Power Play: A Novel (26 page)

“She wouldn’t do that. She’s a sensible woman. And I hope you would never threaten me with that either.” He didn’t think she would, but you never knew.

“And what if they tell you to get rid of me one day, or they’ll fire you? I guess then I’d be history too, wouldn’t I?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. They’d have no reason to do that, if I’m not leading a double life. This is what they’re objecting to, not who you are. I could be married to a monkey for all they care, they just don’t want me to cause a scandal, which could drive stock prices down or infuriate stockholders. This is business to them, it’s not about love and romance.” He looked impatient as he said it. He didn’t like the questions she was asking, which he thought were unnecessary and superfluous. He was willing to give her what she wanted now, and she was looking a gift horse in the mouth and examining its teeth. And he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be raked over the coals by her now, or interrogated about his decision.

“And what is this about to you?” she asked him in a strained voice. “Love or your job? If they hadn’t forced your hand now, would you ever have left Liz, or would you have left me like this for the next twenty years, hidden away in Malibu, while you live with Liz five days a week?”

“That’s irrelevant,” he said harshly. “I told you I’m divorcing her. I’m going to drive up to the lake and tell her tomorrow. I’m going to fly back tonight.” He had it all worked out in his mind. He had a
plan. And by Monday he wanted to tell the board the deed was done.

“What if she says no?” Ashley asked him.

“She has no choice in the matter. I’m going to file for divorce immediately. I have to satisfy the board.” She could see the same thing happening to her one day, that was about to happen to Liz, and just as coldly. If her existence ever put his career at risk, he would leave her flat. And he was about to do that to Liz. After all Ashley’s begging and pleading for years, he was leaving Liz for the board, not for her. She felt an icy chill run down her spine as she looked at him. He was the coldest man she had ever met, and she realized now that all he cared about was his career. She was just a body to him, and a great piece of ass, which was why he was choosing her, not Liz. But the real love of his life was UPI. She knew that now. It was clear. And even their daughters didn’t matter to him. They were in his will, but not his heart. Nothing mattered to him except himself and his career. It was frightening to think about, and Ashley had never felt so alone in her entire life. Winning him now was a hollow victory. He had made the decision for all the wrong reasons, and if anything happened to change that, she knew that he would turn around just as fast and dump her too. She would never have a moment’s security with him. As long as UPI owned him, and whenever his career was at risk, her life with him would be in jeopardy and could be canceled at a moment’s notice. She sat in silence watching him, and he had told her all he had to say.

“I’m flying back tonight, and I’ll see her tomorrow. I’ll call you this weekend and let you know how it went,” Marshall said matter-of-factly, and she nodded. She didn’t know what to say to him. “Thank you,” “Good luck,” “Have fun”? “I love you” seemed irrelevant now
in his world. The board had told him to get rid of one of them, and it had almost been her, after he spent a night with her and made love to her while she had no idea that he was going to dump her. Instead it was happening to Liz. It made their lovemaking the night before seem like a travesty. He didn’t love her. He needed her, in order to feel powerful and virile and alive. He didn’t love anyone but himself. Ashley had suddenly seen that like lightning lighting up a night sky.

He put his arms around her before he left, and she felt wooden as he held her. She couldn’t say anything to him. All she could think of now was that he had come there to break it off with her and had changed his mind, like a deal he had salvaged at the last minute. Mergers and acquisitions. He had traded one merger for another. She knew she should be grateful to him for picking her instead of Liz, but she wasn’t. She just felt sick.

“I love you, Ash,” he said quietly. “I always did.” But she didn’t believe him now when he said it, and she knew she never would again. The words meant nothing to him. He was going to be with her, thanks to the board, not to him. “We always knew that someone would get hurt in this, in the end. I’m glad it won’t be you,” he said generously, but she was hurting anyway, more than he would ever understand. And even if he got divorced now, she had lost in the end. She could no longer harbor illusions that he loved her, and wanted to be with her. He just didn’t want to lose his job as CEO, and she was younger and sexier than Liz and made him feel more potent.

