Private Show (The Private Series) (10 page)

“I love you.” At this moment, it’s all I can offer him.

We finally stand and move to the deck.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because I shouldn’t have broken down like that. Not in front of you. I am supposed to be strong for you and here I am crying like a big baby, over what? Good news?”

“It was a surprise to us all, Ben. You just didn’t know what to do or say and that’s OK. It’s a big deal and your father moving on in such an official way just threw you off balance.”

He is silent, thinking for a moment. “I just didn’t ever think he would replace mum.” Simple answer and it says it all. He drops his head into his hands but I quickly stop him, because he needs to see me say this.

“Just because the one person you loved more than life itself, leaves in the worst way imaginable doesn’t mean the people left behind have to suffer forever. Your father found a woman he could love, maybe not as much as he loved your mother, but he loves Gwen. You need to accept that, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will someday. You know what it’s like to have a big love of your life hurt you. I know that isn’t remotely close to how things happened for your father, mother and your family, but you know what its like to hurt for a long time and then to find someone.”

I am not happy bringing Nicole into things. Having to use his cheating ex-whore of a fiancé as an example really burns my ass.

“I am happy for him. It’s just… hard.”

“I know, baby.”

He leans in for what I think is a soft comforting kiss; what I get is full of heat and fire.

“Ben…” I drag out his name, which of course only drives him on harder. So I try again, “Benjamin…”

This make his head pop up.

“You have never called me by my whole name before.”

“We need to go inside. You have to say something… anything.”

He takes in a deep breath, stands and looks through the glass door. He sees Jack and Gwen hugging and holding each other, but also looking out to us, waiting for him to get it together. Jack would be the first one to know how Ben operates.

“Guess now is a better time than never.” We walk in… together.

Ben and Jack had a good heart to heart. Ben wouldn’t let go of my hand the whole time. He was able to express for the first time apparently just how much he has been hurting about his mother’s death and that he didn’t think his father’s relationship with Gwen was that serious. They agree that Ben was probably in denial and had blinders on. I think this long talk was good for the both of them, to gain a little perspective on each other’s side.

Caroline was excused for the night to go be with a friend, and to gush and brag about going to New York in just a short few weeks. As we are preparing to leave I remember that I had left my arm warmers up in Caroline’s room.

I dash up the steps, turn the corner into her room and walk to the bed where I had left them. Curious to see what she was working on now, I take a peek at her sewing station. There is a small stack of design sketches on the workspace. I finger through a few and most of them are bright whites, pinks, sea foams and reds.

Then I see an elaborate design sketch of a bizarre dress, and I am one who likes bizarre. It’s a black form-fitting dress with long sleeves and it has deep satiny ribbon stitched up the forearms, which look like actual stitches, like someone would get in a hospital. The ribbons spiral away from the sleeves. It’s kind of a cool design I would totally wear it.

I set the paper down and trail my fingers over the art instruments; pencils, markers, erasers… a razor blade? Probably for cutting the fabric. I turn my head in the direction of her laptop and I see her Facebook page open. I will have to ‘friend’ her later. I get a quick glimpse of a few comments on her page:

Slut, freak, teacher fucker go back to London
, are a few that stand out. My heart clenches, it cannot be easy, being a teen today with this kind of social media. Teens today can hide behind a screen and talk all the shit they want and not see the pain they are enforcing.

This is private I shouldn’t be looking at it, but I will be talking to her about it. I get up from her desk, turn and as I pass her bathroom I see mannequin heads…OK, this I have to investigate. I peak in and I see a couple different wigs on heads, they all look so realistic.

Caroline wears a wig? Another thing added to ask her about.

I turn to walk back out and Ben is right there, arms folded across his chest. “Snooping, are we?”

He looks dead serious. I don’t know if I should be worried or not. I shift nervously from foot to foot and I nervously tuck a piece of stray hair behind my ear. What do I say? Biting down on my lip, I look to the floor and then the wind is knocked out of me, and the next thing I know I am being hauled off out of the room over Ben’s shoulder. What the…?

Ben smacks my ass and leaves a little sting. Once again I don’t know if I should be afraid or turned on. When I expect him to turn to go down the steps, he strides through the door across the hall, to his old room.

