Authors: Misty Dawn Pulsipher
Your friend,
Gianna Darcy
Beth's
eyes stung and she could barely make out the loopy scrawl through the rapidly
gathering tears. When she finally put the letter down, sobs ripped
through her and she crumpled on the floor. Her heart had almost stopped
when she saw Jaxon's name on the page, but somehow when Gianna had started
describing the easy-going object of her affection, she had known.
William's parting behavior suddenly fell into place, and the things he had said
to her made sense, even if they were stingingly unkind. She could
understand why he would be enraged by the idea of her kissing Jaxon.
Jaxon had taken advantage of Gianna; ripped her young body and taken something
precious from her that she could never get back. He had left Gianna
scarred for life, and walked away unscathed himself. And Beth had let him
touch her. Her stomach began to churn.
As
steadily as she could manage, Beth got up and wrenched her window open to let
the spring air in, gulping it in by the lungfuls. The old Beth would have
dismissed Gianna and her story right off. But now she didn't trust
herself on first impressions. Her initial judgment of William had
obviously been wrong. She'd concluded as much when she'd stopped fuming
about their argument several weeks ago. And her assessment of Jaxon had been
wrong too. Why else would he stand her up? What did he have to fear
from seeing William if the tale he'd spun Beth had any merit? And didn't
Gianna's very predicament prove his guilt?
Beth
felt like an invisible hand was slowly crushing her in its grip. Soon
there would be nothing left of her. Falling on her bed, she gave herself
over to grief for Gianna, for losing William, and for her own stupidity.
She cried long and hard, until she was too exhausted to do it anymore. It
seemed like an eternity that she sat on her bed in silence afterward, watching
her room gather the darkness from outside and draw it around her. When
her room was black but for the sliver of light coming under her door, she
stood.
As she
emerged from her room the neon lights of the kitchen assaulted her swollen
eyes. Jenna and Les sat at the kitchen table, talking quietly. They
looked up when she entered, and Jenna rushed to her, putting an arm around her
and steering her to a chair. Les put a hand on her other shoulder.
After
a stretch of silence, Beth spoke, her voice stinging her throat as it rasped
out.
"How
long have you guys known?"
Les
spoke first. "I knew about Gianna's situation, but I didn't know
Jaxon was involved until the night of the Winter Ball."
Jenna
piped up. "Les just told me today that William went home to help
Gianna - you know, with her recovery and the adoption process.
That's all I know. What's Jaxon got to do with it?"
Beth
felt angry at Les for not telling her sooner, but she was relieved that Jenna,
at least, appeared to be just as clueless. More so, it seemed. Beth
cleared her throat, but only managed a whisper. "Here, read
it." She handed Jenna the letter.
Jenna
sat back in her chair and began reading, devouring Gianna's words with a
ravenous expression on her face. Beth rubbed her forehead and let her
head drop back into her hands.
"I
told him you needed to know, Beth," Les informed Beth while Jenna read
on. "If I'd have known he was going to botch the whole thing, I
would've handled it myself."
"It's
okay, Les. I understand why you couldn't tell me. I even understand
why William didn't want to tell me. And after he found out about me and
Jaxon……I don't blame him. It doesn't matter now, anyway. It's
over." Beth felt any lingering light within her fade to blackness,
just like the daylight in her room had surrendered to the dusk.
"He
feels terrible, you know," Les mused gently. "He's not quite
sure how to make it right."
"He's
talked to you about it?"
Les
smiled ruefully. "He tries not to. He just asks how 'everyone'
is, and I know he means you."
Hearing
that William still cared should have given her outlook an optimistic
tint. Instead, it made her feel less worthy of anything that approached
forgiveness. After all, she had called Gianna
spoiled
. Les
could say that William wanted to make things right, but Beth remembered the
revolted look on his face when he accused her of having Jaxon's lips all over
her. He'd never get over that, even if he wanted to, even if it wasn't
true. And Beth wasn't sure she could ever get over the things he had said
to her that night either.
Beth
stood suddenly, feeling claustrophobic and needing to be alone. "I'm
going for a walk. I'll see you guys later."
THE REPLY
"There
were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed."
~Jane Austen, Pride
& Prejudice
William
took a long swig of his water bottle, sweat dripping off his hair and
face. His gray t-shirt was soaked through, and he took it off, throwing
it across the room into his closet. After toweling off the sweat, he
returned to the kitchen to refill his water bottle. Then he noticed the
stack of mail from the last three days cluttering the counter.
