Promise to Cherish (13 page)

“You better vote for me when you get out there,” Gov yelled over to Wally.

Wally turned and nodded at Gov. “You betcha, Gov,” he said. Then he was gone. In the nine months that Eli had been there Wally was the only one to leave. He wasn’t perfectly
healed
or
cured
,
but he’d found his way out of the storm that raged inside and was ready to start his life again.

There was only another hour left in Eli’s shift after Wally left. Everyone had eaten their suppers and the ward was unnaturally quiet. It was as if every patient had seen what the possibilities could be and those who had greater control of their actions and
minds were on their best behavior. Even Rodney was polite and careful.

Early the next morning, one of the other C.O.’s yelled down the hall. “Eli, call for you.”

He looked at the clock. It was just after six o’clock in the morning. Eli woke muddled but instantly concerned. He pulled himself from bed and quickly trotted to where the only phone was attached to the wall. He’d never gotten a call at the hospital before. Eli himself had called his family only once because it cost so much money. Another C.O. held the receiver for him. Concern wrapped around his body, making him feel as if he was moving in slow motion. The phone was cold in his hand; the shiny blackness seemed too unworn, too simple to be allowed to carry the weight of his world on the other end. He had the receiver to his ear for several long moments before he could say anything. He heard someone sniff on the other side, jarring him into reality.

“Hello?”

“Eli?” It was his brother, David. Had something happened to his parents? His sisters?

“David,
vass ist letz
?” He instantly asked his brother what was wrong.

“
Mem
said I should call you. Thought you should know.”

There was heaviness in David’s voice. He was usually one of the jokers of the family. Eli’s heart rammed against his chest and he inhaled, holding his breath.

“Is it
Dat
? The
szfiling
?” What if the call was about his twin sisters?

“No, it’s Mark and Syl. Their
haus
burned down last night.”

“
Nay
.
Sis net wah.
” This wasn’t happening. His chin fell to his chest. “Are they okay? Is anyone hurt?”

“They all made it out, but just barely. Mark has some problems with his lungs. He’s a little weak, but the doctor says he’ll
be fine. Sylvia is just beside herself. No one can get her to sleep. She’s having a hard time. She feels guilty because they think it might have started because of a candle she forgot to put out. Mark isn’t overly down, but you know Mark. He’s just that way. Doesn’t let anything get him down.”

That wasn’t what Eli was thinking at all. David had it all wrong. Mark was the most serious of all his brothers, not lighthearted in the least.

“You tell Mark they can rebuild. It’ll be okay. I’ll help him however I can—when I get home.”

“When will that be? Everybody sure wants you home. I think that’s why
Mem
wanted me to tell you. Maybe something like this will make a difference to your CPS director or someone. Because we need you.”

Eli could almost have handled those words better if they’d come laced with anger or bitterness. The words, however, dropped so heavy into his ears with such a sadness his eyes burned instantly. He cleared his throat and turned toward the wall. He stood and straightened his shoulders, inhaling deeply.

“Don’t know yet.” He cleared his throat again. “I’ll write if I learn anything. Thanks for calling, David. It was nice to hear from you, even though it was bad news.”

“Better go,
Dat
won’t like this phone bill and the neighbor
frau
is watching me and checking the clock about every five seconds.” The two men chuckled a bit, glad that they could speak without the neighbor lady understanding them. They’d always paid for their phone calls, but the farmer’s wife about three-quarter miles away was always unsure of letting them borrow the phone.

“
Ja, ich veis
. Tell
Mem
I’ll write soon.”

“Will do.”

The phone clicked off, but Eli waited for a few moments just to be sure. He took the phone from his ear and then found him
self looking at it. It was as if he was expecting to see the answers he needed inside somehow.

By the time he got to the ward his shoulders were weighed heavily with the news. It didn’t help that the patients had left their more calm selves from the day before by the wayside. While some were simply ungainly, there were others who were being purposely difficult. Eli’s patience was wearing thinner as the day progressed.

