Power Play: A Novel (27 page)

He drove up to Lake Tahoe on Friday morning. It took him four hours, and when he got there she was out, getting a manicure, the housekeeper said. And Lindsay was at a friend’s. He put on his bathing suit and went down to the lake to take a swim. It was a beautiful day.

He was still sitting on the dock when Liz got home and found him. She was surprised to see him there so early, and wondered if he was feeling sick again, but he seemed fine to her, and she was pleased he had come.

“When did you get back from L.A.?” She smiled at him.

“Last night,” he said, looking at her, but he wasn’t smiling. She felt like a stranger to him now. He had already left her in his mind. He hadn’t texted her when he got back, which was unusual for him. He always told her where he was. “I took the day off today.” She could see that, and he noticed that her nails were bright red. She looked more rested and relaxed than she had when he left
for L.A. “I came up to talk to you,” he said finally with a serious expression.

“Did something happen? Did you have another attack in L.A.?” She was instantly worried, and he shook his head, as she sat down on the dock near him.

“Something happened on Monday,” he said, as they sat on the dock looking at each other. She had a strange feeling that something was about to happen, but she didn’t know what. He was staring at her oddly, while she waited for him to explain. “Connie Feinberg came to see me in my office. And she basically forced me to do something I haven’t had the guts to do in eight years.”

“And what’s that?” Liz didn’t understand.

“Be honest with you. I’ve been living a lie for eight years.”

“What about?” It sounded odd to her.

“There’s another woman in L.A.,” he said, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. She stared at him in disbelief. Her mind refused to accept what he had just said, as though someone had pressed a button that said “delete.” The information wouldn’t process.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been involved with a woman in L.A. for eight years,” he said coldly. “I never wanted to leave you or tell you, so I spent two days a week with her. We have two little girls who are seven years old, twins. They live in Malibu.” Liz looked at him as he said it and thought she was going to faint. “Someone told the board, and they want me to clean up my situation, or they’re going to fire me.” He said it as though he expected her to understand, but she didn’t. She didn’t understand anything he had just said or how it had happened,
and why she had never known about it, or even suspected. She had trusted him completely. She stood up and almost fell over. She was shaking like a leaf. He reached out to steady her, and she pulled away, as though his hand would burn through her flesh, the way his words had just ripped through her heart.

“You have two children with her?” Her voice was a high-pitched squeak that neither of them recognized. And Marshall was frighteningly calm as he watched her. All he wanted now was to tell her the truth, for the first time in years. “And you made love to me during that time? And lied to me? And to our children? How could you do that to me?” She choked on a sob and burst into tears as they both stood there next to the lake. She looked as though she was going to hit him, and he wouldn’t have blamed her if she did. This was hard for him too. It wasn’t easy admitting it to her, but he wanted to now, to make things clear and explain his decision.

“I was in love with her. Crazily, passionately, unreasonably. I thought it would blow over, but it didn’t. It just kept going, year after year. And she got pregnant right in the beginning. She wanted to have the babies, especially once we knew it was twins. Maybe she thought it was the only way she’d keep me. She was very young at the time.”

“How young?” Liz asked in a strangled voice. She wanted to know everything now. He had ripped her wide open, and she thought it couldn’t get any worse than it was.

“She was twenty-two when we started. She’s thirty now. It’s not about her age, Liz,” he said quietly. “You’re a beautiful woman, and I love you. When Connie told me I had to make a decision, I was going to stay with you. I went down to L.A. to tell her, but I couldn’t. If I left her, I’d sneak back to her in a week. It’s just something I need.
I don’t even know what it is, or why. It’s beyond reason. You and I have had almost thirty years. Maybe we’ve just played it out and there’s nothing left except respect and duty and something familiar. But I know I’m not done in L.A. And she’s waited a long time for this. I’m divorcing you, Liz,” he said as though he expected her to step down gracefully and wish him well.

