Praying for Grace (13 page)

“We have company,” was all Gus said.

“Gus. I think there’s dead near,” I said quickly.

“Do you sense them?”

“Not exactly.” I looked up at him. “I can’t explain it. Something’s just not right.”

The RV lurched as whoever was driving slammed on the breaks. Katie joined us in the living area. Hoot wasn’t far behind, and he looked mad.

“Some old fucker’s standing behind us, holding a sign,” barked Hoot from the cab. He quickly made his way through the RV and reached for the door.

“Hoot, you can’t go out there,” said Gretchen. “It’s not safe.”

He stepped outside the vehicle, ignoring his sister’s warning. To my dismay, Gus was right behind him.

“Dan, keep Abbey in here,” I said quickly as I rushed after them.

It was near evening and the shadows of nearby trees were long. I knew we were somewhere between Oregon and Washington, but didn’t recognize our surroundings. We were near the mountains again. I could see them in the distance, looming over us with peaks still dotted by winter snow. Spring was almost over and the fields that sat on either side of the road were overgrown with weeds that had gone to seed. I still felt hot in my core and my stomach remained in a knot. I looked around, my instincts telling me that danger was near.

Gus and Hoot both stood in the roadway, facing the stranger who blocked our path.  Their stance was not quite as alarmed as I would have expected, but they were definitely on guard. The man facing us was older than Gus, but it was hard to tell by how much through the grime that coated his face and overgrown beard.  He held a sign up in front of him. It was white cardboard written upon with a black marker.

Please Help
was all it said.

“Zoe, get back inside,” barked Gus under his breath.

“No.”

I heard my lover sigh in frustration.

“Hello there, brother,” said Gus to the stranger. “How can we help?”

The dirtied man immediately relaxed his stance. “I’m trying to get back to my family,” he said. “I could use a ride. Some shelter. A bit of food?”

“You alone?” asked Hoot.

“Aye.” The man spoke with a very slight accent. “It’s just me.”

“We need to get inside. I think the dead are near,” I whispered. My stomach was still trying to tell me something and the heat in my core felt like it was rising.

“Where’re you headed?” asked Gus, who was surveying the surrounding area.

“Mt. Rainier. My wife and I have a house up there. I know she’d have stayed there. I was stuck in Ocean Shores on business when this all went down. It’s taking me far too long to get home.”

“What’s with the road?” asked Hoot, who gestured to the broken concrete and rebar that lay where we had intended to drive.

“Gus,” I urged. “Look.”

I pointed toward a billboard that stood about half a football-field length away. I could tell it had been an advertisement for auto insurance, but now stood weathered and worn. Near the base of the sign were two Roamers, shambling slowly our way. They seemed sluggish and the closer they got the clearer it was that they were well decayed. Shredded flesh hung limply from their arms and faces, the rotten meat swinging as they moved. A lone crow kept landing on one, trying to steal strips of flesh.

“I see them, darlin’. I suggest we get inside. We can talk more as we backtrack to a drivable road. You’re welcome to come with us, but no guarantees we’ll make it to Mt. Rainier,” he said to the stranger.

“Thank you,” the man said as he hurried toward us. “I’m so tired of running” he added.

I backed up toward the RV door, not taking my eyes off of the dead. The closer they got, the worse I felt.

Danny volunteered for the next stretch of driving. The rest of us sat on the two couches, except for the man who had just joined us. He had used a small portion of the water on board to clean up and was sitting at the small dining table, eagerly eating a can of corned beef and hash. We headed west again to circumvent the road block. The man told us that his name was Clark, but didn’t offer a last name. In a world taken over by the dead, things like last names had a way of falling by the wayside. He had been married to his wife, Laura, for thirty-some-odd years. He said that Katie reminded him of her when she was younger. His eyes filled with tears when he spoke about her. I’m sure he knew as well as the rest of us that chances were high that his Laura was dead. None of us spoke much about our journeys before that day. Clark was as in the dark as the rest of us when it came to the cause of the plague that still festered on earth.

“It’s getting dark,” said Clark. “Are you guys planning to drive through the night or find someplace to hide?”

“Haven’t really discussed it,” answered Hoot. “I don’t like the risk of attracting attention by driving at night, and I suppose the engine could use a break.”

“Ayup,” said Gus as he rubbed at his jaw and chin. “I agree.”

“I don’t want to drive into a major city if we can avoid it. Best to just pull off the road and camp for the night,” sighed Hoot.

Clark looked down at his now-empty can of corned beef and hash. His face wore a look of worry. “Sorry I ate the whole thing.” He said. His face was clean shaven now. The skin that had been covered by beard was pale compared to the rest of his tanned face. He looked a lot younger now.

“No worries, friend,” said Gus.

Hoot lazily stood and stretched. “I’ll go let Danny know we’ll be pulling off for a bit.”

Before long, the motorhome slowed and swayed gently as Dan pulled the behemoth off of the road and onto the shoulder.