He kicks the door shut from behind and continues his forceful stride to his bed. He drops me on my back and he starts to undo his jeans.

Oh? Oh my!

He looks at me. “We don’t have much time before my Dad or Gwen get suspicious.” His eyes are on fire with desire. I am instantly wet and ready for him. As he undoes his belt, I eagerly get to work on getting my own jeans off. He grabs the waistband and my underwear at the same time and pulls them right off, in one swift motion.

“I have been dying to take you here since last night at the party,” he says. “I have never had a woman in here and I want you right here, right now.”

All I can get out is a whimper, because I just want him inside of me right now. He is on top of me before I can finish that thought, and he drives into me hard and fast. Only slowing once or twice to swirl his hips, while deep inside. This drives me mad and he knows it. I am trying with all my might not to scream, but this feels too good! How do I keep myself from announcing to everyone in this house that their son is taking me for all that I am up in his high school bedroom?

Sensing my need, Ben reaches above my head holds a small pillow in front of me, all while never missing a pounding beat. “Bite down on this and scream.”

I do as I am told. “That’s my girl. Now let me and only me, hear you.” I am reaching a very hard and very fast climax and he is right with me. I am grateful for the pillow, because without it I am pretty sure I would have screamed at the top of my lungs. Ben buries his mouth between my shoulder and neck. I not only hear his moan with his release, but he gives me a little bite and that make me come all around him one more time. He lifts his head, gives me a feather-light kiss on my lips, and whispers, “God, I love you.”

“You’re only saying that, because you just had sex with me in your old bedroom.” His eyes grow serious. Oh, geez, can’t he tell when I am joking yet?

“No. That’s not why. I love you for so many other reasons that I couldn’t even count on all my fingers and toes. I. Love. You. But we really need to get moving, even though I would prefer to stay just like this.” And he wriggles his hips.

Covering my face, realizing we have been up here for probably a good amount of suspicious time. We quickly dress and make our way back down stairs.

We find Jack and Gwen cleaning up the kitchen together and they look so sweet and happy in that moment. Ben sees it too. He looks down at me and me up to him and he kisses my forehead and smiles.

On the way home I ask Ben about Caroline.

“What do you mean you’re concerned?”

I fiddle with my fingers, “I saw a few things on her Facebook page… things people are calling her.”

His face hardens, “What did they say?” He looks sternly at me from the driver’s side.

“Look, I didn’t bring this up to freak you out or to upset you.”

“What did they say Tess?”

“They were calling her names like, slut and teacher fucker and few others. I didn’t want to look any more, because it’s her privacy. But, Ben, I think there’s something going on.” I am genuinely worried, she is showing signs of how I was during my downward spiral.

“She is seeing a therapist.” He informs me.

“Yeah so did I, when I was her age. That didn’t help shit, you learn to say what they want to hear. Will you just look into it Ben? Make sure she isn’t in any kind of trouble?”

“Of course, but I really don’t think we have much to worry about. Kids are assholes these days, they just want to bring the tough ones down and Caroline is tough.”

“I hope so.”

My alarm goes off at seven a.m, giving me plenty of time to prepare myself for my interview at
Tones
. Beyond excited, nervous and beside myself, I am incredibly grateful to Ben for getting me an interview. Most magazines wouldn’t look at someone like me, no college degree… yet, or field experience, unless you count all the times I snuck my little camera into shows, but I am willing to bet that is a negative.

After coffee and a shower, I get my bag ready. Portfolio: check. Camera: check. Purse full of my random carry-alongs: check. I go to grab my phone last and I see I have a text from Ben:

Text me when you are walking in the office
.

I reply back:
You got it. X
.

I round the corner to enter the tall gray building. I stop right in front and I take a look up… way up. My stomach is in knots. What if I blow this? I wouldn’t just be letting myself down, but Ben too, considering what he had to do to get me in here. I pull out my phone and text Ben again:

I’m scared
.

Where are you?

Outside… downstairs…

Stay where you are I’ll come get you
.

Two minutes later I see Ben approaching the glass doors which separate us and my stomach flops once again. He has a huge grin on his face, which warms me up considering it’s November in Seattle. As soon as he is through the doors, his arms go right around me, “Hey baby.”

“Hi.” I mouse out.