Pretend Married (A Billionaire Love Story)

W
hat could
his personal crisis be now?
!?

I had just started my morning run in Golden Gate Park when my almighty boss texted me with yet another “public image problem”. Another perfectly good Saturday morning lost. He always made it sound so urgent:

Julia I need you to get down here immediately! Hurry!

When was he going to start handling his own problems?

Although, I suppose if he did, I’d be out of a job!

Still, something about him blowing up my phone at all hours bothered me. Did it ever occur to him that I might have plans? A life? A date?

I instantly answered my own question: It never occurred to him, because I didn’t have plans, a life,
or
a damn date. I couldn’t seem to find one
good
single man left in San Francisco……so here I was about to spend the day with a
bad
one. Duty was calling, and Julia Jones was going to answer. Giving up on my jog through the park, I turned and mad my way up the street to the bus stop instead.

Three more ‘urgent’ messages pinged my phone, demanding that I arrive as quickly as possible. I’m not sure how he expects me to “immediately” get clear across the
entire
city when I was at the mercy of public transportation. It was a twenty-minute bus ride just to get over to the BART station! I waited on the bench for the number 5 bus, more than a little steamed because that rich billionaire jackass could
easily
pay a car service to come and pick me up. Shit, he could drop a private helicopter on my doorstep if he wanted!

The bus lumbered up to the curb and the door sprang open. I flashed the driver my transit pass and took the only available seat left – next to an old Chinese woman with a 4-foot tall chunk of bamboo perched on her tiny lap. On a better day I might ask if she owned a panda, or speculated about the profitability of bamboo delivery services, but I wasn’t in the mood. I was used to this sort of thing; just another typical ride on the city bus!

I quickly hopped off at the Civic Center subway station and was instantly stopped dead in my tracks. I had run smack-dab into a crowd of angry protestors shouting and blocking the entrance with their picket signs. I somehow managed to sneak around and squeeze past a real mean-looking guy who was waving a barndoor-sized sign that said SFPD UNFAIR. I ran down the escalator to the platform just in time to see my train pull away. Shit! I’d have to wait 10 minutes for the next one. My phone buzzed in my bag alerting me to yet another text. I pulled it out and read it. It was from HIM of course.

Where the fuck are you Julia?!

I decided to ignore it for the moment…….

The next train was packed to the brim with passengers and I had to stand for the entire ride while holding onto the dirty dangling strap above my head. Upon exiting, I elbowed my way through the crowd and climbed the underground stairs, taking them two at a time, upward toward daylight and out onto Montgomery Street.

In the heart of the city, the impressive hi-rise Armani Building loomed over me and blocked out the sun. Hesitating for a minute to catch my breath, I looked up at the top row of windows in the modern office tower. That’s where Mr. Edward Armani III was probably staring impatiently at his solid gold Rolex watch and wondering what was taking me so long………

Oh my God! I almost forgot! I still needed to get his damn stupid coffee!

I raced inside the lobby and got in line at the Starbucks counter. Was there ever NOT a line?! I ordered his venti latte exactly the way he liked it; with an extra shot of espresso and a whisper of cinnamon. I prided myself on paying extraordinary attention to every minute detail of his life. If only I did the same for my own! Holy Moses! I suddenly looked down at my outfit and realized I wasn’t even
close
to being professionally dressed for work at the prestigious downtown office. I was wearing spandex workout clothes and neon running shoes! Mr. Armani was just going to have to deal with it. It was
his
fault for ordering me to dash in here on a Saturday with only a moment’s notice.

Although I hated to admit it, Edward Armani had a very disconcerting way of keeping me on a short leash. Every time I began to feel it loosening up a bit, inevitably I’d find myself at his heel once again. Why did I put up with it? Why did I leave my promising position with a top law firm for this kind of degrading treatment?

I was on a fast track up the legal career ladder at Friedman & Sons but my student loans were eating me alive and there was no way in hell I was ever going to be able to move out of my brother’s apartment if something didn’t change... Working for Mr. Armani was supposed to be my ticket up the ladder. Armani lawyers earn six times what they were paying me at Friedman & Sons. I thought I could impress someone and get a spot on their legal team.

So far, that felt like a pipe dream.

Edward
had
to know how hard I worked my ass off for him. I was the best damn publicist and legal counsel he could ask for. His public image was my baby and I nurtured and tended to it with all the painstaking and meticulous care of a new mother. I was certain the day would come when he would finally notice and appreciate the depth of my dedication and loyalty.

And maybe he would realize that I saw him as
more
than just a boss…

The glass elevator whisked me straight up to the top floor of the building and the doors parted open into the hallway of the posh Armani executive offices. I darted out of the elevator, careful not to spill a drop of Edward’s coffee, and ran into his sprawling suite through the double oak doors. I was immediately taken aback by the fact that there was no sign of him. Where was he? I thought for sure he’d be dramatically pacing back and forth in his usual display of outrage because I’d kept him waiting for more than five minutes. I was very familiar with that ploy; Guilt-trip 101. I suddenly noticed the door to his private inner office was shut. That was definitely strange…….

Before I could knock, the door was flung open by a half-naked woman. The tiny swatch of fabric she wore as a “dress” was hiked up in the back and falling open in the front. Our eyes met and she gave me a viciously angry looking stare as she stormed past.

Beyond her, Edward was sitting on the edge of his massive desk sporting a billion dollar smile.

T
he look
on Julia’s face told me I was in for another one of her blistering lectures. I smiled at her because I actually relished the thought. I hadn’t met a woman yet whose anger wasn’t a complete turn-on to me. I delighted in the way their eyes flashed with fury! And the sizzling emotionally charged body language that usually accompanied their wrath was all too appealing! Ms. Julia Jones was no exception. Feigning innocence would only fan the flames of Julia’s smoldering temper. So of course that’s exactly what I did……..