“Everyone go ahead and take a break,” said Hoot as he and Dan walked back toward the rest of us. “Don’t wander too far.”

We all got up to exit the vehicle, aside from Gretchen.

“Gretch? You ok?” asked Gus.

“I’ll be fine. I’m just tired. I’ll take some Tylenol and lay down for a while.”

“Call me if you need anything, ok?” he said to her.

“I will.” She made her way to the bedroom at the back of the rig.

“Zoe, walk with me for a minute?” asked Gus as he stood.

“Sure.” I stood and walked toward the exit with him.

I ached from head to toe and was more exhausted than I cared to admit to anyone. I took the hand that Gus offered after he stepped down to the ground. The evening air was cool. Gus kept my hand in his and we began walking away from the RV. The paved road was filled with weeds that were clutching at any crack they could find. Mosquitos buzzed nearby and the noise made my skin crawl.

“There’s nowhere safe, is there?” I mumbled.

I could feel his eyes on me as we walked. It took a moment for him to reply.

“If there is, we’ll find it, darlin’.”

He squeezed my hand gently to reassure me.

“I think I felt them earlier, Gus. The dead, I mean. It was like my insides were on fire.”

“So not in your head like before?”

“No. Except I’m really tired now, which always used to happen after I felt them in my head.”

“Let’s go sit,” he said as he pulled me toward the barrier on the side of the highway.

We sat side by side and I leaned against him, enjoying the close moment. He wrapped an arm around me and sighed softly. A bird flew overhead. It wobbled in the air as it fought the wind that was blowing.

“Looks like a storm’s headed this way,” I said as I pointed to dark clouds that were rolling in from the north.

“Ayup. We’ll get back inside before it hits us here.”

The others were pouring out of the RV and stretching.

“Do you think this Clark is ok? I mean safe?” I asked.

“He seems pretty down to earth. I think he’s alright.”

“Think there’s any chance his wife is waiting for him at their house?”

I felt him shrug. “I’m sure chances are slim, but any chance is worth holding onto.”

“I hope she’s alive,” I muttered.

“Me too darlin’, me too.”

I stood and turned to face Gus. He took my hands in his and looked up at me.

“I’m afraid for this baby,” I said out of the blue.

He squinted his eyes at me a bit. “Talk to me.” He could keep his deep voice so calm, it amazed me.

I lifted my t-shirt enough to show him my belly, which was already rounding, showing signs that I was carrying a child. “Do you see it?” I asked.

“I see beautiful you. What am I looking for?”

“Where the green lines used to be. They’re back, but they’re white.”

He traced one of the faint white lines in my skin. “I think they’re just stretch marks, babe.”

“No. My stretch marks are different. Molly hardly left any, and the ones I have are just on my hips.”

“These may just be new ones starting,” he sighed.

I put my hand over his, which was still touching the flesh of my belly. “No. These are where the green lines were before.”

“Ok. We’ll watch things carefully.” He didn’t seem worried.

I turned when I heard footfalls coming toward us, crunching noisily in the gravel. Katie wore a look of worry upon her slender face.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said. “Gretchen seems really sick. I’m worried.”

Gus stood and hung his head, one of his hands rubbing at the back of his neck. “She lost the baby, Katie.”

“She was crying when I left her just now. She seemed like she was in pain.”

“I’ll go check on her.” He stood and started walking back to the RV.

“I’ll be in soon,” I said, letting his hand slide from mine.

“Mind if I wait out here with you?” asked Katie.

I looked at her and could tell that she was worried about Gretchen. “Sure. No problem.” I looked down at my feet and gently used the toe of my right shoe to roll gravel around, halfway burying an empty and faded Doritos snack pack that someone had long ago tossed.

“I’m really sorry about Boggs,” she said. “He was right behind me…” she trailed off.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. Talking about him this soon was too tough.

“He was a good guy.”

I looked up. “It’s a bit too hard to talk about,” I admitted.

“Sorry.”

Our heads both whipped around to face the motorhome at the same time. A gunshot had pierced the quiet of the night, followed by a scream of pure rage. I knew it was Gus, even though it was unlike any sound I had ever heard him make. On some level deep down I already knew that he had found Gretchen dead. His screams echoed my own the day I thought he had shot himself. My feet felt heavy as I ran toward the RV. The others were also running back now: Dan and Clark from the other side of the road and Abbey from behind us. I could hear Gus’ cries through the metal sides of the motorhome. “No, Gretchen, no…”

My instinct was to get to him as fast as I could, so I scrambled to the door. “Gus!” I yelled.

“Keep her out,” he moaned. “Zoe, stay out!” His words were mixed with a combination of heaving, spitting, and deep despair.

I ignored his warnings and reached for the door handle, pulling it open toward me. Gus was leaning forward with his hands on his knees, a shotgun on the floor near his feet. He was vomiting violently, the contents of his stomach mixing with blood that had pooled on the floor.

“Get out!” he screamed, half choking on his own vomit.

