Authors: H.M. McQueen
And cry she did.
She cried for the losses, the insanity of everyday actions that affected so many. She mourned the loss of her job and her friends, even the loss of her ignorance. This was definitely an instance where obliviousness had been so much better than truth.
She wasn’t sure how long they remained on the bathroom floor when the sobs began to finally subside. She buried her face in Fallon’s chest, thankful for the man's strength even in the midst of his anger.
Chapter 28
Fallon woke with a start. Tonia was nudged against him, her slender arm laid across his waist, her head on his chest. From her even breaths and lack of thought, he knew she was fast asleep.
Good. It had taken her a long time to calm down after he’d brought her to the bed a few hours earlier.
Exhausted as he was, the force of her emotions had woken him. He’d remained in bed for a few minutes, trying to ignore her, too angry at her deceit to go to her.
But as she mourned for her husband, her career, and each painful thought tearing through her with such astonishing pain, it physically hurt to know of her aching and not go to Tonia.
When she’d recalled the conversation with Goodall, the immensity of her guilt and despair drove him to get up and finally go to her. No one deserved to feel so devastated. She believed to be doing the right thing at the time. She’d thought herself to be defending humans, and maybe at times she’d acted correctly. He shuddered to think of how many times she had not.
Through it all, he didn’t hear or sense any remorse over breaking her word to him. The only time she’d considered his feelings was when he’d gone to her. Even then, it was surprising that he’d go to her in the midst of his anger. No matter how angry he was, he cared for Tonia and wasn’t about to let her lay on the bathroom floor sobbing.
When had he fallen so hard for his mate?
Truth be told, the first moment he’d laid eyes on her; the night he thought her to be a party girl after a good time. They’d slammed into each other with unparalleled intensity. It was then he knew there was something special between them, a strong connection.
Recalling her constant thoughts of Alex, her dead husband, a pang of jealousy tore through him. Would she ever love him like she’d loved Alex Mohr?
Fallon inhaled the scent of fresh flowers from her hair. He loved Tonia. That did not mean he’d forgiven her actions. He couldn’t let it go. Perhaps he'd been too harsh with her?
No.
The best way to start their relationship was to set ground rules. He’d remain steadfast in the decision, they would discuss the ramifications of her actions before moving forward as a couple.
He tried to push her off of him, but stopped when she moaned and snuggled closer.
Damn
.
Yes, that was it. He’d keep his heart locked safely from her until they cleared the matter up. Now if he could only slip out of the bed and away from her tantalizing scent, the soft curves pressed against him, her warm breath on his chest…
Damn again.
He took a deep breath and tried to turn away, her hand slipped down further from his waist and he moaned. His raging hard-on did not help the situation at all. When her hand touched the tip of his hardness, he jerked off the bed. Ignoring her startled gasp, he strode to the bathroom firmly shutting the door behind him.
Once inside, he pushed off his boxers and got under the not quite warm enough showers allowing the heated water to wash away his physical reaction to her. They’d have to make love soon. Mates could not remain without it for long; but not now, he couldn’t, he was too angry. Or was it that his feelings were hurt? It hurt him that she did not think of him. He was not a priority for her.
No. That was not it at all.
He turned his face into the stream of water, the pulsing jet hitting him hard, waking him up. A long night lay ahead. He’d meet with the Protector’s in the library in an hour or so and then they’d go out on patrol. By now Carlo had taken control as Master, and he was sure things would be active, as he would try to make the first bold moves to prove himself.
Thanks to thoughts of work, Fallon was momentarily relieved as his erection began to fade. The opening of the shower door instantly changed that, his body reacting, knowing its mate neared. Without thought, he turned and pushed Tonia against the cool tiles, pulling her legs up around his waist. His mouth crushed hers at the same time he slammed into her, pushing himself fully into her heat.
This was what they both needed. She raked her nails down his back urging him to thrust into her, faster and faster. She threw her head back calling his name, taking the intensity of the moment to culmination.
Lost in the moment, his vision hazed, the steam of the shower enclosure encircled them, giving the illusion of being in another world.
“Bite me.” Her command although quiet, was strong.
Not able to deny her at this point, his incisors snapped down and he bit into the tender flesh at her throat while pumping in and out of her in a hectic rhythm from being denied too long.