Adkins and DeWayne were helping Minton with shock therapy most of the day and he was with the patients by himself in the shower room. Freddy was in the other hall and James was in hydrotherapy. Not a single moment could be wasted on a day like this.

After lunch he was showering a room full of patients and Rodney grabbed the showerhead from his hand and sprayed it back at Eli. The water burst into his face and eyes. The taste of water was like metal in his mouth and he pinched his lips together. He scrambled to retrieve the showerhead from Rodney, who was cackling as he continued his wild antics.

“Rod, give it back.” He finally grabbed it. “Now, grab a towel, dry off, and line up.”

Rodney, who had become much more compliant than when he’d first arrived, reared up and pulled the showerhead back out of Eli’s hands. His face was red and his eyes grew wilder by the moment. Eli ducked when the showerhead came at him but then let instinct take over. He barreled into Rodney’s chest with his head and arms, taking them both down. The showerhead snapped from its place on the wall.

Rodney was yelling like a stuck pig and before Eli could even get off of him Christine ran into the shower room.

“What’s going on? Eli—Brenneman—what happened?” Christine’s face was instantly angry and she practically shoved Eli off of Rodney. “You’ve hurt him! Look at his arm.”

Eli looked down at Rodney. Sure enough, Rodney held an arm that was bent awkwardly. Clearly it was broken.

“He was trying to hit me with the showerhead. He nearly got me, too.”

“And you weren’t prepared for Rodney to act up? Come on, Eli, you know better than to let your guard down with him.”

Eli stood dumbfounded as he watched Christine gently help Rodney up. She picked up a wet and dirty towel from the floor and wrapped it around his bare waist. She didn’t look back at him as she walked out with Rodney, who was wailing loudly and cursing. He was left in the shower room alone with his guilt. How quickly his old self came back when the stresses around him pressed on him. Now he’d hurt a patient, would likely get reprimanded, and, worse, he’d probably lost Christine’s respect.

Eli was still breathing heavily when he left the shower room. He went about his work waiting for Adkins or the ward administrator or the CPS unit director to call him to answer for his actions, but after several hours none of them came. The other attendants were too busy to stop and ask him about what had happened, but he could glean from their expressions that they heard that he’d lost his temper. Christine avoided him for the rest of her shift, but when he left their building she was standing out front.

“What were you thinking, Eli?” she spat her words at him, getting close to his face. She was only a few inches shorter than him.

He exhaled and pursed his lips. “I know. I lost my temper when he came at me. I should’ve tried to calm him down before I pinned him.”

“I would say so.” Christine let out an angry groan. “You’re lucky that Rodney isn’t going to say anything. I told him that if he does he’ll end up in solitary anyway, since he also lost his cool.”

“You’re not going to say anything?” Mostly Eli was relieved,
but there was part of him that wanted to be punished. Wasn’t it flagellation that brought righteousness and purification from sin? He’d already pleaded with God for forgiveness over his temper.

“Not this time. But if it happens again, I will.” Christine’s gaze pierced Eli’s. “I was able to smooth it over with the doc while Rod’s arm was set. The doc knows Rod’s behavior and that he’s not unaccustomed to injuries, so he didn’t ask a lot of questions.”

Eli sighed and looked at his feet.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“What got into you? You’re always so collected and at ease with the patients. This isn’t like you.” Christine’s eyes were wide as she spoke to him but her face was drawn.

Eli shrugged. He rubbed a hand down his face and stifled a groan that was growing inside. “Actually, this is more like me. I’m not as fine a person as you think I am.”

“I think you’re wrong, Eli.” Her voice grew softer and her head tilted. “Just don’t lose your temper again, all right?”

Suddenly he had the urge to grab Christine, pull her close, and kiss her soundly on the mouth. But unlike the urge he had to take down Rodney, he didn’t fall to this temptation. He couldn’t. All week he’d seen a change in her. She was working more slowly and would stare off into space like he’d never seen her do before.

