Practically Perfect (27 page)

‘Then you get in here and be photographed in the bath!’ wailed Anna, knowing no one would listen.

‘You look wonderful,’ said Chloe, openly amused now. ‘Really, that colour does do something for you.’

The photographer, who seemed to be about ten years old, took on the mantle of Mario Testino and began asking Anna to do things with her arms and legs that she was highly reluctant to do, scared as she was of exposing her excess body hair. She stuck a foot over the side and a hand on her ear.

‘No! You look like you’ve got earache! Put it behind your head … Oh, don’t do that then,’ he went on impatiently. ‘How can we make this exciting? I know! More bubbles!’

‘The bath is on its highest setting,’ said Tina. ‘There’s a lovely rolling bubble going on there.’

‘I’m getting cold,’ said Anna grumpily. ‘Can I get out now?’

‘Not till you’ve had your photograph taken,’ said Tina firmly.

‘I’m going to want more than a bloody foot spa,’ muttered Anna. ‘I’m turning into a prune.’

‘Ah! This’ll do the trick!’ said the photographer, picking up one of the luxury bath items that were to be Anna’s reward. He took off the lid and poured a generous quantity into the spa.

‘No!’ shrieked Tina. ‘You’re not supposed to do that!’

The small, energetic bubbles caused by the jacuzzi began to grow and grow. Anna, who felt more covered up now, and was at last used to the cold water, began to feel more relaxed.

The photographer started snapping away enthusiastically. Tina, torn between the profanity of having bubble bath in a jacuzzi and the joy of having such dramatic pictures being taken, which would not only go in the local paper, but might go into the brochure, started to field the bubbles as they came over the side. The crowd was increasing at the same terrifying rate as the bubbles.

‘Perhaps you should turn the machine off,’ called Chloe to Tina, who was still bailing the bubbles back into the bath.

‘That’s a good idea,’ said Anna, and then changed her mind. Suddenly she wanted the mountain of foam to become a Himalaya so she was entirely hidden: in the
crowd
she had spotted Mrs Gordon and an equally Gorgon-like friend. Their expressions of disdain could have frozen the Atlantic – they had obviously never seen anything so vulgar in their lives before. Anna shrank down so she was almost entirely hidden.

‘No, no, you’ll have to sit up a bit,’ said the photographer. ‘I just want one last shot of you, smiling happily in the bath. Think luxury, think – think Kylie Minogue. Stick your leg out.’

Anna couldn’t think Kylie Minogue, she could only think Mrs Gordon, and it didn’t have the right effect on her facial expression. She poked a dubious toe over the side. The nail varnish that had enhanced her strappy shoes was now very chipped.

‘Come on, love, smile!’

Anna did her best. She forced Mrs Gordon out of her head and out of her line of vision and smiled. She put her leg further out; she waved. At least if she recognises me now, she thought, I’m doing something clean.

At last the photographer was happy. Anna was allowed to get out of the bath and be wrapped shivering in a very large bath towel.

Chloe hurried over. ‘I think she deserves lots more presents than that,’ she said, indicating the box. ‘After all, she’s free advertising.’

Anna was still shivering. She returned to the coffin and forced her clothes over her damp limbs. At least her knickers were dry although the ones Tina had given her came off in pellets of disintegrated paper. She went to join Chloe.

‘Well,’ said Tina, hesitating, ‘you do get all these bath products, a luxury brand, a foot spa and half the price off a jacuzzi, if you buy one.’

‘I don’t want a jacuzzi!’ said Anna.

‘Oh, go on!’ said Chloe. ‘It wouldn’t make any difference to the plans, and you’ve got to buy some sort of bath, haven’t you?’

‘Yes, but this one will be probably be more expensive than an ordinary bath would be full price.’

‘If you have this one,’ said Tina, spotting a potential sale, ‘you could have it for less than a third of the original price. We’d sell it cheaper anyway, but as it’s you and because you’ve been such a good sport – well, we’ll practically give it to you.’

‘Oh, that’s a good offer,’ said Chloe. ‘Go on, Anna, you’d be mad not to.’

