Porn Star (10 page)

At the end of the hall in a room marked “212”
Cassidy sat in a chair by an open door watching television. She had
no idea she was aboard an alien ship from Mars. Dennis approached
and walked past the robot who was escorting him. “Cassidy,” Dennis
said getting her attention. She looked at him as he entered her
room with a smile on her face. The robot got a door slammed in its
face.

“Where have you been?” she asked.

“Long story, we need to get the fuck out of
here as soon as possible.”

“Where are we? In a hospital?” she asked.

“No, we’re onboard a spaceship flying to
Mars.” Dennis replied expecting Cassidy to question the comment.
She didn’t.

“What are we going to do? I don’t want to go
to Mars, they don’t have any air up there.”

“Not sure, I have to find a way to land this
thing so we can get off,” Dennis replied.

“Can we run it into an iceberg like the
Titanic?”

“We’re thirty thousand feet in the air, there
are no icebergs that tall,” Dennis snapped.

“No, but there are other things that are.
Like mountains, and airplanes.”

“Yeah, but I’m not in the captain’s chair,
heck, I don’t even know where the captain’s chair is on this thing.
I don’t know the front from the back. There isn’t a window to be
found.”

“Let’s ask someone,” Cassidy stated. The
simplicity of it stunned Dennis.

“These are some friendly fuckers I’ll say
that, but I don’t feel comfortable asking anyone questions. Plus
that robot told me this thing is run by remote control.”

“Then find the signal and modify it so you
can land and get us out of here.”

“If I could find the signal, how the fuck
would I know how to change it to do anything? I’m not an electrical
engineer or a fucking alien.”

“Fine, be that way, we can get used to living
here, and it’s not so bad.”

“Did you forget? You’re a porn star. Who’s
going to ogle over your naked body up here? They don’t give a fuck
about tits or pussy.”

“How do you know? Did you ask them? I bet
they have tits and pussies too.”

“I’m sure they do, and looking at yours would
be for them like looking at a baboons ass in the zoo.”

“Lots of men like animal sex, don’t discount
my idea.”

Just then the floor shook and both Dennis and
Cassidy were knocked off balance into a wall. “What was that?”
Dennis asked crawling back to his feet. Then the walls shook again
and the whole floor tipped a few degrees to one side and stayed
that way.

“I’m scared,” Cassidy said holding herself
still against the wall.

“Something happened on this ship, a motor
blew out, a blown gasket, something.”

Then a repeating siren cut through the air
and lights began to flash. In a second a voice came over an
intercom and said, “Warning, the ship is under fire and has been
hit, everyone brace for impact, now!”

“What do we do?” Cassidy asked in a
panic.

“Get on the ground!” Dennis yelled as he hit
the floor.

Again the warning repeated and the sirens and
lights continued to screech and flash. Quickly the halls filled
with panicked aliens running from place to place in a fury.

“Where are they going?” Cassidy asked. “Maybe
we should follow them.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Dennis said and both
of them got back up and followed the first alien that ran by. It
didn’t take long for them to reach some sort of escape portal and
jump in after the alien.

“Where is this going?” Dennis asked the
alien.

Without saying a word, the alien pressed a
sequence of buttons, the door slammed shut and the pod ejected into
the air away from the mother ship. Dennis and Cassidy watched as
the huge silver football grew smaller and smaller in the window and
they fell quickly towards the ground below.

“Hit the brakes!” Cassidy yelled watching the
ground come closer and closer through the opposite window. And
without a sound, the pod slowed on its own and began to hover over
the ground. Then touch down gently. “That wasn’t too bad,” Cassidy
added, then saw the mother ship pop open like a kernel of popcorn
and fall to the ground a few hundred yards away. It was like the
Hindenburg without the flames.

“Holy fuck, we could have been on that!”
Dennis said with his jaw on the floor.

The alien didn’t seem to be affected at all.
Almost robot like.

“Are you a robot?” Dennis asked.