“What about you?” he said quietly as other nurses and attendants were walking past, coming and going from their shifts. “You haven’t been yourself this week either, Christine.”

She let out a loud sigh and looked away. “This isn’t about me, Eli. Don’t change the subject.”

“Well, if you’re not going to talk, then I won’t either.”

“How mature of you,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

“Christine,” another nurse said, bounding up to them. He rec
ognized the woman as one of Christine’s friends. “You’ve been avoiding me all week, what’s going on with you? You haven’t even told me if you had a hot time on your date with Jack.”

“Jeanne,” Christine scolded and her eyes shot back and forth from Eli to Jeanne.

“Oops,” Jeanne said.

Eli raised his eyebrows. “See, I’m not the only one who’s noticed.”

Christine didn’t meet his eyes before he walked away. Eli admitted to himself that he wished he could overhear the whispering between the two nurses. He wanted to know what secret she was keeping and why. Was it something to do with her family and the strain of their dependence on her, or was it about this
Jack
fellow and their date? He was uncomfortable with how much it bothered him to learn that she had gone out on a date.

“I heard about Rodney,” DeWayne said as he and Freddy fell into step with Eli. “Are you okay?”

Eli shrugged. He didn’t want to keep talking about it.

“You’re a lucky fella that Nurse Freeman’s got a shine for you, otherwise you’d be toast, buddy.” Freddy spoke too loudly, making the others near them turn around as they walked back to their dormitory. DeWayne shoved Freddy and put a finger to his lips, telling him to keep quiet.

“She does not,” Eli said in a loud whisper. “Christine’s just a friend.”

“If that’s the truth, then I’d make sure to call her Nurse Freeman from now on.” DeWayne said, eyeing him.

CHAPTER 11

S
o, what happened on New Year’s Eve?” Jeanne pressed Christine as they walked up the hill to the Kirkbride building.

“He drove me home.” Christine made sure to keep her eyes diverted from Jeanne’s.

“Come on, there’s no way that’s it. You sure were pretty forward to go after him. I saw you leave and then watched you talk outside. I saw the way he looked at you.”

Christine’s face burned. She couldn’t ever tell anyone about that night. It was too humiliating to even think of, let alone say out loud.

“He drove me home and we said good-bye. I’m fine with it, really.”

“Oh, here I’d been hoping he asked you for a real date.” Jeanne frowned. “Well, maybe it’s not too late. Or what do you think? Maybe he’s just distracted with school and with those awful rumors Sandy started. Did he talk about it?”

Christine shook her head. The lump in her throat kept her from being able to speak. Her knees grew weaker with each step, partly from the escalating hill but mostly because of the strength that left her any time the memory of that night took over her mind.

“Jeanne, I can’t—” her voice broke. Her eyes filled with tears. She wiped a hand against a cold cheek but Jeanne noticed them anyway.

“Oh, my darling.” Jeanne took her hands as they stood at the base of the Kirkbride building. Several nurses went by and Jeanne pulled her away from them, hiding Christine’s emotion from curious eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you feel worse about it. I’m sure if Jack gets to know you better he’ll ask you out.”

“Jeanne, I don’t want him to ask me out. I don’t want anything to do with him.” She got the words out between reluctant sobs.

“What? I thought you liked Jack?”

Christine held back more sobs, trying to regain her composure. In the few minutes they’d talked her growing need to confess what had happened overwhelmed her. Finally she broke.

“He raped me, Jeanne. Jack raped me.”

A week later, the ground everywhere was covered like powdered sugar. Christine walked up to the white steepled church that was so familiar. She was helped up the icy steps by a red-cheeked deacon with a wink and a grin. Once she was inside she couldn’t bear to see the smile on her mother’s face without giving one in return. Smiling, however, was the last thing she wanted to do. She’d had constant nightmares and couldn’t close her eyes where she didn’t see either Jack’s face or the image of herself throwing her innocence away.