Private Sins (Three Rivers Series: Book 1) (6 page)

CHAPTER TEN

The Three Rivers Church was usually packed on Sabbaths, but it was an especially tight fit in December. Returning residents, vacationers and family members of regular church members would attend the various programs that heralded the ending of the year. It was Theo's busiest time and Kelly stood in the vestry watching as he greeted a few of his elders.

These days she rarely spent time in the main church. She would sit with the baby in the mother's room and watch the proceedings from the television screen that was setup in the sound proof room.

Today she was going to sit with her mother-in-law, Valda, in the main church, but as usual she would slip away when the baby began to cry. She was not too comfortable with sitting in the main sanctuary because she did not want anyone to sit and stare at the baby and come up with any new theories about his paternity.

Valda had arrived in Jamaica on Thursday and several times had commented on how unusual the baby's complexion was, in comparison to the rest of the family. Kelly had been very grateful that Chris no longer came to church or her very astute mother-in-law would have noticed the resemblance and said something to Theo.

“Sister Kelly.” Pauline the director of the children's choir came to shake her hand. “I have not seen you around the children's division in a while, but I understand.”

Kelly smiled. “I can't say that I miss you guys, Sister P. With two children and a baby with a healthy pair of lungs. I am glad for the break.”

Pauline laughed and turned to the older woman standing beside Kelly, “Sister Palmer, I swear you get younger every time I see you.”

Valda laughed. “Hello, Pauline. It is a pleasure to be back home in Jamaica and to see you.”

“Your grandchildren will be singing solo parts in the choir today,” Pauline smiled, “that should be an extra special treat for you and the family, have a great day.”

Valda nodded and then turned to Kelly. “Give me the baby, I'll go inside now while you greet your friends.”

Kelly handed her the baby and then turned around—her eyes collided with Hyacinth Donahue's.

She came over to Kelly with a determined look in her eyes, “Pleasant morning, Sister Kelly.” She had on a broad hot-pink hat that matched her suit and shoes. She looked so dainty and elegant that for a moment Kelly felt gauche.

“Good morning,” Kelly smiled at her.

Hyacinth lowered her voice and asked, “Can I have a word with you outside?”

They walked outside and stood under a tree which was surrounded by some beautiful caladium flowers.  The breeze lifted Kelly's curls and she swiped her hair away from her face.

“Yes Sister Hyacinth,” she looked at Chris' mother intently, a trickle of fear in the pit of her stomach alerting her to the fact that this might not be good news. Hyacinth had gone out of her way to avoid her since she had returned to church. She had thought it strange and had even wondered if Chris had told his parents but had quickly dismissed it from her mind.

“My husband warned me about talking to you about this,” Hyacinth looked at Kelly pleadingly, “I feel so cut up when I see that woman, Sister Valda, with my grandson and I am not able to go near him or to even look at him properly. I just would like the opportunity to know him too. That’s all I am asking. Is it too much to ask?”

Kelly froze. Her knees felt weak and she felt a faint sensation in her head, she quickly leaned on the tree, crushing a caladium or two in her hurry to find support.

“Chris told you?” She whispered hoarsely.

“Yes,” Hyacinth said earnestly. “We don’t want to make trouble for you or get involved in the whole situation, but in here,” she pressed her chest, “I hurt. I want to meet him properly…I am very family-oriented you know.”

Kelly cleared her throat, “Hyacinth, Mark is not your family. He's a Palmer. He's mine and Theo's. Chris and I were never supposed to happen.”

“But it did,” Hyacinth said a steely glint in her eye, “and I want to meet my grandchild. That’s not too much to ask is it? It's Christmas season, my other three grandchildren are here but I just want to hold him.”

“Your daughters are here?” Kelly asked, her mind clicking in overdrive, one of the daughters Marie had two sons and the other Fiona had a daughter. The three children could be siblings, the way they resembled each other―same hazel eyes, pink lips, light skin, just like her son. She shuddered. “Are they at church today?”

“Oh yes,” Hyacinth said smiling, “I got Sister Pauline to involve my grandchildren in the children's choir.”

