I barely even stood a chance.
“I’m gonna go try these on, want to make sure they fit,” he said to me, leaving the bedazzled shirt on the shelf and taking a pair of pressed pants instead. I followed behind him, catching the scent of cologne that was being carried my way. I couldn’t help but notice how broad his shoulders were and how strong he looked. I could see so much more of his definition now that his white coat was off. And I started wanting more of it.
Fuck
, I thought as flashes of Eric rushed passed. I pushed them away as far as I could, just focusing instead on Ryan and the way his shoulders moved when he walked. He had such a confidence in his step. It was as though people knew to step aside when he walked, his chest out and pronouncing his dominance. We took a right and walked straight into the hallway holding the dressing rooms.
I took a seat on a lonely, white wooden chair and motioned him to go inside of one of the rooms. His back was just as impressive through his dark black shirt. I noticed his perfectly cut hairline exposing the tenderness at the nape of his neck. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss it, softly at first, then transforming into a hungry aggressiveness that transferred over to the front of his body. I wanted to wrap my lips around him, tasting him. I wanted our bodies to meld together, sweat and heat exchanged in a dance made for two lovers.
“Hey, Emma?”
“Yeah?” I called to him through the dressing room door, trying to calm myself down.
“I’m not sure how these pants are looking,” he asked, cracking the door open slightly. He was shirtless, caught in the midst of changing his top when he realized that his pants wouldn’t zip. I saw the swells that his strong muscles made underneath his powerful form and felt another sudden heat wave come over me. Seeing his perfectly sculpted chest, his tanned skin, his exposed nipples, the paler skin that cut a line across his hips, revealing a tan line underneath. It all sent me close to the edge. I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep doing this without sneaking off and at least pleasing myself.
“I guess my ass was too big,” he said, swinging the door open and spinning around to show that his ass was, indeed, too big. The pants reached only half way up, leaving the rest of his plaid blue boxer briefs exposed.
We both cracked up laughing at the sight. This kid was ridiculous and also incredibly hot. He looked out to make sure no one else was in the dressing room and started strutting towards me. If there were stripper music playing, he would have been perfectly in sync. He stopped in front of me and closed my legs together as he lowered himself down on me, his arms pushing him up against the back wall. I still giggled at the sight but my internal temperature was reaching a fever pitch. A familiar sensation was starting to blur my logic as he grinded the air above me in a way that would make even Magic Mike jealous.
Then suddenly his lips were on mine and everything felt complete. I let out a tiny gasp at the unexpected contact, the suddenness scaring me. But his warm mouth invited mine, lowering my defenses as our kiss grew deeper and deeper. Electricity sparked between us as our tongues danced together, his hands running up through my hand and shifting my head, entering from an angle. My own hands reached up to his strong back as he grabbed me from my waist and hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around his strong core as he carried me to the dressing room, our lips still locked together.
He pinned me to the wall inside the small confines of the dressing room. I pushed up against him and felt his growing excitement through his boxers, the pants now down to his ankles. My hand traveled down and grabbed his package, unable to fit it all in one hand. It throbbed under my grip.
I wanted him so bad.
I explored his strong thighs that lead up to his perfect ass. My fingers ran underneath the waste band of his boxers, feeling the tip of his hardness aimed upwards, ready to please me in ways that I’ve never experienced. I could feel where his wet pre-cum started to drip out in anticipation for what was ahead. My hand slipped in under his boxers and circled around his shaft. I felt it pulse in my grip as I stroked him, not being able to close my hand around his full size.
His hands reciprocated mine and traveled down to my jeans, cupping my ass and pushing me into him. His other hand made a tangled mess in my hair, pulling my head back as his mouth went to work on my sensitive neck. I could feel his hungry tongue making its way across my tender flesh, sending intense shivers all the way down to my wet spot, making it grow wetter and wetter at his touch. I could feel my panties soaked in excitement as his mouth moved down to the front of my neck, making his way to the tops of my breasts. But I needed him. I wanted him.