Her screams as she crested were accompanied by the muscles of her sex squeezing his length, milking him. He released his hold on her throat lapping at the bite to seal it, barely able to do so as he climaxed so hard, his knees almost buckled. He groaned loudly, as his body convulsed within hers. They remained still, locked together, as he gathered his wits.
The softness of her inner thighs as they slid down him made him close his eyes as he tried to ignore the surge to take her again. He leaned into her, pressing against her. Tonia wrapped her arms around him and laid her forehead on his chest.
He needed her again.
“Let’s move to the bed,” he told her, picking her up and carrying her out of the shower. He hit the off water button with his elbow.
When they reached their oversized bed, she reached for him. Her fingers through his hair, she pulled his mouth to hers. The intensity of the kiss shook him. He pulled back as they fell into the softness of the comforter, their eyes locking.
Tonia reached for him again, “I need you so much Fallon. I—I…”
“I don’t want to talk,” Fallon interrupted her. He didn’t want to hear her say words she didn’t feel. She didn’t love him. He’d heard enough of her thoughts earlier that day to know.
She rolled him onto his back and climbed on top of him. Straddling him, she guided his cock into her and slid down slowly allowing him to enter her inch by inch.
Fallon closed his eyes, when her fingers began circling his nipples. The sensations taking over, he forgot everything, couldn’t think about anything, but the feeling of her curves under his hands, the friction of their bodies joined as his mate rode him.
When she finally collapsed on top of him, he kissed her face and held her against him for a few minutes.
“I have to get dressed. It’s twilight; my night begins.” He slid off the bed and went to his closet to find jeans and a shirt.
Tonia watched him intently when he came back out. She remained silent while he finished dressing. Fallon didn’t delve in her thoughts. Didn’t want to ruin the evening for himself. Instead he finished putting on his boots and looked over at her.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” He left before changing his mind and dragging words out of her that she didn’t offer voluntarily.
"I need to go speak to Captain Goodall, will you take me?"
Fallon hesitated at the door and nodded. "Very well, in the morning."
"Thank you Fallon. Be safe."
The sun coming through the car window warmed Tonia and she pulled her jacket off and placed it on her lap, her hands folded on top. Even though he was on the cell phone, informing Kieran of their destination he’d jerked his attention to her, his eyes lingering on her face.
Tears threatened and Tonia looked away from him, out the window. How had it come to this? The divide between them was palpable. The destruction of any trust between her and the man she’d be with for the rest of her life. All because of her rash actions, breaking her word to him and for what? Because of a lie, the human slayer's belief system, which she’d embraced without hesitation.
The car stopped. They’d arrived at her old office and Tonia went to slide out. Fallon’s fingers wrapped around her upper arm, stopping her. “You are not going in there without me.” He got out of the car without another word.
She didn’t move and waited for him to walk around the car and open her door.
A text from Debra a few minutes earlier informed her that Captain Goodall was willing to see her after she’d requested an appointment with him. Now as she made her way down the corridor to his office, the urge to turn and run away, to not face him made it hard to keep moving forward. When Fallon placed his hand on the small of her back, she released a breath of relief. His touch gave her the strength to enter the captain’s office.
Captain Goodall's dark gaze locked to Fallon and then her when they entered. She had to give the male credit. He showed no sign of fear at the presence of a Protector. His handshake was firm, and without hesitation, to both of them when she introduced Fallon as her husband. The male motioned to a chair, she sat and Fallon stood behind, making it clear that he had her back. Although, he probably didn’t trust her with his.
“What can I do for you Marshal Mohr?” Captain Goodall returned to his desk, but like Fallon did not sit. Neither of them willing to give the other the higher ground.
Time for the truth
. “I’m here to apologize both for my abrupt resignation and for my activities as a misguided human slayer.”
The demon’s mouth fell open and he looked to Fallon, as if for confirmation of what she’d said. “Well, that was not what I expected.” He shook his head, a soft smile forming.
Tonia leaned forward. “What were you expecting?”
“That you’d walk in here and threaten to expose me and my kind if I didn’t resign.” He nodded to Fallon. “When you walked in with a Protector, I was sure.”
