cochran&oldid=302830918, July 18, 2009.

N O T E S

2 4 7

3. J. Beecher and R. Bienvenu,
The Utopian Vision of Charles Fourier
(Boston: Beacon Press, 1971).

4. Emma Goldman,
Living My Life
(New York: Knopf, 1931).

5. Barbara Foster, Michael Foster, and Letha Hadady,
Three in Love
(New York: HarperCollins, 1997).

6. Oberon Zell (personal communication).

7. Oberon Zell (personal communication).

8. Starhawk,
The Fifth Sacred Thing
(New York: Bantam, 1993).

9. Anna Francoeur and Robert Francoeur,
Hot and Cool Sex
(New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1974).

10. Raymond Lawrence,
The Poisoning of Eros
(New York: Augustine Moore Press, 1990).

11. Cyra McFadden,
The Serial
(New York: Knopf, 1977).

12. James Ramey,
Intimate Friendships
(Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1976).

13. Ryam Nearing, “I Know You’re Experienced, but Are You Responsible?,”
Loving
More
, Summer 1995, 29.

14. Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu,
Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak
Out
(Boston: Alyson Publications, 1991).

15. Brad Blanton,
Radical Honesty
(Stanley, VA: Sparrowhawk Publications, 2005).

CHAPTER 4

1. FM Esfandiary (personal communication).

2. FM Esfandiary, “Intimacy in a Fluid World,”
In Context
, Summer 1985, 39, http://

www.context.org/ICLIB/IC10/Esfandry.htm (accessed July 20, 2006).

3. Esfandiary, “Intimacy in a Fluid World,” 41.

4. Jim Ramey,
Intimate Friendships
(Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1976).

5. Riane Eisler,
Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body
(San Francisco: Harper, 1995).

6. Deborah Anapol,
The Seven Natural Laws of Love
(Santa Rosa, CA: Elite Books, 2005).

7. Carter Heyward,
Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God
(San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1995).

8. Rustum Roy and Della Roy,
Honest Sex
(New York: New American Library, 1968).

9. George O’Neill and Nena O’Neill,
Open Marriage
(New York: M. Evans, 1972).

10. Arthur Waskow, “Down to Earth Judaism: Sexuality,” http://www.tikkun.org/media-gallery/download.php?mid=20090505112546716 (accessed October 19, 2009).

11. Gershon Winkler,
Sacred Secrets
(Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson, 1998).

12. Jayaram V, “Polyamory in Hinduism in Theory and Practice,” http://www.hinduweb-site.com/hinduism/h_polygamy.asp (accessed October 22, 2009).

13. Osho,
Love, Freedom, and Aloneness
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2001).

14. Author’s unpublished research.

2 4 8

N O T E S

15. Huma Ahmad, “Top Ten Misconceptions about Islam,” http://www.jannah.org/articles/misc.html (accessed October 22, 2009).

16. Richard Sutphen,
Radical Spirituality
(Malibu, CA: Valley of the Sun, 1995).

17. Jorge Ferrer, “Monogamy, Polyamory, and Beyond,”
Tikkun
, June 2009, http://www.

tikkun.org/article.php?story=Ferrer-monogamy-polyamory-and-beyond (accessed October 20, 2009).

18. Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell,
A Thousand Names for Joy
(New York: Three Rivers Press, 2007).

19. Byron Katie, “The Work on Relationships” (public lecture, Marin County, CA, 2002).

20. Carl Rogers,
Marriage and Its Alternatives
(New York: Delacourte Press, 1972).

21. Bertrand Russell,
Marriage and Morals
(New York: Bantam Books, 1959).

22. Associated Press, “The Governors Secret,” http://www.aolcdn.com/ke/media_gallery/v1/ke_media_gallery_wrapper.swf, (accessed October 15, 2009).

23. Werner Erhard, Michael C. Jensen, and Steve Zaffron, “Integrity: A Positive Model That Incorporates the Normative Phenomena of Morality, Ethics, and Legality,” http://ssrn.

com/abstract=920625 (accessed October 23, 2009).

CHAPTER 5

1. Geri Weitzman, “Therapy with Clients Who Are Bisexual and Polyamorous,”
Journal
of Bisexuality
6, no. 1/2 (2006): 137–64.

CHAPTER 6

1. Thomas Moore,
Care of the Soul
(New York: HarperCollins, 1992).

2. Daniel Goleman,
Emotional Intelligence
(New York: Bantam Books, 1995).

3. Gordon Clanton and Lynn G. Smith, eds.,
Jealousy
(Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1977).

4. David Buss,
The Dangerous Passion:
Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Sex and Love
(New York: Free Press, 2000).

5. Buss,
The Dangerous Passion
.

6. Elizabeth Gould David,
The First Sex
(Baltimore: Penguin, 1972).

7. E. S. Craghill Handy and Mary Kawena Pukui,
The Polynesian Family System in
Ka’u, Hawaii
(Honolulu: Mutual Publishing, 1999).