“I love you too, Marshall,” she said, and kissed him. But they were just words now, and the kiss he returned wasn’t a searing kiss like the night before when he had been overwhelmed with need and passion, or even a kiss like she’d had with Geoff the night their feelings had overwhelmed them. It was a small, cold kiss. It was the kiss
of a powerful man who never did anything without a reason, or a benefit to be derived. On his profit and loss sheet, she had moved from loss to profit by a sheer stroke of luck, and nothing else. “Have a safe flight back.”

“I’ll call you before I leave,” he said to her, and then left for the office. She stood on the deck for a long time, thinking about him, and wondering what life would be like with him. She had dreamed of it for eight years, and now she couldn’t envision it. She couldn’t imagine feeling as though he really loved her, ever again.

She couldn’t help wondering too if he’d have the guts to tell Liz he was divorcing her once he got there. There was always the possibility that he’d change his mind again, or that Liz would convince him that she and their children needed him more. Nothing would have surprised Ashley anymore. He had rocked her world with what he’d told her, and all her illusions had come tumbling down.

As Marshall had promised, he called Ashley from the car on the way to the airport on Thursday night. He sounded tired and subdued and told Ashley he loved her, but she no longer trusted him, and knew she never would again. He wasn’t capable of the truth. They talked for a few minutes, and then they hung up, and she sat in her bedroom long into the night, thinking about everything that had happened. The sun had come up, and she could hear birds singing when she finally fell asleep.

The girls came upstairs the next morning to wake her, and she hurried downstairs and made them breakfast and then dropped them off at camp.

She was in her studio, staring at a blank canvas absent-mindedly, when Geoff called her later that morning. He had been thinking about her for two days, and said he had found an apartment in West Hollywood, right where he wanted, and he really liked it.

“You can give me decorating advice, if you want. I’m terrible at that kind of thing. Martine the Monstrous used to pick out all our art.” She smiled at what he said, but she sounded distracted, and
Geoff could hear it. “How did it go with him?” He had worried about her. It seemed like a terrible situation to him.

“Okay, I guess. He said he’s going to divorce his wife now.” But she didn’t sound happy about it, which surprised him. Geoff wondered if he had promised to before, and failed to do it, and now she didn’t believe him.

“Well, that should be good news if you’ve been waiting for eight years.” Maybe Marshall did love her after all. Geoff hoped so for her sake, but had his doubts. He didn’t like married men stories for his women friends.

“The board made him do it,” she said flatly.

“The board is making him divorce his wife? Is that any of their business?” It seemed strange to him.

“They found out about us, and the girls. And they told him he had to get rid of one of us, and clean up his act. They don’t want him involved in a scandal. It was either that or lose his job.”

“So he’s divorcing her to save his career?”

“That’s about it. He said he was going to dump me, but he changed his mind,” she said to Geoff, and felt ill when she did.

“He told you
that
?” Geoff was as shocked as she still felt after hearing it the day before.

“Yesterday, before he left.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

“Actually, kind of sick. I haven’t figured it out yet. He would do just about anything not to lose his job as CEO.” He had proved that now.

“Apparently. So now you move to San Francisco and live happily ever after?” He sounded sad as he asked her. He had just found her and was about to lose her again. But he had no right to interfere.
She had waited eight years for this and had two children with the man. Geoff didn’t want to mess it up for her. He cared about her too much to do that.

“Maybe,” she said in answer to his question. “I need to think about this. It hit me like a freight train yesterday when he told me. It’s not exactly what I consider romantic. It’s just business, which is the real love of his life. He made that pretty clear. If they hadn’t given him an ultimatum, he’d be staying with her. For another year anyway. He may still change his mind before he tells her, just like he did with me. I don’t know what he’s going to do.” She didn’t trust him anymore, and Geoff could hear that too. He thought Marshall was a truly bad guy.

“Can I interest you in dinner tonight?” Geoff asked her cautiously. She seemed like she had a lot on her mind.

“I don’t know if I should,” she said, sounding confused. “I don’t want to make a bigger mess than I’m already in, and I don’t want to screw you up too.”