The alien looked at him and said, “No, why do
you ask?”

“Your entire world just exploded and most of
your people just died, did you see that?”

The alien punched a few buttons on the side
of the pod and shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t like most of those
assholes anyway.”

“You don’t have any family onboard?” Dennis
asked.

“I was grown in a pot and raised by two very
uninteresting scientists. I could care less. This is the first time
I’ve had a chance to see the real world.”

“Do you know where we are?” Cassidy
asked.

“Somewhere over Kansas, close to Topeka,” the
alien replied.

“I don’t care where the fuck we are,” Dennis
said, “Now I have a chance to get the hell out of here and get back
on my own planet. Open the door E.T.”

The alien pressed a button and the door
opened. “There you go,” the alien said motioning for the two to
exit.

Cassidy and Dennis ran out of the escape pod
and away from the mother ship as fast as they could. Then the
mother ship exploded again and filled the sky with debris and
smoke.

At the crash scene, the NTSB set up a tent
for interviews of the survivors. Cassidy and Dennis were both led
to the tent and interviewed separately. First to be interviewed was
Dennis, who sat uncomfortably in a folding chair across from a man
in a suit working on a laptop. “Name?” the agent asked.

“Dennis Bell, like in Taco Bell,” Dennis
replied.

“Where are you from Dennis?”

“Mammoth tooth South Dakota.”

“What was the nature of your trip?”

“I was heading to a porn shoot,” Dennis
replied expecting a stunned reaction. He got none.

“What can you tell me about the crash?” the
agent asked without looking away from his screen.”

“I felt a bump and then another and then all
hell broke loose,” Dennis replied. “A siren and a warning blared in
the hall and we followed some alien to an escape pod and here we
are.”

“Who are we?”

“My business partner, Cassidy Rayne.”

“You were both heading to shoot porn?”

“Yes, she is the model.”

The agent typed Dennis’s responses and said
little else as he did his work. He seemed very uninterested in what
he was doing. Like he would rather have been out at the crash scene
instead of doing interviews. “How did you end up on this ship?” the
agent asked sipping some coffee.

“We were abducted in midflight,” Dennis
replied.

“Any idea where your plane is now?”

“No, last I seen it was still parked inside
that mother ship.”

“That’s not a mother ship, the mother ship is
fucking huge, that’s some sort of recon surveillance ship. Do you
have any idea what caused the alien ship to go down?”

“No, I didn’t see or hear anything other than
the bang and shift of the floor. Do you know what happened?”

“Yes, but I can’t tell you, that would taint
the interview.”

“All I know is that I was abducted in
midflight, taken prisoner and managed to escape once this thing
fell out of the sky. There isn’t much to tell.”

“That’s fine, you never know about these
things, strange shit happens all the time.”

“Like being abducted by aliens isn’t strange
enough?”

“Touché’” the agent replied and smiled back
at Dennis. We are through.”

“What about Cassidy? Where is she?”

“She’s being taken downtown and booked.”

“For what?” Dennis asked almost pissed.

“I didn’t hear, all I know is that she’s in
big trouble, going to be seen by the governor herself.”

“The governor? Is she a lawyer too?”

“No, I don’t have any more details on your
friend, all I know is that she was requested to be taken into town
and seen by the governor.”

“Who is the governor?”

“Madam Acid Rayne,” the agent replied.

Cassidy sat at a thirty five foot long table,
surrounded by chairs in what looked like a conference room at the
governor’s mansion. The room was amazingly decorated in walnut wood
furniture and dark Earth tones. All along the walls were hand
painted portraits of past governors and famous elected officials.
No one was in the room but her, the guards stood outside the door
in case she decided to leave. She was told to sit and wait until
she was contacted by someone from the governor’s staff. Then a door
opened and a group of three entered the room and sat across from
her at the table. To her shock, one of the three was her old
roommate and former friend, Acid Rayne.

“How are you Cassidy?” Acid asked. Acid was
still a very heavy woman, still looked bitter and was wearing a
suit skirt outfit that looked like something an office manager
would wear.