The
last few weeks he had thrown himself into a rigorous workout routine at the
gym, and as Gianna had gone away for a girls' weekend with some friends, the
household upkeep had suffered slightly. Maybe he should call Diosa and
let her know he was ready for her to come back.
Picking
through the mail half-heartedly, he tossed anything that looked like a credit
card application or a life insurance pamphlet in the garbage without opening or
bothering to tear it up. He set aside the grocery adds for Gianna,
shaking his head slightly. For some reason she had been seized by the
urgent need to try new recipes every night, and she had run to the store almost
every day to pick up one or two ingredients they needed. Apparently,
'extreme couponing' was her newest obsession. After shuffling the utility
bills and ads into their respective piles, only a plain white envelope
remained. It was addressed to Gianna Darcy in handwriting that William
was positive he recognized. There was no return address, but the postmark
read Wyoming. He tore it open without feeling the least bit guilty,
curiosity consuming him.
Gianna,
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to
respond. The truth is, I haven't really known what to say. I hope
you are feeling better, physically and otherwise. It's difficult to
imagine you going through all that. You must be a very strong
person. I am glad your big brother was there to get you through. He
loves you very much. He never really liked talking about you, at least
not to me. I don't think he was sure he could trust me with something so
precious to him, and I'm positive he feels that way now, more than ever.
I was immensely grateful to receive your
letter. It filled in all the holes William left behind him. Well,
almost. Now I know why he was so angry at me before he left. He
feels that I betrayed him. I wish he could know the truth, but it really
doesn't matter anymore. I am truly sorry if he's unhappy. I'm afraid
it will just have to pass with time, though. There is nothing I can do to
repair the damage. I've spent a lot of time thinking about everything,
and I'm sure he'd agree that too much damage has been done on both sides.
You were right about the wedding.
Les attacked me for first-hand ring intelligence for Jenna weeks ago. It
won't be long now. My guess is they'll get married in New York; Jenna has
always wanted to go there, and all Les's family is there. If I could
avoid being a part of it, for William's sake and for mine, I would - but as our
closest friends are going to spend their lives together, I guess we'd both
better get used to it. Or get new friends.
At any rate, I do hope I get to meet you
some time. Thank you again for explaining everything. Please don't
let William see this letter. I'm sure he's on the mend, and I wouldn't
want to cause him anymore pain.
Beth
p.s. I think Merry Noel is a beautiful
name for a Christmas baby.
William
set the letter down with a shaking hand, his emotions roiling. He
couldn't decide what he was feeling stronger at the moment: anger toward
Gianna for interfering, or the sharp pain in his chest at the sight of Beth's
handwriting.
~:~
Gianna
struggled through the door, plopping her bags inside with great effort.
It was almost too quiet, and she walked the length of the penthouse, finally
stopping in the doorway to the bonus room. William sat in her cushy
recliner, his elbows propped up on the arms of the chair, his hands folded
under his chin. His face was impassive and his eyes were focused keenly
on her.
"Hey,"
she said uncertainly, approaching him. "Is everything okay?"
"How
was your weekend?" he inquired in a tone of forced cordiality.
"Um,
it was great. I really needed to get out of this place for a few days,
and feel young again. Thanks for letting me go." She bent and
kissed him on the cheek.
His
face softened a tiny bit. "You got some mail while you were
gone."
Gianna
froze. "Oh?"
"Oooooh,
yes." William held a small white letter up, the top jagged from
being ripped open.
"You
opened my mail?" Her indignation was tempered with the anxiety
rising in her stomach.
"I
couldn't resist. See, there are only two people who would be sending you
mail from Wyoming - Les or Kara, and that's not either of their
handwriting. Come to think of it, I think I've seen it before, I don't
know, on her homework or somewhere. Here, read it. Unless you'd
rather I just tell you what it says?"
Gianna
snatched the letter away from him, sitting down on the couch and devouring
it. When she was finished she looked up at her brother, smiling
incandescently.
"You
can wipe the
smirk
off your face now."
"William,
don't you see? She still cares about you too, it's so
obvious.
This is good news! You should be thanking me."
Crossly,
William rose from the chair and strode out of the room into the kitchen,
bracing his hands against the counter. "You never should have sent
her a letter without talking to me first. It was none of your business,
Gi."