‘It is a good offer,’ Anna acknowledged. It would save her hunting round for a bath, and having done some quick sums she decided it should fit the intended space very nicely. ‘Are you sure? I could pay for it now.’

While Tina was filling in the paperwork, Anna and Chloe couldn’t help noticing that the bubbles had travelled quite a long way. The plastic sheeting that had been spread to prevent the floor of the marquee getting wet was soaked. There was a mop propped up against a partition and Anna picked it up. Chloe gathered up the soggy newspapers that someone had put down to sop up some of the moisture. Anna was squeezing her mop into a washing-up bowl while Chloe was scooping up water with a dustpan when something made them both look up at the same time. It was Mrs Gordon. She had come back with her friend and was looking over at them, a peculiar expression on her face.

‘Please don’t say anything,’ Anna murmured out of the corner of her mouth. ‘I really don’t want her to recognise us.’

Just as she said this, the demonstrator, who had finally worked out how much the jacuzzi bath was going to cost, said in a loud and jubilant voice: ‘Here you are, Anna.
This
is what you have to pay. Now, you couldn’t get a bath in a local DIY store for as cheap as that.’

Mrs Gordon’s head turned, like a hound scenting its prey. Anna kept her head well down as she went to the desk and fumbled in her bag for her purse but she thought it was unlikely that Mrs Gordon wouldn’t recognise her if she turned up for tea and cakes. And if she did, Anna was done for. Not only had she been caught being utterly ridiculous in public, but she’d bought a very vulgar item, too.

‘Yikes!’ she said to Chloe as at last they could escape. ‘Max’s mother. What will she think of me? Cleaning windows one minute, frolicking in a bubble bath the next!’

‘She may not recognise—’

‘Just take me to the bar!’ Anna exclaimed.

‘But, darling, it’s only eleven-thirty.’

‘I don’t care!’ Anna was already striding purposefully towards the refreshment tent.

As they came out of the bar a little later, they saw Mrs Gordon (who was now indelibly etched in Anna’s mind as Mrs Gorgon) and her friend leave. The elation and the spritzers kicked in at the same time.

‘Come on, Thelma,’ said Anna to Chloe, ‘let’s shop!’

They arrived back at Chloe’s house with enough plastic bags and bits and pieces to satisfy even Chloe’s boys and Mike, who spent a happy time burrowing through them.

‘Do you realise that wallet has fourteen different pockets for you to lose your credit card in?’ Mike said accusingly to Chloe.

‘Yes but it was only a fiver and it’s real leather!’ she protested.

‘And do you really need shoe balm? What’s shoe balm when it’s at home?’

‘You put it on your shoes instead of cleaning them. Look!’ Chloe smeared her husband’s feet with stuff that smelt deliciously of honey. ‘Look how shiny!’

Mike snorted and picked up another bag. ‘What’s this?’

‘A cute little cover for the hoover. It looks like a little mouse in a mob cap.’

‘What? Have you gone mad? When have you ever had time to put a cover on the hoover?’

Chloe bit her lip. ‘I’ll try and give it to someone. I just felt so sorry for the woman selling them. She’d made them and her stall wasn’t exactly thronging with buyers.’

Mike rolled his eyes at Anna who grinned back.

‘Dad,’ asked Tom, regarding his parents. ‘Do you think Mummy’s a nana?’

‘Yes,’ he said definitely, ‘but a kind nana.’

‘And that’s a very good sort of nana to be,’ said Anna. ‘Did you take Caroline out for me?’

‘Yes. We went round and round the common and then to the swings,’ said Mike.

Harry came up to Anna and whispered in her ear. ‘I held her!’

Anna put her arm round him. ‘I expect she liked that very much,’ she whispered back.

Harry ran away again, to play with the toy his mother had brought for him from the fair.

‘Well, I suppose I’d better drag myself away,’ said Anna, an hour or so later. ‘It’s been a great day, Chlo, thank you for taking me.’

‘Thank you for being such a good sport about the jacuzzi.’

‘Well, I might just forgive you,’ Anna said. ‘And I got a spa bath practically for nothing, so I think it was worth it in the end.’

