Gideon asked me if I’m happy for him, for
them, and I am. They are so right for each other,
I know that. But I don’t envy them the battle
they will have to wage. I wonder how I can best
help them. Just be here, I suppose, be a friend,
help them however I can
.
Well, looking back over this rather long day,
I realize it was a day of confidences. Tamara
drew me to one side after our long lunch and
told me that she and Nigel are trying to have
another baby. I hope it happens; she’s so keen
to have a third child. They want a big family,
at least six, so she told me. Sweet Tamara, a
mother-in-law’s dream and so dear to me. I’m
glad Nigel’s made her happy, and vice versa;
he’s such a difficult man. Before he
262 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
met Tamara, I thought he would never find a
girl that pleased him. He’s so critical
.
He was much nicer to me today. That startled
me, too. Tamara softens him. He worships her,
that’s evident, and he adores the children. I’m
thankful they’re such a happy little family
.
Everyone was so generous to me this Christmas. Bruce gave me a beautiful
Nécessaire,
a
vanity case, made by Louis Cartier in the
1930s. It’s a gorgeous little thing: black enamel
decorated with tiny diamonds, rubies, and emeralds. He knows I love collecting these old
signed pieces by well-known jewelers, and apparently he went to a great deal of trouble to
find me a Cartier piece. This one he found in
Rome, of all places. At least, someone found it
for him
.
My mother and Derek gave me a shagreen
box; the shagreen is a lovely greenish gray color. My mother said she thought it was meant
for me, since an S made of gold decorates the
lid. It will make a nice box for stationery on my
desk. Chloe presented me with a lavender-colored cashmere shawl that’s perfectly beautiful, and the twins gave me peridot earrings designed and made by Gideon, and paid for by
the two of them. Their note said they chose
peridots because they matched the color of my
green eyes. They’re all so loving. I’m a lucky
woman
.
Power of a Woman / 263
The gift from Nigel and Tamara took me by
surprise, because it’s so obviously valuable, and
not the kind of thing they usually give me. It’s
an icon, Russian of course, and exquisitely
painted and intricately decorated with gold and
semiprecious stones, and it’s old. Very old. I’m
quite certain it was Tamara’s idea to get me the
icon, and that she was the one who found it.
But the note was loving, and Nigel seemed eager
to know if I really liked it
.
My adorable grandchildren gave me presents
they had made themselves. Arnaud painted a
picture of Natalie, not at all like her, naturally,
but the intention was there. She gave me a
small, fancy paper bag full of kisses, awkwardly
drawn on a long sheet of paper, folded and tied
with ribbon by Tamara
.
All in all, it was a happy time, and there were
no quarrels or disagreements for once. Everyone
enjoyed the day, even Nigel, who was very am-icable with us all. I hope his behavior today
bodes well for the future
.
On the way home from Regent’s Park, Chloe
started to talk about coming back to London for
Easter. It’s true that Brearley breaks for almost
three weeks in March, and there’s no reason
she shouldn’t come. I’m just reluctant to let her
visit here on her own, and I don’t really understand myself. After all, she is eighteen, and she
would be staying with my
264 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
mother and Derek. But something’s holding me
back from saying yes to her
.
I’m so happy that Chloe has remained contented since Thanksgiving, that she hasn’t gone on
about working at Jardine’s. She’s sensible in
that way. Having broached the idea to me, she’s
now waiting for me to make a decision
.
She’s so special, and in so many ways. She
always was, too, from being a little girl. I’m
blessed really. My lovely daughter has never
given me any trouble
.
Gideon didn’t say too much when she said
she wanted to have the Easter break in London,
and spend time at Jardine’s with him. His response was, “It’s up to Ma.” But he does love
her, and he seems willing to take her under his
wing. Well, we’ll see. Tomorrow I’ll talk to
Gideon….
Gideon…Lenore…I understand only too well
the pull between them, the overwhelming attrac-tion that draws them back to each other. That
kind of feeling is so hard to fight. I know
.
On the other hand, it’s wrong to build one’s
happiness on someone else’s unhappiness. Doing that somehow always comes back to haunt
you. It’s like throwing out a boomerang that
returns to hit you in the face
.
It was a long time ago that I was faced with
a similar kind of decision, and I knew I had to
walk away, not look back. And, for the
Power of a Woman / 265
most part, I never have. There have been moments when a yearning for him has surfaced,
the desire to see him blinding me to reason. But
it was only ever for a moment or two. Sanity
prevails. It always will. But how I’ve longed for
him
.
Stevie put down the pen, closed her journal, and returned it to the drawer. She had written enough.
Later, when she went to bed, she found it hard to fall asleep, she had so much on her mind. She tossed and turned for almost an hour until she finally dozed off.
And she dreamed of him.
It was a dream so vivid, it remained with her long after she awakened the next morning. As she lay in bed in her charming blue and white bedroom, watching the early light seep in through the curtained windows, she struggled through the residue of the dream. It still clung to her, enveloped her.
Stevie found it hard to shake off, so real had it been. It was as if he had actually been there with her in the room all night. She could feel his dominating presence surrounding her, could smell his co-logne. Closing her eyes, she saw him again…saw the dark, passionate eyes, the sensitive mouth, the wide and generous smile, the even teeth so white against the tan of his skin.
And she heard his voice, heard him telling her how much he loved her, and for a while she was 266 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
transported back into the dream. For in it they had made love to each other, had been joined together in the perfect harmony that had once been theirs, and she longed to recapture it, just as she yearned for him at this moment.
Against her own volition she began to weep. Tears slid out from under her lids, trickled down her cheeks. She pushed her face into the pillow and she wept for the loss of him, for the life they could have had together, for all that might have been.