"Blah,
blah, blah. Don't be such a drama queen, William. She deserves to
know why you ran out on her. And anyway, it was my information to
share."
"You
went beyond that Gianna, and you know it. You told her I'm not
happy?"
"Well,
you're not! You're stubborn and ornery and you're always staring off into
space, and you work out too much. You're going to look like
the
Terminator
soon."
William
blew out an exasperated breath. "What did you tell her?
Exactly. Everything."
"I
don't remember everything I said, William. I told her about Jaxon and why
you came home. I told her you still loved her and were sorry for being a
jerk, even if you weren't saying it."
"You
said
WHAT?!
" The counter issued an ominous crack, as if it
might snap under the pressure. "I never even told her I loved her,
Gi!"
"Well,
you should have, because it's true. Someone needs to be honest with her,
William. You're my brother and I love you. But you're being an
idiot about this."
William
rubbed his forehead.
"Have
you called her?" Gianna pressed.
"For
crying out loud, Gi. What, exactly, am I supposed to say to her?
'Hey Beth, it's been a while…..thought you should know I can't live without
you……wanna have a double wedding?'"
That
sidetracked Gianna. "Wedding?"
William
sighed. "Les called last night to tell me he's engaged.
They're getting married here in a month."
"So…….?"
"So,
Beth is Jenna's maid of honor."
Gianna
squealed. It was like being handed a bouquet of balloons and a
three-scoop ice cream by your very own clown. "And you're the best
man! Oh, this just couldn't get any better!"
William,
apparently resigned to the fact that he had lost the argument, banged his head
on the counter several times, but Gianna just smiled. A scheme had begun
to take shape in her head, and if she was going to pull it off, she had a lot
of work to do.
SHELLS
"We…..were
exceedingly agreeable, as we did not speak above once in three miles."
~Jane Austen
When
Beth's flight touched down, she finally loosened her grip on the arm
rests. She had never been on an airplane before. In fact, she had
never been further from home than Hartford until now. The takeoff had
been exhilarating, but the descent had left her queasy and her ears wouldn't
pop, upsetting her equilibrium and making her feel heavy and sluggish. Exhausted,
she hoped she would be able to squeeze a rest in before meeting everyone for
dinner. As she followed the other passengers off the plane, Beth
unwrinkled a piece of paper from her pocket, on which had been penciled
step-by-step instructions for getting from the plane to the Bradfords'.
The
plan was to catch a shuttle which took her to some kind of bus depot, where
Jenna would pick her up and take her to Les's to change and deposit her
bags. Jenna had said there was a monitor at the airport that listed all
shuttles and the times they came in. Locating the monitor was pretty
easy; but deciphering the red dots scrolling across it (apparently words), was
another matter entirely.
Another
wave of fatigue broke over her as she squinted at the dots. In her haze
of weariness she almost missed the weight of her duffel being lifted from
her shoulder. A belated sort of alarm gripped her and she whirled,
anticipating a confrontation with some nameless terrorist.
Instead,
William stood before her, tall and somber. His eyes were burning into her
as they always had, though the flame was tempered with gravity.
Beth
snapped her jaw shut, unsure how to react. After opening and closing her
mouth three times she managed, "What are you doing here?"
William
looked down at his shoes, shoving his hands in his pockets. "The
dinner reservations have been changed, and if you take the shuttle you'll be
late. Jenna and Les were going to come get you, but there was some big
catastrophe with the cake, and they had to meet with the wedding
coordinator." He looked back up at her. "So, here I
am."
Beth
tried to smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear nervously.
"Oh. Well, sorry…you…had to come. I'm sure there are a million
other things you'd rather be doing," she said, trying to control the
trembling in her voice.
William
looked at her steadily for a moment, then blinked. "Did you check
any bags?"
"Nope,
this is it," Beth answered, twisting her fingers together. For a
moment, she wished she'd checked luggage - then at least she would've had
something else to do with her hands.
"The
car's this way," William said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.
Beth
nodded, then fell into step beside him. She could feel the heat crawling
from her chin to her hairline. Obviously, she'd known she would see
William at some point - and several times at that. But she hadn't been
prepared for sooner rather than later. Tucking a clump of hair behind her
ear, she dared a glance up at William, and found him watching her with wary
interest. When she raised her eyebrows, questioning him, he looked away
quickly.