I started going down, kissing his strong chest, his sculpted abs, his perfect v-muscles. I reached his bulge and kissed his hardness through the boxers, smelling the man that he was. I could feel him aching to be released.
And then a knock on the door.
“Excuse me? What are you two doing?” said an older gentleman from outside, disgust playing into his voice.
I immediately shot up and looked at Ryan, unsure as to what to do.
“I’m calling the mall security,” he said, knocking again on the white wooden door.
“No need! I just wanted a second opinion,” Ryan said, keeping his pants down by his ankles and pressing his throbbing bulge against me. I left kissed his neck as he whispered into my ear, a primal sounding whisper, “if only I could take you, right here.”
I prayed that the man would leave so that Ryan could continue ravaging my body, so that I could squeeze onto his rock hard biceps as he rammed into me, but the old man stayed outside. I could see his loafers from underneath the door and more fervent knocks on the door soon followed.
When were we ever going to be left in peace?!
The walk back to go meet Courtney at the food court was full of giggles and stolen glances, light touches and blushing cheeks. We had sort of cooled down from our time in the changing room, mainly because the old man decided that it was his mission to make sure we didn’t sneak into any nearby bathrooms, so he tagged along behind us, always a few feet away. We decided to go meet Courtney at the food court, who was already probably wondering where we had gone off to. I felt like I was going to my high school prom all over again. Of course, my body was still hot to the touch from our rendezvous and I couldn’t get the thought of Ryan’s excitement out of my head. Just walking next to him was enough to send small electrical sparks run through me. And best of all? I was forgetting about Eric.
Well, forgetting may not have been the best word, but I definitely wasn’t obsessing over him. I was able to lose myself next to Ryan. He made me feel comfortable, more so than the Spongebob snuggie I had back at home. And that says a lot because that snuggie makes me feel super comfortable. He was better than a blanket with sleeves.
“There she is,” I said, waving over at Courtney. We took a seat at her small table, our giggling still in full effect.
“Hi, I’m Courtney,” she said, putting her hand forward with a smile, breaking the spell we had over each other.
“Hey, Ryan,” he said, returning her handshake. I was pretty sure he could fit two of Court’s hands in his and still have room.
“You’re the doctor that saved her life, huh? Knight in shining armor?” she asked, lifting a fork of Cajun chicken with a mischievous smile. I already saw the matchmaking game she was trying to play. I tried giving her a subtle shake of my head to stop her from sticking her foot in her mouth, but she didn’t pay attention. Her eyes were locked in on Ryan, trying to read his body language.
She didn’t know I was already all over that body language.
“Well I wouldn’t say a knight,” he said, trying to brush off the fact that he did save my life. Or at least saved me from some permanent brain damage which would have been really shitty. Either way, he saved me.
I rolled up a piece of a napkin and threw it at her, landing in the styrofoam plate she had already scraped clean.
“Court likes to exaggerate some things.”
“I would never,” she said in an exaggerated, soap opera way. Ryan laughed at her antics, a big billowy laugh, like he was genuinely enjoying his time with us.
Good, that eased my fears that they maybe wouldn’t have gotten along.
My eyes wandered around the mall while Courtney chatted up Ryan. Something about Jason and how she swore he was a Gemini by their astrological chemistry. I don't know, I never really paid much attention when Courtney would bring up the whole horoscope stuff.
Underneath the table, Ryan's knee rested against mine, his slightly jumping up and down as his leg bounced on the ground. Mine stayed still, afraid to break the small physical connection we shared in secret.
“So what’s the craziest shit you’ve seen come into the hospital?” my best friend asked, her morbid curiosity getting the best of her.
Ryan answered after a moment to think, “Well, there was this one woman who stuck a whole hamster ball up her, well you know.”
“Holy shit, that is kinky! Wait… was the hamster still inside?” She just had to ask, didn’t she?
Ryan didn’t even answer. He just nodded his head in a way that said it all.
“Oh that is just seriously fucked up.”
