I felt my head beginning to nod.
I stopped.
Carl stepped close again. I could see the glitter of the handcuffs as he picked them up from the ground. He watched me intently, brutal desire flickering across his eyes. “I will enjoy it, so much, letting your parents know that you are now mine. I will relish the look on their faces. They are nothing,” he spat. “Nothing. They are crazed, blood thirsty criminals and the great Nation must be rid of them. They are scum. And you…” Carl pressed against me again, his mouth finding mine. His lips pushed painfully against mine, crushing them hard against my teeth. I could feel him smiling against my lips. I couldn’t breathe. My lips throbbed as he pulled away. “You are mine.”
“
No,” I said softly.
Carl’s eyebrows knitted darkly together. “What did you just say?”
Something surged inside me. I could feel it tingle as it coursed through my body, igniting a flame somewhere deep inside that I never knew existed. I straightened my back, standing up tall as my fists clenched at my side.
“
No,” I repeated.
“
How. Dare. You.” Carl spat. He lunged forward, swinging his fist at me. I felt myself jump to the side. It was as if someone else were controlling my body, directing me where to dive and jump as he swung again.
Carl screamed in rage and lunged into me. I dove to the side again, my body screaming in pain as I hit the ground. I could hear Carl slam into the bars above me. Looking up, I watched as he spun around, spitting blood from his mouth. I gritted my teeth, hoping the fire inside would keep burning as I lunged toward him. Without knowing why, I threw out my hand, grabbing his injured shoulder and shoving it back.
It ground under my hand, the injury popping hard as my hand forced further back. Carl screamed, his eyes shutting just long enough for me to reach forward with my other hand and slam the side of his head into the bars. His body went limp. I let go. Stepping back, I watched him slide to the ground, fresh blood pouring from his head. He blinked his eyes in a daze, his hands flailing to find me.
I bent down and picked up the handcuffs. Carl mumbled something, but I tuned it out as I grabbed his wrist and slapped the cuff around it. Stringing the cuffs through the bar above his head, I slapped the remaining one around his other hand. Before backing away, I pulled the ELIS from his belt and tucked it into my pocket. I paused for a moment, my hand resting over Carl’s gun, then removed it from his belt, my fingers wrapped tightly around its handle.
I looked down at him. Carl shook his head, his eyes finally clearing. He jerked his arms hard against the bars, grunting in pain. The bars barely shook. He struggled harder. Finally giving up, he flopped back against the bars, heaving an angry breath.
“
You idiot,” he said coolly, his eyes shut. “You stupid, ignorant Jail Baby. You have no idea what you are doing.”
I stood there, looking down at him. My body shook, the adrenaline that had just coursed through me fading fast. I could feel my head swimming, and clenched my fists harder in the effort to keep my balance. I couldn’t look weak, not now.
Carl shook his head slowly, creeping his eyes open. They hesitated a moment on his gun, now held tightly in my hand, before rising to meet mine. His eyes were full of nothing but hate. “Look at you. You were stupid Dr. Eriks’ pride and joy. So good, so perfectly perfect. A perfect example for the future. She had it all planned… Now, look at you.” He spat, blood splattering across the ground near my feet. “You are just like them. You are scum, just like them.”
“
No, I am not,” I said, carefully and slowly. “I am no one but me. My parents didn’t decide who I am. This Nation didn’t decide who I am. And you, you sure as hell will never decide who I am.” I bore my eyes into his, making sure he heard every word I said.
“
I am free.”
I turned and walked to the door. Carl started struggling against the cuffs again. I could hear him behind me, screaming so loud it vibrated the walls around me. I didn’t look back. I didn’t even pause. Opening the door, I stepped out and pulled it tightly shut behind me.
The door clicked shut, and Carl disappeared.
