Authors: Lacey Black
“Told her what?” I ask, fearing I already know the direction of the question.
“That you love her,” she replies.
I turn around and face my mom. Yep, that’s
exactly where I figured she was going. “No,” I reply, unable to lie.
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated, Mom.”
“Isn’t love always complicated, Nate?”
“Yeah, but this is really complicated. She has had a pretty rough past and I don’t want to push her. Hell, I’m not sure I want it either,” I tell her, dropping my eyes to the floor.
“Nathan,” Mom says in her best mom voice as she fixes those blue eyes on me. “If you’re afraid of love, you’re going to let it slip through your fingers. Lia’s had a rough past. Well, so have you,” Mom says with a pointed look. “No, don’t try to deny it. I know what you went through after graduation.”
“How?” I ask incredulous.
“A mother always knows, Nate. I could see it in your eyes. Did you ask her to marry you?” she asks, approaching until she’s standing right in front of me.
“Yeah,” I croak out over the lump in my throat.
“And she said no.”
“Amongst other things. Yes, she said no,” I reply, crossing my arms over my chest protectively. I hate that I’m reliving this, yet again.
“Did she tell you why?”
“She said she wanted to live her life in college and that she didn’t want to be a firefighter’s wife. Or should I say, a firefighter’s widow.”
“Nate, every job has its risks. Heck, walking down the street has its risks. Yes, your job has more risks than others. That does not mean that you are doomed to die on the job. Firemen everywhere live full, happy lives with wives and kids. You can, too, Nate. That is, if you want it.” Mom looks me square in the eye. “Do you want it, Nate?”
I consider my answer, though deep down, I already know. “Yeah,” I whisper.
“Then, go get it. Don’t let your fear or your past keep you from the life you want. There is a reason Jill and you didn’t work out. Everything happens for a reason. Lia needs you. I see it in her eyes every time she looks at you. I know there is something going on in her life, something big and scary. I can tell by the way she’s always looking over her shoulder or jumps at the slightest noise. She was brought to Rivers Edge for a reason. You are the reason, Nate. Protect her. Love her. Let her love you. I promise you, it will be worth it.”
I consider my mom’s words and know she’s right. I think about the smile that I know is there, waiting to feel safe enough to come out. I’ve seen it more and more lately, but I want to see it all the time. I want to help her, protect her, and love her. Hell, I do love her already.
“How do you always know what to say?” I ask my mom with a smile.
“Jake asked me the same thing once. Look at
him now,” she says and shrugs her head towards the window. Jake and Erin are snuggled under the oak tree in a chaise lounge, talking to Will and Travis.
My eyes find Lia. She’s sitting at the picnic table having a tea party with Joss and Bean. She’s smiling at my niece, pretending to drink her non-existent tea and snacking on her little plastic cookies. She’s beautiful. Perfect.
“A parent just knows, Nate. Someday, you will understand,” she says as she kisses me on my scruffy cheek. “Now get back outside before your brother, Will, moves in on your lady,” Mom says with a firm shove.
“I’m going,” I say as I head towards the back door. “Thank you,” I throw over my shoulder.
“You’re welcome, sweetie.”
I head out the door and straight to the picnic table. I don’t know if Lia is ready to hear the words, but I’m getting close to saying them anyway. I just pray she doesn’t hightail it back to wherever it is she came from when I say it.
The knock on the back door sounds at exactly 6:35am signifying his arrival. I pull the door open without even really looking or giving it a second thought. A few weeks back, that never would have happened, but in the several weeks since I’ve known Nate, I feel so protected and safe. Especially since Jake and Erin’s wedding over a week ago. Something changed in him. I can’t pinpoint what it is, but it’s different. Better. I feel like nothing could happen to me when he’s around.
“Good morning,” I say with a huge, school-girl-giddy smile plastered to my face.
“Mornin’,” Nate says as he steps inside the kitchen. His arms snake around my waist, pulling me tightly into his embrace. My favorite place.
His lips are on mine before the door is even closed. They are firm and dry, and taste vaguely like smoke which tells me he had a call not too long before getting off of work. He traces his tongue over the seam of my lips, begging me for entrance, which, of course, I allow. I moan as his tongue invades my mouth and his hands press firmly around my back. My hands dive into
his hair. Man, I love his hair. It’s so silky and soft.
Somewhere distantly, a knock echoes on glass.
“I should have opened five minutes ago,” I murmur against his lips.
“Five more minutes,” Nate says as his hands splay against my back.
“Can’t, big guy. That’s Mr. Forrester waiting on his cup of coffee,” I tell him as I pull back. “I need to go unlock the door.”
“Fine,” he replies as he adjusts his erection in his pants. And boy is it some erection. For a second, I contemplate leaving the front door locked and pulling him inside the small office in back.
“Why don’t you just head upstairs and sleep. I’ll wake you up in about seven hours.”
“How are you going to wake me up?” he asks with that sexy eyebrow of his raised almost to the ceiling.
“Let’s just say that I promise to use my tongue,” I say boldly with a wicked grin. “And only my tongue,” I add with a wink.
Nate groans and his eyes flutter closed. Another knock sounds on the glass door. “I’m going upstairs, but I doubt I’ll be able to sleep. Not with that image of you and your tongue in my head.”
Nate places another lingering kiss on my lips before heading towards the back door. “Get up front before they start a caffeine riot,” Nate says before
heading out the door.
