Private Show (The Private Series) (8 page)

“Enjoying your coffee?”

Her face lights up and she sighs. “Hmm… yes, thank you so much, Ben.”

“You are very welcome, Punky. So are you ready for your interview on Monday?” I got her an interview at the magazine; my boss was very impressed with her shots from the Maroon 5 show… as he should be, and it only took as few small words to get her in.

“I am! I am really excited and nervous.” She squirms in her seat.

“Oh, you’ll nail it.” I assure her. “You have an amazing gift and deserve all the happiness you can get.”

She stands up and comes over to me and lightly kisses me, wrapping her arms around my neck and playing with the short hairs at the nape of my neck. It sends chills down my whole body.

She grabs my hand and her coffee mug and we walk to my black sofa. I sit and she climbs into my lap, just snuggles right in.

This is it. I am home.

Nothing beats just cuddling up with Ben. He is warm and solid and extremely comforting. His hand rubs up and down my leg and he breathes in my hair, my mind drifts to that dream I had a while ago. I chuckle and hide my face, so he doesn’t see me blush.

“What? What’s got you laughing now?” Ben asks me with a smile. He pulls my face up to study mine.

“Um… nothing…”

“Bull! Look at you! You’re pink and embarrassed! I want to know, tell me or I will tickle you!”

Before I can even say anything, his hands are on my ribs, poking and tickling. I squirm and gasp for air. “OK! OK! I’ll tell you!”

“Good. Carry on.”

“Okay, the reason I was blushing is… I was remembering a dream I had not long ago.”

“A dream about moi, perhaps?” He winks and sounds so sure of himself. Cocky bastard…

“Ugh, Yes.” I sit up. “Yes, I, Tess Martin, had a dirty dream about you.”

Now he is really interested, straightening his back and focusing purely on me alone. “What was I doing in this dream?”

I hide my face in my hands. “You were playing bass for a crowd. Then the crowd was gone and it was just you and me. But at some point you were naked and your bass was the only thing on you.”

He has a sideways smile. Oh, yeah he is intrigued. “You and I… well… and it was hot. You and me on a stage, but we were alone. Private.”

“And…? That can’t be all that happened to make you blush like you are.”

“No. No, it wasn’t. But I am not going to tell you the rest. I just can’t.” As I am finishing my plea, he raises his hands like he’s about to tickle me some more.

Crap! No!

I blurt it out. “You said you loved me.”

The tickling ceases immediately.

I am too afraid to look at him, too afraid to see the shock and horror on his face. I should have kept my mouth shut. I knew opening up to him or anyone was a bad idea. Now I have just opened a world of pain for myself.

He pulls away…

Yup, here we go…

He runs his hands through his hair. He licks his lips and he is thinking about what to say. I can’t help but pull my knees up to my chest and hug them as tight as I can. I tuck my face into the tops of my knees and I have to bite my lip to stifle the crying that is starting. I don’t want to cry, not in front of him, not while he is about to break my heart.

He lets out a stressed sigh and stands. Then he crouches in front of me. He then places his hands on my arms and tries to pull them away from my legs. I fight at first but then let go. Why put off the inevitable, right?

His voice is soft and gentle. “Hey, what have I told you about hiding from me, huh?”

I finally gain the courage to look into his eyes. They are not angry or stressed at all. “That’s better, now can we do something about those tears?” He wipes the wetness from my cheeks, then holds my face in his hands. “Why are you crying, Tess?”

I take in a soft breath. “Because you’re going to cut it off with me, because you’re thinking this is too much too soon. You don’t do love.”

“Why would you assume that?”

“Because Ben, you have had your heart broken in one of the worst ways possible and had so many women.”

Ben grabs my ankles so my legs drop from my chest, holding my hands “That’s where you are dead wrong, Tess.” He kisses my damp cheeks.

“I…” He kisses my forehead

“Love.” He kisses the corner of my mouth.

“You.”

I lose it. I start sobbing, but only because I am so happy. Now he looks really freaked out. “What? Why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset. I am overwhelmed with joy. I love you too, Ben.”

His lips are on mine faster than the speed of light. No, I am pretty sure the devil himself couldn’t stand this heat.

Ben pulls away. “I want to hear more about this dream of yours.” He gives me that panty-dropping smile and I pull him back to me.

Ben had just dropped me off at my apartment. It’s late morning and I am still on cloud nine and my head is spinning from everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.

I am so full of emotion and energy, I need to get it out and express it. I need music, more coffee, and my paints.

Unfortunately I need to go to work. Damn it.

I grab a shower and I am off to the coffee house.

I still get weird stares from my coworkers. Which reminds me of Dave, and that is something I don’t ever want to be reminded of anymore. I don’t know why I continue on working here. Sure, I get to drink all the coffee I can get, but is that enough to continuously keep torturing myself?

I am about halfway through my shift when a girl I work with named Jen approaches me. “Hey,” she says, “so did you hear about Dave’s sentence?”