That would mean that Valda would see them singing. Please God, let her not try to put two and two together
, Kelly inhaled sharply. Was this to be her last day of escape before Theo found out about her infidelity?

She glanced at Hyacinth and sighed, “I can't. I am sorry.”

Hyacinth shrugged, “I might have to tell Pastor Palmer then.”

Kelly laughed a hint of hysteria coating her voice. “Blackmail,” she threw up her hands, “first thing in the morning at church! Do whatever, I don’t care.”

She stomped off toward the entrance of the church, leaving Hyacinth behind.

*****

She entered the foyer, which had interior stonework of a warm brown color, and attractive poinsettias in matching gold pots scattered throughout the space. Usually the décor would have a calming effect on her but even after inhaling and exhaling rapidly, the feeling of panic persisted. She tried to calm her nerves but felt jumpy and anxious. For the past two days she was walking on a knife's edge, first with her mother-in-law and now Hyacinth.

Hyacinth was the least likely blackmailer she thought, but now here she was at church threatening to tell her husband the truth.

If he wasn’t going to preach today, she would run around to the vestry and confess to him first. But then again the fall out that she envisioned it would cause always held her back. Today might just be her Waterloo.

“Looking great in red, Sister Kelly.” Erica came behind her.

Kelly jumped, “Oh, it’s you.”

“Yes me,” Erica felt her cheek, “are you feverish or something? You look spooked.”

“Can you believe that Hyacinth Donahue just threatened to tell Theo that Mark is not his child?”

Erica gasped, “She knows?”

“Yes,” Kelly said frustrated, “it seems as if Chris went and blabbed to his parents.”

Erica whistled, “That woman is going to hound you. The whole clan will want to have something to do with your child.”

“That’s not all,” Kelly whispered fiercely, “her grandchildren, all three of them, will be singing on the choir today and you know how much they look alike.”

“Mmmm,” Erica murmured, “why is that a big deal, nobody in their right mind would conclude that your baby is a Donahue just by that.”

“Yes they will,” Kelly's hands and lips started to tremble, “Valda is here, she has been mumbling all week about the baby's lack of resemblance to anybody in her family. I am doomed,” Kelly whimpered.

“You are paranoid,” Erica whispered back, waving to a couple who had just entered the foyer, “pull yourself together.”

“I can't,” Kelly shook her head, “I am getting it from all sides. My husband is going to leave me and take away my children. The whole world is going to know that I had an affair. The Donahue's will take away my baby and you and Mom will send me to the mental hospital.”

Erica chuckled at the last statement.

“Stop laughing,” Kelly said forcing a smile at a church sister who was looking in their direction, “God is punishing me for all of this. You wait and see. I'll be punished so badly. I think I am losing my mind. Why is it that today, of all days, Hyacinth Donahue had to accost me in the parking lot.”

“She's jealous,” Erica said glancing around. “Theo's mother is getting grandmotherly privileges and she isn’t.”

“I never thought of that,” Kelly had tears in her eyes. “I am going home.”

“No you are not,” Erica grabbed her arm. “We are going to the ladies room. You are going to wipe those tears, and then walk confidently into church, we are going to sit beside Valda and thwart every suggestion that she makes about anything concerning your child's paternity.”

Ten minutes later they entered church. It took Kelly all of five minutes to get composed and another five for Erica to convince her to stay. Kelly almost ran outside when she saw that Valda was sitting in the same pew with Chris' sisters and their spouses.

“Uh oh,” Erica had whispered. “Chin up, don’t worry.”

Kelly smiled politely at everyone and sat beside Valda but the row was so full that Erica had to sit behind them; her one ally was out of earshot and that contributed to Kelly's unease even more.

Chris' sister, Marie, kept glancing over at the baby and his other sister Fiona was looking at her fixatedly as if she had seen a ghost. Kelly could barely go through the motions of worship, she felt as if she was in a war and surrounded by hostile enemy.

The platform party entered the podium and she could barely meet Theo's eyes, he was staring at her with a slight frown and she wondered feverishly if Hyacinth had gotten to him yet.

She felt sick to her stomach and almost forgot to open her Bible for the scripture reading at the prompting of the person at the podium; a timely poke from Erica had snapped her out of it and she had taken up her hymnal instead.