"You
cut your hair," he said with a touch of accusation.
Beth
rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're one of those old fashioned
long hair sticklers," she said dryly.
William
chuckled a bit unsteadily. "No, it's just different -" he broke
off awkwardly. "It looks good on you," he finished quietly.
Beth
looked at him for a long time and couldn't think of anything to say.
Resisting the urge to touch her hair again, she quickened her pace.
They
walked the rest of the way to the car in silence, William carrying her duffel
and Beth crossing her arms tightly over her chest. Somehow, she wasn't at
all surprised to see that William's car was shiny, red, and topless.
"Nice car," she commented. "Is it a Porsche?"
William
withered a look at her, popping the trunk to stow her bag. "It's a
Ferrari California," he answered. "Zero to sixty in three point
eight seconds…..four point three liter V8.…." His voice faded when he took
in Beth's obviously blank expression. They stood at the passenger door
now, William looking down at her. "She tops out at one hundred
ninety three miles per hour - or so I've heard," he added virtuously.
"She?"
William
just smirked. "Anything with this kind of punch has to be
female."
Beth
almost smiled, nearly forgetting that she was not on good terms with this
person. No matter how darkly his eyes sparkled while he teased her, she
had no right to be smiling and laughing with him. There was no picking up
where they left off.
After
an uncomfortable moment when their fingers collided as they both reached for
the door handle, Beth stepped back as William opened her door. A moment
later they were speeding toward the restaurant.
They
drove in silence for several minutes before Beth decided she couldn't avoid the
question any longer. She had tried to think of a few different ways to
get the information she needed without actually talking to William,
unsuccessfully. Then she decided they were going to be spending the whole
weekend together, both of them being in the thick of things, and that she had
better just break out the ice pick and let the chips fly.
"So,
do you know what kind of place we're eating at? Do I need to
change?"
William's
eyes took in her shape hugging t-shirt and her faded jeans and sneakers.
Then he looked back at the road. "It's called
Bob's Ribs
& Spuds
and there are peanut shells all over the floor," William
answered, amused. "You're perfect." He flushed red and
set his jaw.
Beth
wasn't sure how to take it. Maybe he meant that it was a white-trash hang
out for loose women. Maybe he just meant that she didn't need to be
dressed up. Maybe he wanted to step on her and crunch her, like a peanut
shell. She looked out the window instead of replying, folding her arms
across her stomach as if her insides were falling out, wondering if she could
possibly be in a more awkward situation.
Several
uncomfortable minutes later, William parked the car against the curb and Beth's
head swiveled in confusion. "They serve food here?" The
question came out more like a statement.
William
smiled the first genuine smile she had seen since he picked her up, and she
found herself staring at his mouth. He didn't seem to notice.
"I never took you for an uptown girl, Beth."
No,
you wouldn't take me at all,
Beth thought miserably.
She looked back out the window and took in the establishment again, trying to
picture barrels of beer, drinks being served in jar-mugs, and rat bait
flooring. The exterior was entirely covered with brown shingles, and
there was a small neon sign flashing out from a dirty window:
BOB'S
B S AND S UDS
. "BS and suds?" Beth read
uncertainly, feeling stupid when she realized some of the letters must be out
on the sign.
William
almost laughed. "Pretty aptly named, I think."
Beth
colored. "Did Les and Jenna choose this place?"
William
eyed Beth, as if he were debating something. "It was suggested that
Jenna's parents might be more comfortable coming here than some fancy
restaurant," he finally offered carefully.
Beth
turned to face him, her scowl deepening. "
Suggested
by
whom?"
"Kara,
I think. His parents didn't want to offend her parents."
Beth
blew out her breath in frustration, letting herself out of the car before
William felt like he needed to get the door. Kara had some nerve.
Even though she was Les's sister, Beth hadn't seen much of her the last few
months. It seemed the reason for her being such an attentive sister had
flown across the country. Beth hadn't missed her in the least.
William
pulled the shack's door open silently, waiting for Beth to go in ahead of
him. The party was seated right up front at a collection of tables that
had been pushed together to form a last supper-type slab. Jenna and Les
rushed over to greet Beth, Les gathering her up in an enthusiastic hug, and
Jenna kissing her on the cheek. Les introduced Beth to his parents, who
sat at the near end of the table, across from Jenna's parents. At the far
end of the table Kara sat with her lofty expression. To Beth's dismay she
saw two empty seats across from Kara, no doubt destined for William and
herself. Kara waved half-heartedly at Beth, an artificial smile painted
on her unnaturally tan face. Beth hugged Jenna's parents as she walked by
them and took her seat, William settling in next to her.