“Poor hamster,” I said, suddenly picturing what that little creature must have gone through after being stuffed up a woman’s little creature. I had to shake off the image, feeling my breakfast start creeping its way back up.
“We couldn’t save him,” Ryan said, as though it were his job to save every life under the sun. His compassion was almost as hot as his penis.
Almost.
Just as I started imagining his penis again, something from across the food court caught my eye. It was a cap, one that I had seen plenty of times before. I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I was having some sort of post-traumatic vision. But I wasn’t, and it was the hat I had seen hundreds of times before. It was a nike hat with the checkmark reversed and tie-dyed, a hat that I knew only one person had, and that person was Eric.
My blood ran cold as I tried to make out more of the man’s features, but he was far and the hat was pulled down, covering his eyes. Yet his body. It was built just like Eric’s. What the hell would he be doing here though?
Shopping, duh.
But Eric hated shopping. In fact, he detested the mall so much that he always shopped online for the both of us. I didn’t want to say anything and scare Courtney, but I needed to get a closer look. It was weird but I felt like I needed to know that he was ok, even from afar.
“I’m going to run to the bathroom,” I said, excusing myself and walking at an angle towards Eric. I didn’t want him to see me coming. Well, I didn’t want him to see me at all actually. I tried to blend myself in with crowds of families that tried to look for an open table, jumping from one set to another, always keeping my eyes on the figure sitting down all by himself.
Finally, he lifted his head up as I was close enough to see and my blood ran cold. Underneath the protection of the cap was Eric, but he looked different. It wasn’t the same Eric. His face was pale and lifeless, his eyes holding an odd intensity in them. His beard was grown out like a homeless man unable to shave in the gym bathroom. I noticed his shirt was also stained with a large red mark, he probably dropped a pizza slice right on his chest and didn’t even care to change.
I suddenly wanted to go to him and make him better. I felt like this was all my fault. And then I had to remind myself that it was Eric who crossed that unforgivable line, not me. I watched him as he realized I was no longer sitting with Court and Ryan. He looked around, a little panicked, and quickly got up, keeping his head down as he rushed off towards the mall exit. The whole time I stood there, camouflaged with the other mall folk, watching his shifty behavior from afar. I saw him disappear out into the parking lot, his head bowed down the whole time.
I walked back to the table, still confused at what I had just seen. Ryan asked if everything was ok and I just nodded it off and smiled. I wasn’t going to bring up my baggage for Ryan to know about, this was something I had to figure out on my own.
I just had no idea what I saw. Or who I just saw.
We didn’t stay at the mall for much longer since Ryan’s shift started shortly after. We parted ways, but not before Ryan held me in a hug that lasted a little longer than the average hug. I felt the heat radiating off his body, even through the thin layers of clothes between us, and wanted to stay with him. I knew that just by being around him, I could cope with whatever was ahead of me.
But Ryan had to go save lives and I had to go save myself.
By myself.
Another week passed when I got the text message that would change everything. I was sitting on Courtney’s couch, catching reruns of the Maury show while I waited for my next class. I munched on some cinnamon toast crunch while I found out that he was, in fact, the father. The whole crowd erupted into boos, berating the man for having five other girlfriends and one boyfriend on the side. I wondered if I was a bad person for admiring his juggling skills. Apparently, he had been doing this for years, which I found pretty impressive that no one else noticed. Yeah, he was scum but at least he was talented scum.
“Ugh, I already saw this episode,” Courtney said, throwing herself down on the other end of the couch. Of course she would have seen the episode.
“What kind of person recognizes Maury reruns?” I asked, wondering how often my best friend actually left her apartment. Her skin was getting tanner so I knew she was stepping out of her cave for food at least, or her half Cuban heritage could have been kicking in.
“The awesome kind,” she said, reaching into the cinnamon toast crunch box and grabbing a handful.
“So what ever happened to Dr. Tight Ass?” Courtney asked, snatching the remote and changing the channel to a documentary on meerkats.