“I see.” Tonia didn’t blame him for thinking the worst of her, of human slayers. "Captain Goodall, I understand why Alex is dead. You were forced to defend yourself and for that I cannot blame you. We...the slayers are wrong; the doctrine we embrace is flawed. Although I no longer consider myself one of them, I am still fully responsible for my misguided actions. I know words mean little in this instance."
She stood. “That is all I wanted to say. Thank you for seeing me.” He stopped her from stepping away.
“There are so many things that my kind need to apologize for as well Marshal. I doubt that our species will ever fully get along. We can only hope that with each small step, we get a little closer to lowering the loss of life on both sides.” He turned to Fallon. “I appreciate what you and your men are doing for the innocents. The ones you kill are beyond the reach of those of us that do our best to blend with humans.”
Fallon nodded.
The captain’s husky voice shook when he addressed her next. “There is nothing to forgive. The offer stands.” He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out her badge. “Please take it, no pressure; you are technically a consultant now.”
“You did that for me?” Tonia was moved, her heart began to hammer in her chest as she reached for the badge.
“It’s the least I could do for one of the best officers on the force.”
She could only nod; a huge lump in her throat didn’t allow her to speak.
The captain smiled, his handsome face softening. “Stay in touch Marshal.”
Chapter 29
Tonia sat in the screened-in back patio; she put the book she’d been trying to read down and gazed to the back of the estate over the pond. She’d seen Rachel and the teens head towards the stables earlier. They’d invited her, but she declined, telling them she wanted to rest, too embarrassed to admit she’d never ridden before.
She watched a bird fly to a nearby tree closing in on the feeder Hector kept filled. A large gazebo shaded by two large oaks was the perfect setting for Emma, who rocked on a hammock with baby Bella on her stomach, as she flipped through magazines.
This was definitely a perfect place to live. Although there were thirteen people living in the house, there was plenty of privacy; each could find a quiet place to themselves. The grounds were beautiful, the house huge, not to mention the cottages each with two bedrooms and their own gardens. Emma told her she and Cyn enjoyed living in one by themselves. She boasted constantly about how much easier it was to keep clean than their larger home in town.
Wendy walked out and handed her a glass of sweet tea.
The petite woman sat down with another and took a sip. With a sigh, Wendy looked toward the gazebo and smiled. “She’s half demon you know?”
Tonia gasped, her gaze slamming back toward Emma. “Really?”
“Yep,” Wendy replied, still looking at her best friend. “Her father was a high-level who was married to her human mother. Blue is a halfling as well.”
“I suspected,” Tonia replied. “His mother must have been a high level.”
Wendy shook her head. “No actually his father was. Cyn is not his biological dad. He rescued Blue and adopted him after his father abandoned him. His mom is human, but his father never told who she was.”
“Oh God,” Tonia replied, blinking away tears. She’d belonged to a group of people that would kill them, just for who they were. She squeezed her eyes shut as guilt and remorse coursed through her.
Wendy reached over and patted her hand. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ll give you a few days to get through this, then I have an idea of what you can do that should help the situation.”
“Tell me now, please,” Tonia told her, willing to do anything to help make some kind of amends for what she’d done.
“Well,” Wendy said, looking toward Emma. “Emma and I were talking and she had a great idea. You can help the unnecessary killing of benign demons by educating the slayers about them.” Wendy sipped her tea and put her glass down before jumping excitedly to her feet. “You can brief them, we can set up for live online chats, maybe get some low-levels to agree to help us. It’s possible if they understand that not everyone is a killer—a demonic being—that they'll change their belief system or just close down the slayer chapters altogether. Either way, they need to be educated about the split of the Fae race.” She smiled at Tonia. “If anyone can do this, and do it well, it’s you.”
Touched by her words, Tonia gave Wendy a weepy smile. “I am so grateful to know you. Thank you.” She wiped at a tear that escaped to slide down her cheek. "That is such a great idea; I'm going to start working on a presentation right away."
Wendy smiled broadly sitting back down. “Good, now to your next problem. What’s up with Lord Angry?”
A sigh escaped Tonia. “He doesn’t trust me. Feels betrayed that I didn’t keep my word. I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk to me about it. Keeps putting me off.”