Part Three:
HAPPINESS
23
I
stood with my back against the door, the gun cool in my hand. I should have been shaking. Tears should have been streaming down my still sore cheeks. Instead, I stood tall, my body calm and still. For a moment, just a moment as I had stared into Carl’s eyes, I had thought of pulling the trigger. I could feel the hunger for the satisfaction of the crack of ammunition, the shock on his face, the end of his hunt. Even now, standing outside with the ocean air in my lungs, I could taste that hunger.
I didn’t pull the trigger. I didn’t even aim. I was better than that. The gun remained cold in my hand, barely held by my steady fingers.
I breathed in deep, tasting the light salt in the air. In the distance, behind the menacing Wall, I could hear the crash of the waves on the hidden shore. It beat back and forth, life’s rhythm writing a new song in my mind. My head felt clear. I felt like the only person left in this locked away world, mere steps away from the freedom I never thought could exist.
I knew I shouldn’t be alone. I knew someone should be standing next to me, his hand protectively holding mind. Something was missing… My mind kicked into overdrive, suddenly remembering everything that had just taken place.
“
Reed!” I yelled, pushing off from the door.
I turned down the street, running as fast as I could. The air was still crisp, stinging my lungs with the taunt of morning as I gasped in desperate breaths. My feet pounded the pavement, barely noticing the rocks and rubble that they stomped as I sped forward.
I ran forever. In my mind, I thought I would never stop running. I would forever be gasping in the chilling air, my legs and feet forever pounding the earth, and I would never reach Reed. I could feel panic burn in my mind, the urgency pushing my feet harder than before.
Ahead of me, I saw Oscar’s yellow truck.
“
Reed!” I screamed again, my voice raw from the desperate gasps of air. I could see him lying near the truck, still slumped to the ground where we had left him. He wasn’t moving. “Reed! Reed, Reed, Reed!” I called his name over and over, my voice beating with the waves of the hidden ocean.
He groaned.
I skidded to a stop next to him, falling to my knees.
Reed stirred again, another groan escaping his lips. He blinked his eyes open, shooting a hand up to cradle his head. Scooping my arms around him, I pulled him into a sitting position. He leaned heavy against me, blinking his eyes over and over as if unable to believe that he was actually awake.
“
Reed, are you alright?” I asked, running my hands over his head. I could feel a large lump where Carl’s gun had made contact. As my fingers brushed it, Reed let out a sharp gasp.
“
I’m… I’m okay,” he answered.
He pushed himself away from me, just enough to spin and look at my face. I saw his eyes widen as he took me in. “Millie, what happened?” Reed tried to push himself to his feet, but as he started to rise he suddenly gripped his head again and fell back down. “What did he do to you?” he asked through clenched teeth.
I opened my mouth to answer, then stopped myself. I could only imagine how I looked. My entire body throbbed, the blood now coursing through me pounding at my bruises. I wanted to tell Reed everything that had just happened. But something deeper surfaced in my mind.
“
He set me free.”
“
He… what?” Reed squinted his eyes at me. I could see his eyes focusing more. They weren’t swimming around anymore, blinking for desperate focus.
A small smile spread on my lips. “I will explain it later.”
Standing up, I pulled the ELIS from my pocket. I had never looked at one up close before. Smaller than a gun, the scanner consisted of a flat box with a small screen on top and a thin handle underneath. Around the screen were tiny black buttons. I stared at the buttons, hoping one would jump out and give me the answer I needed.
I finally saw it.
I held the scanner up to my metal bracelet then hit the button simply labeled ‘Detach.’ The machine stayed silent a moment before it let out one long beep. I could feel the bracelet vibrate, as if fighting the command. It clicked loudly, and fell to the ground.
I picked it up, tenderly holding it between my thumb and index finger. My name, etched in the metal surface, almost seemed to glitter in the sun. I had worn this bracelet my entire life. It had always been with me, had always been a part of who I was. Now I knew the truth: It wasn’t a part of me. It was a part of the Nation.