8. James Slack, “Judges Sink Harriet Harman’s ‘Obnoxious’ Plan to Strip Men of Infidelity Murder Defence,”
Daily Mail
, October 28, 2009, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

news/article-1223367/Judges-sink-Harriet-Harmans-obnoxious-plan-strip-men-infidelity-murder-defence.html#ixzz0VkDwiKPH (accessed November 3, 2009).

9. Afua Hirsch, “Murder Law Reform,”
Guardian
, January 19, 2009, http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/jan/19/murder-law-reform-provocation (accessed November 3, 2009).

10. Meredith Small, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”
Discover
, June 1992, 46–51.

N O T E S

2 4 9

CHAPTER 7

1. Samuel Widmer, e-mail, December 1, 2009.

2. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli,
Border Sexualities, Border Families in Schools
(New York: Rowman & Littlefield, 2010).

3. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, “Polyparents, Having Children, Raising Children, Schooling Children,” in
Understanding NonMonogamies
, ed. Meg Barker and Darren Langridge (London: Routledge, 2010).

4. Pallotta-Chiarolli, “Polyparents, Having Children, Raising Children, Schooling Children.”

5. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli,
Love You Two
(North Sydney: Random House, 2008).

6. Larry Constantine and Joan Constantine,
Group Marriage: A Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage
(New York: Macmillan, 1973).

7. Elisabeth Sheff, personal communication, November 5, 2009. Dr. Sheff can be contacted via e-mail at [email protected].

8. Becca Tzigany and J. G. Bertrand,
The Pillow Book of Venus and Her Lover: Reinventing the Myth
, 2009, http://www.venusandherlover.com.

9. Valerie White, “Checklist for Poly Parents,” http://www.sfldef.org/Checklist_for_

Poly_Parents.htm (accessed October 23, 2009).

10. Kenn Thomas and Len Bracken, “The Finder’s Keeper,” Steamshovel Press, #16, 1998, http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/msg00344.html (accessed November 30, 2009).

11. Osho,
Love, Freedom, and Aloneness
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2001), 137–38.

CHAPTER 8

1. Lisa M. Diamond,
Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire
(Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2009).

2. Daniel Cardosa, Carla Correia, and Danielle Capella, “Polyamory as a Possibility of Feminine Empowerment” (paper presented at the Ninth Congress of the European Socio-logical Association, Lisbon, Portugal, September 2009).

3. Cardosa et al., “Polyamory as a Possibility of Feminine Empowerment,” 13–14.

4. Geri Weitzman, “Therapy with Clients Who Are Bisexual and Polyamorous,”
Journal
of Bisexuality
6, no. 1–2 (2006): 137–64.

CHAPTER 9

1. Esther Perel,
Mating in Captivity
(New York: Harper, 2007), 55.

2. “Sexual Revolution Silently Going On in China,”
Xinhua Online
, http://news.xinhua-net.com/english/2005-06/03/content_3041598.htm (accessed November 22, 2009).

2 5 0

N O T E S

3. Sonia Song,
Donkey Baby
(Bloomington, IN: Authorhouse, 2008), 259.

4. Dossie Easton (personal communication and unpublished paper, October 2009).

5. Leila Dregger, “Project Meiga: How It All Began,” in
Liberating Love: Readings
from the German Meiga Communities
, trans. Eva Langrock, ed. Jock Millenson (Forres, Scotland: Juggler Press, 2007), 11.

6. Alan MacRoberts, “Seven Poly Books Upcoming,”
Polyamory in the News
, http://

polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/12/xx-new-poly-books-in-works.html (accessed December 6, 2009).

7. Samuel Widmer, http://www.samuel-widmer.ch (accessed September 18, 2009).

8. Komaja Community, “Manifesto for Polyamory,” http://www.komaja.org/en/poly-amory_manifest.php, 2006 (accessed November 18, 2009).

9. Serena Anderlini D’Onofrio, “Midsummer Dreams in New Central Europe: Meeting the Komaja Community,”
Loving More
, Spring 2007, 12–14.

10. Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy,
The Ethical Slut: Polyamory, Open Relationships
and Other Adventures
(2nd ed.) (Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press, 2009).

11. Dossie Easton (unpublished paper, October 2009).

12. Meg Barker and Darren Langridge, eds.,
Understanding NonMonogamies
(London: Routledge, 2009).

13. Meg Barker (personal communication, 2009).

14. Andie Nordgren, http://andie.se, November 2009.

15. Deborah Anapol,
Polyamory: The New Love without Limits
(San Rafael, CA: Intinet, 1997), 5.

16. Maria Palloti-Chiarolli, “Polyparents, Having Children, Raising Children, Schooling Children,” in
Understanding NonMonogamies
, ed. Meg Barker and Darren Langridge (London: Routledge, 2009), 182–87.

17. Petula Sik Ying Ho, “The Charmed Circle Game: Reflections on Sexual Hierarchy through Multiple Sexual Relationships,”
Sexualities
9 (2006): 547.

CHAPTER 10

1. Elizabeth Gilbert,
Eat, Pray, Love
(New York: Penguin, 2006), 149.

2. Robert Graves and Raphael Patai,
Hebrew Myths
:
The Book of Genesis
(New York: Doubleday, 1964).

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