“Is there anything wrong Julia? You seem upset about something…” I asked as she stepped into my office.

“Upset? Of course I’m upset! How can you
even
ask me that Edward? Stop playing games and wipe that stupid lipstick off your neck!”

Julia set my coffee down and handed me a tissue from her purse.

“Games? Where is this coming from all of a sudden? What are you talking about?”

“You know damn well I’m talking about the slutty half-naked girl who just ran out of here clutching her tits!”

“I was interviewing that outstanding young woman for a very important position with the company. Her qualifications are quite remarkable, but she seemed to think she could fill a
different
position...”

There it was……….. Right on cue…... Julia’s emotions were flaring in the usual hot fucking way! She was spectacularly sexy in her rage! Countdown….. 3..2..1…….. And there IT also was…….the rush of blood to my dick! If she only knew the real depth of my depravity!

“’Bent over your desk’ isn’t a position you need to be filling right now!” Julia shouted angrily.

“I couldn’t agree more… In case you didn’t notice from the way she ran out of here, I told her I wasn’t interested,” I replied, laughing. “
That
position is already filled.”

I reached out to grab her by the arm but she wasn’t finished with me yet. She angrily pulled away and her dark hypnotic eyes flashed with fury.

“You think this is a laughing matter? Really Edward? Your grandfather is denying you the company because he doesn’t want to leave his legacy to an immature playboy. All he does is lay around in a hospital bed watching you make an ass out of yourself on the news three days a week. He’s already warned you about cleaning up your act!”

As I watched her shake her head in bewilderment, I knew she was right. But hey, shit happens for Christ’s sake! I took a long drink of the coffee Julia had angrily placed on my desk.

Mmmmmm…….perfect. Julia
always
knew exactly the way I liked it…….

“You’re right, Julia. What would I do without you?”

“Will you please just cut the crap and tell me what the hell you needed me here on a Saturday for? I raced downtown figuring I have some sort of damage control, but while I was packed into a smelly crowded subway train, you were too busy examining Miss Goodbody’s ‘remarkable qualifications’ to give a rat’s ass about your own future!”

“My problem
is
urgent! And if you’d calm down, I’ll tell you about it!”

Julia rolled her eyes in disgust and folded her arms across her very voluptuous chest, impatiently awaiting my answer. “Alright, tell me what you did
this
time.”

“Well around eight this morning when I was….”

“Wait a minute. Eight
this
morning? Weren’t you at the opening ceremonies for the new children’s hospital at 8AM?”

“Yes if you’ll let me finish……”

“Oh God how the hell did you manage to screw up at a children’s hospital?!?”

“I’m trying to tell you but as usual
you’re
doing all the talking!”

“I’m not sure I even want to hear this!”

“Well there was this nurse and she…..”

“Oh c’mon! You and a pediatric nurse? In a children’s hospital? How could you? Don’t you have an ounce of self-control anywhere in your entire body?”

“No Julia! Now you’re jumping the gun again! It wasn’t like that at all. Nothing happened! I swear!”

“I’m supposed to believe ‘nothing happened’
twice
in one morning?”

“You know me well enough to know when I’m lying. It’s not my fault the damn papers labeled me the most eligible billionaire bachelor. Nothing happened Julia. Absolutely nothing!”

“If nothing happened, then what is the big emergency? Why did you call me down here on a Saturday morning? I thought there was some sort of crisis?”

“There is definitely a crisis. The paparazzi at the event took some pictures that could be……. a bit awkward……and misconstrued…..”

“Pictures?! Jesus Christ Edward! Pictures?!”

“I told you I didn’t do anything!
She
was trying to seduce
me
! Seriously! I did nothing to encourage it. I never told her to take off those goddamned animal print scrubs. That was 100% her idea! I was totally against it!”

“Please stop! I don’t want to hear anymore of your idiotic nonsense! I need you to be quiet so I can think about the best way to spin this before the press does. Shit! I can’t have your grandfather seeing this on the 5 o’clock news! I’m probably gonna have to call in a few favors in order to save your ass this time….”

Julia looked furious, but I watched as my brilliant publicist instantly took charge of the situation. The wheels were in motion now as she diligently began working on my latest public relations problem, ignoring my presence entirely as she made phone call after phone call on my behalf. That’s what she did best. She took care of me. She seemed unusually worried, but I wasn’t; my future was secure in her extremely capable hands.

“I love watching you work,” I said, interrupting her flow.

Her most recent call came to a screeching halt as she turned to me and tossed the cellphone back into her purse.

“You love watching me work? Really? Do you think I want to be doing any of this? It might already be too late Edward. You’re trying really damn hard to screw everything up. You’re going to lose your company, your inheritance, and all the damn good you could have done in this world with that kind of money and power.”

“Does this always have to be about money? I appreciate your concern but there has to be more to life than just trying to cover my ass all the time while trying to get my grandfather’s fucking approval. It’s starting to get pretty fucking tiresome.”

“Excuse me? Did I hear Mr. Richie Rich say money isn’t everything? Don’t make me laugh! It’s easy for you to say that because you’ve never had to live without it!”

“You’re wrong about that. There are some things in life that are more important than money. I don’t know how the hell I can make you understand that!”

That did it. I could see the fire raging in her eyes once again. My dick throbbed in anticipation.

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course money is everything! You can’t do a damn thing in this world without it! Everything we do requires money and you know it!”

I grabbed her wrists and pulled her toward me.

“If that’s true…” I whispered, bringing my lips dangerously close to her ear.

“Do we
fuck
because I have money?”