I hoisted myself up, vaguely aware of someone close behind me.

“What is it?” I demanded.

Gus half stood there, bent over, wiping vomit from his mouth, and trying to catch his breath. His face had gone pale white and his eyes were bloodshot and glistening with tears.

“Get out!” he screamed at me.

I knew he was trying to spare me some sort of pain, but his tone still cut deep. Our eyes locked for the briefest of moments before he looked away, apparently unable to bear looking at me. I stepped forward hastily, falling forward as my balance was interrupted by a hand grabbing at my lower leg from behind. I ignored Danny’s pleas for me to stop and kicked to get away from him, eventually finding my feet again. As I stepped close to Gus, prepared to push him aside, I saw the full extent of the blood. It splattered him, the walls, ceiling, floor, and furniture. Lying in the threshold to the small bedroom was Gretchen’s fallen body, twisted and mutilated by the shell from Gus’ gun.

“Oh God,” I moaned. “What happened to her?”

“Zoe, you need to get out,” said Gus sternly. “Now.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I barked. I didn’t want to be mean, knowing that Gretchen was gone, but his trying to shield me from seeing her was out of line. I had seen so much worse. If anything, he should be crying on my shoulder for comfort at losing his friend. I knew he had a special bond with her, but his love for me should be what he was running toward. My mind raced as the interior of the RV grew extremely quiet. Why was it so quiet? Something was wrong, something far worse than what I was looking at. I turned and looked at Gus.

“Where’s my baby?” I spat. He kept his eyes on the floor. “Where is he, Gus? Where’s Emmett?”

I stole a quick glance at Danny, who stood blocking the exit. Katie was right behind him, trying to see in. Without hesitating, I walked straight toward Gus, who barely moved his eyes from the floor. As I began to step past him, he held an arm out to restrain me. He was nearly as wide as the aisle way, and much stronger than me.

“So help me God, let me go!” I growled as I struggled to get past him.

His arm went slack, causing me to nearly fall forward. With each step I took toward the cab, I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my head. I could hear my own breathing. I could hear Gus moaning quietly from despair. Aside from that, all remained silent. We had been keeping Emmett on the end of one of the couches, and I went toward the small bundle that rested there now. I held my breath as I got near enough to touch him. I watched for a moment. I was hoping he was just sleeping, and my breath finally released when the blankets rustled ever so slightly. I reached forward to pick him up, ignoring anyone who might be behind me.

“Don’t,” I heard Gus say, sounding as if he were far away.

I ignored him and placed my hands upon the tiny bundle. I knew something was wrong. He was too quiet, not crying. He should have been crying after all the commotion and noise. His blankets weren’t right. Whoever had covered him with a dirty blanket should be ashamed, I thought to myself. His head was covered. I moved the blanket aside, revealing his tiny body. I felt my mouth quiver as my hands stilled and hovered over him. He was naked aside from a sagging diaper and a single tiny sock on his left foot. His skin was coated in blood, as was the couch cushion beneath him. He was face down and struggling to turn his head toward me. The grunts he made were unlike any human noise I had heard before. Even when Molly had woken up hungry after she died, she hadn’t sounded this…evil. The sounds from around me became more apparent. Katie was crying and someone was sniffling. I knelt down on the floor and lightly touched Emmett’s back. He was so very cold. My touch sent him into a frenzy.

I did the only thing I could think of. I sang to him.

“You are my sun-shine, my only sun-shine. You make me hap-py, when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sun-shine away.”

I hung my head and felt his dead body wriggle beneath my hand. He was so innocent and didn’t deserve this.

“Gus, hand me a knife,” I said as calmly as I could. When he didn’t respond, I looked up to see who was closest to me. Dan. He only met my eyes briefly before nodding once. He walked quietly toward me and knelt beside me.

“I’ll take care of him,” he whispered.

“No. I need to be the one.”

“You sure?” He put one of his hands on my shoulder.

I nodded.

Within seconds a small hunting knife was in my hand

“Can everyone step out?” I asked. “I need to do this alone.”

Quietly, my companions left the RV and shut the door behind them. And then we were alone, just me and the baby who had been born into this world only to die a terrible death. The sound of Gus yelling and cursing outside mixed with the snarls coming from the baby. I gently turned Emmett’s cold body over so that he was facing up.

“What did Gretchen do to you, baby boy?” I whispered so quietly that it was nearly inaudible.

His soft baby belly had been torn open viciously, loops of bowel and organs protruding. There was so much blood that had pooled beneath him. He kicked his tiny legs at me, his pudgy baby fists desperately searching for me. I knew he didn’t want my comfort. He simply craved my flesh, as any living dead would. It wasn’t his fault. His lips, which had been full and pink this morning, were now gray and snarling. I placed my hands under his arms and gently lifted him, ignoring the still-wet blood that made his body slick. I held him out from me, struggling to keep hold of him. He looked at me in an eerie way, his eyes void of life and beginning to cloud over.