I watch him go, savoring and committing to memory the view of Nate’s ass in worn jeans. After I quickly lock the door behind him, I head towards the swinging door. Time to get my day officially started. The quicker I get it going, the quicker I can end it and head upstairs to a waiting Nate.
I practically sprint up the stairs at two o’clock carrying the still-warm cinnamon roll with cream cheese icing: Nate’s favorite. Avery whipped up a batch right before I left, and I stole one off the tray before she could get them all put in the display case. Mrs. Stevens’ cinnamon rolls are legendary, or so I’ve heard. And honestly, even if I didn’t have Nate and the Stevens family here, I’d still stick around for a bit just for the cinnamon rolls.
I step inside the apartment, eager to see Nate, and know that something is instantly off. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and my blood tingles in my veins. I glance around, not seeing Nate. He must still be sleeping in my bedroom.
I step into the tiny kitchen and look around. Nothing seems out of place. The coffee mug that Nate used when he got here is still sitting next to the sink, and the bowl I used for oatmeal this morning is sitting next
to it. I have that same weird déjà vu feeling I had a month back. Someone has been here. I feel it. And that leaves me feeling completely exposed and vulnerable.
I slowly make my way to my bedroom where Nate is still passed out on top of my comforter. His body is perfection. Nate is sprawled out wearing nothing but his dark gray boxer briefs which conform perfectly to his powerful thighs. Just above the underwear is that delicious vee, sprinkled with sandy blond hair. My tongue actually starts to tingle as I imagine tracing the lines of that vee with the tip of my tongue.
“Are you going to gawk at me all afternoon or are you going to get in bed with me,” Nate mumbles without so much as cracking an eye open.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask, curiously.
“I could smell you,” Nate says. “You smell like sugar and coffee mixed with your shampoo. I could find you anywhere just by your scent,” he says, still not opening his eyes.
I walk over and slip onto the bed, snuggling up close in his embrace. “That’s so sweet, and only slightly creepy,” I reply with a small laugh.
“It’s true. I will always find you, Lia,” Nate says as he turns us both on our sides, his front to my back, and wraps his arms tightly around me. Somehow, I don’t think he’s talking about my scent anymore.
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” I
ask.
“Well, I need to run to St. Charles and pick up the tux I rented for the Gala on Saturday, and I was hoping you would come along with me and we can grab a bite to eat. We need to head to the mall, but there are several great little seafood places right along the river that Avery keeps raving about.”
“I can do that,” I tell him, pushing my rear back into his groin. The result is exactly what I was hoping for. Nate groans against my ear as he grinds his very instantly hard erection against my ass.
“You’re an evil, evil woman, you know that?” he asks as he bites the back of my neck.
I gasp with pleasure as he soothes the mark with his warm tongue. Before I know it, I’m flat on my back and Nate is hovering over me, kissing me with mind-blowing passion. It’s the kind of kiss that makes you forget your own name, but what came next definitely had me remembering Nate’s name, or more accurately, yelling it. Twice.
Nate talks the entire trip to St. Charles, telling me about his night and the two calls they had back-to-back. As much as I enjoy hearing about his day and his work, my mind keeps going back to that odd feeling I had when I entered my apartment. It’s the second time in
a month I’ve felt unnerved when walking into the apartment. My gut churns as I start to wonder if it’s time to move on. I fear that the only way to get past this feeling is to pack up my car and head to the next city. Wherever that is.
“Hey, what’s the matter? You look like you’re lost in your own head right now,” Nate says from the driver’s seat.
“Sorry. Just thinking,” I reply.
“About what?” he asks, bringing our linked fingers up to his lips.
“Nothing,” I say, not wanting to tell him about the strange feelings I’ve had lately or what that potentially means for him and me. Leaving Nate and what I feel for him behind in Rivers Edge is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hell, there’s no way I can leave what I feel for him behind. I will carry the pieces of my broken heart with me forever.
“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out, okay? If you don’t want to tell me, just say that. I know you have things you’re still dealing with so I don’t want to pry or push. Just know that I’m right here, and I’ll help and support you however I can. Okay?”
“Thank you,” I choke on the lump in my throat.
We’re quiet for the remaining few miles to St. Charles. We decide on dinner first and pull into a large parking lot behind a slew of restaurants and shops. Nate throws the car into park and walks around to help me
out.
“I mean it,” he says as he pulls me against his body and places a soft kiss against my lips. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m right here. For you.” Nate adds another kiss to punctuate his sentence. I could get lost in his kisses and his embrace for the rest of my life.
I nod in reply, not able to get the words out.
Thank you
just doesn’t seem like enough. Maybe because what I really want to say is
I love you
.
“Come on,” Nate says while linking our hands together. “The Fisherman’s Wharf is up this way. Avery says that’s the place she always goes to with Maddox.”
I follow Nate to the big red wooden door and we step inside. My taste buds are alive and my mouth starts to water as the scent of fresh seafood hits me in the face as we breach the threshold. I walk up, with Nate, to the hostess stand where a petite, pretty woman stands. She openly checks Nate out, letting her eyes linger a little too long on his chest.
“Good evening,” she coos sweetly. “How many in your party?”
“Two,” Nate replies as he tugs me into his arms. The movement pulls the sleeve of his t-shirt upward, revealing just a peak of his beautiful tattoo.
The hostess notices and smiles appreciatively at my man’s arm. Now, don’t get me wrong. I can find myself staring at his arms, handsome face, chest, ass,
and well, pretty much every part of his body myself. But…ogling while he’s with a date?
Back off bitch!
“Follow me,” she says with so much sugar, I have a toothache.