And instead she let out a terrifying scream that reverberated across the lake, as he stared at her, not sure what to do to calm her down. She just kept on screaming until the housekeeper came running out of the house, and he waved her away. He tried to put his arms around Liz then to calm her down, and she hit him, hard. She was flailing at him wildly, screaming at him about how he could do that to her. She had always been there for him, and gave him her life and three children, and he had made her whole life into a lie. “It wasn’t a lie,” he insisted. “I loved you. I still do. I just can’t be with you anymore.” She looked at him then like an ax murderer and ran back to the house. He followed her, but he left her alone when she ran into their bedroom and slammed the door. He went to the door an hour later, and he could hear her sobbing and didn’t go in. The housekeeper knew that something terrible had happened and stayed away. She was afraid that something had happened to one of the boys, but she didn’t dare ask, and sat crying in the kitchen, without even knowing what was going on.

Lindsay came home while Liz was still in the bedroom crying, but she couldn’t hear her, and was surprised to see her father there so early on Friday afternoon, when she passed him in the hall.

“Where’s Mom? Are you feeling okay, Dad?” she asked with a look of concern. He was touched, and wondered how long it would last, given what he had just told her mother. He knew he was about to
become persona non grata to them all, if Liz decided to tell them the truth.

“She’s not feeling well. She’s in her … our room. I don’t think you should go in right now.”

Lindsay went downstairs to get something to eat then, and found the housekeeper crying, and wondered what was going on.

“What’s wrong?” she asked her, looking scared. She thought of her brothers too.

“I don’t know. Your mother is very upset. I think they had a fight.”

“Oh,” Lindsay said, and left the kitchen, and decided to check on her mother. She found her facedown on her bed, sobbing incoherently, and when she glanced up at Lindsay, her face was ravaged by grief. Lindsay looked terrified when she saw her, and the condition she was in. She had never seen her mother that way before. “Mom, what happened?” All Liz could do was sob as Lindsay took her in her arms and tried to console her, but all her mother did was cry. “Did you and Dad have a fight?” she asked, after what the housekeeper had told her, and Liz answered in a shaking voice.

“We’re getting a divorce,” she said bluntly, as her daughter stared at her with wide eyes. “Your father is in love with someone else. He’s leaving me for her.” She didn’t tell her it had been going on for eight years, nor that they had twin daughters. It was all she could bring herself to say for now.

“With who?” Lindsay almost didn’t believe her, but it was obviously true.

“A young girl in L.A.”

“How young?” Lindsay looked at her, horrified.

“She’s thirty,” Liz said, and tried to regain her composure, as Lindsay sat down on the bed next to her and started to cry too. They held
each other for a long time, unable to believe what had happened. It was dark when they finally went downstairs. Marshall was sitting in the living room, and he was visibly distressed when they walked into the room. Liz’s face was red and swollen, and their daughter looked even worse. They had been crying for hours.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a grim voice. “I know this is hard for everyone. It is for me too. But I had no choice but to tell you,” he said to Liz, as she stared at him with broken eyes.

“How could you lie to me for all these years?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. And I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to leave either one of you. And I’m not sure I would have, if the board hadn’t forced my hand.” He was being honest with her now, and what he said wasn’t lost on her.

“So you’re divorcing me to save your job?”

“It’s not going to help if my career goes down the tubes too. Our marriage is already over, Liz. It has been for years.” It was what he had always told Ashley, but they both knew it wasn’t true. He had acted like her husband and had still wanted her to act as his wife for all those years, even in bed.

“It wasn’t over, and you know it,” Liz shot back at him as Lindsay listened to them in horror and then ran upstairs to her room. “It wasn’t over. You made love to me last week. Or was that just out of duty too?” Marshall didn’t tell her that for the last many years it had been out of affection and respect, and what he thought he owed her, but he was enough of a gentleman not to say it to her now. “And what kind of girl is she to spend eight years with a married man, and have children out of wedlock? What kind of little whore is she?” Liz was screaming at him again, and Lindsay could hear them from her room, although she couldn’t distinguish the words.

“She’s suffered more from this than you have,” Marshall told her harshly. “She’s known about you for eight years. At least you had the benefit of what you thought was a real marriage.”