All of this had not gone unnoticed by her husband who was watching her keenly. They sat down for the special song, which was done by the children's choir. She couldn’t even drum up a smile for Thealyn and Matthew who were in the front row—her eyes kept darting to the Donahue children in the front.

Valda whispered to her, “they look adorable in their purple and white choir robes.”

Kelly nodded and forced a smile. At least Valda hadn’t noticed anything unique about the Donahue children.

She breathed a sigh of relief but quickly came on edge again when Mark began to cry.

“I'll take him to the mother's room,” Valda said, and got up before Kelly could say that she would do it.

Kelly watched as Camille, Chris' favorite and closest sister, got up to follow her.
Where is she going?
Kelly thought in a panic, she hoped it was not to examine her baby more closely.

The agony of it all hit her and she didn’t realize that she missed the whole children's song until the church said Amen, snapping her out of her feverish imaginings and self-agonizing.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The sermon was a very well researched one based on covetousness. Usually when her husband preached Kelly would be very alert and listened carefully to what he said. Theo outlined the meaning of covetousness, which is an extreme desire to acquire or possess, wanting what others had and not being content with your own.

He used a projector for his sermons to emphasize his points. He frequently glanced at Kelly, who had now schooled her features into a parody of contentment. She wished she could see her own expression to see if she was properly imitating contentment, because she was as far from content as anyone could be.

Her mind was in the mother's room. Neither Camille nor Valda had returned and she was getting anxious as each second ticked by. She couldn’t take it any longer and she got up to go see what was keeping her mother-in-law.

She entered the room at the front of the church—to the right of the foyer—and pushed the door.

Valda was seated in one of the padded chairs and was watching the sermon intently and Camille was holding her baby.

Kelly felt the building spin a little and she slumped onto a nearby chair, dazed. The mother's room was empty but for the three adults.

“Oh there you are,” Valda said, smiling. “I could not get him to calm down,” she pointed to the baby. “So Camille here volunteered. It seems to have worked.”

Kelly nodded trying hard not to look directly on Camille. “You can go back into church now Valda, I'll stay with him.”

“Okay, if you are sure,” Valda said. “You don’t look so well.”

“I am fine,” Kelly went over to Camille, “just a bad headache coming on.”

“Then maybe you should just let me baby-sit a while then,” Camille said gazing at Kelly intently.

“Okay, I'll sit here but you go on in, Valda.”

Valda smiled and left the mother's room.

The only sounds that could be heard were the cooing of the baby and the sermon coming from the television.

Kelly avoided Camille's eyes and at first Camille did not say a word.

“How are you getting away with this?” Camille calmly asked after placing the now sleeping baby in the bassinet that Kelly had placed in the mother's room in anticipation of going there for solitude.

Kelly looked at Camille and shrugged, “what on earth are you talking about?”

Camille half-smiled, “your husband must be blind.”

Kelly stiffened. “Please stop, this is none of your business.”

“My brother, my business. My nephew, my business.”

“What's the matter with you people,” Kelly got up, “first your mother, now you. That baby belongs to me and my husband. I should not have to be defending that.”

“No you shouldn’t,” Camille said quietly, “but you and Chris had that little affair and now here you are defending yourself to me. You know we discussed this last Sunday and he never brought up the fact that he got you pregnant. But Marie, Fiona and I took one look at the baby and knew we were related to him.”

“Leave it alone,” Kelly sat back down and closed her eyes, “I am handling this the best way I know how.”

“No, you are not. You have my brother hiding away from this church that he has served for years. You have taken his only child and given it to another man. You are selfish.”

Kelly widened her eyes, her lips trembling. “No you are the one that’s selfish, you and your mother and your whole family. I love my husband and my children and being selfish—as you call it—is what works for us right now.”

Kelly's voice became suffused with tears. “I don’t need you and your family judging me. If I could turn back the clock, I would. I wouldn’t have worked with your brother, have had an affair with him and cheated on my husband. I am so sorry; I wish that I could just absent myself from the whole situation—like Chris—and move on with my life, okay. But I can't and I am tired of being judged and dissected and found wanting.”