“He is very stubborn. They all are. Must be a Protector thing.” Wendy shook her head. “Fortunately for you, Fallon is probably the easiest one to get to open up. He’s very cultured, polite and rarely raises his voice. He’s a good listener.”
Tonia huffed. “Well I must be doing something wrong.”
“I have an idea.” Wendy told her, an impish smile splitting her face. “Lock him in a room with you and make him listen. Tell him if he doesn’t listen to you, you’ll move out of the bedroom. Men hate when we threaten them with that.”
Tonia had to laugh. “If he calls my bluff, I’ll probably give in before he does.”
“He doesn’t have to know that,” Wendy told her crossing her arms. “Hey, you’re a cop, put him in a strangle hold or something until he listens.”
“Thank you Wendy,” Tonia reached over and hugged the small woman. “I’ll definitely think about it. I have to do something.” She flexed her arm.
Wendy’s eyes widened and they both began to laugh. "Actually, I have a better idea." The slight female jumped up and clapped. "Wait until you hear this."
Two days later, sitting at his desk, Fallon pinched his brow at the blurry words on the papers in front of him. The Protectors met earlier; one by one they left the library. Cyn and Roderick to sleep, Logan to his workshop. Kieran remained, working on his computer, his key taps the only other sound in the room.
Pencil in hand, Fallon erased his last attempt at a schedule and began to write again.
“You’re the only person I know who still uses pencil and paper for planning and such,” Kieran told him, the frown on his face telling him he didn’t approve.
“Bugger off,” Fallon replied, not sure why the schedule wasn’t working. Each Protector and Sebastian was to work three nights and take three off. At all times they were to have at least two at the house and three duos out on Patrol.
Kieran shook his head. “There’s probably a program that can do it for you.”
“I’ve got it,” Fallon grumbled. “Go back to whatever you are doing.”
“When are you and Tonia going to make up? You need to get laid or something.” His partner studied him, his intense green gaze not wavering from his. “You are aware that mates can’t go long without it.”
“We are not going without sex, if anything, that is the one area where we get along very well. Shit.” Fallon cursed feeling his face warm. He was over two hundred years old and blushing like a schoolboy.
“Well then why are you such a mess?” Kieran asked, studying him closer.
Fallon put the pencil down and leaned back. “I’m not speaking to her. She broke her word to me. Put everyone in the house in danger by running off without notice.”
“I see,” Kieran replied, not expanding.
“Anyway, I’m not sure if our relationship can progress,” Fallon continued. “Without trust how can it? If I can’t rely on her, then what do we have?”
“I think you’re taking it too far,” Kieran told him, shaking his head.
“She acted rashly, I give you that. But honestly Fallon, to put the future of your relationship on the line for one misstep is extreme.”
Fallon shot upright. “I’m not ending our relationship.”
“You are certainly not giving it a chance by using the old silent treatment,” Kieran replied, standing. “Anyway, your problem, you deal with it. Fix it partner. I’m off to bed.”
"Later Kieran," Fallon grumbled and went back to look at the paperwork. He closed his eyes. Maybe it was time to talk with Tonia. Kieran was right, he couldn't keep acting this way. If he continued to be angry, their partnership would suffer.
She didn't love him, so be it. With time perhaps she'd come to care more. Of course if he continued to keep this divide between them, it would only get harder.
Fallon didn’t watch Kieran leave, but when the door closed and the lock snapped in place, he looked up to see Tonia.
She sat on the couch and crossed her legs. The short green dress she wore slipped up her leg, exposing her firm well-toned thigh. He tore his gaze from it to meet hers.
Her eyes were flat. Cop eyes.
Only Tonia could look sexy yet intimidating at the same time. She pushed her long blonde hair behind her shoulder and looked around the library, taking each detail in, seeming to absorb any pertinent details. He went to delve into her thoughts, but stopped when she shot him a pointed look.
“Stay out of my head.”
Fallon did as told and sat back waiting to hear how she’d begin the conversation. After a few minutes of her sitting in silence, he could not remain quiet anymore.
“Did you need something from me?” he asked, tapping his pencil on the paper, his gaze flickering between the scribbles on the page and his wife.
She uncrossed her legs and crossed them in the opposite direction. Again the tanned temptations garnering all his attention.