“You won’t. I’m a big boy. It’s just dinner, and I promise to behave.” She smiled when he said it, and remembered their kisses. She wasn’t sorry now that she’d kissed him, but she didn’t want to do it again. She was confused enough as it was. “Why don’t I take you and the girls out to dinner? I saw a cute place yesterday they might like. It’s a pizza parlor with a jukebox and arcade games with a little merry-go-round outside. What do you think?”

“They’d love it. Thanks, Geoff.” It sounded like a nice way to spend the evening, and fun for the girls.

“I’ll pick you up at six. Is that good for you?”

“Perfect.”

And when he arrived they were dressed and ready to go. She
hadn’t heard from Marshall all day, and wondered if he’d gone to Lake Tahoe. But at least when they were out with Geoff, she wouldn’t think about it.

The girls rode the merry-go-round before they ate dinner, and she and Geoff tried to talk over the jukebox. He could see that she was upset, and the strain in her eyes. It had been a rough two days with Marshall, and Geoff felt sorry for her. She looked as though all her illusions had been shattered.

And after the pizza, they danced for a few minutes and the girls played the arcade games. They were already half asleep in the back of his car by the time they got home. It had been a perfect evening, and he helped her carry them inside and waited on the deck while she put the girls to bed. They were asleep before she turned off the light.

“Thank you. That was fun for them,” she said as she sat down in a deck chair next to where he was sitting.

“I enjoyed it more than they did,” he said, smiling at her. “You’re lucky you have them. One of these days, if I ever find the right woman, I’d like to have some kids too.” He looked wistful as he said it.

“They’re the best thing in my life,” Ashley said, looking tired, and she closed her eyes for a minute as he watched her, wishing he could make things easier for her. But there was nothing he could do. And when she opened her eyes again, she smiled at him. “I wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t moved to England?”

“I’d have married you at fourteen and we’d have fifteen children by now,” he teased her, and then he reached over and held her hand. They sat there quietly for a long time, in the moonlight, lost in their own thoughts. She was thinking about Marshall and wondering
what was happening in Tahoe, and Geoff was thinking about her and what she was going to do if he really divorced his wife now. He hated to see her wind up with him. And she didn’t look happy about it either.

He stayed for a little while longer, and then he got up to leave. She looked tired and distracted, and he had work to do. He had some scripts to work on for the new show.

“Do you still want to go to your beach club tomorrow?” he asked her, and she nodded. She knew it wasn’t right spending time with him, but it was all she wanted to do now. She felt safe with him, as though he were a refuge from everything that was happening to her.

“We can have lunch there, and the girls play in the pool all day.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said, and this time when he bent to kiss her chastely, she melted into his arms and clung to him. He held her for a long time and stroked her hair. He didn’t want to do anything to upset her, and then she kissed him, and everything about it was simple and pure and felt right to both of them.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Ashley whispered.

“It’s okay,” he said gently, “you don’t need to know right now. We’ll figure it out later. And whatever you end up doing will be fine with me. I showed up a little late on the scene. You don’t owe me anything.” And he meant it.

“Thank you,” she said softly, and he left a few minutes later after promising to pick them up at noon the next day. Ashley didn’t know what was happening, but it felt right to be with him for now, and he wasn’t asking for anything. At the moment, she had nothing to give anyone, not even Marshall. After what Marshall had said to her the day before, she felt empty inside, and she couldn’t imagine ever feeling anything again. She was numb.

* * *

When Marshall landed in San Francisco on Thursday night, he went to the house in Ross to spend the night. He felt strangely peaceful now that he had made his decision, and he didn’t feel anxious anymore. He knew he was doing the right thing. It would be a shock for Liz, but it was time to be honest with her. He had lied to her for too long. And he felt lighter now knowing that it was almost over.

As he walked into their bedroom, he wondered if she would sell the house or continue to live in it. He had to start looking for a house to live in with Ashley now. He was going to call a Realtor on Monday, and his lawyer, after he called Connie Feinberg. But first he had to talk to Liz.