She stood up, grabbed the handle of the bassinet and stormed out of the mother's room. She sat in her car for minutes as she watched her sleeping baby and looked out at the view from the parking lot. So today was the end of the world for Kelly Palmer. Too many people were privy to her secret and no doubt somebody would tell her husband. The imaginary axe that was swinging for her head was on its way down. She slumped with her head on the steering wheel, feeling wretched and sick.

*****

“I am so sorry about your headache,” Valda was looking at her with sympathy.

“I knew something was wrong with you when you walked into church today,” Theo kissed her on the forehead. “I will make some chamomile tea. You get some rest, okay honey.”

“Fine,” Kelly nodded, heading for the stairs. The master bedroom was just to the left but she felt as if she was seeing two doors. She really had gotten a monstrous headache from all that thinking and stress.

She kicked off her heels and slumped onto the bed the moment she reached the room. She would have driven home from church but her hands had been trembling and they had driven the one car, so she had to wait. Thankfully, Theo had not taken as long to leave church as he always did, coming to find her as soon as he could after the service.

When he found her in the car with beads of sweat on her upper lip and her head in her hands he had concluded that she was suffering from one of her infrequent headaches. Unfortunately, her headaches usually occurred when she was undergoing undue stress and Theo knew that.

She looked up when Theo entered the room with her tea. He drew the curtains, leaving the room in semi-darkness and whispered, “hush my love, you will soon be better.”

He gave her the tea and gently massaged her feet while she drank it. “You have such perfectly arched feet,” he said soothingly.

“Thanks,” Kelly murmured, the effect of the tea and the massage calming her nerves, somewhat.

“You looked extremely beautiful today,” Theo whispered, “but I knew that something was wrong. You looked uncomfortable, like you were on the verge of crying. I wanted to come down from the platform and give you a hug.”

He took the empty cup from Kelly and cuddled her to his chest, “I hate when you are in pain Kelly
—wish I could suffer through your headache instead.”

He waited for her breathing to become even before he moved; laying her head gently against the pillow and staring down at her. Her eyelashes were short and thick like a stumpy curtain; he had always found them fascinating, as he did anything that belonged to Kelly.

Her nose was short and straight and her lips were full and red. It was the first thing he had noticed about her. It had taken him several dates to ask her if the shade was real or if it was a particular shade of lipstick. He smiled now as he looked at her intently. She had laughed and said they are real. He didn’t believed her so he had kissed them to settle the question.

He kissed her lips softly now and sighed. He wasn’t a fool, something was bothering Kelly. Exactly what it was he was clueless about but he was tired of waiting around to find out. He would tackle what was causing her such mental anguish and get to the bottom of it, maybe he could help her with whatever it was.

He got up and quietly closed the door. The kids were in the living room watching a Bible story on DVD, and his mother was in the kitchen heating up food.

“How is she doing?” Valda glanced at him.

“Sleeping,” Theo grabbed his head and braced his feet apart. “Can I help?”

“No,” Valda said, “I have everything under control, the tofu and beans, barbecued gluten is heating up in the oven and the rice is in the microwave.”

“Where's the baby?” Theo asked suddenly concerned.

“Sleeping,” Valda said then paused, “Theo I am not one to pry or anything but…I mean…this baby looks nothing like us.”

Theo shook his head, “not that again Mom.”

Valda looked at him intently, “This baby resembles that girl I saw today in the mother's room, Camille Donahue. You should have seen the possessive way she was looking at the baby.”

Theo sat down on a stool beside the counter. “I agree that he is lighter than both Kelly and myself, but families are like that, there are several shades of color in our gene pool, several races and all of that mixed up.”

“Who in her family has hazel eyes, with green flecks?” Valda asked curiously, “Just name one person.”

Theo scratched his head. “Nobody that I know of, but I don’t know all of her family.”

His mother made a harrumph sound. “Maybe you should investigate this some more. Maybe the baby was switched at the hospital. I heard of a case the other day where the hospital messed up and gave two families the wrong babies.”

“There was no mix up,” Theo said frowning, “that’s our baby.”

“Or maybe it’s not.” Valda bent down to check on the protein in the oven and missed the look of fear that crossed her son's face.

.