With all my strength, I heaved the bracelet into the air. It soared over the rooftops, glittering in the sun once more before diving out of sight. I stood in silence, staring at the last spot I had seen it.
“
Millie?” Reed had moved to stand closer to me, his hand still holding his head tenderly. He wobbled slightly on his feet, but seemed to have most of his bearings back. Rubbing his head, he looked down at the ground. His eyes stared at the gun I had dropped when I dove for him. “What’s going on?”
I glanced at the ELIS. The light still blinked. Finding the button I had seen Carl push, I pressed it and watched as the light blinked once more then went dead. “We need to get out of here. Those cops will be back. Soon.”
Reed gave me a single nod and hurried over to the truck. Reaching into the back, he pulled out our bags and hefted them over his shoulder. I bent down and picked up the gun. It suddenly felt heavier in my hands, foreign and deadly. I watched as Reed stared into the bed, then slowly reached in and pulled out Eddie’s bag.
Eddie.
My eyes trailed over to Eddie. Deep inside, I had been hoping he would somehow be alright. That what I had seen earlier had been a nightmare. A messed-up memory. Anything. As my eyes settled on Eddie, I knew I wouldn’t get that wish.
Reed lightly touched my shoulder as he passed. He had pulled a blanket from Eddie’s bag and carefully laid it over his friend’s now cold body. He knelt there, watching Eddie’s face, his hands hovering above Eddie’s still body as if they were afraid to touch him. Reed let out a sigh, the sound of a choked sob obvious in his tired voice, and pulled the blanket over Eddie’s head.
Turning to me, he held out his hand. I saw the glint of tears in his eyes. “You shouldn’t be holding that. I hate seeing it in your hands.” I looked down at the gun, my own eyes blurred with tears. Reed stepped forward, gently taking it from me. “It’s okay.” His voice was soft. He lifted a hand and gently touched my face, running his fingers along my cheek and back through my hair as a stray tear escaped and trailed down his tan cheek. “It will be alright.”
Looking down at Eddie’s covered body, I felt my stomach knot. “We can’t just leave him here,” I said, my voice almost begging.
“
We have to,” Reed answered softly, tucking the gun into the back of his pants. “We don’t have time to take him with us, or bury him.” Reed glanced up at the sky a moment, then looked back to me and smiled. “Eddie would understand.”
I nodded. Took Reed’s hand. He squeezed my fingers gently, then pulled me to his side as we started down the deserted road.
| | |
We walked for a good hour. The town had disappeared some time ago, turning slowly into houses that lined the road, covered in forgotten dust. I expected at any moment to hear the wail of police cars, the shots of guns as they found us. I glanced over my shoulder, anticipating the flash of the lights as they bore us down. Everything remained calm and quiet. No one was anywhere in sight except for Reed and me.
The whale on top of the house spun slightly in the breeze. Reed and I stopped at the open gate, staring up at the house. Though it didn’t seem nearly as huge as the house back at the Orchard, it was still large. A porch wrapped around the entire house, the corners covered in spider webs and debris. All of the windows were tightly boarded over. Even the door had nails driven into its hinges. No one was going in.
I pictured Jude as a young boy, his smile huge on his face, as he jumped around on the open deck. I could almost see him as he laughed and sang, disappearing around the corner to run down to the beach. I imagined him standing in front of the huge Wall, his young eyes following it up to the sky, the sound of the waves on the other side singing to him.
Following the ghost of a memory, I stepped up onto the deck. The boards creaked under my feet. With Reed close at my side, I made my way around the corner. Every window we passed had been boarded tight some time ago. Though the outside of the house had been worn and damaged from weather, I knew that inside was a tomb of a life long since abandoned.
I reached forward and trailed my fingers along one of the boarded windows, paint chipping away under my touch. Memories of Jude flashed in my mind. He had been my friend. One of my only friends. I knew he was safe, his job and money protecting him in this dangerous world. Still, something inside ached strangely for his easy smile and musical voice.