Kara
probably wants a front row seat to the train wreck,
Beth
thought in disgust.
As if
she had been lurking in the shadows, the waitress slinked up to the table and
asked for the drink order, starting with Beth.
"Dr.
Pepper? A big one."
"Mr.
Pibb okay?" the waitress managed through her chewing gum. She had
unnaturally blonde frizzy hair, which had been pulled back in an attempt to
tame it. Her lips had been painted with pasty pink lipstick, and her
t-shirt (which was at least three sizes too small) spelled out SPUD LOVE in
blood red lettering. Her bra was lacy, black, and peeking suggestively
out of her plunging neckline.
"Sure,"
Beth managed when the waitress made an impatient noise.
The
waitress took in William and smiled hugely, revealing a very large gap between
her front teeth. "What'll it be for you, handsome?"
William
ordered ice water, smiling back flirtatiously. Beth rolled her
eyes. The waitress took the rest of the drink orders, walking slowly past
William back to the waitress station. Beth stared at him and he continued
to grin.
Kara,
evidently sensing her own exclusion, leaned across the table with a pouty
expression. "William, where's Gi-Gi? You promised you would
bring her."
Beth
noted that instant annoyance took over his face. Before he could answer,
Kara addressed Beth.
"Gi-Gi
is as good as my sister. I just adore her! She looks up to me so
much."
Beth
had to exert an obscene amount of self-control not to let the disgust she felt
contort her face.
Gi-Gi? Yech.
"
Gianna
really wanted to meet you," William said to Beth, ignoring Kara
completely. "But she had a support group thing tonight."
Beth
didn't know what to say, so she just blinked.
William
stood abruptly. "I forgot - I was supposed to let her know you got
in okay. I'll be right back." Pulling his phone from his
pocket, he stepped outside the front door.
Beth
watched him go, reeling. Gianna wanted to meet her. Beth had known
that - Gianna had said so herself in her letter. But she'd charged her
brother to apprise her of Beth's safe arrival as well. Beth felt an
elusive connection to Gianna, though it was not something she could put into
words, let alone explain to satisfaction.
Beth
was pulled from her thoughts by Kara taking William's empty seat beside
her. "Poor William," Kara crooned. Next she'd be calling
him
'Wee-Wee.'
"He's
so worried about Gianna," Kara continued. "I'm the only one she
trusted with her little secret. The reason she took a year off school and
all." She eyed Beth with a distinct neener-neener expression, and
Beth grit her teeth. No doubt Kara was feeling her out to see if she was
in on the big mystery. But Beth wasn't about to gift wrap her the
satisfaction.
"Oh,
right - Columbia. I heard about that. It must be such an honor to
have an ivy league school like that grab you up before you've even
graduated!" Beth leaned forward eagerly and rested a hand on her
chin in a decided 'let's gossip' posture. When Kara rewarded her with a
stupidly blank expression, Beth popped up out of her seat. "I have
to use the bathroom. Do you want to come, Kara? We could
bond!"
Kara's
eyes widened and Beth dropped the act. "Yeah, me neither," she
remarked dryly, turning away from the table..... and running into William.
He
looked like he was trying not to laugh. How long had he been standing
behind her? Biting her lip to hide a smile, she hurried past him,
peanut corpses crunching underfoot.
A
moment later, Beth stood in front of what she assumed was the bathroom.
"You've got to be kidding me." It was no bigger than one of
those portable bathrooms they have at fairgrounds, and there was a crooked sign
hanging on the door that read
Ye Olde Outhouse
. Pushing it open,
she was relieved to see an actual toilet and not a hole cut into a slivery
plank. She took her time washing and drying her hands at the rusty water
spigot, which you had to manually pump for water. Then she brushed on
some lip gloss and ran her fingers through her hair. William had noticed
her haircut, as she'd known he would. The few times they'd been together
at Hartford, he'd seemed quite interested in her hair. The memory of his
hands tangling in it constricted her heart in her chest.
Knock it off,
she scolded her reflection.
You can't be thinking about all that
now. Keep your head in the game.