I cringe. “No. No, I haven’t.”

She shrugs. “Oh, well, they are locking him up for five years. I just thought that you would like to know, ya know to calm your nerves, you always seem so jumpy.”

I didn’t think anyone was taking notice of my nervous jumping, whenever I hear a loud crash or someone yelling abruptly. “Uh, have you seen how much coffee I drink in a shift? I bet you’d be a little jumpy too.”

She laughs. “True.” And she is off to help another hipster customer.

I pull out my cell, needing to hear Ben’s voice. “Hey baby,” he answers. God, I love his accent. “Tess? Are you all right? Did you make it to work alright?”

“Yes. I am OK. Well, as OK as I can get with everyone bringing up Dave in this place.”

He lets out a deep growl; obviously, this is also a tough topic for him too. “Why do you put up with it? Why don’t you just quit? It’s not worth the pain, baby.”

“But I need to work, Ben. The job market isn’t exactly the best right now and I have an apartment and bills to pay for, along with school.”

“You have the interview at
Tones
tomorrow, you will blow them out of the water, and then you will be working at a place where your talent can be praised and showcased.” His voice is full of pride.

“I am nervous that I won’t get it, whatever it is that they will offer me. What if your boss only wants an intern? I would still need a job.”

Jen hollers over to me to give her a hand. “Hey, Ben I gotta get going, or Jen is going have a stroke.”

I hear a deep chest laugh on the other end. “OK, baby, I’ll see you soon. I love you.” And my heart skips a beat and I get a total head rush from his words.

“I love you too.” Then I hang up my phone, shove it in my pocket. I rush back to the counter trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, because everyone reminds me of Dave.

“Tess, can you get the counter, while I run to the back for more beans?” Jen asks while passing me.

“Sure, why not?” When I get to the counter, I log in my employee number into the register. “Hey, what can I…”

“Hi.” Ben is full of smiles in front of me.

“Hi yourself.”

He tucks his hands into his dark washed jean pockets and leans in. “Wanna get out of here?” He asks so casually.

“Um, I’m working.”

“You said it yourself, you’re not happy here and it’s not worth the constant reminder of…” His voice trails off.

I draw in the corner of my lip, contemplating actually walking out. Can I do that? Should I? I look around the shop and it’s not very busy, and I really think about it. It really isn’t worth it, but it’s not my style to be that irresponsible.

“I do, but I can’t just walk out of here Ben.” I pull him to the side. “
Tones
isn’t a definite. I don’t have financial reliability like you do Ben, I don’t know how you can afford your penthouse, car and bike just from working at the magazine. You talk about being independent, but I know your Dad has money is that how?”

Ben studies me for a moment, “No, I don’t get it from my Dad and why is this such an issue? I am looking out for you, I am getting you your dream job, which pays pretty damn good I must say.”

“Because you are too sure. You assume I will get it and that I should just walk away from the only avenue I have for making a living.” I can’t help but get heated about the topic, probably because he has never had to struggle a day in his life. He doesn’t get it.

He steps in closer, “I know…”

“No, you don’t know. I am just starting out and on my own, no help. I am trying to stand on my own two feet.”

“OK, I got it.” He snips, “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know that, but I need to be able to do this for myself. My whole life was a struggle, I grew up in apartments and even a couple trailer parks… you grew up in a house and never had to ask for a thing.”

I put my hands on his chest and look into his mocha eyes, “I am thankful that you got me the interview, but I can’t just walk out of here. How about I put in my two weeks? If I don’t get the job at
Tones
then I can at least find a new job that doesn’t remind me of Dave.”

“Fine, but your happiness is what matters the most.” he sighs. “What time do you get done today?”

“In an hour.”

He kisses me on the forehead and tells me, “I’ll come and get you then.”

“Okay, I love you.”

“Love you.”

And I watch his fine ass walk out of the shop.

Apparently every Sunday, Ben goes to his family’s house for dinner. Now this is not something you see or hear about a twenty-five-year-old guy doing. And I have agreed to join him. Why oh why? Especially after seeing that heated dispute last night at the Halloween party? But let’s just say that Ben can be very persuasive…

I am interested to find out more about Caroline, though. I am honestly a little worried about her. I know being a teen girl is not easy, especially one who is a little different or unique and from what I can tell Jack doesn’t fully get it or understand her dreams.

Huh, yeah that’s extremely familiar. My dad never accepted my desire to be an artist or the way I expressed myself. I don’t want to see Caroline go through what I did and I am pretty sure Ben has the same concern for his baby sister.

When we walk into the house, you would never know that a huge Halloween party went down not even twenty-four hours ago. Then I wonder how much it must have cost to pay someone or a group of people to clean that mess up.

Ben announces that we are here and Gwen comes out of the kitchen. She is wearing a flowy ankle-length skirt and a white blouse; she looks her usual hippy-chick self today.