Mike and the boys, who’d been told in lurid and
exaggerated
detail of what had gone on all felt miffed for having missed it. ‘I’d have done a lot to see Anna in the bath, with bubbles, being lucky, like Kylie Minogue.’

‘I don’t think it was generally so well appreciated,’ said Anna, thinking of the Gorgons – Max’s mother and her evil twin.

‘Well, at least you won’t be round ours wanting a bath,’ said Mike, faking grumpiness fairly convincingly.

‘No.’ Anna kissed his cheek. ‘I’m so clean I probably won’t need another bath for days.’

‘Mum,’ Anna heard one of the children say as she went out of the door, ‘if we stay in the bath a really, really long time, does it mean we don’t need another one the next day?’

Caroline, though very pleased to see her, didn’t need any attention, as she had been exercised and fed by Mike and the boys. Anna gave her a biscuit, mentally apologising to Rob as she did so. She knew titbits were bad for dogs, but she was a novice, she had a right to feign ignorance.

Her phone rang as she was taking a cup of tea up to bed. It was Max. Hearing his voice made a happy day perfect.

‘Hello,’ she breathed ecstatically.

‘Hello. I’ve got the date for that private view, if you still fancy it. Otherwise we could do something else.’

Her first thought was that she couldn’t take any more time off, but then she decided she couldn’t turn down a date from Max. ‘I’d love to. When is it?’

‘Thursday week. Will you be able to make arrangements for your dog?’

‘I should think so.’

‘We can make more detailed plans nearer the time but I suggest I meet your train at Paddington and, depending
on
what time that is, we can either go straight to the gallery, or for a quick drink first.’ He paused. ‘Dinner afterwards.’

‘I’d better book a hotel room. That one we stayed at for the reunion was nice.’

‘My guest room would be much more comfortable, not to mention free.’

Anna chuckled. ‘Well, I’ll check it out and then decide. A girl likes to have alternatives.’

He had a very sexy laugh. ‘It’ll be so nice for me to have you all to myself for once.’

Anna felt a frisson of excitement. She hoped she wouldn’t be needing the guest room. ‘You won’t have me all to yourself at the gallery,’ she said. ‘What’s showing?’

‘A new young Brit artist I’m interested in. He’s very good, although I’m not sure he’s to my personal taste. Anything I bought would be more of an investment than something to put on my wall.’

Privately Anna thought it strange to buy pictures you didn’t like just because they’d be valuable one day. ‘Couldn’t you buy something you liked that would be an investment?’

‘To be honest I’ve got no more room for pictures at my flat. You’ll see when you come.’

‘I’m looking forward to it.’

‘So am I, Anna.’

Chapter Seventeen

CHLOE DROVE ANNA
to the station. They spent most of the journey talking about Caroline.

‘Don’t worry, Anna,’ Chloe said for what seemed like the fiftieth time, ‘Mike will take her out last thing, and I’ll have the baby alarm on all night. I’ll hear if anything happens to her.’

‘It’s very kind of you, and I must say I wouldn’t have thought of the baby alarm. Are you sure it’s a good idea?’

‘Absolutely. I’ll know instantly she develops any kind of problem. I’ll probably hear her fart.’

‘Chloe! I know the boys aren’t with you, but there’s no need to let yourself go completely.’

Chloe ignored this. ‘And we’ll take them all out together before school and playgroup tomorrow, probably. It does the boys good to have a run around. Mike will take them.’

‘It’s such a relief Mike is home,’ said Anna, not for the first time. ‘It would be too much to ask otherwise. And I couldn’t have asked Laura during the week.’

‘Most people have parties at the weekend,’ said Chloe.

‘Darling, this isn’t a party! It’s a private view and they’re always during the week. Don’t you know anything?’

‘By the sounds of it, you didn’t know all that much until quite recently.’

Anna laughed. ‘Well, I did know because we used to go to private views when we were at college. Lots of us
had
art student friends. They always wanted to go to try and get talking to an agent.’

‘But you won’t be doing that this time?’

‘I didn’t ever do it before, but no, I expect I will be concentrating on Max.’

The question, ‘Will you sleep with him?’ hung unasked between them.

‘Excited?’ asked Chloe as they pulled into the station car park.