Eventually, when her tears had abated, Stevie got up, and after pulling on her dressing gown she went into the kitchen. As she pushed open the door, Chloe exclaimed, “Good morning, Mommy. I’ve made the coffee; do you want a cup? I’ll—”
Chloe broke off, stared at her, then asked with a frown, “Are you all right, Mom?”
Stevie nodded. “Of course I am. Why do you ask?”
“You’re so white, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
Stevie shook her head, thinking her daughter’s choice of words was unfortunate. “I didn’t sleep well; I’m a little tired, I guess. Too much on my mind,” she improvised.
“I’m sorry. And you work too hard, Mom.” Chloe stepped over to her mother, put her hand on her arm, and continued. “Sit down here, and I’ll bring you a mug of coffee. Would you like some toast?
I’ll make it for you.”
Power of a Woman / 267
“Thanks, darling.” Stevie smiled at her wanly.
Impulsively, Chloe grabbed hold of Stevie and wrapped her arms around her. “I love you, Mom.”
The girl hugged her tightly, clinging to her for a long moment.
“And I love you, too, darling.”
They finally drew apart, and Stevie, staring into her daughter’s face, thought how much she resembled her father in coloring. She had his dark eyes, his hair. She was his child, even though she had a strong look of Blair.
“Let me get the coffee for you.” Chloe hurried across the kitchen, suddenly filled with worry about her mother. She had dark rings under her eyes and she looked so sad this morning. Chloe wondered why, what had upset her.
A moment later, walking back to the kitchen table with the coffee, Chloe exclaimed, “I’m going to start
really
looking after you. That’s going to be my New Year’s resolution!”
Stevie laughed. “I’m perfectly all right, truly I am.
As I said, I seem to have so many things on my mind right now. But you don’t have to worry about me, Chloe. I’ll be fine.”
Chloe merely nodded and went back to make the toast. When it was ready, she brought it to the table along with her own mug of coffee. Sitting down opposite her mother she murmured, “You’re not still angry with me, are you? I mean about wanting to work at Jardine’s.”
“I was never angry, Chloe. Just concerned 268 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
about your education. I spoke to Bruce about it the other day, and he seemed quite tickled at the idea of you working in the company.”
“He did?”
“Yes.” Stevie saw the sudden excitement flashing on her daughter’s face, the hope in her eyes, and on the spur of the moment she said, “You can spend the Easter break here, Chloe, if you like. It seems to mean so much to you.”
“Oh, Mom, can I? Thank you, oh, thank you so much!” She jumped up and hugged Stevie, and showered her with kisses.
“But you have to stay with your grandmother and gramps in Regent’s Park. You can’t live here in this flat alone, you know,” Stevie pointed out quickly.
“That’s fine. Oh, I’m so excited, I can hardly wait.”
Stevie took a sip of coffee, looking at her eighteen-year-old daughter over the rim. It gave her pleasure to see Chloe so happy. It had taken so little to bring that enthusiasm back. She fell down into herself for a few moments, her mind focusing on
him
. She had not dreamed about him for several years now, nor did her thoughts often dwell on him. But there had been so much talk about him since Thanksgiving, no wonder he was on her mind once more. The memories of him were painful. Long ago she had vowed to herself that she would not fall into the trap of wishful thinking, of dwelling on the past. And so she pushed aside thoughts of him. They were futile anyway.
Power of a Woman / 269
Rising, walking to the door, Stevie said, “I’m going to get ready for work. Do you want to come to the store with me today, Chloe? You can spend some time with Gideon in the workshops if you want.”
Chloe nodded and jumped up. “I’d love to come with you, Mom. I’ll get ready, too.”
“A
ND WHAT EXACTLY DID THE SULTAN TELL YOU
when you went to see him?” Bruce asked, leaning forward slightly, pinning his eyes on her.
Stevie was seated behind her desk in her office above the Bond Street store, and returning his steady gaze, she answered, “He said he thought I did not wish
personally
to handle his business anymore
and
that I was passing it on to my son. He had been wondering
why
this was so,
why
it had happened.
He even wondered if he had offended me in some way, and this had worried him considerably. Mind you, Bruce, he couched all this in a most diplomatic way.”
“I understand. How did he get this impression?
Did he tell you?”
Stevie nodded. “Yes, he said his executive assistant, Gareth James, phoned me here at the beginning of December. The switchboard put him through to Nigel without any explanation. When 272 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
Gareth asked for me again, Nigel told him I wasn’t available, that I was abroad. Nigel then intimated he was now handling all of my clients for me.
Gareth asked if I was in New York, and Nigel confirmed this. Once more he reiterated that he was looking after my clients, and he asked how he could be of assistance to the sultan. Gareth said the sultan was interested in seeing some of our newest designs.
They made a date for Nigel to go over to Claridge’s later in the week, to meet with the sultan. However, the next day Gareth called back and explained that the sultan had to leave unexpectedly for America.
That’s when Nigel suggested he could meet with the sultan in New York, at the sultan’s convenience.
And so they made a date.”
“I see.” Bruce steepled his fingers, sat staring into space, a reflective look on his face.
“It was for December the tenth,” Stevie clarified.
Bruce sighed. “Nigel’s being rather stupid, wouldn’t you say? Playing these games. We could have lost a major client because of his manipulations.”
“A mega client, as we say in New York.”
“Well, we know what he’s up to, don’t we? First Gilbert told him he was courting your clients, and now we actually have it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. The sultan has given you all the ammuni-tion you need. By the way, how did you straighten it out with the sultan? I’m
Power of a Woman / 273
presuming you did, since you sold him the yellow diamonds.”
“I told him I’d taken some time off to recuperate from bronchitis, which, as you know, is partially true. I did take things a bit easier in late October and November, because I’d been so sick in September. I was very diplomatic. I explained that Nigel had been looking after things for me.
Temporarily
.