“I’m considering moving into another bedroom,” she told him, her expression remaining blank. “It’s not fair for me to be in your space. Especially when you don’t trust me.” She reached down to pull the errant strap of her sandal into place, her hand lingering at her ankle.
Had he kissed her there yet? She had beautiful ankles.
“Fallon?” She got his attention and his eyes trailed up the long toned leg to her face. "I am about to go upstairs and pack up my stuff. I will move into the adjoining bedroom.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked. His mouth was suddenly dry as he imagined how nice it would be to take her there in the library. They’d not made love in the library.
“No, of course not,” Tonia replied. “I know you don’t believe anything I say. But the truth is, I enjoy watching you sleep. It's nice to reach for you and feel your body next to mine. I like snuggling against you, feeling our bodies touch. Skin against skin.” She licked her lips and pouted, the moistened morsels grabbed his full attention.
He got hard. He'd be damned if she was moving anywhere. They were mates and would sleep together.
“I suppose I can come to the bedroom to have relations, as you put it. I will be able touch you as much as I want, during those times. I mean...”
He blinked to clear his eyes, swallowed and adjusted himself in the chair as his aroused state began to make it uncomfortable to remain seated. “Er…I'm sorry what did you say?” He’d stopped listening after she’d mentioned touching him all she wanted, in bed.
Tonia took a deep breath not seeming to notice he wasn’t listening. Her face softened and she looked directly into his eyes, he panicked sure she was about to drop a bombshell.
“I don't know what else to do. Maybe we can go to counseling. I want to work on our relationship, on gaining your trust. What do you want me to do to prove I love you?”
He lost all ability to breathe, he knew his eyes widened and his mouth fell open.
When she hunched her shoulders, he realized she expected him to reject her, push her away.
“I…” His mind went blank. Should he tell her he loved her now? Fear choked him. Would she think he only said it because she did? What the hell was he supposed to do?
“Forget I said anything, never mind.” She stood. “I better get cracking and get moved to the adjoining bedroom now.” A wobbly smile curved her lips. "See you later."
Fallon flew around the desk to stop her from leaving. He stepped in front of her. “Do you mean it?”
She rolled her eyes and looked towards the door. “Why the hell would I say that and not mean it? Yes, I’m moving into the other bedroom.”
“Not that.”
“What then?”
“That you love me.” Heat threatened to flush his face again, and this time he didn’t try to stop it. “I am aware you love Alex,” he told her, feeling foolish.
“Alex is dead. I will always love him.” She looked up at him, her face softening. “He will always have a place in my heart. You’ve got the rest of it.”
"Don't move out,"
"Things have to change." Her eyes were sad when she turned and walked out before he could think of what else to say.
The bedroom was dimmed thanks to the blinds being shut when Fallon exited the bathroom to prepare for bed. The huge empty bed did little to pull him toward it. He grabbed sweatpants and padded out.
When he entered a living area downstairs, he found Wendy with baby Bella asleep on her lap. She looked up and beamed at seeing him. "What are you doing up? Aren't you sleepy?"
"Not at all." He went to the windows. "I am actually looking for Tonia, have you seen her?"
"I think she's working on her presentation." Wendy stroked the baby's cheek.
"Presentation?"
"Yes, didn't she tell you? Tonia is going to start a training program for human slayers, online. It will teach about the dark Fae."
"That is a good idea," he replied and frowned at realizing they'd not had a conversation in a long time. "Do you know where she may be working on this presentation?"
"I saw her heading towards the cottages, said she needed time to think."
He wondered if Tonia still was considering moving to the cottage. Hell no, that was taking it too far.
Wendy lifted the baby and placed her with care onto the sofa and stood. "Look Fallon, it’s obvious there's a problem between you two that needs fixing. What are you going to do about it?" She stuck her index finger in his chest. "Because you are being too inflexible, and if you keep this up, she's going to leave you."
Dryness made it hard to swallow. "She can't leave me."
"Maybe not physically." Wendy shrugged. "Anyway, just think about it. She mentioned you agreed to marry her. Yet how can you possibly expect her to marry you now?"
"Will you help me?" Fallon took a breath. "I don't know what to do to be honest."