“‘I’ fine, what’s going on?” Cassidy asked
scanning all three sitting across from her.

“That’s good to hear, it’s been a long time.
Are you still doing porn?”

“I’m not sure I want to answer that, do I
need a lawyer?”

Acid looked to the man to her left and waited
for a response, he gave a gesture indicating that it was optional.
”I guess that’s up to you.”

“Am I being charged with something? I mean, I
was abducted, I’m not a criminal.”

“That all depends,” Acid said with a muted
smile. “Things have changed a lot over the years. Since I’ve been
governor...”

“You’re a governor?” Cassidy asked. “Last I
knew you were working at a sandwich shop.”

“Like I said, things have changed a lot. Now
let me finish. Since I’ve been governor, I have seen to it that
legislation has been passed outlawing certain kinds of
pornography.”

“Like what, child pornography? That has
always been illegal.”

“No, I mean no one under one hundred eighty
pounds is allowed to make porn.”

Stunned and shocked, Cassidy cocked her head
like a chicken and tried to wrap her mind around what she had just
heard. “That’s discrimination.”

“So, I was discriminated against for years,
how does it feel?” Acid replied with a smile a mile wide.

“You can’t pass laws like that, it goes
against the constitution.”

“You suck dick for a living, or at least you
used to. You’re not a lawyer so shut the fuck up.”

“Even if you did pass this stupid fucking
law, you can’t do anything to me, I don’t live in this state.”

“I don’t give a shit where you’re from honey,
you have a massive catalogue of porn and you weigh about one ten at
the most. That is law breaking.”

“Just because you’re a fat pig doesn’t mean
that I’m doing anything wrong!”

“Sure it does, I can show you the statute,”
Acid said laughing out loud.

“Do you pass laws for everything you hate?”
Cassidy asked. “Did you pass a law about bathing? I know you went
weeks without a shower. Probably one of the reasons no one ever
hired your for a porn shoot.”

“Oh honey, I get hired all the time now.”

“What? You’re the governor and you do
porn?”

“Yes I do, working on my fifth DVD as we
speak. I have a scene to shoot on this table this afternoon. Got
six huge black guys coming over to cover me in splooge. Going to be
a real fun time.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“No, the DVD is called “In the ass,
Governor’s mansion six.”

“People take you seriously as governor doing
that?” Cassidy asked.

“You’re lucky I’m wearing a skirt right now,
usually I do my business in a thong and sports bra.”

Cassidy sat and shook her head in disgust and
bewilderment. She was tired of being locked up and now it looked
like she was going to go back to jail once again. “What are you
going to do with me?” she asked throwing up her hands.

“You get a jury trial, more than you deserve,
but we do follow due process around here. Kansas isn’t as fucked up
as you might think, not like South Dakota.”

(Six months later)

Cassidy sat in the witness chair at her trial
awaiting questioning. She was charged with creating porn under the
weight limit. If convicted, she would could be sentenced up to five
years in prison and pay a ten thousand dollar fine or death by
firing squad. The lawyer for the state approached Cassidy and set
his notepad on the railing next to her chair. “Miss Miller, is it
true you suck cock for a living?” the lawyer asked.

Cassidy sat and thought for a moment. She
knew that lawyers could be tricky so she had to craft her answer
perfectly. “I plead the fifth,” she replied.

“I have fifteen men sitting in the hallway
ready to testify that you sucked their cocks at porn shoots, Porn
shoots where you received compensation. Are you willing to testify
that you indeed did suck their cocks for money?”

“I plead the fifth, “Cassidy replied.

“Maybe there is some confusion in the
question itself. Let me show you what I am talking about.” The
lawyer, a man, unzipped his pants and produced his limp penis which
he let dangle out of his zipper. “Miss Miller, please take a look
at exhibit A. This is infact a penis, my penis to be more specific.
Have you ever seen one of these or one like it in the past?”