“And you didn’t?” She looked outraged.

“I knew the truth.”

Liz realized then that she was the only one who hadn’t. He had played at marriage with her five days a week, and spent two days a week in L.A. with the girl he really loved, and their children.

Liz went back upstairs then to talk to Lindsay, and Marshall slipped quietly into one of the guest rooms and went to bed. Nothing more of any use was going to be said that night, or possibly all weekend. All that was left were insults and recriminations as Liz looked back over the last eight years, now that she knew the truth. And as she got into bed, she remembered that John was coming home for the weekend and bringing Alyssa, and she couldn’t let them come. She texted him that they needed a family weekend, and he couldn’t bring Alyssa to the lake, and he called his mother as soon as he saw the message. He sounded angry and embarrassed.

“Why not? I invited her weeks ago. You can’t cancel on her now, Mom. That’s rude.” And he thought his mother sounded strange. “Are you sick?” She didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t want to tell him the news on the phone.

“I have a cold. It’s just not a good weekend to bring her. Tell her I’m sorry and she can come another time.”

“That’s not fair. Then I won’t come home either.”

“You have to,” Liz said, sounding desperate. “Just this one weekend.” Her voice wavered then. “I need you here.”

“Why?” He sounded belligerent and unhappy, which was unusual for him.

“I just do.”

He hesitated for a long time and then capitulated. His mother sounded really sick.

“All right. But it’s really rude, Mom,” he scolded her, and she apologized to him, and said she’d apologize to Alyssa herself the next time she saw her. And after that, Liz lay in bed, remembering everything Marshall had said to her, and she knew she’d remember it for the rest of her life. Twenty-seven years, gone in the blink of an eye. And he had a mistress with twins. The whole thing was beyond belief and right out of a bad movie. But the bad movie had turned out to be her life.

When John arrived the next afternoon, his parents were waiting for him, and Lindsay was sulking in her room. She had refused to speak to her father since the day before. And Liz had called Tom that morning and asked him to come to Tahoe, but he refused. He said he had other plans. So Liz knew she’d have to call and tell him after she spoke to John. She would have preferred to tell Tom in person, but he had no desire to see his father. And Liz knew he’d have even less once he heard what he was doing and why. Tom would never forgive him. Everything Tom had said about his father for years had turned out to be true.

When John walked into the house, he saw the serious look on their faces and knew instantly that something terrible had happened. He could see now that his mother wasn’t sick, she was crying. And his father looked uncomfortable and stressed.

“What’s going on?” John asked them both. “Is Tom okay?” He had had the same thought as everyone else. Only a death in the family could have justified how they looked. And there had been a death, their marriage. But Liz was quick to reassure her younger son.

“Tom’s fine. I talked to him this morning. I asked him to come up, but he couldn’t.”

“So what is it?” John asked with a look of panic.

“It’s Dad and I,” Liz said quietly, trying not to cry. “We’re getting a divorce.” She burst into tears again as John stared at them in horror. It had been his worst fear, especially lately. He’d had the feeling something was wrong.

“Why?” John asked them, starting to cry too, and his father didn’t answer. Marshall couldn’t. It hurt him more to see his son look so devastated than it did to see Liz. He knew how much his son loved and respected him, and he didn’t want to lose that too. He was afraid that John would hate him now. Lindsay had declared war on him the day before and called him a liar and a monster, and he was used to that from her. And his older son had hated him for years. Tom had seen right through him, and said he was a fraud. And Marshall wondered if he was right. Maybe Tom instinctively knew. They had never seen eye to eye since he was a little boy. And it would only get worse now. He had lost an entire family in one fell swoop, but he had expected that. And it was a choice he had made when he had decided to save his career, leave Liz, and stay with Ashley.

“Your father is involved with another woman,” Liz explained to John, through her tears. “They’ve been together for a long time.” She looked at Marshall before she said the rest, but she had to tell him and Marshall didn’t try to stop her. “They have two children, twin girls.” She delivered the coup de grace, and John’s eyes flew open wide.